A/N: I know I said I wanted to update this immediately but I sprained my writing / typing hand and find it bloody difficult to do anything especially driving. The doctor said it might be carpal tunnel syndrome and currently I've restricted my entire right arm in a splint. To top it off, I have to attend a conference on policy making and implementation. Just got my GRE scores too, honestly with my qualifications, I don't need a test catered to engineers to do a course in policy-making and management for language education. I see not the point of doing Math when I don't use it for studying language policy. Well, maybe for statistics and data analysis. Unfortunately, access to studying in the States requires GRE scores. Ukh. *eyes long admission papers and visa forms… Citizenship: Non-Resident Alien* The older you become, the more responsibilities and pain come your way. Ukh. *eyes the painkillers… tempting….* So the sad story of a working adult continues *predicts bleak future filled with researches, presentations, more conferences and scrambling to complete research thesis*.
I rant and I digress! This chapter is loosely ADAPTED from the 1st OVA, with a darker twist and a slight change of season and scenery. Not the same! So don't compare or complain so much.
Disclaimed as usual. Dedicated to my angel, ToketelasAndTea.
Chapter 12: Dangerous Grounds
Child of Light,
14th Year of Birth, End of Winter, Coming 15th Next Spring
Of Confessions and Trials
"You want to go out with me? I don't mind," the amber-eyed teen asked him. His eyes were cold and calculating as though he himself was not sure what was happening. There was, however, a genuine request in his voice.
How astonished was he? He had dreamt of those words from his beloved senpai for three years now but when senpai had actually said it to him, it felt like another one of his daydreams. He was always daydreaming of how, one day, his senpai would finally realize his love for him. He never thought these words would ever be meant for him. His senpai had admirers. Beautiful ones, pretty ones, even the non-lookers had tried their luck with him. Ritsu smirked at the thought, pitiful girls.
Ritsu, though, had never seen him with any of his admirers. He was always alone and now the hand most girls would dream of holding in their own, was running its fingers through his hair.
"Ah… so soft," Masamune had whispered, sending shivers up Ritsu's arms in delight. His deep baritone was pure sensual torture to his senses.
Damn, I'm walking so nervously! It's like a dream! I'm actually walking with senpai! What's more, we're walking to his house! His house! I'm so freaking nervous! What should I do?! What should I do?!
"You don't have to be so nervous you know," Masamune said, looking over his shoulder at him. That nonchalant look on his face betrayed no emotion.
Ritsu was caught off-guard. He was now watching the back of his senpai's head, his face had already turned away. How did he know to say the right words at the right time? Somehow those words had eased some of his nervousness away. They had walked a little ways from the school, down a few blocks and up a few corners. They came to a quiet neighborhood, the houses separated by hedge fences. The afternoon sun was low in the sky now, making way for dusk to set soon. Ritsu had an uneasy feeling in the pits of his stomach. It was unnervingly quiet. As though the universe was holding back bated breaths.
"I'm basically living by myself now, no one's home," Masamune interrupted Ritsu's line of thoughts.
Again Ritsu was taken slightly aback. How did senpai know when to say something to take away the edge of the uneasiness gnawing at him? Wait, he is living alone? How does he survive day to day if no one is there to look after him? What about his food? His clothes? His basic necessities? These thoughts buffered the uneasiness he had been feeling since he had left school with senpai just after they had lunch. Immediately he was filled with concern for his beloved senpai's welfare.
"Are your parents on vacation?" Ritsu blurted, immediately regretting it. He silently cursed his lack of tack.
"...…" Masamune swiveled around quickly to look at Ritsu, who thought he must've imagined the sudden glint of teeth and hardening of Masamune's lips, "Yeah," he finally answered, erasing the look as quickly as it had appeared, turning back to unlock the door in front of him, "Something like… that,"
There was an odd note in his voice, Ritsu realized. What was with that look he gave me? It was so… cold… Did I ask something I shouldn't have? Again the uneasiness crept into his mind. Something was strangely off. They entered the genkan and took off their shoes. Ritsu stood by the genkan and took a look around. The house was… neat. Too neat, Ritsu thought, as though it hasn't been occupied in a long while. He noted the thick layer of dust that had settled where what little light shone. The house had an unwelcoming aura, it was cold, empty and Ritsu unintentionally shivered, rubbing his arms.
"Tadaima, Sorata," Masamune said, ignoring Ritsu who somehow had manage to be even more dumbfounded… Sorata?
