"I waited you know." Brittany stopped in the hallway so abruptly Santana almost ran into her back.
"Over 2 years I waited for you to be ready for us...for me. You don't think I can wait another year?"
"Brit—" Santana began, coming around to look at her from where she stood a few feet away.
"I'd wait two years. I'd wait two decades. Hell, I'd wait twenty decades if I could. Don't you get that?!" She spat angrily. Santana recoiled a bit, not used to Brittany being so livid.
"I just…I hate to think that you'd be missing out on the best parts of things because you'd be waiting for me." She looked off down the hall of her old High School, briefly remembering Junior Prom and Brittany missing out on the best parts of it because she had to go alone, without Santana.
"Damn it, Santana! You are the best part of anything, and it's stupid and it hurts and I know I don't understand a lot of things but I've always understood that. Why can't you?" She turned now to look Santana head on, arms in air and tears staining her cheeks.
"No, I'm not done yet," she shoved her finger inches away from Santana's shocked face. "We just stood up there and sang about how 'nobody said it was easy' and it's so true. It hasn't been easy on us, but I didn't wait so long and through so much for you to tell me we should stop now. It hurts when I roll over on Saturday mornings and you're not there beside me, it hurts when I put on my Cheerios outfit and you're not there putting yours on too. It hurts when I'm studying for a test and the only person who would help me without looking at me like I'm mentally challenged is miles away, and it hurts in Glee club when you're not there to sing and dance with. But it would hurt infinitely more to go through all those things and not know I'd see you in a few weeks. That I'd get to kiss you and hold you and smell your hair and fold your clothes with you and hold your hand and to sing in the car with you and…and…" she stopped, breathing heavily and trying to keep her cries from becoming sobs that shook her whole body.
"I'm doing this for you, Britt." Santana said quietly through her own tears, as she pulled Brittany into a hug.
"No, you're not. You said we should do the mature thing here but this isn't mature. Adults don't give up like this; you're acting like a child. You're doing this for you, because you feel bad you found another girl attractive. It's just like you to think that something so small is such a sin." She laughed a little into Santana's hair. "Don't you remember what Ms. Holiday said that day we were in Japan?" She said pulling from the hug, but only just far enough to look Santana in the eye.
"Which part, exactly?" She knew it wasn't the part about the Softball Equipment, or about Annie DeFranco.
"About how it's not who you're attracted to that matters. It only matters who you fall in love with. And I've never been in love with anyone or anything more than you. Ever." She released the hug, stepping back a few steps.
Santana shifted her weight from foot to foot, looking at Brittany's feet and legs but never higher than her hips.
"I just… I don't want to feel like punching myself every time I look at a pretty girl in class. I feel sick to my stomach thinking about that day in the Library with that girl… She wasn't you and I…" She trailed off, shaking her head instead of finishing the sentence.
"It's okay. If it makes you feel better I thought Rachel looked really pretty tonight in the Auditorium…" She hadn't been lying, but it wasn't a sexual attraction at all. Not even an "Energy Exchange" kind of attraction.
"You thinking Manhands is attractive is supposed to make me feel better?" Santana scoffed, going into instant bitch mode.
"San, you know what I mean. See, do you feel even a little threatened by that?"
"No, of course not, I know you wouldn't go within two feet of Yentl." She rolled her eyes, more at the fact she used a name for Rachel she hadn't used since Junior year than the fact that Brittany even pretended to think the two situations were similar.
"What about Sam? Would it be the same then?"
"Trouty, seriously? You want up on them guppy lips?" Santana tried to laugh as if it was the same as when she'd said Rachel's name, but of course it wasn't. Brittany wasn't a lesbian like Santana, and even as a lesbian she couldn't deny Sam had a certain appeal.
"Yes, he's really sweet, and he's the only one who has even cared to ask how I am without you here. I even helped him win the election with Blaine." She smiled, remembering how she threw the election because she knew Blaine needed it and that Sam probably did too.
"You're serious, aren't you?" Santana let a small amount of her panic escape as she misinterpreted the smile.
"About finding him attractive? Sure. And yeah, he's fun and he's kind and he makes me laugh with his impressions but even though I feel us exchanging energy," She said this with her fingers making quotations, "I don't want him. I feel that energy and I instantly feel comfortable with him. I feel that energy but it's nothing in comparison to us."
"But…he's here…with you, every day. That makes him the better choice." She sighed, realizing how true her words were only as she said them.
"No, it makes him the easier choice, you're always the better choice. I've never wanted anyone else since before I even knew I could want people the way I want you. He's a just a good friend to me. And besides, he's got it bad for this new girl."
"New girl?" Santana questioned, letting curiosity get her off topic.
"Her name is Marley, she sings almost as good as Rachel and, she wears a lot of hats." Brittany looked off towards the lockers behind Santana before shaking her head and getting back to the previous discussion. "My point is, it'd be easier for me to go off with him into the sunset while he thought about Marley and her weird number of fashionable hats but I'd rather sit and watch the sunset while I wait for you to be here to watch it with." She leaned forward and pressed the lightest peck on Santana's lips. More as reassurance of her words than anything else.
"I love you so much…" Santana whispered quietly.
"I know, San. So don't leave me all alone, okay?"
"But I have to leave tomorrow afternoon. That's the whole reason I'm doing this, I have to leave and I don't want you to feel like that Asian girl in that messed up God Club."
"I'll feel like that even more if you're not my girlfriend when you leave, San. " She pouted a little and leaned in to put their foreheads together.
"What if one of us slips up?" She knew neither of them would, she knew she couldn't.
"What do you mean? Like cheats? Because I thought we already covered that we wouldn't ever do that."
"I just…I don't want you to be sad anymore, Britt. I hate the idea that it's me that's making you so sad. The way things are isn't going to work if you're going to be sad, and I'm trying to change it so you won't be sad anymore because, damn it I can't stand when you're sad. Britt, I just can't, it hurts too much." She huffed out and slumped her shoulders a little in defeat.
"Can we just go to your house and cuddle? I'll be happy if we do that." She smiled and took Santana's hand in hers.
"You'll be happy for now, but what about later?" Santana added even though she was walking with Brittany towards her car anyways.
"Then I can remember it when I'm lonely, and get excited knowing I'll get to do it again soon." She beamed at her, pecking her lips again as they walked outside the school.