Scrooge's Treasure Island

The Real Thing

"Bless me bagpipes," exclaimed Scrooge, jumping from his large arm chair and tearing his newspaper in excitement.

"Is McDuck stock up again, sir?" asked Duckworth drolly, while continuing to polish a nearby table.

"Better than that, Duckworth," said Scrooge, waving the paper into Duckworth's face. "Read this!"

Duckworth glanced at the paper Scrooge was waving only a few inches from his nose. "Robert Louis Drakenson's Pirate Story ,Treasure Island, the Real Thing."

"You mean that the story is based on a real pirate treasure?" Duckworth said, incredulously.

"Yes . . . and No," said Scrooge. "It's not based on a real treasure, it's about a realtreasure. If you read the article, you'll find out that Drakenson met the real Jim Duckens when the latter was an old man."

"The cabin boy?" observed Duckworth. "The narrator of the story."

"Yes" said Scrooge. "With Duckens permission, Drakenson wrote out the story for the world to read. Just recently, a descendent of Duckens admitted as much to a reporter investigating the story."

"Yes sir, but what does this have to do with you? That treasure was recovered over 200 years ago."

"Are you daft man?" exclaimed Scrooge. "Have you never read the book? What did Jim Duckens say at the end?"

"Something about oxen and wain ropes not dragging him back to the "accursed" island," Duckworth said.

"Aye," said Scrooge. "Because he didn't want to go after the bar silver and arms Flint buried, and that the Hispaniola left behind."

"Is it worthwhile?" asked Duckworth.

"It is," said Scrooge. "The price of silver is high enough to justify the recovery. 200 year old pirate weaponry is also worth its weight in, well, not gold, but silver at least!"

Scrooge sighed.

"More than that," he continued, "Treasure Island is one of my favourite books, and it would be a dream come true to go after part of the treasure of Captain Flint!"

"But where is Treasure Island? asked Duckworth.

"I don't know" Scrooge admitted. "Even in the story, Jim Duckens refused to give the latitude and longitude. But we know what it looks like - the book has a map - and I'll find it if I have to get Launchpad to fly me over every square inch of the Carribean.

Scrooge, however, was not the only one after the arms and bar silver.

Far away, in Mount Vesuvius, Magica Despell cackled as she read her copy of Sorceress's monthly.

"Ah," she said. "This is too good. Even this smidgen of Captain Flint's treasure left behind by that calf of an English squire, that silly doctor, and stupid innkeeper's boy will make me, Magica, most powerful."

She waved up a copy of the book.

"Captain Flint, Billy Bones, Long John Silver, Pew, Black Dog, and the rest of them - what evil doings and foul deeds they committed to amass their treasure. It would be better to have the whole thing, true, but the bar silver and the arms - especially the arms - they bear the psychic vibrations of all the evil done in amassing the cache."

"Murder, piracy, mutiny, treachery, greed," Magica smiled at an illustration of Pew, the vicious blind man. "Ah dahlings, what evil you've imprinted on your treasure. Enough evil, if used properly, to fuel the spells I need to seize Scrooge's number one dime and rule the world!"

Note: In Home Sweet Homer, Scrooge begins the episode by describing Treasure Island as one of his favourite books. Given it was written by a Scottish author, came out when he was young, and featured a treasure hunt (though that's not where the main action lies), this is no real surprise.

I do not mean any disrespect for the great author Robert Louis Stevenson, lest anyone should get the wrong idea. The premise is basically, what if Treasure Island were true, and Scrooge and Magica decided to chase after what was left.