Full summary: Bella Swan, an eighteen year old virgin, tired of her perfect life discovers more than she could hope to be true from her new, young and gorgeous English teacher Edward Cullen. But he has a secret lifestyle due to a troubled past which, through certain circumstances, Bella also joins. With a jealous and hateful ex intent on ending their relationship, will they be able to balance their personal lives whilst keeping the secret that could potentially destroy them both and perhaps even find love along the way? Rayed M for a reason!
So this is an idea that has been in my head for quite a while now. I was anxious to share it with the world, unsure of how it would be received, especially considering the way many amazing writers are being targeted for writing some truly awesome stories that are deemed to be "unsuitable" by the children trolling the fan fiction website. I am unsure whether this story will stay up here for long but I can promise that if it does get removed that I will move as quickly as possible over to TWCS (same penname.)
Thanks to my FUCK-AWESOME Beta - Vicky. You rock girl! Thanks for all the hard work you put into this perfecting this chapter and thanks for supporting all my ideas - even the crazier ones :)
"Isabella," I heard his oh so familiar voice coming from behind me.
I turned around to face him with wide eyes full of fire. How did he find me here? I stared at him with a frosty gaze, pressing my lips together to keep from replying. He didn't deserve anything from me anymore. Not a word, not a touch – he didn't even deserve me acknowledging him.
Real childish Bella
Oh now you are talking to yourself too. I knew you were close to losing it
"Bella please," I tried to ignore the way the sound of his voice sent shivers down my spine and shot lightening between my legs. The usually demanding intonation in his voice was camouflaged by another emotion and if I didn't know him better, I would have said it was remorse. I pushed that thought to one side. I was not going to let my emotions rule my life anymore. I have made that very mistake once before, not too long ago and the result was standing about two feet behind me. I felt shaky but held my ground and stood opposite him refusing to back down like I normally would – he did always say I had naturally submissive behaviour.
Don't think like that Bella. You don't feel that way anymore
Yep. You just keep telling yourself that
"Angel, please say something." No. He had no right to call me that ever again. I was not his faithful dog that would forgive him for anything. Has he not wounded me enough? Did he feel that he had to rub it in, remind me of what we would have had? No, could have had if he wasn't such a two-faced ass.
My anger got the better of me and I glared up into his expressive emerald eyes.
"What do you think I have to say to you," I sneered, "Edward, Mr Cullen… Master."
He flinched at my none too subtle reminder.
"You don't understand angel, I had to do it -"
"You had to do nothing!" I said with my voice raised in anger. If he wanted to sort things out, he shouldn't have sent me away and treated me like a pariah for months on end. If I wasn't bad enough already, he had to try to make pathetic excuses.
"But Bella I-" his voice cracked in a way I have never heard it crack before.
"No! I don't want to hear your excuses. Get out of my life. Just because no one would want your child-molesting ass doesn't mean you can ruin me again. Get your sorry excuse for a life out of mine! I want you gone now! I hate you!"
I expected a firm rebuke like the old times. I half expected him to bend me over his lap and spank me which I have to admit, would have been mildly arousing. Oh, who am I kidding? It would have been as hot as hell, but I wasn't in the mood for it, at least not anymore. The more logical part of me anticipated his icily clam voice, saved for when I was in deep shit with him. But nothing could have prepared me for what I did see.
Never before have I seen Edward Cullen cry. It felt like for a moment the Earth shifted on its axis and I entered the twilight zone. It was so wrong and instantly I felt a pang of guilt for my childish words as his salty, clear tears continued to roll over his high cheekbones to his sculpted jaw where they waited a second before dropping on to his pale blue shirt. He looked down and it reminded me of my submissive stance. A part of me wanted to collapse on to him and tell him I was sorry, that I didn't mean any of it and that I forgive him but I knew deep down I wouldn't – I couldn't.
"I never wanted to hurt you," he half choked out. "I couldn't do anything else. I know you don't believe me but I-"
I cut him off before he could finish the sentence, after all, how much damage could one heart take before it stopped beating.
"Well, I think you messed that up didn't you? How could you not mean to hurt me? What? Did you expect me to be all fine and dandy with it? You don't love me." I retorted.
