Hello everyone! This story came to my mind a few months ago and then it sat in my documents folder for a long while. I just came across it and finished the last few chapters. I hope you enjoy.
For those of you who are following my story Going Home. I am so sorry for the long update time! I am not abandoning it, I promise! Real life has just gotten in the way of my writing time lately. I have this story all written, so I'll finish posting this one and then I'll get working on Going Home again. ")
Warnings: I do not own Harry Potter or the characters in any way shape or form. There are mentions or rape and abuse in this story. If that bothers you, please skip to the next story on this site! :)
And thank you, thank you, thank you Castiel's Grace for looking this over!
Sitting on the edge of his bed Harry looked out the nearby window. He was both nervous and scared about this upcoming Christmas break. So far this year had been hell, what with Umbridge on his back, but now he was going to get to spend time with his Godfather, and he wasn't really sure how he felt about that.
Normally, he would be ecstatic to see his beloved Godfather and spend time with him, but what with recent discoveries about himself he was dreading this visit. He had to tell him though, he had to come out of the closet. He was so tired of hiding whom he was to the person he loved the most.
He had already told Ron and the Weasleys before school started, and they had accepted him with open arms. Now, he had a feeling deep in his gut that Sirius would not be the same. Would he still accept him when he wasn't just like his father? Would his Godfather still love him because he's gay? His gut was telling him no.
Speaking of Harry's best friend, Ron came and sat gently on the bed next to him wrapping his arm around his best friend's shoulder to comfort him. He knew exactly what was going through his friend's head. They have had this conversation often enough over the last month for him to have memorized it.
"Hey mate, everything will be ok. Remember the wizarding world is much more accepting about these things," Ron said.
Smiling Harry looked over at Ron knowing that his friend was trying his best, but then he sighed and looked down at his lap. "Thanks Ron, but how do you know? How do you know he won't throw me out? You've heard all the jokes he tells...and how he makes fun of 'the fairies'."
"Ignore all that Harry, I am sure that he was just trying in his weird way to bond with you or something. He loves you Harry, and I know this won't do anything to change that. Plus I'll be there right with you, and I'll kick his fat arse if he doesn't approve."
Harry punched Ron in the shoulder lightly with mirth in his eyes and a small smile on his face. "I should probably break this to him alone," Harry said, looking down at his lap while letting out another small sigh, "I think I'll be ok."
"Ok Harry, but you know where to find me if you need me to kick his arse."
Harry smiled and nodded. "Alright Ron, I will."
"Come on then, let's get packed. They'll be by to pick us up soon. I wonder who's coming to get us?"
Harry shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe Remus is coming?"
Ron nodded. "Probably. That makes the most sense."
The boy nodded and got up following his friend. Before the two set off to pack their trunks though, Ron turned to look at Harry seriously. "You know Harry, if anything does happen, you will always have a home with us. Mum has practically adopted you already."
Shyly blushing Harry looked down at his trunk and nodded. "Thanks Ron."
Ron gave a small nod and looked down at his own trunk frowning. "Can't we just throw everything in and be done with it? I hate packing."
Smiling Harry started folding his clothes neatly and placing them in the trunk. "You could Ron, but then think of what your mother would say."
"Yeah, yeah, I would never hear the end of it." Ron sighed and started neatly packing for his mother's sake.
A little while after they finished making sure they had everything, and probably more than they would need Dumbledore appeared in the doorway, ready to accompany them to the Headquarters.
"Come on boys, shrink your things, and follow me."
Harry looked at Ron, and the boy returned his confused glance. They had not expected Dumbledore of all people in the Order to come and pick them up, after all the man had been avoiding Harry all year.
"Well come on boys, hup hup!"
Both looked at each other one more time, but then jumped to action pointing their wands at their trunks, shrinking them, and then placing them in their pockets, ever grateful that Hermione had taught them that particular charm.
"Follow me, and we're going to use Professor McGonagall's floo."
Almost running, the two followed their Headmaster down the hall into their head of house's office. All the while they both wondered how an old man could walk so damn fast.
Reaching the fireplace, Albus threw the floo powder in and then stood aside for the boy's to go through. Ron hesitated though. "What about the rest of my family?"
The man placed a gentle hand on Ron's shoulder. "I already saw them through. We thought it would be better if everyone travailed in pairs. It raises less suspicion at the Ministry. They have everything under tight watch now."
The boy nodded and then flooed off to Headquarters leaving Harry alone with the Headmaster.
Harry watched his friend disappear and then walked over to the fireplace. Harry suddenly stopped before he went off to see his Godfather, with the intention to mumble what he had been hoping to say to the man ever since he had started avoiding him.