Ritsu looked down when he realized Masamune had bend over to pick up something on the floor. His eyes caught sight of a furry black and white kitten clutching on to Masamune's shoulder. Ritsu's eyes had widened in disbelief. That cat… He watched as the cat looked at him with all too intelligent eyes, as though assessing this newcomer, and what unnerved him more was when a quick tiny pink tongue flicked out to lick over tiny incisors, as if the cat viewed him as… food. Feeling miffed with his overdriven imagination, Ritsu shook his head to clear his mind.
Immediately he remembered the cat. It was the same cat he saw Masamune picked up a few weeks ago. He hadn't been spying on his handsome senpai, he just happened to be right across the street at the bookstore when the rain started pouring. He had taken shelter under the bookstore's awning and watched the passing crowd moving to and fro on the pavement in front of him. He had heard the meowing but saw the source was across the street, under the pouring rain. While trying to ponder the appropriate course of action, he caught a glimpse of his senpai. He was about to call out and realized that his senpai would not be able to hear him in the loud rain. Ritsu had seen him bent down like what he had done earlier and picked up the furry black cat. He was the only one who stopped to attend to the kitten sheltered under a newspaper and left in a box.
And Ritsu fell even more in love with his gallant knight.
"I'm going to get drinks, so you go up first," Masamune said, looking over his shoulder at Ritsu and smiling tentatively at him before heading towards the kitchen with a watchful Sorata on his shoulders, "It's the room on the right once you get up the stairs,"
"Oh, okay," was Ritsu's only response. His train of thought was once again uncannily interrupted by his senpai whether the older teen realized it or not.
Leaving the relative safety of the genkan, Ritsu made his way up the only flight of stairs he had spied. The wooden steps creaked under his weight and he couldn't help but feel as though he was about to walk into a trap the closer he was to reaching the dark opening of a room just at the top of the stairs. Squashing the darker thoughts aside, attributing it to nerves, Ritsu steeled his resolve, squared his shoulders and climbed the stairs hurriedly before his courage failed him. He pushed the slightly ajar door wide open to be met by a sight that immediately sent him careening over the edge of relief. He shook his head at his unfounded unrealistic fears.
There were books, books, and BOOKS everywhere.
Books littered the single-bed bedroom. Every available surface was covered in stacks of books. The floor, the tabletop, and the DVD stereo even the top of the TV wasn't spared. Ritsu felt as though he had stepped into a mini-heaven, as he ran his fingers across the thick binds of classic literature, modern novels and the endless comics, though he didn't care much for the last set of reads.
His eyes began to focus on a single dominating feature in the room. The single-bed pushed against the wall parallel to him. He eyed the thick cream-colored duvet pulled across and tucked neatly into the sides of the bed and the singular pillow that called to him, enticing him, seducing him to touch it. He was suddenly overcame by an insane longing at that moment and his thoughts ran rampant at the very thought of the touching what belonged to his senpai. He clenched his teeth, shut his eyes tightly and balled his fists, digging his nails into his palms to fight the urge that was pulsating like a mantra in his head as he fought a losing battle within.
Oh no… This is bad. I'm overcome by a crazy desire right now.
Stop it! It's his house! If I did that…
But now's my only chance! Before senpai comes! Just a little while!
But nobody's looking!
Argh! SCREW THIS!
Ritsu lost the battle for his fragile grip and later attributed his actions to a sudden lapse in logic and sanity. He was completely taken over, as though someone else had hijacked his brain and moved in, fueling his desires to colossal proportions he could never in this lifetime deny. He took a tentative step forward, his lips and hands trembling like leaves blown about by the winter wind. He inhaled deeply, his eyes as large as saucers, and his knees weak with such exciting anticipation at what he was about to do. Adrenaline pumped into his veins with force, fueling his reckless desires. He shut his eyes tightly and said a quick prayer and...
He found himself flying face first onto the bed.
He found himself landing on the soft duvet, and even softer bed.
He found himself smothering his face with the pillow, rubbing it to and fro with his cheeks, reveling in softness of the pillow.
He found himself taking a deep whiff of the masculine scent that was faintly traceable on the pillow as he hugged the soft material to his face.
