Sorry if you're sick of these parodies. I'll try to think of some new material, but I don't have too many ideas at the moment. (Do you guys have any ideas?) Anyways, so like I did with Hunger Games, I made a few parallels with Splatalot to KFP2, and here we are. This has three parts to it.
If you guys would like to leave a review, that'd be awesome! I'd like to know whether I'm doing a good job or not, or what I could improve on.
Thanks for reading!
Disclaimer: I don't own the Kung Fu Panda franchise or Splatalot.
It was a cold, wet night in the Kingdom of Splatalot. It was slightly windy, and it had begun to drizzle. A war was about to take place. A war between the Defenders of Splatalot and the Gladiators of Smashalot.
The readied Defenders were gathered on top of the castle's entrance. But instead of looking in at the moat, they were overlooking the castle at the front. The kingdom's vain viking was leaning over the top of castle's wall. He frowned at the glowing red torches and faint sounds of silver lightly clanging against each other. The gladiators from the Kingdom of Smashalot were coming to get the crown.
The Defenders had fought them once before. Earlier that day, in fact. They were able to hold them off to the point that the gladiators finally retreated, albeit after promising to come back. The Defenders had been able to successfully protect Splatalot's trademark crown, and they surely would do the same again.
But, unfortunately, the gladiators had inflicted a heavy, heavy blow upon the Splatalot kingdom. A blow so heavy that it threw the Defenders way off their game, which could cost them the victory.
Gildar took a deep breath, then looked behind him at his fellow Defenders. They were all staring out in front of them at the coming army or at the ground. Neither of them were lively or excited; they were all dejected or solemn.
The beastly barbarian wiped his eyes. "Skabb is sad..."
Tinkor started sobbing, and a few other Defenders looked like they were about to do the same. Gildar straightened himself up.
"Defenders! Pull yourselves together!" he shouted. He clasped his hands on Tinkor's shoulders and shook him a bit. "Pull yourself together!" Gildar let go of Tinkor, then lowered his gaze to the ground. He ran his hand over his eyes, then placed both his hands on his hips. "Pull...pull yourself together..."
A moment later, Gildar looked up at everyone else. The Defenders stared back at him, each still as sad as before. Gildar then put on a determined expression and raised his Tenderizer into the air.
"Defenders! To battle stations! Defend the crown!"
The Defenders nodded. Ballista clapped her hands together a few times.
"Yeah, defend the crown!" she shouted. "Come on, you guys, we've got this!"
Each Defender nodded again, slightly more enthusiastic than the last time.
Knightriss raised her fist. "Defend the crown!"
The dynamic Defenders began filling the atmosphere with the sounds of confident "yeah!" 's. Thorne placed his mace on top of his shoulders.
"We defend, you attack, get ready to go splat!" he chanted. He looked around at his comrades, then said the same thing again. Slowly, each Defender joined in. After a minute, each Defender was pumped up and ready to go.
"AAAAGH! We'll make them pay! They'll get it bad!" Skabb shouted amidst the chanting.
Shaiden growled furiously while the other Defenders screamed in agreement. Thorne pounded his chest to express his approval.
Still chanting, each Defender ran to their battle stations. Skabb, Gildar, Knightriss, and Crocness took the moat. Thorne and Shaiden went to the Stockade while Tinkor and Ballista ran for the courtyard.
Inside the Stockade, Thorne grabbed some goo grenades and ran for the Froth Broth-er. At it, he positioned himself and made sure that his mace was right by his side and ready to mulch.
"Shaiden, are you ready?" he shouted, running his gloved hand over the Froth Broth-er.
Thorne paused. There was no response. He looked over at his sister, who was staring across at the moat. She held a single goo grenade in her hand hanging by her thigh. Her figure was tall and at attention, but low and downtrodden at the same time.
Thorne walked over to the ninja. "Shaiden? You alright?"
Thorne stopped next to his sister. He leaned over the railing to try to look at her face. Her expression was a mixture of sadness and deep pain.