"I really am sorry sir, for whatever I did to make you so angry with me. I guess all this time the Dursley's were right."
After a soft sigh Harry was then gone in the next instant, leaving Albus sadly staring after his beloved student. He knew that ignoring Harry would have an effect on him, but he had hoped his boy wouldn't take it personally.
Albus sighed and shook his head. Who was he kidding? Harry was just a child. Of course, he would take it personally. Albus sadly started to walk away thinking of some way to make it up to Harry without putting him in danger. He also thought more about Harry's last comment. What had he meant about the Dursley's being right? Maybe he had just misunderstood the boy.
Meanwhile, at Headquarters, Ron, and Harry were stumbling out of the fireplace, but as soon as they gained their footing they were scooped up into Sirius', in Harry's case, and Molly's, in Ron's case, arms.
"Come on mum, you're squishing me!"
Molly pulled her son back and looked at him with a slightly scolding look. "I haven't seen you in months! Now let me look at you. Have you been eating enough?"
Molly looked Ron up and down and saw the dark bags under his eyes and the slightly thinner frame. She would talk to him later about that, but for now she had another son to look over. She knew Harry had been having a tough time and needed some extra care.
Sirius was just letting Harry go while Molly sent Ron upstairs to start to unpack. As soon as Ron was gone she went over to Harry and swept him up in a motherly hug.
"How are you dear?"
Molly pulled the boy back and looked him up and down as she had Ron and saw the same bags under his eyes and thinning frame. She also saw the worry and slight fear etched in his face. She knew why, he had asked for them to keep his secret until he was ready to tell his Godfather and they understood. It was hard coming out, and they weren't going to make it any harder for him. She really hoped that oaf of a Godfather did the right thing for Harry once in his life.
Gently she placed a hand on Harry's cheek. "Your still too skinny Harry and I see those bags. We'll talk more about this later, ok?"
Harry gave a small nod and then rushed off to join Ron in their room. He could already tell from that short time with his Godfather that he wasn't ready for this. He just wanted to run and hide and never come out.
Molly turned to Sirius and looked him in the eyes. "Be gentle with him this break."
"Come on Molly, he isn't made of china. He's a strong boy just like his Father."
With that Sirius walked out of the room in search of where Harry had gone making Molly sigh. She never thought that man had been a good guardian for Harry, but she really did hope that he proved her wrong for Harry's sake. The poor boy had enough on his plate.
"He may not be china, but he isn't as strong as you think. He's just a boy."
Molly sighed, knowing her words were lost to the empty hallway.
Upstairs Harry was lying on his stomach on top of his bed with his eyes closed tight. He couldn't do this. His Godfather was going to hate him. He wouldn't be the perfect replica of James anymore.
Ron peeked in their room and saw Harry laying on the bed so he walked to the room next door and grabbed his brothers. He was going to need some help and the twins, for some unusual reason, were good at calming people down.
Ron just nodded his head to his room, and they both nodded, knowing that Harry was going through a rough time. Quietly they followed their brother to Ron and Harry's bedroom and when they saw Harry on the bed they shared a meaningful look.
Fred sat down on the edge of Harry's bed near his head and gently placed a hand on the boy's back. "Harry?"
The boy turned his head to look at Fred and wiped away the tears that had fallen.
Reaching over, Fred gently wiped away the rest of the tears on Harry's face. "Hey, everything shall be fine."
"Sirius is going to hate me."
George came and sat down next to his twin. "Our parent's didn't start hating Charley when he told them."
Harry turned his head so he was looking at the wall again. "Yeah, but I have to be a perfect replica of my Father, and my Father wasn't gay."
Ron came up and pulled out the chair that was under the desk and sat down near his brothers. "The only person you have to be, Harry, is yourself. You know this."
The boy on the bed sighed and shook his head tiredly. "You know that's not true Ron. I have to be Harry Potter, Harry Potter the boy wonder, The Chosen One, The Boy who lived, and...freak."
The last part was spoken so quietly that only Fred head it because he was so close. Frowning he looked up from the boy on the bed and over to his brothers. Seeing their confused look he mouthed freak and sent a questioning look hoping one of them knew what Harry was talking about.
When he received shrugged shoulders and confused looks he looked back down at Harry. "Little brother who called you a freak?" Fred quietly asked.
Harry stilled for a moment, but then shook his head. "I...I don't know what your talking about."
Just as quietly Fred tried again. He knew this had been a bad year for Harry with Umbridge and everything else, but for Harry to think he was a freak...that was big...and he clearly thought that. It was the way he had spoken, as if it had been drilled into his mind. "Harry, I heard what you said. Who called you a freak?"