And just as immediately, he jumped off the bed, guiltily sitting on the floor but unable to deny that his head was filled with the bizarre ecstasy of knowing you had touch something personal that belonged to the person you had loved secretly for a long time. Like an addict to his drug, Ritsu swooned with giddy happiness, his lips forming a large smile like a schoolgirl who had just met her crush, his eyes filled with stars and flowers and his blood buzzing with adrenaline. Hugging his legs to him, his face burnt bright red with embarrassment at the sudden realization of his actions.
I… I did it, he thought faintly, feeling the elation thickening in his blood. I've fulfilled my dreams for the past three years now. What should I do? I think I could just die right now…
"Oolong tea?" there it was again, his senpai's strange ability to interrupt his thoughts just as they had taken a mind of its own.
Ritsu quickly turned to find his senpai was standing in the dark doorway with two glasses of iced tea in his hands. His face revealed nothing, it was as expressionless as always, and his eyes were as calculating as always. Ritsu hoped he had not seen what he had done. He could just die of embarrassment if his senpai ever saw him doing something as foolish as that. Ritsu absentmindedly nodded and said a meek thank you as he received a glass from Masamune. His hand trembled at being in so close a proximity with his senpai. He held the glass in both hands, and looked into his own reflection mirrored in the iced tea. What should I do, next? He asked himself as panic rose. He could feel his heart beating ferociously in his chest.
"Want to watch a DVD?" and just like that the panic dispelled itself, and Ritsu looked up to his fairly tall senpai, gaping like a goldfish. It was as though his voice held a charm that could ease away doubts and make him believe that all is right in his crazy stalker world.
"Whatever is good, I'm okay," he found himself whispering. Wait, why are we sitting so close, he thought randomly. Just as his heartbeats were slowing down, they were picking up again. He had never been this close to his senpai before, NEVER. He was hyper-aware of everything about his senpai now.
"Sorry about the books. The room's a bit messy," Masamune offered.
He could feel a strange vibe coming off the boy sitting next to him. There was a slight hint, faint though as it was, of doubt and fear at the edge of the boy's words. He must've not realized he was giving off such a strong wave. His father had told him that he had the ability to sense how others felt and that his voice carried with it a spell that could corrupt the strongest, most moralistic of human beings and could be used to whisper doubts and build fake beliefs in their minds. He noticed that Ritsu had always visibly relaxed whenever he said something to him so he guessed his voice had worked on him as well.
However, he realized that despite all that, Ritsu's aura was somehow fighting the spell laced into his voice. The faint glow he had seen numerous times surrounding him was not a figment of his imagination. Plenty of times Masamune had to look away because the slight glow had hurt his eyes as much as he liked looking at his little kohai. It was as if he had some sort of protective sheen around his soul and Masamune could almost taste the sweet nectar of the boy's innocence. He likened himself to a cat eyeing its prized goldfish swimming in a tank filled with water but there was a slight discomfort at getting its fur wet. Fascinating. As painful as it was to look at Ritsu, Masamune could not look away for too long.
"Why do you like me so much?" Masamune asked quietly, watching Ritsu from the corner of his eyes as he twirled the glass, dislodging the ice cubes to follow the gentle clockwise spin.
"That's because…" Ritsu started, unable to continue, as his eyes followed the movements of the ice cubes. It was so… distracting. Ritsu shook his head. His head was suddenly filled with cobwebs and he had lost temporary use of his tongue.
"You don't even know me," Masamune whispered in return, putting the glass down with a slight thunk on the floor next to him, effectively dissipating the distraction.
"Yeah, but…" Ritsu tried again now that his senpai was still and unmoving and not watching him. He contemplated on an answer and when he did, his voice came in fits and starts. "For example that cat… Oh! Sorry, I was watching you. I didn't mean to honestly! But on a rainy day, that cat was abandoned, and you were the only one who stopped to pick it up,"
"Waaah! You saw that?! I can't believe this! I was caught in an act out of a shoujo manga!" Masamune covered his suddenly reddening face with a hand. He could feel heat creeping to the top of his ears.
What's this? What's this?! I'm embarrassed?! Masamune had a sudden flashback to that day that had brought him to Sorata. It had been raining and he was just heading back home from school when he heard a feeble call. It was a different kind of meowing. His curiosity had perked and he began following the sound towards an abandoned box left at the corner of a street. His eyes had widened when he saw the animal in the box. Its black and white fur, matted by rain, glowed a slight blue. When he picked up the kitten, its eyes dilated into black as it looked at him curiously. Within minutes, it snuggled into the warmth of his chest and Masamune had smiled. Ah… he remembered thinking back to an enigmatic conversation he had with his Father, Papa said he was sending something my way…
"You're a Yōkai, aren't you, little kitten," Masamune whispered, only to be answered with a slight purring noise against his heart.
