The Mystery of Monster Mayhem

By Catherine Keena

People say that Sherlock Holmes is a great detective. Some even go further to say that he is the best in the world. It is rumored that he had never failed to solve a case or failed to catch the criminal responsible. However, I doubt that even Sherlock Holmes ever had a case like this one. It was towards the end of October and several famous monsters in history had become the victims of a stalker who began stealing items of importance from them. Seeking help and unable to locate the famous Sherlock Holmes the monsters settled for me, an unknown, small town private eye. If people were to read about this case they would think it had come out of some science fiction novel or film but I assure you that it was anything but a fairy tale. I think I shall file the case as the Case of Monster Mayhem.

My day started out like any other day it was slow going and not much excitement. As the day slowly passed I began to try to come up with things to keep me busy. I paced around the office hoping, praying that I would get a case. I hadn't had a case in weeks or was it months? In fact I couldn't remember the last time I had a real case. I had a few small jobs over the last few weeks however, these jobs are not really worth mentioning. They were never challenging enough and I often felt that my talents were wasted on these simple tasks. These odd jobs rarely paid much in fact; they hardly paid anything at all. I looked up at the clock that was hanging on the far side of the office it was almost six thirty and I doubted that I would have any clients before closing up the shop for the night so I kicked up my feet and pulled my hat over my face to relax. I was almost asleep when He stumbled through my door. I knew that he was going to be trouble as soon as I saw him. he looked like he had just walked out of an old horror movie. He was dressed in shabby clothes, had a hunched up back, only one good eye and walked with a limp. Something told me that I didn't even want to know what he wanted.

I hoped that he was simply lost and had stopped by my office for directions. However, my hopes were dashed as he scurried up to my desk and asked in an eerie sounding voice "Is this the office of the privet eye Detective Catherine?" I barley looked up from under my hat and replied, "Depends on who's asking."

"My name is Egore, and I was instructed by my Master Dr. Baron Von Frankenstein to hire a detective for a very important case since I was unable to locate the famous Sherlock Holmes I looked up the closest agency and this was the only one I could find.

I was not in the mood for practical jokes and replied; "Sorry kid but I don't solve cases for fictional characters.

"I assure you that monsters exist, if you know where to look for them. My master and the other famous monsters in history are in desperate need of your services and they are willing to pay and arm and a leg."

Look Mr. Egore, I have real cases to solve I don't have time to waste on movie loving teenage pranksters. Why don't you make an appointment with my secretary I'm sure she can pencil you in around Halloween until then there's the door. The office is now closed. Good by.

This really aggravated Egore and he looked me right in the face, I tried to be nice, I even tired to be sociable for once but you still insist on being hardheaded. I don't have time to convince you that monsters are real and that this is not a prank, if you are Detective Catherine then you are hereby hired in the name of Dr. Baron Von Frankenstein! I must insist that you be ready to leave for Transylvania. I will pick you up from your apartment in precisely one hour. Make sure you are packed and ready to leave by the time I arrive I do not want to miss the plane. Before I could get a word in he left.

By the time I arrived home it was 7:15. I still thought that the strange man in the office was some kind of prankster however; I decided that I did not want to dismiss the possibility that it might be an actual case. To my surprise Egore arrived at my apartment at precisely 7:30 and was pleased to see that I was ready to leave.

I see that you finally decided to cooperate my Master will be pleased. We made it to the airport at 8:25 and we hurried to where our plane was to take off. We quickly bordered the plane and much to my surprise we had first class seats. I sat in my seat and relaxed. The flight was a restful one and I got to Transylvania in no time. When we arrived in Transylvania Egore disappeared without a trace. I began to wonder why I had even agreed to take the case. Transylvania is all that Hollywood makes it out to be. It looks like a very creepy place from the moment you get off the plane. Transylvania was dark and damp and was down right eerie. There were swirling mists, dark deserted roads and dark damp forests that seemed like they held some deep dark secret of long ago. It seemed like the sun never shown and fun was the least of everyone's worries. The inhabitants of Transylvania were as odd as the surroundings. They kept to themselves and now and then muttered words of foreboding terror. When questioned about how I might find my way to Frankenstein's castle they eyed me with suspicion and left me with words of warning. When they realized that I would not be persuaded to change my mind they reluctantly pointed me in the direction I needed to go. I thanked them for their concern and kindness and then headed in the direction they had shown me.