"But… I-I do. I love you, angel…"
The words hung heavy and oppressive in the air between us a completely different atmosphere to the first time he said these words.
"Edward," I screamed as he gave me yet another mind blowing orgasm.
He thrust three more times, hard in quick succession before emptying himself into me with a groan. I felt the warmth of him fill me up and I closed my eyes in pure bliss.
He flopped on top of me for a second before rolling over to his side and pulling me across his chest. My body practically whimpered as he left me, I felt bare, exposed and most of all empty! The only thing fill me was his warm juices. We were both breathing heavily and for a moment I felt as though this is where I belong.
He placed three chaste kisses to the top of my head burying his nose into my hair which must resemble a bird's nest on top of my head.
"That was so amazing angel, so fucking amazing" he breathed onto my collarbone causing a blush to rise in my cheeks. It beats me how I can go from wanton sex goddess one minute to blushing school girl in a matter of seconds.
"Your blush is so beautiful," he growled. This of course caused me to flush even harder and a little more dampness between my legs to suddenly gather.
He pulled the covers up over us and I snuggled into his side breathing in his heady aroma and revelling in it.
Just before the darkness hit me, I heard the whispered words that I wanted to hear so desperately causing every fibre of my being to become so aware.
"I love you angel, so fucking much it hurts," he said.
I leant up on my elbow to look at his face. He looked so unsure of himself and my heart ached for him, knowing that he hasn't experienced as much love in his life as he should have done.
I quickly put him out of his misery
"I love you too Edward, Master, so fucking much," I panted at him, through my heavy breaths, causing him to laugh at my rare use of a cuss word.
"Go to sleep, my angel, my love, we can talk in the morning"
For the first in a very long time, everything was looking alright.
After about a minute, I finally responded, firm in my resolve once more
"If you loved me, you wouldn't have sent me away," I practically spat at him. "It's not like we never saw each other!"
"I told you Bella, I had to do it." At least now the tears had stopped although the stark contrast of the dark tear marks on his pale shirt was surreal.
"When were you ever one to obey other people," I asked with genuine curiosity. I lowered my eyes as though I wasn't bothered.
I thought I saw a brief flicker of amusement in his gaze but before I could over analyse, the moment had passed.
"I always do what I know is right Bella. It just so happens that this time, there was no other way and what was the right path was also the most painful…"
As if he knew anything about pain. I am just sure he was pining over me whilst fucking his thin, blond bombshell! In fact, he was probably doing that all the time, even when we had still our contract.
"Liar," I hissed. So he thought his actions were the right thing to do. Great, that makes me feel so much better.
Nice sarcasm there Bella
"Maybe you are right and I should have let you know sooner, but I did what I though was right… I did what I thought would protect you, angel."
There he goes again with the pet names. Each time he says it, it feels like someone has stabbed me with a white hot branding iron... or to be more n context, chained me to a whipping bench for twenty lashes on my ass with the cane. Only this is more painful.
"I am disappointed my angel," he told me whilst shaking his head.
I swallowed twice but my mouth was too dry. I knew what this meant and I was now seriously regretting my actions.
"I was going to be very nice today. You did so fucking well last night, I was going to reward you, give you pleasure you couldn't even imagine but now it looks like I'll need to change those plans and all because you couldn't keep your hands to yourself." He circled me slowly shaking his head at me as I stood there too scared to move. "Was it worth it, my angel? Did you really think I wouldn't find out?"
"I-, "I started to say
"Did I give you permission to speak," he roared at me.
I jumped in shock. He had never so much as raised his voice at me since I had been with him and I let out an embarrassing little squeak.
"You better go to your room to prepare and then get your ass into the playroom within the next five minutes or I will add an extra five lashings for every minute you are tardy," he told me with an icily cold tone.
He dismissed me and I ran to my room and hopped quickly into the shower. When he told me to prepare, I had no doubt that he wanted me to prepare as I was to do every evening before we 'played.' After giving myself a quick scrub and shaving all necessary body parts, I jumped out and pulled on my silk robe. I looked at my bedside clock which told me I had exactly thirty seconds to get up to the playroom. I was not going to make it.
I sprinted down the corridor mercifully not tripping over my own two feet. I threw open the door of the playroom and quickly knelt in my position hoping that he wouldn't notice that I was two minutes over time.
