Hey I'm back with a whole collection of Oneshots about Leo Valdez and The Quest To Ruin Everyone's Romantic Moments onboard the Argo II. Him and Coach have a plan to make the most memorable smoochy moments less smoochy and more MOMENT
moment meaning LEO STEPS IN AND MAKES THINGS AWKWARD
So let's start off from the top of the list: The Beatles!
Disclaimer: Well obviously i am not a full-time troller, and only part time, and I am not the All time Trolldian but just Universal. SO ME NO OWN UNDERSTANDO OKEY GOOD NOW GOGOGOGOGOGOGOGgogogogoogogo gogogogogog
JASON X PIPER - I
Jason felt like he was dreaming. The sky was a soft caramel color, and the wind was calm and soothing as it whistled off the deck. The water lapped calmly beneath him, and even the unfortunate upchucks from Hazel below deck couldn't faze him from feeling so...at ease.
"Enjoying the view?" Piper slipped her hand into his, and threaded her fingers so they were woven between his. Jason only closed his eyes and smiled, wishing he could freeze the moment and keep it like a picture- so he wouldn't lose it, and look back on it for bad days.
"It's so...peaceful." Jason said. "No attacks. No monsters."
"Yeah, but with our luck, in five minutes the ship will flip over," Piper brushed his shoulder, and sent electric tingles down Jason's spine. "Or something will eat Leo."
Jason sighed. "Would we have to save him?"
"Yes, Jason, we would."
"...Would we have to do it immediately?"
"Jason," Piper scolded, but she sounded like she was trying not to laugh. "He's our friend." Jason opened his eyes again and stared directly at the sun, trying to burn a hole right through his retinas. "You were joking though...right?" Piper asked, but she sounded uncertain.
"Of course," Jason answered, but the smile he flashed to her was teasing, so she could never know for certain. "I was just wondering when I get to spend time with my awesome girlfriend, somewhere in that schedule."
He could feel her blush. "Oh." She said, sounding embarrassed. "How about now?"
The thing about Piper was that she never had good pick-up lines or special reasons for a kiss, she just did it when she wanted, which was fine by Jason.
He turned towards her slowly, watching her kaleidoscope eyes dance with colors from the sun, casting long shadows that looked like trees in the water with orange tops; Maybe like a field of tangerine trees. The sky seemed almost invisible and unimportant as Jason leaned in...
He felt a swift breeze peddling past him, and the slightest faint sound of a guitar being strummed. The water seemed to flow more sharp, like the boat was gently nudging the bank of a river.
He could feel her breathing and was about to kiss her, when suddenly he was interuppted by someone singing loudly in his ear: "PICCTURREE YOURRSEELLF ON A BOAATT BYYY A RIIIVVAARRRR-" In a twangy texas croon that made Jason go into alert mode and almost topple off the boat.
The source of the noise turned out to be Leo, who was hanging upside down from a loose sail, strumming a tiny ukulele while singing more "WITTTHH TANGERINEE TREESS AND MARMALADEEE SSKKAAAAIIIESSSS-" and plucked the tiny instrument so forcefully one of the strings snapped. "SOMMEBODDYY CALLSS YOUUU, YOUUU ANSWER QUITE SLLLOooOOWLLLYYYY; A GURRRLLL WIIAAATTHHH KALLLEEEIIIIDOSCOPEEEE AAAYYyyyYYYEEeeESSSssSsSS-"
"Valdez!" Piper complained, while her face was bright red. Jason felt like someone had put his face dangerously close to a bonfire, and he was heating up and probably turning pink.
Leo strummed the Hawaiian instrument more furiously and spread his arms out like a rockstar. "PPPIIIPPPERR IN THE SKKAAYYYY WITTHHH DIAAAMOOONNDSSS, PIPPPPERRR IN THE SKKAAAYYYY WITTTHHH DIIAAAMOOONNDSSS, AAAAAAaaaaaaAHHHhhhhHHHH, OOHH WAAAAAaaaaaaaAAHHHHHHHHHH-"
"AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaHHHHHHHH HHhhhhhhhhhhhHhhhhhHHHHhHH-" Leo sang even louder and the pitched dropped in random intervals in high and lows until Jason's ears were about to bleed in a fury of Valdez Tonedeafness.
Piper took his arm and they walked down the stairs to the lower deck together, trying to ignore Leo's drone of 60's Rock.
"Way to ruin the moment, Valdez," Piper muttered as she plopped down on a beanbag in the mess hall room under the upper deck.
Leo's face flashed in from the port window. "That's what I'm here for, Beauty Queen." He gave her a cheeky grin, slammed the port window, and flew off like a trapeze artist in a white cape while emitting more strangled plucks from his ukulele and imitating Sir Paul.
Jason sighed. With Valdez on board, all couples were doomed for mortal embarrassment and harassment from the one and only single guy with them. He was starting to regret bringing both Leo and Coach Hedge aboard- the two of them would team up and make the lives of being in a relationship miserable.
As for Leo, on the top deck; He scratched off a checklist of "The Best Ways to Ruin Romantic Moments W/ Company and Friends."
"Holy Hephaestus," Leo muttered as he scanned down the list. "Festus, we got work to do."
Hey, I have some ideas, but I plan to do lots of chapters with random JasonxPiper, or PercyxAnnabeth or FrankxHazel or really I'll do any pairing, Bromance or OTP or WHATEVAH but I WILL NOT TAKE OCs OR COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS NON-CANON SHIPS LIKE...HERAxPERCY JUST NO GOD PLEASE NO
:DDDDD Suggest Plsss and Review and I'll give you a blue cookie with BLUE ICING AND SPRINKLES :DDD AND A BLUE PANCAKE HAPPY HOLIDAYS HEHEHEHEE
~ universal ~