8 Simple Rules…For Keeping My Daughters Home

First, sorry about the really lame title lol… this just came to me this morning (in class…it was a REALLY boring class, you have no idea). So I was hoping if there are still any 8 Simple Rules fans out there searching for any stories, that you might read and review this one. Please tell me what you think and thanks in advance…

[Scene: Kitchen. Kerry walks down the stairs early in the morning, right before sunrise; she turns the lights on and puts a piece of bread in the toaster. Then, she grabs the milk carton from the refrigerator while Bridget walks down (also in her pajamas) and sits at the bar.]

Kerry: You're up too?

Bridget: I have a social life and a reputation to think about. Why are you up?

(Kerry rolls her eyes and starts pouring milk into a bowl. A crisp of toast pops out and Bridget takes it and eats a bite)

Bridget: Oh, eww! (throws it in the garbage)

Kerry: Hey! That was mine!

Bridget: It's disgusting!

Kerry: What's wrong with you?

Bridget: What'd I do now?

Kerry: First, you take my bread without even asking. Then, you just eat and throw it away.

Bridget: God, it's only a piece of toast. Put your tail down.

Kerry: Yeah, sure, it's only a piece of toast…to us. You know how many people would die for that piece of toast?

Bridget: (groans) Ugh, fine. Whatever, Mother Teresa. (walks past Kerry to the living room)

Kerry: Mother Teresa was a great person, so I take that as a compliment.

Bridget: (stops) Oh, I am not falling for that one again. I love Mother Teresa too! (sits on the long couch)

(Paul walks downstairs, rubbing his eyes, in a robe)

Paul: What are you girls doing up, screaming at 5 in the morning?

Bridget: (stares at him) And what're you wearing?

Kerry: Yeah, God, dad, the 60s are over.

Paul: It's a robe for God's sakes.

Bridget: Do people clean bathrooms in that?

Paul: Why are you girls up?

Kerry: I just came down to have some toast, but Bridget wouldn't let me.

Bridget: It's disgusting! I was doing her...a favor.

Kerry: (sarcastically) Oh, yes thank you so much, Bridget. I can't believe how nice you were.

Bridget: (watery-eyes) Aww, come on, Kerry, it's no biggie. We're sisters.

Kerry: (going up the stairs) My God, why wasn't I born in a Chinese family?

Paul: (screaming from the living-room) We love you too, honey! Good night! (sits down next to Bridget) So, Cupcake, what's keeping you up so late?

Bridget: I dunno, dad, I just keep thinking how it's my senior year of high school this year.

Paul: Yeah.

Bridget: And you know what I realized after all that thinking?

Paul: What, honey?

Bridget: That that means I'm actually graduating at the end of this year.

Paul: (puts a hand on her hair) Oh, honey, we're all a little shocked about that.

Bridget: No, I just—it means I'm goin' to college next year. Like, wow. That is big.

Paul: Well, yeah, but technically you kinda have to get in to a college to actually go to one.

Bridget: Well, I already applied to a whole bunch of them—(Paul makes a move)—all which are close to home.

Paul: Well, good. Good. (gets up)

Bridget: But you know, I also kinda applied to another one.

(Paul stops at the kitchen counter and looks at her.)

Paul: Oh, yeah? Which one?

Bridget: (biting her nails, nervous) Umm…Brown?

Paul: (shocked) New York? Bridget! We talked about this.

Bridget: (gets up and joins him in the kitchen) I know, daddy, but Luke and I were sitting at lunch the other day and he was telling me how he thinking of transferring from Paris next semester and then all of a sudden Lindsey and Stacey come over and they're all like, "Oh you're staying in Minnesota?" I'm all like "I dunno, what about you?" And they're all like "No, we're goin' to L.A." and I'm like "Well makes you think I'm not goin' out-of-state somewhere?"

Paul: And they're all, like…?

Bridget: "Really, like where?"

Paul: And you were all, like…?

Bridget: New York! (smiles and claps)

Paul: And then your dad was all, like, "No!"

Bridget: But daddy!

(Cate walks down the stairs, looking very sleepy and annoyed.)

Bridget: Mom, dad won't let me have my own college adventure.

Cate: Paul, we've talked about this. (starts making coffee)

Paul: Yes, exactly, and we all agreed that it's best for Bridget to stay at home and go to the closest college available. It's convenient and appropriate for all involved.

Bridget: No, but I really wanna go to New York!

Cate: New York? (turns to Paul) Wasn't it Paris last week?

Paul: Yeah, but Luke's transferring.

Cate: Oh, right, right.

Bridget: Dad, you're being really unreasonable.

Cate: I'd be, at five in the morning. Don't you people ever sleep?

Bridget: No, I can't. I'm tryin' my new eyelash and lip gloss to see how they look like together so I'll save about 20 to 25 minutes of getting ready to school this morning.

