I love Romano and I also love his hilarious relationship with Germany. This idea has been bouncing around in my head for a while so I decided to publish it.
Warnings: Slight Spamano and Romano's potty mouth.
I don't own Hetalia…sadly; everything belongs to the creators of the anime!
Germany paced his living room angrily, while Japan watched him quietly from the couch. They were supposed to be going to a meeting about their alliance but they were one nation short. "Italy should have been here an hour ago! The one day he doesn't sneak into my house and then he's late for our meeting?" Ludwig shook his head angrily but in the back of his mind worry was beginning to spread through his thoughts. Why wasn't Italy here? He was usually on time for meetings (mostly because he was always staying at Germany's house) but now he was seemed to have simply disappeared. No phone calls or emails. As much as he was always annoyed with Italy's constant chattering and hugs, he missed him when he was gone. The house always felt too quiet.
"I am sure he is just running a little late." Japan commented quietly from the couch. Germany nodded absentmindedly and looked at the clock on the wall. He listened for the loud screech of Italy's Ferrari, which always signaled his arrival but was met only with the tick-tock of the grandfather clock that stood against the opposite wall. Suddenly the phone rang and Germany raced across the room and answered it without checking the caller ID.
"Hallo (hello)?" He answered loudly. There was a sniffle on the other end.
"Ve Germany? It's Italy! I'm sorry but I can't come to the meeting today." Veneziano said, his voice sounded scratchy and he coughed slightly. Worry settled in Ludwig's stomach like a rock.
"Are you sick?" He asked concern lacing his usually stern tone. There was another sniffle and several coughs on the other end.
"Si, mi dispiace (I'm sorry) Germany! I don't know how it happened…well maybe it was when I was running around in the rain last night…" Germany raised an eyebrow and frowned.
"Why were you doing that you idiot?!" He yelled.
"There was a poor dog outside in the rain and it looked so sad and wet but when I tried to go get him he ran away! So I ran after him and then I got lost and couldn't find my way back so I went to a coffee shop. They had amazing pasta~ So after I left I walked home but it was raining and I realized I forgot my coat at the store and so I had to just walk in the rain and then I realized I knew how to get home. Then when I got home I-"
"ITALY! I do not need to hear your life story! So you can't come to the meeting today, then we'll have to reschedule…" Germany sighed in annoyance and ran his hand through his gelled blond hair. Not only was the meeting going to have to be moved but now Italy was sick. This meeting was very important; they were discussing military tactics and going over training routines.
"Ve Germany~ don't worry! I thought of everything and I know what to do~" Italy sang through the phone. The German didn't have to wait for an answer as he heard the sound of a car racing down the road and screaming. Ludwig groaned and shook his head.
"Italy, please don't tell me you did not send your brother here for the meeting…" He muttered hearing more yelling outside. There was a short pause on the other side of the phone before Italy laughed lightly.
"Don't worry Germany! Fratello will fill in for me! You have an alliance with Italy, north and south. You and fratello can be friends~ He didn't mind…that much when I asked him! Have fun Germany!" With that the phone line went silent as Italy hung up. Germany stared at the phone in bewilderment. Romano…Italy sent Romano here! For a meeting?!
"Germany-san someone is outside. I believe it is Italy-san's brother." Japan spoke up and Germany became aware of the screaming outside. Germany stood there, not wanting to go outside. He didn't like Romano, no, he hated Romano. He knew he shouldn't being that he was Italy's brother but how could anyone put up with that fowl mouthed, annoying half-country was beyond him. How Italy was could even put up with him was beyond Germany. "Maybe you should go invite him inside now." Japan prompted. Germany scowled and stomped over to the door and threw it open. He saw Spain trying in vain to pull Romano out of his silver Mercedes.
"Por favor (please) Lovi! I know you don't want to go but you need to do this for your brother. Poor little Italy is sick." Romano stayed firmly planted in his seat, ignoring the Spanish nation. "If you do this I'll promise I'll have some tomatoes and churros for you when I pick you up."
"Fuck you, you tomato bastard. There is no way I'm spending time with that stupid potato eater. I'm not getting out of this damn car." Romano growled back. Germany rolled his eyes and leaned against the door frame. How did Spain put up with that stubborn Italian, Ludwig would never understand. Spain smiled and leaned down to meet Lovino's eye-level.
"Oh, ok Roma you can stay with me! I was just heading over to France's house anyway~" Romano's eyes widened and he jumped out of the car and slammed the door.
"Fine, but you better not be late you stupid bastardo!" Romano growled and Spain grinned.