The blue ninja slowly turned her face to her brother. Thorne noticed a small tear glisten in the corner of her eye before making its way down her cheek. Shaiden took a deep breath and turned back towards the moat. She sighed and wiped her face. Thorne looked at her sympathetically, then placed one of his hands on her shoulder.
"We all miss him," he said quietly.
Shaiden shook her head. "I still can't believe they just...killed him like that..."
The ninja hung her head and took another deep breath. Thorne observed her carefully. He knew that she was blaming herself for their fellow Defender's death. She was the one who had tried to save him. She had ran for him as fast as she could...but she was too late.
"What happened wasn't your fault," Thorne said gently. "You did all that you could."
The ninja didn't respond. Thorne sighed, then looked at the ground. He was good at keeping his emotions hidden, but that didn't mean he was invulnerable to them. He was also extremely saddened about his comrade's death. Everyone was. Though he could be annoying at times and didn't care too much for anyone, he was still a huge part of the Splatalot family. And, though neither of the Defenders would ever admit it, they loved and cared deeply for him. Without him, the kingdom just wasn't the same.
"He will always be remembered," Thorne said after a moment. "But for now, we must stay strong and defend the crown. We must do it for the kingdom. We must do it for his sake."
Shaiden took another deep breath, then nodded. "You're right."
Thorne removed his hand from his sister's shoulder, then clasped it around the handle of her Splatana. He pulled it out of its case and handed it to her. He nodded towards the front of the castle. "Make those gladiators witness the wrath of Shaiden."
The ninja nodded and firmly gripped her sword. "I will."
Thorne nodded once more, then paced back to the Froth Broth-er. Shaiden lifted her face towards the full moon. As its pale rays shone down on her face, she hardened her expression, then slashed the sword through the air. She grunted and growled as she kicked, twisted, turned, and cart-wheeled over the Pardoning Platform. The gladiators of Smashalot were so gonna get it. She would make sure of it.
Because no one would get away with killing Kookaburra.
Meanwhile, Gildar and Skabb were already fighting the coming army. Sort of. Each side was firing taunts, brags, and threats back and forth at each other.
"We're gonna tear you apart!" a burly gladiator shouted.
"WE'RE GONNA SPLAT YOU TO THE GROUND!" Skabb screamed. "AAAGH!"
"You should consider yourselves lucky!" Gildar was yelling. "It's not everyday you get to face the striking viking!"
"You're not very striking to me!" was the reply.
"Are you sassing me?"
The response couldn't be heard over Skabb's next roar.
"AAAAAGH! SKABB RULES! AAAGH!"
The next taunt came from the Smashalot leader himself.
"Yeah, you rule. In the Kingdom of Stupid, that is."
Skabb growled. Gildar's face hardened with deep anger when he saw the tall, shady gladiator with dull, black hair. He was walking confidently and pridefully, fingering the handle of his sheathed sword as he did so. His gray eyes glinted with hatred and cruelty.
"Orion," Gildar grudgingly called.
"Viking," the said leader returned coldly.
"What are you planning on doing, this evening?"
"You should know. I'm planning on capturing the crown of Splatalot."
"I hate to break it to you, buddy, but you have to get past the mighty Gildar, first. And that's never gonna happen."
The leader smirked. "I beg to differ. You saw what we did with your little bird-friend."
The viking's face darkened. "Yes. We all did. And he has a name."
"He did have a name."
Gildar's glare intensified. "His name was Kookaburra."
Orion rolled his eyes. "I didn't ask for his life story. Remember his death, though, 'cause that's what we're gonna do. To every last one of you."
Now the enemy was in actual firing range. Gildar wrapped his hand around his Splatzooka and placed the other right above the firing button.
"You know, Orion, when you mess with one of us, you mess with all of us. And you're gonna pay for what you did to Kook."
Orion laughed. Gildar adjusted his Splatzooka, then glanced over at Skabb.
"Get ready, Skabb!"
"AAAAGH! I'm already ready! What are we waiting for? Let's do this!"
Orion unsheathed his sword and pointed it towards the castle. "ATTACK!"