I gasped as a figure walked out of the shadowed corner of the room and lowered my eyes respectfully. Of course he had always been here. It was wishful thinking that though I may be able to spare my ass some extra whipping.
"Two minutes late Isabella," he tutted. "That means you get ten strikes for that on top of the ten I am giving you for touching yourself without permission. Your orgasms belong to me. Say it!"
"Yours, Master. They belong to you," I managed to choke out, well aware that I was for the first time to feel the bite of the cane in a less than pleasurable way. My very first chastisement from my master. The though sent a shiver down my spine and not a particularly good one. I knew he would go slightly easy on me due to my lack of experience and for that, I was grateful.
"Exactly, and you know it. So why did you do it Isabella?" he asked me.
In truth, I was picturing his glorious face as he came down my throat and remembered the way his cum tasted. Not the best in the world, salty and slightly tangy but pleasant none the less. Before I realised it, my hand was between my legs and pumping into me with such force as if it were my master's cock. I was seconds away from intense bliss when I realised what I was doing and stopped. I tried to go to sleep and pretend it didn't happen, but of course I couldn't fool my master. I wouldn't be telling him all that though so instead, I feigned ignorance.
"I know you are new to this angel, hence I am being easy on you. If you were an experienced sub, you would have at least thirty strikes for your behaviour." There. He just confirmed what I previously thought but the feeling was bittersweet for in his eyes, I had betrayed his trust and I felt I deserved whatever punishment he saw fit! But thirty strikes when I have more experience! I can't even picture that!
"I'm sorry Master"
"You'll be even sorrier once I finish with you! Get up Isabella, lose your gown and lean over the bench," he ordered whilst walking to the wall where he kept his whips, floggers and canes all lined up neatly
I started to breathe a bit heavier knowing that pain was approaching quickly.
"I know what you are thinking Isabella. Just remember that you can use your safe words and I will stop immediately. I will not cause you permanent damage but you need to learn your lesson. You have to trust me Isabella. Tell me now, are you going to accept this punishment?" he asked me. I knew that I had to do this to gain his respect again. I didn't like it when he was angry at me. "Twenty lashes and it will be over." That will be my mantra.
"Yes what?" He growled at me.
"Yes Master," I replied.
I jumped slightly when I felt his hand sooth lightly over my ass.
"Brace yourself," he said.
I heard a light whoosh as the cane flew threw the air before it resounded with an almighty crack on my backside causing me to scream out in Shit! Nothing could have prepared me for this!
"One," I managed to splutter out.
The cane came down again on the opposite cheek
"T-two," I said
The next time it came down exactly in the same place as the first one
"Shit! I mean three!" I yelled
"Tut-tut. Mind your language Isabella!"
On the seventh stroke, tears sprang to my eyes and by the time we got to half way, I was a blubbering mess
"I'm so sorry Master. I'll never do it again!" I told him. I wasn't past pleading.
"Do you want to use your safe word Isabella?" Did I? No. I wanted him to stop but I knew I deserved my punishment. I wanted to earn his forgiveness knowing that the sooner I was forgiven, the sooner we could move on to more… fun… things.
"Eleven," I sobbed whilst flinching in pain.
This went on until we finally reached twenty, a crisscross of red adorning my sore ass.
"Twen-t-ty," I cried.
He walked over to the wall and put the cane back in its allotted space before coming back to where I was sprawled across the whipping bench, in too much pain to move my muscles.
"You did very well Angel," he told me as he gently lifted me into his arms making me flinch as I unintentionally tensed my muscles and carried me down the hallway to his room, placing me face down on his bed. He went into his en-suite bathroom before appearing seconds later with a tub of cream.
He gently applied it to my sore ass, whispering words of comfort, telling me how well I had done.
After that day, I knew I would do just about anything to get my Master's approval 'cause I had no intention to repeat that experience!
"Protect me!?" My voice shot through two octaves. "You fucking cut me out Edward! How is that protecting me? You know what? I've heard enough. I want you to get out of my life – let me move on because the honest to God truth is that I just can't forgive you – ever." I knew the only sure-fire way to make him leave and it would cause him pain and he deserved every bit of it. I knew it but there was nothing else I could do. "Just like your parents"
The breath left him with an audible whoosh and he seemed frozen to the spot, a haunted and agonized look in his darkening eyes. I instantly regretted the snub. It did its job, but was that really worth the pain I just inflicted? I was one of the few people that knew the truth and never did I imagine using it to hurt him in any way.
