So Skimmingsurfaces and I have been pondering why Pinky gets so very offended every time he and Brain are compared to rats when he's so happy and delighted with all the other creatures they meet along the way

He even scowls when they're mistaken for the larger rodent, which is so very unlike the big-hearted Pinky :heart:

So here's our answer to the pondering

It'll be split into 3 chapters :D


Rats weren't allowed at the castle. It had lost the megalomaniac support when the decree had gotten out and was twisted by Snowball's followers, by Billie's smattering of followers, by other rebel groups who thought humans should regain their power. But The Brain had taken the burden and had no intention of altering the law. As long as he and his husband were alive, there would be no rats.

Because Pinky loved everything. He loved horses, sea lions, beavers, elephants, cats, dogs, pigeons - he loved every single creature on the earth they'd conquered. Except for one. The Brain held his cane a little tighter when he heard little Sweetie's words. Her twin was trying to tell her a scary story about sewer rats and she was far from frightened, just perplexed. "But we're just like rats."

"We're not rats!" The loud interruption had the twins looking to their great-grandma. They hadn't been aware that the taller mouse was paying attention, had assumed he was napping, but blue eyes were wide awake and narrowed. "We're mice! It's completely different. Zort." Pinky nodded decisively, pushing himself up to sit from where he'd been lying sprawled on his stomach.

Brain went to his husband, patting the bristling fur gently to soothe. "Shh, Pinky, it's alright. She's young and doesn't understand."

Sweetie, eyes big and confused, blinked at her great-grandparents. "But rats are just big mice," she insisted, not understanding further.

Her brother, Yam, shook his head vehemently. "No, they have uglier teeth and sharper claws and smell like bad onions left out in the rain. Mice don't smell like onions."

Her ears fell. "That's not very nice. Snork."

"But it's true," he insisted, pointing at Pinky, who was attempting to smooth down his bristled fur and cuddle with Brain simultaneously. "Great-grandma said so." Except for the onion part, he took creative license with that one.

"I did?" He blinked at the children, brow scrunched both from the subject and from trying to remember.

"Whether you did or not, it isn't entirely inaccurate, my dear." Brain patted his cheek, turning his gaze from his partner to the children. "No more talk of rats, now. Not in front of grandma."

"But why?" Sweetie insisted. They'd never ever even seen a rat before, and none of the take over the world stories she'd ever been told had mentioned rats. Her great-grandma only mentioned them occasionally while watching a version of the Nutcracker that made the rat king a mouse king instead.

"Wuh- well, because they're mean and icky! Why would you want to talk about them?" Pinky's ears flattened as he hugged himself, legs crossing and uncrossing.

"Because mean, icky things are cool?" Yam asked, cocking his head to the side.

Now Brain's fur bristled, just a little, and his grip on the end of his cane tightened further. He scowled. "Rats are not... cool. Now go find your parents. Grandma and I require some time alone."

"But grandpa-"

"Go," he ordered, his tone leaving no room for argument.

The twins exchanged looks, Yam shrugging slightly, before they got up and left their grandparents to themselves. Pinky watched them go, still hugging himself and fidgeting. Once the door shut, he turned to his husband, leaning closer to him. "You didn't have to make them leave, love. Poit."

"Yes, I did. But it's alright, my dear. I suppose I can apologize later." But rats weren't something he discussed with his great-grandchildren. Or the grandchildren and children, for that matter. No one in their family understood Pinky's hatred of the specie, only him and that's the way he preferred it to remain. No one knew what his sweet husband looked like snarling and growling.

He lowered himself to the floor beside him, setting his cane to the side as he took one of Pinky's hands in both of his and rubbed gently. "But they were upsetting you, and I can't allow that."