"I'm sorry!" Ritsu's apology pulled Masamune back to the present time, "But I'm not sure I know what shoujo is,"
"Ah really? It doesn't matter then. Anyway, are you stalking me or something?" Masamune inquired, finding a way to gain control of the situation. His little kohai can be a little unaware of his abilities to put him in an uncomfortable position.
"I'm sorry!" Again with the apologies, Masamune thought. Ritsu sure has some confidence issues, and is much too polite and nice for his own good, "I know its silly of me but I really like you,"
Masamune's eyes widened at the honesty and earnestness he heard in those four words. I really like you. There was no pretense in that small voice. What he said was true and Masamune could feel his heart began a steady thumping as he inched closer to the unsuspecting boy sitting next to him. What's this… feeling? He watched the glow surrounding the boy grow brighter as he came closer but his eyes were unfocused now. He was fascinated with the boy's trembling lips, the lids that hid the beautiful emeralds he had grown so accustomed to and that delicious scarlet dusting this boy's cheeks. What's this… feeling?
It was as though his body had a mind of its own and Masamune had lost control of his free will. He was completely spellbound by his kohai as his left hand reached upwards to catch Ritsu's chin and his lips parted, stealing the younger boy's first kiss. Immediately a hand pushed aggressively at his chest and he found himself an arm's length away from Ritsu. Puzzled, and annoyed at being robbed of that tantalizing sweetness he had not anticipated from those delicious pale lips, Masamune looked deep into Ritsu's eyes. Papa said my voice had a charm. Let's see…
"What's wrong? Why are you shying away?" Masamune tempted, deepening his voice slightly, all the while focusing his gaze unblinkingly into Ritsu's eyes, "I thought you wanted this?"
"I… No... Uh…" Ritsu began, but Masamune could see the cracks in the glow around the boy's being. Sensing victory, Masamune became bolder. He kept his unnerving gaze on his kohai, all the while unbuttoning the boy's uniform, purposely caressing the skin his fingers came into contact with.
"Then why were you smothering yourself on my bed just now?" Masamune retaliated in a silky smooth voice. He inched closer without Ritsu realizing it, and the buttons were coming off more now.
He saw that! Panic swept through Ritsu's mind, temporarily paralyzing him, forgetting the darkness that crept at the edge of his mind, "Sorry-"
"Stop it! You don't need to keep apologizing," Masamune reprimanded, a new annoyance now grating his nerves, cutting off anymore remarks. The buttons were all off now, Masamune thought with arrogant satisfaction, "I know how much you like me,"
Embedding the spell deeper into his voice, Masamune leaned in for a second kiss only to be met, though with less resistance, with tightly closed lips. He -tsked and sat back but still maintained an uncomfortably close distance to his little kohai. There was a tightening growing in his pants at the sight in front of him. He immediately recognized the wanton lust that had suddenly thickened his blood and pumped excited adrenaline through his veins. He could hear the blood rushing into his head… the steady ba-dump, ba-dump, ba-dump… He had never felt such lustful need in this lifetime. It was all this boy's doing, looking so innocent and ignorant of the havoc he was wreaking within the older teen. Naughty boys should be punished, Masamune thought lustfully, already his mind was filled with images of his little Ritsu writhing in ecstasy beneath him as he took him over and over again…
"What's wrong?" came the tentative question. Masamune saw the shy green eyes opening to him and need slammed into him in torrents.
"Don't shut your lips so tight," he said between gritted teeth, his voice had become an octave lower and his breathing was shallower. There was buzzing in his head as his vision blurred in anticipation of what was coming next.
Masamune saw Ritsu's lips parting and immediately seizing this chance, latched on to it with his own. He grabbed both sides of Ritsu's head in his hands, leveling for a better angle to kiss his little love's parted lips. It was tentative and shy at first but Masamune, overcame with desire and a sudden demand in his nether regions, invaded the virgin mouth with his tongue. The slick muscle explored and prodded the hot moist cavern; sucking and licking and occasionally dueling with Ritsu's own tongue for dominance. He bit and nipped the younger boy's lips in his kissing frenzy, accidentally drawing a pin drop of blood.