I had only gone a few miles when I realized that the sun was setting. However, I was not going to let the setting sun stop me from reaching my destination. I was about to continue on my way when from out of nowhere a young man appeared. He insisted that I go no further. "It is not safe for anyone to travel these roads alone at night. Monsters are everywhere and take advantage of weary travelers." I told him that I that I really needed to reach my destination as soon as possible and that I did not believe in monsters. When he continued to insist that it was too dangerous to travel alone at night I asked where the nearest hotel was located. He insisted that I stay with his family as the nearest hotel was back in town. Realizing that I would never be able to dissuade him I agreed. His house was not far and I could smell good food cooking.

His house was small but had two floors. When we came into the house the boy's father greeted us. The boy's father was big and had large muscles and a stern looking face. His eyes were a fierce brown and his eyebrows were huge and bushy. He had a long sleek mustache and a big bushy beard. The boy only said one word: tourist. The father smiled and replied "not to bright these tourists." It was getting late and I decided to turn in, I bid my host's goodnight and headed for the stairs.

As I was heading up the stairs my host's wife gave me this warning, "Make sure to travel by day for the woods are full of monsters looking for pray. Frankenstein's castle is a long and hazardous journey and if you are not careful you could wind up missing. Have a good night Detective. I'm sure that your case will be a baffling one."

Her words troubled me and made me a little uneasy. I could not figure out what had made me so upset. I thought it over as I got ready for bed. Then it hit me, she had called me Detective and knew where I was headed. How had she known? I didn't recall mentioning anything to her. I lay awake for hours trying to figure everything out. Why were people acting so strangely? How did people know who I was? Why were they determined to stop me from continuing to my destination? This truly was a weird place.

Around midnight I heard someone tapping on my windowsill. It was man who's skin was as pail as the moon. His hair was as black as ebony and his lips were as red as blood. He was floating in mid air and was dressed all in black and wore a blood red medallion around his neck as he spoke the words "Good evening" I knew that he must be Count Dracula. Knowing that he could hypnotize me into inviting him in I refused to look him directly in the eyes. When he asked if he might come in I told him that I did not have the right to invite him. Bowing respectfully he replied "I can see that you do not trust me. You have my word that I will not harm you."

"I can not endanger the lives of my hosts by inviting you in, please just state your business and be on your way."

"As you wish" he replied as he once again bowed to show respect. "I am in need of your service my blood red signet ring is missing. With out this ring I am as powerful as a newborn vampire, please find it for me."

Are you sure that it was not misplaced?

"It was not misplaced; it has been stolen by someone who claims to be my biggest fan. Please say that you will investigate this theft. I would be eternally grateful and I give you my word as a Count that no vampire shall harm you as long as you live.

I shuddered at the thought. My mind was screaming don't trust him! Not wanting to offend him I replied "I am currently in the pay of Dr. Frankenstein. There seems to be some sort of problem at his castle. However, I will discuss it with him and see if it is alright if I work on your case at the same time.

"That should not be a problem. Dr. Frankenstein and I are very good friends and again I am eternally grateful to you for your services. Have a good evening Detective."

I awoke the next morning wondering if my conversation with Count Dracula had been a dream. After bidding my host's goodbye I returned to my journey. The sun was once again setting by the time I reached Castle Frankenstein. Hearing a wolf howl I rushed through the gates, which slammed shut behind me. Not wanting to be rude I rang the doorbell. Its ring sounded like someone screaming. Egore opened the door with a smile. "We've been expecting you, please follow me.