"Troz." He placed his other hand on Brain's and held on, staring at them for a moment, then flicked his gaze up to meet the pretty pink eyes that always made him feel so much better. It eased any twisty feelings inside and allowed him to rest against his side. "Even if they didn't mean it?" Because none of the grandbabies and great-grandbabies ever meant to hurt their feelings. And Yam had only been telling Sweetie a harmless, ol' story... "...We're not rats, Brain."

"No, Pinky, we're not rats." He lifted one hand to his husband's cheek, resting it there as he leaned in to kiss him. Chaste and sweet and with all the love their years together had instilled. "We never will be. And I know they didn't mean to, both of them youthful and having no understanding of the complete circumstance, but that doesn't excuse the fact that they did." He snuggled closer, wrapping an arm around his partner to rub soothing circles into his side. "We'll stay here until you feel better," he promised. "Just us two."

"'Kay," he murmured, both arms going around Brain to hug and cuddle until all the bristly badness went away. Then he kept holding, closing his eyes and breathing his lover's scent and feeling very safe and warm.

It took Brain longer to relax, mind insisting on replaying the details. Even without his eidetic memory, it would've been impossible to let go. Watching something made of love learn to hate was not something easily forgotten.


They were both young, full of verve and excitement. Fresh plans, a brand new goal, a lifetime to live as rulers of the world! They only had two weeks of nightly failed ploys behind them and had yet to venture outside of the lab. The shorter, large-headed leader of the duo was certain that they wouldn't need to and easily ignored his trepidation at going outside.

But two weeks of loud plans had not made the pair of them any friends in Acme Labs. The oftenness with which The Brain yelled at his more simple-minded companion and the unexpectedness of a machine exploding in the corner kept many of the occupants on this side of the lab awake long into the night. Brain didn't overmuch care and Pinky didn't realize that they were keeping anyone awake, his excitement and delight in having a smarty mouse friend and being allowed to help trumping any thought he may have had to the condition of fellow lab animals. To him, they may as well have been the only two animals in the entire building!

Yet they certainly weren't, and two rats in particular had grown very tired of the situation as night fifteen rolled around and the noise began. They busted out of their cage with a long claw and a lot of anger, making their way along the counterspace to get to the two small white mice.

The taller one was met first, rocking on his heels and gazing in admiration up at his friend, who was banging a wrench against a machine. It was heavy and he'd already made a mental note to build up his arm strength. How else would he be able to properly complete machinery? Not that this plan wouldn't work. It was sure to! But he had discovered a love for building and creating, knew he needed the strength to manage it consistently even after taking over the world.

He didn't notice the big, brown-furred rats coming towards them and wouldn't have done anything about them anyway. He had lofty goals and a narrow timeframe with which to complete them. Nothing could distract him! Absolutely nothing. Not even his sidekick's bumbling ways.

Pinky noticed them, however, as he had excellent peripheral vision! "Hi!" he greeted happily as the two rats stalked up to them, waving and rising to his tip-toes. "Narf!"

"Pinky! If you're greeting another paperclip, I shall have to hurt you!" The wrench slipped from his fingers then, hitting the countertop with a loud bang. "Drat," he grumbled, looking down. "Pinky! Give me back the..." He blinked at the newcomers, then scowled at them. "We're in the middle of something of high importance. Pinky and I have no time for visitors."

The two rats exchanged glances, the slightly taller one flicking his tail. The other nodded, and they moved. Pinky was grabbed, a long tail wrapping around his legs, a strong grip pinning his arms behind him. And Brain's tail was grabbed and yanked. He yelped, the surprise at someone having the audacity to touch him without permission coupled with a jolt of pain from the broken appendage.

"Shut up," the one with Brain snapped, throwing the megalomaniac to the counter and kicking him hard in the side. He kept a tight hold of his tail, though, too tight.

At first Pinky had thought it to be a game of sorts, like that time Brain used twist ties to keep him from running around and distracting him, but it didn't look very fun when the big mouse kicked his big-headed, chubby friend. And he'd made a yelpy sound, like something hurt and not in the fun-fun silly-willy way. The lanky mouse made to go to him, the instinct to help him already ingrained in him, but the grip on his arms and legs kept him from budging even an inch.