Anyone in the room could hear the falsity in that statement and it broke all their hearts. Brothers stood together through thick and thin, and seeing one in such defeat was heart wrenching.
George sighed and looked sadly down at his foster brother. "Did Umbridge call you that?"
Harry stilled for a moment, but then nodded glad that he had an out. He was not going to tell them about the Dursley's. He only had to stay there for a few more summers after all; he could stick it out. He wouldn't cause any more trouble for the Weasleys, because he wasn't worth it.
None of them believed Harry, but knew that now was not the time to push him. He was already in a state about telling Sirius that he was gay, and he didn't need any more stress. They would be addressing this later though that was certain. Maybe they could even enlist their parents to help. No one hurt their brother, physically or emotionally, and got away with it. Ron had learned that lesson the hard way when Harry's name had been pulled from the goblet and had gotten jealous. Fred and George pranked him relentlessly until he apologized to Harry.
Gently rubbing Harry's back Fred nodded his head. "Ok Harry, why don't we come with you when you tell Sirius. Let's get this over with."
Harry nodded. He had wanted to do this by himself, but now that he was feeling the pressure come down on his shoulders, maybe having his friends with him would make this easier. Slowly he sat up, and Fred and George tackled him into a big hug surprising him, but making him laugh all the same.
After a few moments, they let go so that Harry could compose himself. It was nice to see the boy laugh and smile, and they promised themselves they would make sure Harry laughed more this Christmas. They would make this his best Christmas yet for the younger boy.
Ron smiled. "There's the Harry I like to see."
George smiled and helped Harry stand up. "Your welcome little brother. Now let's go find Sirius."
The boy sighed, but nodded knowing that his foster brothers were right. If he didn't get this over with, he was going to dread every moment of this vacation and he didn't want that. For once in his life, he wanted to have a pleasant vacation away from school.
Ironically enough Sirius was just knocking on his door as the twins suggested they go find him. Looking at his friend's Harry sighed. "Looks as though we don't have to look very far."
George rested a gentle hand on Harry's shoulder. "Breathe Harry. We're here for you and always will be no matter what."
Harry nodded and quietly asked his Godfather to come in. Opening the door Sirius was confused to see half the Weasley children with Harry, but then knew that they were all close so they must have been unpacking together.
"Hey Harry, can we have a private chat?"
The boy in question looked at his friends and then looked at Sirius. He wanted his friends to be there, but he didn't want to disappoint his Godfather any more than he felt he was already going to.
So he stood back up and started walking to the door to his Godfather. "I'll talk with you later, guys."
Warily the three watched as Harry followed Sirius out of the room, but Ron was the one who rushed out the door and called for Harry. "Harry! Call if you need us alright?"
Harry turned around and nodded smiling gratefully at his best friend. Sirius frowned though, why would Harry need them?
Shrugging that thought away he put an arm around his Godson's shoulder and started to lead him to his own bedroom.
When they reached his bedroom Sirius steered Harry in and then shut the door behind him. He wanted to talk with Harry about how school was going and what pranks he was sure to be playing. He was just like James after all and he hadn't seen James in a while and wanted to catch up with his buddy. It was a shame Dumbledore wanted to keep him here and not at Hogwarts with James.
Sirius sat down on the bed next to Harry and gave the boy a large smile. "So how is school? Is Umbridge giving you too much trouble?"
Harry let a smile grace his face and let out a small breath. Everything would be fine; this was his Godfather. "School's been alright I guess. Although Umbridge is awful, she won't teach us anything about defense."
"And Dumbledore's not doing anything about it?"
Harry shook his head. "His hands are tied, because she's from the Ministry." Harry paused and took a breath. "Hey, I have a question for you."
Sirius smiled. "Shoot!"
Harry looked down at his hands and took a deep breath. Here goes nothing. "I was just wondering...what if I liked other guys? Is that ok?"
Sirius's face darkened considerably and his voice became as chilly as ice. "Your last name would not be Potter and you would not be my Godson. Potter's are not fags, it's unnatural."
The small boy took a deep breath and held in the tears that were threatening to spill down his cheeks. He would not show his weakness in front of his Godfather; he would be strong. Maybe, he could try dating girls again. Taking a deep breath Harry then said the hardest thing he had ever had to say in his life. "I guess it's good I'm not gay then. I was just wondering; some kids at school were saying that the Wizarding world was more accepting than the muggle world."
Sirius's face brightened back up into his normal smile and nodded. "Yes, the wizarding world is more accepting, but no Potter has ever been a fag. That means you can't be. It's not in your genes."