Times have changed Bella. He hurt you first
But look at his face
He deserves it
The voice in the back of my mind was seriously beginning to piss me off. Why couldn't it keep its opinions to itself?
"You are right"
"No, Edward-"he cut me off with a raise of his palm.
"No," he said his voice rising, "you are right. I don't deserve love, from you of all people. If I truly deserved love, surely God would have given me parents who treated me right. I should have told you sooner and we could have fought it together. We could have had everything we ever wanted but I am such a fuck up I can't even keep the woman I love. And now it's too late."
Too late. His voice broke on the words and, as if in correspondence, my heart shattered a little more in my chest. If that was even possible.
"I'm sorry Bella that it had to be like this. I'll never interfere with your life again, trust me. Get married, get a good job and have beautiful children with a man who deserves you and can give you what you need. I will never stop loving you."
All this time, my face has been a blank canvas although I felt as though I was on the verge of collapse. I had often pictured us together raising a family. It was so difficult and painful to think of someone else in his place, a faceless man featuring in Edward's place in the fantasies I once hoped could come true. Like a naïve child, I believed that we could work. I believed in love. Now I find it hard to trust anyone.
I could feel my face contorting in agony as he turned and left the room. Whilst his words killed me, it was the lack of his presence which reduced me to tears. As though someone had turned off my ability to breath I let out a rasping gasp. I had felt this emotion building since the moment he found me in this room and if I'm honest, I couldn't believe I had lasted this long.
My legs eventually gave out after five minutes of supporting my shaking frame but the tears just kept coming, a never ending stream of hurt. I cried the for day he made me leave, I cried for the months of darkness in between, I cried for the tension I had caused between Edward and his brothers, I cried for the stress I had put on my best friends, I cried for today, for myself and I cried for Edwards past and present pain. I curled into a ball, holding my legs to my chest in an attempt to hold myself together. I wished an angel could scoop me up into their wings and carry me to the clouds so I could jump from them and end this misery.
I must have blacked out for it seemed like only seconds later when I felt to pairs of comforting arms slip around me. The only two constants in my life and two of the few people who know the truth. I looked up into their faces. I was about to say that I was fine but I was silenced by the look of both understanding and grief for my pain etched on to their faces and instead I was reminded of the look on Edward's face when I told him I hated him. I just cried harder fighting the blackness that tried to swallow me. They murmured soothing words in my ear, but that just brought back more memories of a time full of promises and possibilities.
I sat up in our bed, panting for breath with sweat pouring down my face.
"Bella, angel?" a soft voice crooned in my ear
I turned my head and buried it into his strong chest, his toned, muscular arms going around me… protecting me. He placed one hand on the small of my back and one arm wrapped around my shoulders.
"James," I managed to gasp out knowing that that one word would bring him recognition. It angered him to think about what had happened. I think he still blamed himself for not getting there sooner despite how much I tried to console him. At the moment I couldn't think about that; I just needed his warmth to engulf me. I needed him to tell me it was going to be alright. I needed him - period.
His arms tightened further around me and he rocked me from side to side whispering words of comfort to me
"You will always be safe with me, my angel. Never doubt that. He will never touch you baby. Never again. I let him comfort me; console me needing his words more than I would like to admit to myself.
A few minutes passed and I felt myself begin to drift off once more, almost into a state of sub-consciousness, safe in the cradle he created for me.
"Don't leave me Edward"
"Never," he promised
I gasped for breath through my tears. It felt as though my lungs had been filled with acid and I was waiting for the alveoli to dissolve, drowning me in my own blood. I think that pain would have been less than what I was suffering at the moment. Two more figures joined us but I was too far gone before I could identify them. This time when the blackness came, I did not fight it.
If I am lucky, I will not resurface.
Thank you for reading. Please R&R
I can't make any promise about updating schedules, my life is crazy at the moment but depending on how well this chapter goes down, I will work my ass off to get it out to you all :)