"Of course not, my little tomato!" He waved at Germany and sped away from the house. Romano watched the car leave, and then turned to face Germany with a look of pure hate.
"Hello Romano." Germany droned tiredly. Romano frowned further and crossed his arms. "Would you like to come in? The meeting is already late." Seien Sie höflich. Nicht provozieren ihn. (Be polite. Don't provoke him). He told himself. Romano glowered at him and stomped past him and muttered something as he passed. Germany thought about asking but decided against it. He stepped inside to see Romano sitting on the couch with Japan, who was trying unsuccessfully to make polite conversation.
"It's nice to see you South Italy-san. How have you been?" Japan asked kindly. Romano glanced at him and shrugged.
"I was a lot better before I got to this stupid potato country." He muttered and Japan nodded slightly and looked around for a distraction. Germany took a deep breath and closed the door and gestured for them to follow him to the meeting room. Japan followed quickly behind Germany and after a few minutes Romano stood and followed, glared at everything as he passed. They sat at a large table and Ludwig immediately began to explain the meeting and their combined military forces against the allies. Japan listened and nodded every now and then and added his own input once it was his turn. Once he was done they both paused and looked at Romano. The Italian nation was leaning on his hand and staring at several papers that were in front of him. Germany cleared his throat and Romano looked up annoyed.
"Do you have anything to add?" Germany asked, with forced politeness. Romano snorted and glared at him.
"Like you would care about anything I had to say. Stupido Tedesco. (Stupid German)" Germany sighed and ignored him for the remainder of the meeting. When it was over Japan bowed to both of them and quickly left. Now it was just Romano and Germany. They sat in silence for 15 minutes, which turned to 20 minutes and then became 35 minutes. Finally Romano stood up and reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. He punched the buttons on the poor phone so hard Germany was sure he was going to break it.
"You stupid tomato bastard I told you not to be fucking late!" He yelled angrily into the phone. There was a pause and Romano's face became red with anger. "You're drunk! Stupido bastardo ubriaco! (You stupid drunkbastard) Get your ass over here and pick me up!" There was another pause and Germany shifted uncomfortably in his seat. It was only polite to sit and wait with Romano even though he'd rather be doing anything else. He watched the hands on the clack and tried to pretend he wasn't listening to Romano's yelling and the quiet voice of, who he assumed was Spain, on the other end. "You think he fucking wants me here you idiot!? He doesn't even consider me Italy!" Germany sat up when he heard that sentence. Of course he thought of Romano as Italy, well not really Italy but the southern part. It's not like Romano was the really important part of Italy anyway. Italy had more art and trade and was overall much easier to be around than his southern counterpart. They were nothing alike despite them being brothers. Germany was snapped out of his thoughts by Romano stomping over to the kitchen.
"Eh, potato bastard don't you have anything edible in this place?!" Romano yelled from the kitchen. Germany sighed and walked over to the kitchen, where South Italy was looking through the fridge with disgust.
"I have plenty to eat. There is some food that Italy had already prepared and I'd much prefer if you just ate that than making a mess in my kitchen. Italy is a very great cook after all." Germany said waving his hand at the fridge dismissively. Romano stared at some spaghetti that Italy had left in the fridge and slammed the fridge shut.
"I don't want any of my stupid brothers cooking. I could make something just as good if you had more than damn potatoes and sausage in this fucking country." Germany laughed lightly and muttered something under his breath. "What'd you say bastard?" Germany looked at the angry Italian, with I slight smirk on his usually serious face.
"I said that you could never cook something as good as Italy." He repeated loudly, forget being polite. If Romano was making no effort to at least be tolerable then why shoulder Germany? Romano looked stunned for a moment. He stared at Germany his mouth open in surprise. The German usually took his insults without any complaint and simply ignored him, much to Lovino's annoyance.
Germany watched as Romano's face turned a crimson red color and his lips pulled back in a snarl. "I can cook just as well as Veneziano! What makes him so much better than me, huh?! At least I'm not always crying and running around like I stupid idiot!" He paused, his breath ragged and Ludwig was slightly surprised to see tears shining in his hazel-green eyes. "And in case you haven't noticed, I'm Italy too you potato eating bastard! It's not Italy and Romano! I'm South Italy, you asshole!" Germany and Lovino stood in silence for a moment, the sound of the grandfather clock echoing though the house. Then all at once the Romano wiped his face and rushed out of the kitchen and a moment later the door slammed shut, leaving Ludwig alone.
So I'll post another chapter as soon as possible. Sorry if any of the translations are off blame Google not me. Please leave a review about what you thought.