Harry took another deep breath and nodded letting out a wide fake yawn. "Well, I'm kind of tired. Maybe I should go take a nap. We'll catch up more later?"
Sirius reached out to pat Harry's shoulder, but he unconsciously moved out of the man's way. He felt so dirty and discussing, but he was more hurt at the moment than anything and he didn't want to be touched by the one who had hurt him even if they were just words.
"Sorry Sirius, I might be coming down with a cold and I don't want to give it to you."
The man nodded, but looked thoughtfully at Harry. The boy just ignored him and walked out of the room and to his own. He just needed to get away from the situation; he couldn't handle it.
When he reached his room, the twins and Ron were still waiting for him and looked up worriedly when they saw the beginnings of tears start to flow down his face.
"Guys, I...I think I need to be alone for a while."
The three boy's didn't move to leave though. Instead, Fred and George came to stand by either side of the boy and Ron sat back in his chair watching. He knew his older brothers were much better at this sort of thing. He was always such a dunce when it came to saying the right things to make Harry feel better.
Gently the two lead the boy over to the bed and closed the door to give all of them some privacy. As soon as they all sat down George wrapped an arm around Harry's shoulders and gently forced the boy's head down to rest on his shoulder.
"Didn't go well?"
Harry shook his head against the older boy's shoulder and then turned his head so that his face was burred in the soft material. Then, the tears came in rivers instead of streams.
Turning himself so that Harry's face was now resting on his chest, a much more comfortable spot, George looked at Ron and mouthed for him to get their Father. Harry didn't need his friends right now as much as he needed a parental figure who accepted him and that didn't seem as if it was going to be Sirius. In fact, Sirius was no longer anything in his eyes except another person who hurt Harry.
Harry sensed Ron's movements and feared the worse. He didn't want his friend to confront Sirius, because then his secret would truly be out, and nothing would ever be the same. He didn't want to be disowned.
From his spot on George's chest Harry turned his head and looked at Ron who was about to leave the room. "Please Ron."
His friend turned and looked at Harry with soft, concerned eyes. "I'm just going to get Dad, Harry. I promise I won't go kill Sirius, even though I want to with all my heart for hurting you." The boy knew that as much as they had joked about this past month that Harry did love his Godfather and did care about his opinion more than anything else. Him going and kicking that stupid man's arse would not help the situation, as much as he wanted to.
Harry nodded, but the tears kept falling, he just couldn't stop them. He didn't really know why, but for some reason a small part of him did wish that Ron would go and beat his Godfather up. He was so confused though, so was that just his emotions talking? They seemed to have been speaking and acting out for him more often lately. What with, the Graveyard last year, the Dursley's, Occlumency lessons, Dumbledore ignoring him, Umbridge and...well, everything else.
Ron made it to the door and then walked quickly to find his Father. His Father was still on the mend from the snake biting him, but he knew he would want to be there for Harry no matter what. He was his son after all and the man was always there for his children; no matter what.
Knocking quietly on the library's closed door, Ron waited for an answer hoping his Father was in there. His Father often came here to do work or just enjoy the quiet. After a few minutes, Ron was about to give up and look for his Father elsewhere, when the person he least expected opened the door.
Snape scowled down at him for interrupting his meeting and was about to scold him when Arthur came to the door looking concerned at his son.
"What is it Ron?"
The boy sighed in relief as he saw his Father, but then remembered his mission. "Harry needs you. He just tried to tell Sirius, and it didn't go too well."
The man closed his eyes, but then nodded. "Alright." He then turned to the man standing next to him. "I'm sorry Severus, but we'll have to continue this conversation later."
The man in question snorted. "Typical attention seeking Potter. What did he do this time? Get his little feelings hurt?"
Ron shot him a glare, but just turned to his Father choosing to ignore his teacher's taunts. There were more important things right now. "Do you think we should go to the Burrow?"
Gently Arthur placed a hand on his son's shoulder. "You know it's not safe for Harry there. I am sure we will figure something out son."
Curiosity peeked, Severus called out to the boy as Father and son started to walk away. He wanted to know exactly what was going on. It must be something if they were considering taking the brat from the mutt. Normally, the two were inseparable when they were together.
"Mr. Weasley. Stay here."
Both turned to look at Severus in mild confusion. Not really knowing which one he wanted to talk to, but also curious why.
"Go care for the brat Arthur. I need a word with your son."
Arthur looked at the other man and saw a rarity, Severus Snape showing any kind of emotion besides disdain. Even if it was curiosity, Arthur decided to try to get the man out of his shell that he wrapped himself in. Maybe it would be good for him to see that Harry was not whom he thought him to be.
