Okay so. People on twitter was like "there's a book called 'Spermakriget', this is a thing that exists". 'Spermakriget' literally means 'war of sperm', and Malin asked me what I could make of that. Err. I made this. There's comeplay included. And that's pretty much it. Lots of comeplay. And sex that's probably bordering on unrealistic.


"God Sebastian, can you— there fuck yes there," Kurt moans, pushing back and gripping hard on the sheets. Sebastian slides a hand down Kurt's sweat slick back, trailing his fingers down to where white, sticky fluid is leaking out around his cock, pushing one finger, stretching his boyfriend even further and smirking at his moans.

"What's this, baby?" he murmurs. "Your fifth?"

"Yes," Kurt gasps, releasing his grip on the sheet to fist his cock, not caring that Sebastian will totally win this, not when he keeps slamming against Kurt's prostate with every thrust and also fingering him at the same time.

"Hrm, and I haven't had my fourth. My, my, aren't you—"

"Sebastian," Kurt grits out. "I love you, but if you don't shut up and make me come right now, I'm gonna make sure that you will never come again."

Sebastian snorts at that, but he can't find it in him to tease anymore, he's bringing Kurt to his fifth orgasm today, he's totally winning this thing, so he grips his hips harder and slams in, adjusting his pace to the one that always brings Kurt off lightning fast. It works now, too, Kurt is panting and moaning incoherently within seconds, jerking his cock in quick, uneven motions.

Everything is slick with sweat and come, their bedroom is reeking, but Sebastian loves it. What started out this morning as an I can totally make you come more times than you can make me argument before they were even out of bed, ended up as a sex marathon where they're actually are keeping count.

And Sebastian is totally winning. Not that he thinks Kurt is particularly sad about losing, because Sebastian's nearly-four orgasms have all been ah-mazing, and Kurt isn't really complaining about his fifth taking a while. Rather the opposite. If Kurt insists on a rematch after this, Sebastian doesn't think he'll refuse. Demand some recovery time, sure, but he's totally up for a rematch. Orgasms, who denies orgasms?

There's come leaking out of his own ass and dripping down his thighs, onto the sheets, from the two times Kurt has fucked him, and Sebastian still hasn't decided how he wants Kurt to bring him off for the last time tonight. Because it will totally be the last time, no matter how much stamina Sebastian has, even he has a limit. And the next time he comes, that limit will be reached.

"Kurt baby, come on, one more, come on," he coaxes, sliding one slick hand down to join Kurt's on his cock, helping him jerk off and bring him over the edge.

"FUCK!" Kurt yells out as he comes, semen trickling out and smearing over their fingers. It's not much, not at all, but he's still not dry and that is kind of amazing, actually. His arm gives out and he falls onto the bed, burying his face in the pillow and moaning when Sebastian doesn't stop fucking. He angles his head to free his mouth. "Sebastian, please, I can't…" he trails off, but Sebastian gets him, he totally does, so he slows down and slides out. Kurt is so well-fucked by now that he barely even wince at the loss, and Sebastian can't stop staring at his ass. Come is oozing out of him. Sebastian realizes that his ass probably looks pretty much the same, but still, it's… hot. So, so ridiculously hot, and he can't— He shuffles backwards on the bed, not even batting an eye as his knee slides through a puddle of come, and bends down, one hand on each of Kurt's ass cheeks, spreading him. Kurt moans weakly as the cold air hits his wet, sensitive skin, and then moans really loudly when Sebastian dives in and licks a stripe from his perineurium up to the top of his crack.

Kurt has had enough. He's done, he's come five times in a couple of hours and he is done, but he can't bring himself to tell Sebastian to stop, because he's currently licking his own come out of Kurt's ass and you don't tell your boyfriend to stop when he's doing that. You don't. So instead he pushes his ass up to give him better access, and tries to enjoy the sensation of a hot, warm tongue licking into him.

His own fingers are sticky with come and he can't find a dry spot on the sheet (seriously, they're going to have to burn these things) so he brings his hand up to his mouth and lazily starts to lick them off. It's mostly his own come but probably a bit of Sebastian's too, it's really hard to tell at this point, and Kurt honestly doesn't care. If he ever had any restraints about bodily fluids, he really doesn't after today.

When Kurt stops moaning, Sebastian looks up to check if he passed out, or what. He can't contain the groan that slips out of him at the sight, and he somewhat reluctantly leaves his spot between Kurt's legs to crawl up the bed, pull the fingers from his mouth, and lean in to kiss him. It's sticky and sloppy and a little bit disgusting, but most of all it's gloriously, achingly hot. Sebastian loves this, the taste of Kurt, of him, of them, mingled together like this. His cock throbs, reminding him that he's still hard. He shuffles closer to Kurt, pressing his cock into his stomach, and Kurt breaks away from the kiss, glancing up at him with glossy eyes.

"Not done yet?" he slurs, smirking. Sebastian wants to pet him. He's adorable. Kurt slides his hand down across Sebastian's chest, flicking his thumb over a nipple and dragging his nails through the tacky, dried-up come on his chest. Sebastian hisses and arches up at the contact, precome leaking out of his cock and smearing across Kurt's sweat-slick skin. Kurt finally reaches his cock and grasps it, the angle a little bit weird and uncomfortable, but he's comfortable, so he makes it work. It probably (hopefully) won't take Sebastian long to get off anyway. Sebastian tries to kiss him again, and Kurt gets an idea. He summons the last of his energy and flips Sebastian onto his back, then crawls up on top of him. He re-adjusts his grip on his cock and continues to jerk him off, while kissing down his jaw, licking at the sweat on his neck.

"You taste so good," he mumbles, halfway to delirious. He shifts, switches hand, and grimaces at the unfamiliar angle and way. Sebastian notices, of course he notices, and pulls him down flush to his chest. He brings down his own hand between them and bats away Kurt's, grasping his own cock and stroking it with quick, firm strokes.

"You're tired, I wore you out," he murmurs, pressing kisses against Kurt's forehead. He doesn't sound mean or anything, so Kurt doesn't bother objecting, because it's completely fucking true. He still feels a little bit like a loser though for not being able to jerk off his boyfriend. Sebastian doesn't seem to complain though, as he tugs on Kurt's hair and kisses him again, sliding their tongues together and tasting the remains of before.

Kurt was right, it doesn't take long for Sebastian to come. A few more jerks, and then he's panting into Kurt's mouth and even more come splatters between them and sticks to their already filthy skin. Sebastian lets out a long breath and relaxes completely. Kurt wants to do the same, but he needs to compensate for not being the one to get Sebastian to climax this last time. He crawls down, pressing random kisses against patches of skin, both clear (not clean, definitely not clean) and sticky areas, until he's sitting between Sebastian's legs, licking at the newest drops of come.

"You taste good," he says again, and when he can't find anymore warm droplets he leans his forehead against Sebastian's hips and presses a light kiss against his thigh.

"Not as good as you," Sebastian replies, carding fingers through Kurt's hair. Oh god. He probably has come in his hair. Kurt snorts.

"Shut up. One, you sound entirely too schmoopy, it's unnerving. And two," he crawls up the bed again and slumps down beside Sebastian, not planning to move from this spot in the next twelve hours. "I'm not having another sex argument with you for at least two weeks."