He led me to a room lighted only by the glow of the fireplace. Two chairs sat near hearth and I could tell that the chair on the left side of the hearth was occupied. With out a word the person in the chair waved their hand towards opposite chair. After I was seated my host commanded Egore to leave us. Egore bowed respectively and uttered the words "As you wish Master."

"Welcome to my castle Detective. My name is Dr. Barron Von Frankenstein. I trust you had a comfortable journey?"

"I don't mean to sound rude but would you please tell me what is going on?"

"Certainly. You see I have lost something of real importance; or rather someone of extreme importance was stolen from me."

"I see. May I ask why you did not allow Egore to know any information about the case?"

"Egore is not that bright, he tends to forget or mix things up quite easily. I have tried to teach him a thing or two but it goes in one ear and out the other. Now where was I?

"You were telling me that you have had something of importance stolen from you.

"Ah, yes. My violin that helps to keep Frankie better known to you as Frankenstein has gone missing. This wouldn't be much of a concern however; recently Frankie's wife disappeared without a trace. We believe that she has been monster napped. He has been going crazy ever since. He won't listen to reason and if she is not found soon I'm afraid that he might do something rather rash. The other items that were stolen were Count Dracula's blood red signet ring."

"So it wasn't a dream."


"Oh nothing really, it's just I had a conversation with Count Dracula last night. He offered me protection from his minions as well as a large some of money if I might locate his ring. I told him that I would have to talk to you about taking his case."

"I don't see any reason why you shouldn't. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if Dr. Jeckle, and King Tuttenstine seek your services. You see, the Count, Frankenstein and I are not the only monsters to have things stolen from them. Dr. Jeckle's antidote has been stolen, so he remains the awful Mr. Hyde and King Tuttenstine's book of the dead and the tablet with his curse has been stolen. My good friends Eric better known as the Phantom of the Opera, the Wicked Witches of the East and West, the invisible man and Woofie commonly known as the wolf man are all afraid that they will be hit next."

"I see. Have you contacted the local authorities about these thefts?"

"Most certainly not! The locals find us scary and are only good at creating angry mobs. Besides they wouldn't help us even if we begged them to, No, its best that we get help from a privet eye and not those who seek our destruction. Perhaps I should have contacted Sherlock Holmes like Dracula suggested instead of an ammeter."

"I assure that although I may not be as good as Sherlock Holmes I can solve your mystery. Were there any clues left at the crime scenes?" Before Dr. Frankenstein could answer an earsplitting howl pierced the night. The Dr. jumped up and ran out of the room. I followed him and came face to face the wolfman. He took one look at me and started growling. Luckily the Dr. distracted him with questions.

"Wolfie what's with the earsplitting noise? It's not like you to howl when the moon is not reached its high point in the sky."

"Someone has kidnapped little wooolfie. Ooooooooooo I want my son! whooo kidnapped my son? " It was at that time that Wolfie once again noticed me. "Who are you?" He snarled. I'm sure he would have attacked me if Dr. Frankenstein hadn't stepped in and introduced us.

"This is Detective Catherine. She is here to find out who has been stealing all of our stuff. I could tell that he still wasn't convinced that I was to be trusted so I showed him a picture of me with my dogs. When he saw my dogs sniffed me again he sniffed me up and down and then began to wag his tail. "I guess yoourr ok after all but I'll be keeping and eye on yooou."

"Wolfie, are you sure that your son has been kidnapped?"

"Yooou mean dooognapped? I found this in his roooom." Wolfie handed me a piece of paper that read as follows, "If you ever want to see beloved son again then I suggest that you admit that you are not as scary as you think sincerely your Biggest Fan!" Were they're any of these left at the other crime scenes?"