Masamune's blood heated and boiled into a fiery brew as his tongue caught the sweet nectar of this virgin's blood. Greedily, almost demonically, he kept kissing and sucking Ritsu's lips and tongue, demanding hungrily from the younger boy. Somewhere in the back of his head, something was crumbling; a wall was slowly but surely breaking. There was a slight hitch in Ritsu's voice that pulled Masamune back to a damning reality. He was majorly turned on. He lifted his head, for a breath of air and saw his handiwork. Ritsu's eyes were glazed over and had darkened into opaque emeralds, clouded with lust. His lips were bruised and swollen but well-loved and well-kissed, slightly parted as the younger kohai tried to catch his breath. His cheeks were the most beautiful and seductive scarlet tints. This alone became Masamune's undoing.
He had never seen such a sexy sight in his life.
"Touch me too," Masamune whispered hoarsely.
Slowly, he guided Ritsu's hands to his cheeks and let the younger boy explore him for a change. Tentative fingers left ghostly featherlike trails on his skin, igniting a lust into a blazing inferno, as Ritsu, unable to think straight, began touching him, his cheeks, his lips, the length of his neck, the width of his collarbone… lower to his chest… his arms… He watched as Ritsu studied him with such intensity. As the fingers trailed lower, Masamune saw realization dawning in his kohai's eyes at the direction of those fingers. NO! A thought slammed into Masamune's mind. Lightning quick, Masamune grabbed a hold of the hand hovering just above his navel, still cladded in his uniform, and guided Ritsu – who was stunned speechless at the sudden movement and had completely forgotten what it was that he was thinking – downwards.
"Wait no, senpai," Ritsu's courage faltered. His hand was now pressed against a thick rod underneath the fabric of his senpai's school pants.
Ritsu's mind exploded into a cacophony of chaos. He could not think straight and the darkness in his mind began to grow. He looked up into the lust-filled eyes of his beloved senior, all the while his senpai kept a firm hold of the position of his hand. He felt as though he was freefalling into space as the eyes seemed to glow a slight gold, with flecks of red and green around its pupils. In the back of his mind, someone was screaming at him to stop but those eyes would not let him go. He felt as though he was under some sort of spell… Unable to resist, unable to fight the growing lust building into him like a victim under the incubus's spell…
Against his mind's denials, his hand began kneading Masamune beneath the pants. The dry friction from the fabric against his engorged phallus was just too much to bear. Masamune's breath hitched, and he very nearly ripped off his own uniform. His blood was singing in his veins, the lust driven melody nearly giving him a heart attack. Between glomping the younger boy and possessing his lips in a searing kiss, more forcefully this time, as well as unbuttoning his uniform, Masamune found himself a few minutes later, naked as a babe on the bed, towering above a shy Ritsu who could send the brightest and reddest tomato in the country running away in shame.
"Ritsu," Masamune called his kohai's name, tasting the pronunciation on his tongue as if it was some sort of salvation for his damned soul. He deepened his voice, knowing that it had a certain affect on his kohai.
Ritsu's eyes widened. He just called me by his first name. The deep baritone whispered in his ear and brushed at his mind, sending him waves of comfort and safety. His senpai had never called him by his name. He would usually grunt or acknowledged him with a nod of his head. The way his name rolled off his senpai's tongue sent butterflies fluttering in his stomach, warming and filling his heart with a love so bright and so beautiful that it brought him to tears. It felt right, he felt as if he belonged in those arms but most importantly… he felt loved.
"I love you,"
Had he imagined it? What did he say?
"I love you,"
Did I hear it wrong? But I really liked senpai. If only he could love me a little in return I would die happy.
"Ritsu, I love you,"
The muscular arms of his senpai circled him in a tight embrace. The older teen placed a kiss, so soft and so tender that tears filled his eyes again, spilling in neat rivers, towards his hairline. Ritsu returned the embrace, closing his eyes tightly as elation at the confession filled him with a misplaced sense of desperation and fear, colliding forcefully with the love for his senpai that he thought could grow no more. There was a darkening in his mind but he was so addled that he could not think straight anymore. The demon child, as he made slow and restrained love to his object of affection, was filled with a foreign feeling that nearly broke his heart.
The demon child was in love, possessively, angrily, fearfully, beautifully, dangerously in love and Fate's punishment had just begun its vicious circle…