Cate: (smiling) Wow, that was actually very responsible.

Bridget: Yeah, see dad? I can be responsible.

Paul: My daughter is not going to New York, and that's final!

Bridget: (groans, rushing up the stairs mad) Ugh, I hate you, I hate this stupid house, I hate my stupid room, I hate everyone!

Rory: (walking down the kitchen-stairs in his pajamas, smiling and rubbing his eyes) God, I never get tired of hearing that.

Paul: Rory, why are you up so early?

Rory: 'Cause you guys keep yelling so loud. It's like living in one of those Dr. Phil's houses.

Paul: Well go back to sleep young man! (Rory runs up the stairs; Paul turns to Cate who has poured herself a cup of coffee and is slowly heading to the living-room) Can you believe Bridget?

Cate: You're being perhaps just a little unreasonable, Paul.

Paul: Unreasonable? Are you kidding? Cate, I lived on a college campus, okay? I know what goes on over there. Do you want our daughter to be like one of those girls we hear about on TV?

Cate: You mean the ones who moved away at 18 and started their own lives?


Paul: Yes! Isn't that a horrible story?

Cate: Yes, it's very horrible.

Paul: Exactly.

Cate: It's also life. You can't keep protecting her from the outside world. One way or another, someday, she is gonna become a part of that world. And you're just gonna have to deal with that. You have to realize that Bridget will always be our daughter, and no matter how far she might be, this will always be her home.


Paul: Wow, I guess you're right for a change.

(Cate laughs)

Cate: For a change? Really? Oh come on, Paul, I'm always right.

Paul: Aww, I love it when you're delusional in the morning. (kisses her forehead and heads back upstairs)

Cate: For the love of God, Paul…

[Scene: Bridget and Kerry's bedroom. The girls are on their beds when Bridget's phone rings.]

Bridget: (on the phone) Yeah, hey Luke. No, it's okay, I can talk. There's no one here.

(Kerry looks at her and shrugs)

Bridget: (on the phone) I'm doing my toenails. (Pause) Why don't you guess what color? All right. I'll give you a hint. They're your favorite color.

Kerry: (mimicking) They're your favorite color.

(Bridget throws a pillow at her)

Bridget: (on the phone, squeaks) Yes! Of course they're blue! That is your favorite color after all, isn't it? (smiling really big, but her eyes widen up and she immediately puts the green nail-polish bottle away and starts to frantically look for the blue bottle)

(Kerry bursts into laughter)

Bridget: (on the phone while she starts to use a different color for her toenails now) So I was talkin' to my dad about the whole New York college thing and he flipped crazy on me. (Pause) Oh, you're not going to New York anymore? Oh my god that's awesome! You're gonna go to college hear? Yay, so our undying love to each other will not be separated by all the distance between us. (Pause) It means I'm staying too, Luke, God, you're such an idiot sometimes.

Kerry: Uh, Bridge? (points to the color that Bridget is using)

(Bridget looks at her toes and she is using purple instead of blue)

Bridget: (mouths) Son of a…!

[Scene: The kitchen; the next morning. Paul and Cate are in the kitchen while Kerry is reading a book on the small couch as Bridget walks downstairs with two brochures.]

Bridget: Hey, dad, so I was thinking of our little fight yesterday…

Paul: Yes, honey, me too and I just wanna say one thing, I am sorry I was tryin' to get in the way of your future, I was wrong and—and, you are old enough to be able to make decisions on your own. Granted, they are life-changing decisions, but they are your decisions and I am here to support you no matter what.

Bridget: Aw, dad, that's so sweet. But it's okay, I decided to stay here.

Paul: Really? Well, what changed your mind?

Bridget: Well, you know, I was thinking, New York is a really great experience for me and all but do I really wanna be that far from my family? I mean, I have everything I could possibly want here: parents who love me, a brother who looks like Harry Potter, and a sister who is dying to be like me. I mean, who wants more than that?

Kerry: (looking up from her book) Oh yeah right Bridget!

Cate: Well that's great, honey.

Paul: Yeah, it really looks like you've made up your mind about this.

Kerry: The only reason she's staying now is because Luke is staying too.

Paul: What?!

Bridget: (to Kerry) Oh my god, why would you do that?! Do you really hate me that much?

Kerry: No, did you forget? I am dying to be like you.

Paul: Bridget, is that true? Are you seriously deciding your entire future based on one boy? Oh well that is it, then. You are going to New York.

Bridget: (smiles) Alrighty then! Love you guys, that was awesome. (turns and gives Kerry a high-five as the two girls go up the stairs)

Paul: Wait, no, come back here! I'm not—(pauses) Go to your rooms!

(Cate is smiling at him.)

Paul: I showed them, huh?

Cate: Ahh, I love it when you're delusional. (gives him a pat on the back and heads to the living-room.)

So that was chapter 1. Tell me what you think please!