I never slept throughout the night. I stayed awake holding Christine in my arms never letting her go. I had too many thoughts about the baby run through my mind. Was I upset that she lost the child? Of course! I know that when she first told me that she was pregnant with our child I wasn't very thrilled about it. I just started to try and love this child. My feelings for the baby had grown. Now, the baby is gone. My heart is aching for the loss of our child. It almost hurts as bad when I had to leave Christine after our night beneath a moonless sky. Christine was so happy knowing she would have a child, our child. It breaks my heart knowing that Chirstine wanted this child more than anything and now she can't have it. Oh, how I wish she never had a miscarriage. I wish she was still pregnant so that we can raise our little boy or girl together as a family, one that I've never had. I will raise our next child to live a life I couldn't. I will give our child all the love and care he or she deserves. I will give that child all I can give!
It was almost noon when Christine had finally awoken.
I awoke in Erik's arms. I'll never get tired of waking up with his arms around me.
"Good morning, darling." he told me. I reached up and kissed him.
"Good morning, Angel." I said back.
"How did you sleep?" he asked.
"Not very well." I replied.
"Why is that?" he asked. I could tell he already knew why.
"You already know..." I said softly.
"Oh, I'm sorry Christine..." he said hugging me tightly. "I didn't sleep at all." he admitted.
"Mon ange, I wanted that child more than anything else in the world." I told him. Tears filled my eyes once again.
"I know you did, darling. I did too." he said kissing the top of my head.
"I'm sorry." I told him sobbing into his chest.
"What for, Christine?" he asked curiously.
"I know how much you finally started to care for our child and then I had a miscarriage." I said. Warm tears were streaming down my face.
"Christine, my sweet, this is not your fault. None of this is your fault." he said comforting me. "If anything it's our fault. We do everything together, remember?" he continued. "We are in this together and always will be. You are never alone in anything, my dear. We are partners in everything we do. Now, please darling, do not blame yourself." he told me.
"I'm sorry, my love. I just can't help but know it's my-" I tried to say.
"It is not your fault, Christine. If it's someone's fault, it's ours. Don't only blame this on yourself, my dear." he said cutting me off. He took a deep breath before saying, "I know you are very upset about the loss of our child. I am too, Christine. We will get through this together. I promise." he said.
"Erik, I miss our child." I told him softly.
"I know, darling, but things happen for a reason." he sighed.
"What reason is good enough to lose our child?!" I exclaimed.
"Maybe it was to prepare us, mostly me, for another child. Maybe it was to bring you back to me. Or maybe it was to bring us closer together as a couple, a married couple. Christine, maybe it is not time yet for us to raise a child, but I promise you one day we will have a beautiful baby." Erik said calmly.
Myabe he was right. Maybe this did happened for a reason. After all, he did have some good reasons.
"Maybe you are right..." I confessed.
He laughed. "When am I not right, Mademoiselle?" he questioned sarcastically. A smile formed across my face and let out a brief giggle. "That's the beautiful smile I absolutely adore seeing." he said sweetly. He hugged me tighter.
"Even at my darkest moments you always find a way to make me smile." I said reaching up and kissing him and cuddling back into his chest.
"I'm so glad I can make you smile, my dear." he said. "Now, I will go make you breakfast. Stay right here and do not move." he said kissing my forehead then walking out into the kitchen.
He was only gone a few minutes and I was bored. How am I suppose to staying in bed for two weeks? These next two weeks are going to be a lot harder than I thought.
Erik came in a few minutes with my breakfast. I sat in bed and silently ate.
When I was finished I handed him the plate and he put it in the sink and returned back to the bedroom.
"I am not going to be able to stay in bed for the next two weeks." I told him leaning on his shoulder.
"Oh, yes you are. You are not aloud to move from this bed until you are healed." he said seriously.
"It's going to get so boring staying in bed all the time." I complained.
"Christine, if you want to heal and be able to have a child again you must stay in bed." he told me.
"What am I suppose to do in bed for two weeks?" I questioned.
"Just relax, Christine. Maybe you could read a book." he answered.
"You have answers to everything, don't you?" I smirked.
"I am a genius, am I not?" he chuckled.
"My genius." I said kissing him intimately.
"Christine." he said backing away and raising a brow.
"Sorry..." I blushed. I kissed him one last time and leaned back on his shoulder. "May I take a bath?" I asked him.
"Christine, I don't know if you should..." he answered.
"Please, Angel? I really need to get washed up." I begged.
"Oh, fine." he told me. I started to move out of bed carefully. "Christine, no!" he told me rushing to my side of the bed. "Christine, you aren't aloud to move. Let me help you."
He carried me in his arms into the bathroom. He sat down on a stool and placed me on his lap. He turned on the faucet and let the tub fill up with warm soapy water.
"Do you need help getting undressed?" he asked.
"I-I think I do." I said embarrassed.
"Christine, darling, don't be embarrassed. I am your husband, remember?" he told me. I giggled. "Would you like me to help you?" he asked.
"Yes, please." I answered shyly.