Turning to his son Arthur gave him a small nod. "Stay Ron. You know how Harry is. He hates it when people see him like this and will kick you and whomever else is with him when I arrive."
Reluctantly Ron knew that his Father was right and nodded. He was also kind of curious what his teacher wanted with him.
Arthur again patted his son on the shoulder, and then left the two awkwardly standing in the hallway until Severus waved the boy to accompany him in the library.
Seated the two looked at each other sceptically and Severus wondered if this was really a good idea. How was he sure the boy wasn't going to lie to him or make up some story to protect his friend?
"Why did you come get your Father?"
The boy looked at the door, but then sighed and relented. "Harry is upset for good reason, and he needed an adult not his brothers."
"What did Potter do to make himself upset? Bang his little toe on the dresser?"
Clenching his fists Ron fought hard to keep calm and spoke through clenched teeth. He hated it when people made fun of Harry. "No, he did not."
"Then what did prince Potter do?"
Ron clenched his fists even tighter and had to remind himself to breathe. "He didn't do anything. You should be asking what was done to him."
Severus cocked an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"
Ron stood up and walked to the door, but before he left he turned around and gave Severus a hard look. "I promised to keep Harry's secret and let him tell people in his own time, but if you really want to know you should ask Sirius about their conversation. Even I don't know the full details."
Severus watched in somewhat of a shock as the boy slammed the door behind him giving him more than he really wanted to ponder on. He had wanted answers, not more questions to ask.
Sighing he stood up and opened the door once again, but this time to search for the mutt. He knew he should really mind his own business, but this involved Lily's child and no matter how annoying he found the boy he was still bound to protect him. At least, that was his excuse.
Walking down the hallway with his robes billowing behind him he started looking for the mutt, questioning all the way why the hell he was doing this.
Putting those thoughts aside for the moment Severus burst into Sirius's room and shut the door behind him ignoring the fact that the wolf was there too.
"What exactly did you and Potter discuss today?"
Sirius looked at his enemy confused, but then stuck his nose in the air and huffed. "None of your business, Snivellus."
Remus stepped between them though, and stopped Sirius from grabbing his wand. He knew something must be going on for Severus to be confronting Sirius like this and he wanted to know exactly what. Severus was not one to stick his nose into other's business without good reason.
"What did you say to him Sirius? I saw Arthur heading to his room awhile ago. Did you upset him?"
Sirius looked away. "I said nothing that wasn't true."
Remus narrowed his eyes at his friend. "And pray tell, what was that?"
The man shrugged his shoulders. "He asked me what would happen if he were a fag."
Severus's eyes widened as he looked at the remaining marauders. He knew from his sneaking around the school and over hearing the trio's conversations that Harry was going to come out of the closet this break. Was that why Potter upset?
He knew from past experiences with his snakes that coming out was not the easiest thing to do and saw just how much they hurt when their parents rejected them. It happened far too often for his liking and he would never understand those parents. Sure it was fine to be gay, just as long as it was not their son or daughter. He hated every single one of those parents who did that to their children. Had Black done the same to Harry?
That was unexpected. When had Potter become Harry? Must be a slip up, he tended to do that when his emotions were high.
Stepping forward Severus bypassed the wolf and grabbed the black haired man by the front of his shirt and pressed him up against the wall. "What did you say to him?"
Sirius gasped, why did Snape of all people care what he said to his Godson?
The man in all black was wondering the same thing, but then knew it was some sort of pet peeve of his when parents or guardians mistreated their children. And verbal abuse counted, because long after the physical wounds healed the mental ones were still there and even if they faded they never truly went away. He knew that from personal experience.
"What did you say?"
Sirius gasped again. "The truth, that he would not be a Potter or my Godson any longer. His Father was not a queer, so he cannot be either."
Severus let the man go making him fall to the floor with a thud and then turned to the door. He was having a hard time containing his anger. He had heard a lot of things in his years of teaching, but it got him every time when someone said that kind of thing to a child.
"You disgust me." Severus turned to the fuming Remus and was oddly satisfied to see the death glare he was giving his friend. "I will be in my office. Let the boy know if he does not want to be here after today that he is welcome to stay with me. Hogwarts is the only other safe place for him to be, and I will be the only one staying there for the break."
Severus scuffed at himself as he left the room. He didn't know what had come over him back there. Offering his sanctuary to the blasted boy. There must be something wrong with his head.
With that thought Severus disappeared through the floo to talk with Albus. He needed to know of everything that transpired, and he doubted Harry...Potter would not divulge any information concerning this.