Author note: If you've read the Thursday Next novels you'll recognize the concept of fiction jumping from them so full credit to Jasper Fforde. You may also notice guest appearances from other mad-cap comedies. You do NOT need to have read the Thursday Next novels or to have watched any other mad-cap comedy shows to read, understand and enjoy this story, however. I don't own the Boosh. But I really do wish I could jump into the Boosh too...
After freezing for just a moment in the middle of their last almighty jump, a very strange sensation indeed, Howard and Vince collapsed onto the jumping castle in a fit of giggles. They could feel the spotlight of the audience drifting away and the power of the Script unravel around them. They lay on the jumping castle floor for a moment just enjoying the bitter-sweet sensation of the audience's departure. Bitter, because they enjoyed what they did and sweet because their work was done and they could just be themselves for awhile. Howard sat up slightly, leaning on his elbow and smiled across at Vince. He thought, as he usually did when he first saw Vince after the audience's departure about how beautiful he was and how amazing it was that Vince was his. Then he remembered what Vince had done with the audience present, "You really pushed it this time, little man."
Vince grinned flirtatiously and flicked his fringe out of his eyes, "Oh, what? It was just a kiss. We kiss all the time. We do a lot more than kiss."
Howard flushed slightly, "Yes but not when the spotlight is on us…That kiss wasn't in the Script. You know that."
Vince shrugged, "We don't always follow the Script exactly. Sometimes I ad-lib. Sometimes you make mistakes."
Howard grinned back, "Snogging me is some mistake, little man."
Vince laughed, "Not a mistake at all. I said sometimes you make mistakes. I carefully bend the Script to my will. My only mistake was stopping."
Howard flushed again and Vince revelled in his power to make his partner blush.
Vince continued, "They call me the Script-bender. I've got it all figured out. This just confirms it. I mean, so we kissed? We also pulled back to the status quo before the show ended and anyway it was funny. If something's funny it is bound to happen at least once. That's a rule here too you know. Anyway, it was worth it."
Howard smiled across at his lover, "It was a nice surprise" but then Vince's talking about rules sunk in and he felt a rising panic as he remembered that bending the Script, as Vince called it, wasn't just difficult it was also, if you did it intentionally and changed the plotline or the overall concept of the show, illegal, "Vince, little man, you don't think they'll charge you do you?"
Vince threw one of his cheeky sideways grins, "Don't be stupid, Howard. We returned to just being friends before the end of the show. I didn't change the concept of the show. Now if I bummed you during the show- that'd get me charged for sure."
Howard laughed, "I don't think that'd ever end up in the Script."
Vince smiled, "Yeah, a shame that."
Howard leaned in to kiss Vince his panic forgotten but the voice of Naboo stopped him, "Alright, what are you two playing at?"
Vince grinned and nodded towards him casually, "Alright, Naboo."
"No- I'm not alright you ball-bag and it is Agent Naboolio at the moment. I'm here on official business. That kiss was not in the Script."
Vince protested, "Oh, c'mon Naboo, it won't even make it into the actual show. It'll probably just spawn another fanfiction or something and only perverts read them."
Naboo shook his head, "I've explained it to you ballbags a hundred times. We're held together by the power of the Script and our internal logic. Your relationship is never actually in the Script but you've got the internal logic on your side- it just might re-write the episode."
Howard swallowed hard realising that his earlier panic may well have been warranted, "Wait, you mean Vince didn't just create a fanfic or have the kiss creep into someone's viewing of the episode but he may have actually changed the episode forever?"
Vince looked incredibly pleased with himself, "Wow- well they call me the Script-bender."
Naboo frowned, "Vince, you ball-bag. If you've just created a fanfic or something I can handle this internally. It'll just be a slap on the wrist, a very big slap mind, with something really nasty and I'll probably get Bollo to apply the slapping with his monkey strength but if you've re-written the episode it'll be out of my hands. You'll be in deep trouble."
Howard nodded and wrapped his arm around Vince in a protective gesture, "He's right, little man. If you've re-written the episode they will charge you….god, I feel sick…The Protectors are probably already on their way…"
Suddenly two beings appeared beside Naboo. The beings were dressed entirely in black as if one large piece of black fabric was hugging perfectly their entire frame. There was nothing about their physical appearance that made them distinguishable in any way. They seemed to be of average height, of average build and could have been either gender. Right where their faces should have been they wore masks, the kind of masks worn in Greek theatre, and for all appearances it looked as if there were no faces behind them. The one with a tragedy mask stepped forward and spoke in a monotone, "We are the Protectors of Visual Moving Media. Vince Noir, you are under arrest. You are charged with wilfully creating changes in a Class 3 madcap comedy television episode that are inconsistent with the concept of the show permanently altering the episode."
Vince, suddenly understanding the seriousness of the situation leapt up as if he meant to run but the Protector with the comedy mask grabbed his wrist and handcuffed him. Vince sniffed slightly as they pulled him away.
"No!" screamed Howard, "Don't take him! Little man! Naboo, do something!"
Naboo whispered to Howard, "Howard- calm yourself. He has to stand trial now you know that. You're just making it worse for him." Then he stepped forward to address The Protectors before they left. He showed his badge, "I'm Naboolio, Agent of Comedy, mad-cap division. I'm in charge of the entire Mighty Boosh. Where are you taking him?"