He stood up and placed me back on the stool. He carefully took off my nightgown and then my undergarnments.
I was now sitting on the stool in my bare skin. My face was now crimson red.
"Oh, Christine, I'm so sorry!" he said picking me up and gently placing me in the warm soapy water.
"No worries, Angel. It's alright." I said looking away from him.
"Chrisitne, why do you seem so shy?" he told me. He shut the bathroom door and sat down on the stool next to the tub.
"I'm not..." I said quietly.
"Christine, you can't lie to me. You were never shy those nights we made love." he told me. He grabbed my hand that was hanging over the edge of the tub. "Why are you being so shy now?" he questioned.
"Well, because, that's exactly why." I pressed my eyes shut and took a deep breath. "You've only ever seen my bare body is when we make love." I said shyly.
"So why are you hiding your body from me? Christine, this isn't making sense to me." he said trying to keep calm.
"Erik, I can't explain it. I-" I tried to say.
"Yes you can explain it, Christine." he said angrily. He started to lose his temper.
"I am shy, Erik! I always have been! It might not seem that way, but I am. The first time we made love I was nervous. I didn't want to show you my bare body." I took another deep breath and tried to relax. "I am not as afraid of showing you my body when we make love, but this is different. We aren't making love. I'm just...bare." I sighed.
"Christine, there is no reason to be shy. The human body is a wonderful thing." he told me calming down. "And your body, my love, is pure perfection." he continued. He caressed my cheek and said, "You are so beautiful."
"Thank you, mon ange." I said softly.
"You wash up and call me when you need me." he told me walking out of the bathroom. "Oh, and Christine, please don't be shy with me anymore. I am your husband, darling." he told me. I nodded and cleaned myself.
When I was finished I called for Erik.
"Erik, I am finished!" I yelled.
A few moments after I yelled for him he came rushing in. He picked me up out of the tub and started to walk out of the bathroom.
"Erik, I'm bare, where is my towel or my clothes?" I asked giggling.
"Your towel is on the bed." he told me.
"Darling, I'm getting you all wet." I said continuously laughing.
"No worries, sweetheart." he chuckled.
My towel was laying on my side of the bed. He gently placed me on my towel and wrapped me in it. When he finished wrapping me in my towel he laid beside me. I placed my hand on his chest, but I quickly recoiled my hand feeling that his shirt was wet.
"Oh, Erik...I am so sorry for getting you wet." I said. He moved closer to me.
"Well, I have an idea or two for you to repay me." he said to me. We both turned on our sides and looked at each other.
"Now, what are the ideas, darling?" I said smirking.
"Well, you can buy me news clothes..." he told me smiling evilly. I playfully hit him. "or you could kiss your loving husband who is dying to taste your lips." he continued.
"Hmmm...What size shirt are you?" I asked him jokingly. He laughed.
"Come here." he said to me. He placed his hand on my back and moved me closer to him.
"Careful." I whispered in his ear.
"I will, my sweet. Now kiss me." he commanded.
I kissed him continuously. I took his drenched shirt off of him and threw is to the ground. His hands feverishly ran up and down my body as mine did to his bare chest. My towel unraveled without me knowing until Erik caressed my thigh and ran it up the side of my body. My body ached for him, but I know I couldn't. If I did I could risk injuring myself and risk not being able to have another child. I backed away shamefully and wrapped myself back into my towel.
"My darling, what's wrong?" he asked. He placed his hands on my hips and pulled me closer and placed his forehead against mine.
"I want you...so bad, mon ange..." I said breathlessly.
"As do I, Christine, but you know we can't." he said.
"I know, my love...I know." I said sadly.
"I guess you'll have to wait to repay me until then." he said letting out a chuckle. I giggled. "Let's put on your nightgown, shall we?" he asked.
"Yes, that would be nice." I said smiling. He walked over to the dresser and took out a clean nightgown and came over to my side of the bed.
He carefully helped me sit up and took off my towel. He glanced over my body.
"You are so beautiful." he said leaning over my body. He kissed my collarbone up to my lips making sure there wasn't a spot left untouched.
"Erik..." I groaned. He kissed me once more on the lips then helped me into my nightgown.
"I will go make you some soup and then we shall try and sleep." he kissed my forehead and left the bedroom.
Minutes later he came in with my soup. I ate it fairly quickly and then handed it back to him to take into the kitchen.
He came back into the bedroom and dressed into his night attire.
When he was done getting changed he laid next to me and I cuddled up to him.
"This is going to be really hard keeping my hands off of you, my lovely wife." he told me.
"Indeed it is, my love." I agreed.
"Why are you so beautiful?" he asked laughing.
"You are such a charming man." I said laughing with him.
"Christine, you need rest. Sleep, my darling." he whispered.
"Goodnight, mon ange...You need your rest to. Please try and sleep tonight for me." I told him.
"I will, I love you, sweetheart." he said sweetly placing a gentle kiss on my lips.
"I love you too, Erik." I kissed him one last time.
He held me tight in his embrace as I did to him and fell asleep in my dear husband's arms once again...