"As a matter of fact there were. With that the Dr. handed me a folder with letters. Each letter read as follows, Dear Dr. Frankenstein, you think that you are so special because you can control your creations? Let's see you control that fool Frankenstein with out your violin. "Dear Frankenstein, you think that you are sooo smart loosing your temper to get what you want but you don't have half the brain I do. If you ever want to see Ms. Frankenstein again then you'd better think twice about how you treat me, sincerely your Biggest Fan! Dear Count Dracula, You all ways seem to avoid Dr. Van Helsing lets see if you can avoid becoming a pile of ash without your ring to hide you from him, sincerely your Biggest Fan! My dear King Tuttenstine, you think that you are so special because you were once a king. Let see how special you are without your sacred book of the dead and your tablet that holds your famous curse, sincerely Your Biggest Fan. Dear Dr. Jeckle, you think that you can hide your other side from the world? Let's see you try to hide him with out your precious formula, sincerely your biggest fan!

"What do you make of this Detective?"

Before I could answer we were interrupted by the sound of the phone ringing. As the Dr. answered each call my case began to get stranger and stranger. With in the last few hours someone had stole the wicked witch's or the East's ruby slippers, the wicked witch of the west's crystal ball and the invisible man's bandages and clothes.

With this news I decided that the best thing to do was to call all of the victims together to see if any of them had anything in common. It did not take long for all involved to arrive and everyone sat down at the table. Except one monster who preferred to stay in the shadows. I'm sorry for not being sociable but I prefer to remain in the shadows.

Don't be ashamed of your appearance Eric. No one will judge you here you are among friends.

I am in the presence of a beautiful lady. I dare not show my face for it may frighten her. How will I ever be able to instruct the beautiful Christine now? I pray that whoever is responsible for causing me such misery will not show his face. I am feared not because of my hideousness but because of my temper. This thief mocks me in more ways then one for he dares to leave me a letter with instructions! The great Phantom of the Opera takes orders from no one! "It reads and I quote, you think your special, writing letters to get what you want. Well two can play that game. Do you really think that you can pass yourself off as an angel? Do you think that Christine will still love you when she sees you for what you really are? You are a monster both on the inside and outside! I was your biggest fan and you taunted me from behind your mask. If you want to be able to continue your masquerade as the angel of music then I suggest that you humble yourself and apologize for your horrid behavior, sincerely your Biggest Fan!

The reason that I called you here is because you all have something in common. After each theft a letter was left. First it was Frankenstein, and then Doctor then it was the Count and the wolfman and now all of you. May I see the letters please? The Wicked Witches letters read: you claim to be the wickedest and most powerful witches ever, yet you are no wicked then I am, in fact you are powerless without your ruby slippers and crystal ball, sincerely your biggest fan. The invisible man's letter read you think you are good at scaring people with your disappearing act? Let's see you pull your disappearing act without your bandages, sincerely your biggest fan.

"After reading all of your letters I know without a doubt the person responsible for the thefts. Each letter is signed your Biggest fan, who do you all have in common? Who has worked with you all? Who has never been considered to be a monster only a sidekick or worse a slave?"

The monsters looked at each other then replied, "Sorry, were drawing a blank."

"Egore is the thief."

There was a silence and then Doctor Frankenstein replied, "That is not possible Egore. Doesn't have a… before he could finish his sentence Egore appeared out of nowhere.

"I don't have a what? Go on finish your sentence. Never mind, I'll finish it for you! I don't have the brains."

"I was going to say that you don't have disloyal bone in your body."

"The Detective is right I am the thief. I am tired of you treating me like I'm your slave."

"That's ridiculous we treat you like you are family, in fact I treat you better than I treat my own son."

"You treated me like one of your creations who can't think for themselves as for the rest they treated me like a slave who was lower than the dirt."

"Egore what you have done is unforgivable; from now on you are dead to us. You shall be forever exiled known forever as neither monster, assistant, friend, nor slave. You will not exist to us you shall be lower then the dirt upon which we tread."

"Wait! Before you pass judgment I think that you should be aware that Egore wasn't working alone he had an accomplice."

"That's a lie! I worked alone."