Screams filled the air, and the enemy began firing arrows and stones. Gildar and Skabb began firing splatballs, slime, foam, and other substances from the Splatalot Castle. The Defenders had a huge advantage: the gladiators of Smashalot were vulnerable to slime. It stuck their fingers together, jammed their weapons, and, if swallowed, made them vomit.
The war went well for the Defenders for awhile. The army could hardly advance an inch. But that soon changed when they brought in their huge weapon. When the castle was within its firing range, Orion gave an order.
"Bring the wall down!" he screamed.
Gildar groaned loudly. "Not this thing again!"
"It's the Firepult!" Skabb shouted.
The Firepult was a large catapult that fired enormous molten rocks. As one can imagine, the results were pretty devastating.
Skabb turned his head towards the moat. "Everyone take cover!"
The barbarian and Gildar dashed for the side of the castle as the enemy shot a ball of burning rock through the air. It smashed through the front of the castle, filling the atmosphere with bricks and wood. The molten rock and rubble landed into the moat. Skabb, Knightriss, and Gildar were okay, but Crocness somehow found herself trapped beneath the smashed bricks and the stones already in the moat. Both her legs and her right arm were pinned down. Her current state caught the viking's attention.
"Crocness!" Gildar shouted.
Crocness shifted a bit beneath the rubble. "I'm okay!" she shouted. "I'm only stuck!"
Gildar whipped his face to Knightriss, who was manning the moat's Splatzooka. "Knightriss, go help her! I am not losing another Defender!"
"Leave it to me, my dear boy!" Knightriss shouted, running for the endangered Croc. "You just keep those forces back!"
Gildar quickly turned around to continue to firing. He would occasionally glance over his shoulder to see how Croc and Knightriss were doing. He cringed every time he saw that Croc was still trapped.
Suddenly, an arrow flew through the air and hit Skabb's arm. The barbarian yelled in pain, then pulled back from the remaining wall. He pulled the arrow from his arm and clasped his hand over the wound. Gildar kept firing at the enemy, but, without Skabb manning the other side, (and becuse of the "newly-enlarged" entrance), the enemy forces eventually seeped through into the moat.
"We need reinforcements!" Gildar shouted.
Back at the Stockade, Thorne went to send Tink and Ballista to Gildar's aid. He leaned over the back of the Stockade's railing and peered into the courtyard. "Oy! Ballista! Tinkor! Go help Gildar!"
"Alright!" Ballista replied, heading for one of the castle's secret passageways. "It's boring over here, anyways! Tink, come on!"
Tinkor nodded, then quickly stumbled after Ballista. By the time the two reached the moat, the visiting army had already pushed their huge weapon through the castle's entrance. The leader, dodging the slime and other substances as he advanced, took his place in front of the Firepult. Orion scanned the moat for targets. Knightriss helping Crocness out of the pile of wreckage caught his attention. After he had watched them for a moment, one of his warriors ran up to him.
Orion glanced at his blond-haired, right hand man. Then he pointed at the knight and croc-woman. "Kill them."
"Yes, sir," the gladiator replied, nodding.
Immediately after, Orion's forces aimed the Firepult at Crocness and Knightriss. A look of slight panic crossed Knightriss's face, but she didn't back down from her task. She was almost done, and she couldn't leave Crocness behind. Shaiden growled with disgust as she watched from the Stockade. She glared at Orion.
"You coward!" she shouted.
Orion looked over at her. He shot her an evil smirk, then turned back to the two target Defenders.
Shaiden clenched her teeth and banged her fits on the catwalk's railing. Suddenly, she saw something in the corner of her eye. She turned her head to the side and looked up on the castle's wall. There was a silouette on top of it. Shaiden gripped her Splatana and started after it when she paused. The figure looked oddly familiar. It was standing in a low stance and was holding a y-shaped weapon. It apparently had wind-blown hair and...feathered shoulders?
The sillouette moved into the moonlight, completely revealing who he was. Shaiden's heart skipped a beat. Her eyes widened as her jaw dropped.