Craning his neck back to look at the big mouse-rat who held him, Pinky blinked up at him. "Let go, please."

"Not a chance, moron," he growled, squeezing tighter with his hands and tail. "And you'll stop your squirming if you know what's good for you."

"Umm... is that a trick question?" Pinky asked, not even wincing when the grip tightened.

"Pink- nya!" he yelped, then wheezed when he was kicked again. It was hard enough that time to slid him across the counter, the spring of his own tail dragging him back into another kick.

"I said shut up. You're loud. You're always loud!" This was snapped with another kick, directly to Brain's neck. The little megalomaniac choked on air, grasping at his throat and curling into a tight ball to try and defend against the kicks. He was struck in the back next. "You and your retard friend need to shut up."

Pinky's ears twitched high on his head, his eyes wide. A twisty bad feeling in his gut had him wriggling harder in the rat's grasp, whining when he was shoved to the countertop, the full weight of his captor knocking the wind out of him for a minute or two. "Stop it! You're not playing nice!" he scolded them both when he had his breath back. "You can't do that to Brain! Braaaaain- ow!"

The rat slammed his face into the counter, knocking his words all around in his head. It was kinda like a bop, but it made his nose sore and his head throb and it just wasn't done in a very nice way at all. Brain bopped him nicely. And Brain never got bopped back, but now this meanie mouse was and it sounded like it was hurting awful bad. "What're you gonna do about it, dummy?" the rat sneered in his ear, making it fall.

"I'll stop you! Narf! I will!" Pinky frowned at him, struggling harder. He wouldn't let him up though. He wouldn't let him up to help Brain. His friend needed him and he was stuck. "Why are you being so mean?"

"Make the retarded one shut up, will ya? I'm busy." Another well-aimed strike to the small of his back had Brain's body spasming, an outcry tearing from him. He closed his eyes tightly against tears, trying to curl up tighter. It hurt. It had been so unexpected and it hurt and, worst of all, it made him feel small. So small when he was trying to be big. He whimpered when sharp claws pricked at his tail, growing dizzy when the heel of a large foot was slammed into the back of his head. It pressed until the proud megalomaniac let out a squeaky plea.

The rat eased up, even releasing his tail. "You wake me up again, you little freak, you'll have to beg a lot more." Brain's response was a cough, causing the rat's lips to curve just a little, just enough to reveal that he'd enjoyed this. His tail flicked, a silent signal to his cagemate.

Wearing a matching smirk, the second rat got up off Pinky, but not before swiping at his ear, the claws grazing it, making it sting. The blue-eyed mouse pawed at it, watching the big, bulky meanie pants start to walk away. "You won't get away so easy next time," he called out over his shoulder.

Pinky stuck his tongue out at the back of his head, inching closer to his cagemate while watching the rat who'd been hurting Brain closely.

He watched right back, lip curling into a sneer. "Here you go, retard." He gave Brain a last kick, sending him sliding across the counter towards Pinky. Then he followed after his cagemate, pausing beside a roll of blueprints. "Hey," he called to his cagemate and stooped down. "Watch." With ease, he had the plans Brain had spent the day completing torn to shreds and chucked the pile of blue scrap at the two mice. "Guess you won't be needing those," he taunted and caught up with his fellow rat.

"Poit." The plan thingies his friend had worked so hard on fluttered around like sad confetti. But it wasn't as sad as Brain being all crumpled on the ground and getting kicked around like a rock 'em, sock 'em robot. "Are you okay, Brain?" Pinky held onto his shoulders to help him up, tempted to pull the smaller mouse into his lap. He did seem awfully small; nothing like the loud, proud, biggly-wiggly word, smarty mouse he'd come to know. His friend didn't make squeaky sounds.