"Here are the facts Egore, there are two sets of handwriting in the notes that were left after each theft. One set of handwriting belongs to you the other your accomplice. You and your accomplice both have all ways only one thing, to be treated like real monsters, to be treated as equals. However, every time you requested to be considered monsters they denied you that title. That is when you decided to teach them a lesson in humility by stealing things that made them monsters. After all, they deserved it after the way they treated you. You promised your accomplice that if you were caught that you would take the blame for he was not willing to take the punishment from his "Master"."

"Are you saying that Renfeild had something to do with these thefts" said Count Dracula frowning.

"Count, Renfeild had nothing to do with the thefts. In fact Renfeild tried to talk me out of what I was doing more than once."

"Renfeild has never been able to lie to me we shall see if you are telling the truth or trying to protect him. Renfeild get in here at once!"

"You called Master?" Renfeild asked bowing before the Count with his face to the floor.

"Tell me Renfeild, are you loyal to me?"

"I would never betray you Master I will be loyal to you until the end of time!"

"You know how I hate to be lied to Renfeild, look me in the face and tell me that you had nothing to do with these thefts."

Trembling with fear Renfeild shook his head. "No"….

"Look at me Renfeild!" Dracula ordered. Bowing his head Renfeild obeyed and looked Dracula directly in the eyes. "Tell again Renfeild, did you betray me?"

At this Renfeild began to weep uncontrollably and fell at the Count's feet. "Forgive me Master." Renfeild begged as he began kissing the Count's feet. The Count raised an eyebrow but before he could say a word Egore pulled Renfeild to his feet. "Get up off the floor. Why are you apologizing to him? He should be begging you for forgiveness not the other way around!"

"That's right! What was I thinking? You have treated Egore and I like garbage for too long! You never give us credit for anything. You hog the entire spotlight in movies. We have always been treated like slaves. It was always yes master, right away master, as you wish master were you grateful? Of course not! Nothing we did was ever good enough for you. It was always must I do everything myself? Or, I ask you to do a simple task but as usual you can do nothing right. I guess you can't get good help these days. We have taken this abuse for years and said nothing. Now we are the masters let's see if they like being treated like dirt."

"You will never be real monsters! We will find our items ourselves and then we will make you pay for your treason. You think we treat you like slaves now, just wait until we out of this situation. Once we have our powers and other things we will make you wish that you have never been born!"

"This is not the answer! Threatening them will not get your stolen items back it will only prove their point. As for you two, treating the monsters the way they treated you will not make you feel any better. What you really want is their respect. You can't earn that by blackmailing them into doing your bidding. Sure, they will respect you for a while, but it won't last, true respect takes time."

"We have waited eons for them to treat us with the respect we deserve. Blackmail is the only way."

"Have you ever tried telling them how you feel?"

"They are too thick-headed to listen to what we have to say. We are the hired help they would never listen to a word we have to say."

"Why don't you try telling them how you feel? If after you have talked to them and you still feel that you can't settle your differences then by all means, continue steal items until destroy them or until they agree to treat you with respect. The monsters around the table were about to argue but I stopped them dead in their tracks. "This is the only way you have a chance of getting your stolen items back. Just listen to what they have to say."

"We are not barbarians we will give this talking idea a chance."

After hours of negotiations Egore and Renfeild finally came to an agreement with the monsters. The monsters realized that they had treated Egore and Renfeild unfairly and apologized. They agreed that in exchange for their items back the monsters that Egore and Renfeild would not have to call the monsters master anymore. The Monsters also agreed not to call Egore and Renfeild names and that they would be more thankful for the things that they did for them. The Monsters also agreed that it was time to make Egore and Renfeild honorary monsters. In return Egore and Renfeild agreed that they would never steal from their fellow monsters again and agreed to work as assistants to their fellow monsters. I guess even monsters have happy endings.

This concludes the Case of the Mystery of Monster Mayhem. Until next time, this is Detective Catherine Mackleene signing off.

The End!