Brain sniffled, biting back the whimpers as he slowly sat up. Tears still fell from his eyes, tracking down his cheeks as he lifted his gaze to meet the blue of his companion's. He sniffled again, bruises forming under his fur and on his aching, blood-spotted tail. Those claws hadn't drawn much, but it was enough for the little mouse to feel the sting. He wanted to lean against Pinky and be held, but the urge was childish. With effort, it was ignored as he wiped his eyes.

His plan was in ruins. He could've easily redrawn them, the final draft held in his eidetic memory, but there was little point. He couldn't lift the wrench now, not with his body a singular, throbbing ache. And he was so dizzy, a welt in the back of his head swelling enough to rise above his fur. "The c-cage, Pinky," he whispered, his voice hoarse and quiet.

Pinky's jaw dropped as he stared at the tears. Something inside him hurt, hurt more than his ear and his face, but probably not more than all of Brain's owies. "'Kay," he replied, helping his cagemate stand. "Can you walk okay, Brain?" The urge to lift him up and carry him was there, but he'd been bopped and scolded many times for sweeping him into his arms, enough that he knew Brain didn't like it. And with him looking so sad and hurt, he wanted to do everything he did like for him.

Hugging his stomach, the smaller mouse nodded. "Of c-course." He took a testing step, but nearly stumbled. Swallowing hard, Brain looked back at Pinky. "I r-require assist-tance," he stuttered softly, lifting a hand to knuckle away more tears.

Immediately he leaned over and wrapped an arm around his waist, encouraging Brain to hold on back as he took little steps towards their cage. He didn't want him to stumble again like Humpty Dumpty and break his big ol' head and never get put back together again. Egad, that would be awful! His very best friend couldn't get all broken, even though he looked very close to it now. Why would mean ol' mean mice want to break him? He had no idea and it seemed very rude and... mean.

"Why did those big meany mice hurt you, Brain?" he asked as they got closer to their home.

"Mice?!" he snapped, hard and loud enough to aggravate his injured throat. He went into a coughing fit, having to lean closer to Pinky and stop moving until it could subside. Then he gestured for Pinky to continue and continued the slow journey. At least their cage wasn't far. "Those were n-not mice, Pinky. You and I are m-mice. They were... w-were rats."

"Rats?" Pinky's ears fell and he rubbed Brain's back to keep him from coughing more as they walked. "Wuh... well, why would rats want to hurt you? Poit." He helped him into their cage, leading him straight to their bed. They shared one, because they were friends and sharing was caring and he cared an awful lot about Brain. Plus it made the nights after the tomorrow nights less lonely. He was very glad for it now too, he wanted to stay close by his cagemate since he had all those owies.

The small mouse whimpered when he managed, with Pinky's help, to get into their bed. He couldn't get comfortable on his back or his stomach, both sides throbbing, so rolled onto his side facing Pinky's side of the bed. He wanted to sleep for a week, wanted something hot to drink, wanted a hot bath. He wanted to cry some more.

But Brain cleared his throat a little, bringing his knees up to his chest and hugging them as he curled into that protective ball again. They had hurt him, clearly, because the enactment of their plans had awakened them. The next night they would just have to go to a different section of the counter, further away from the violent buffoons. "They just... d-don't want me to t-take over the world," he mumbled. It was only partially a lie, he comforted himself. Or not even a lie, just a stretch of the truth. If they couldn't make noise amidst their plans, then they would never be able to take the world over. It was a logical follow of the pattern.

Pinky watched him, several times moving in as if to hug him, but if Brain couldn't even lie down on their comfy bed without it hurting, then he didn't want to make it worse by hugging too hard. Brain did say he hugged too hard sometimes. Hesitantly, he reached out and pet the curve of his ear instead. It didn't looked as sad as the rest of him. "They must be very con-fused," he told him. "Taking over the world is your destiny!" That's what he'd decided after the second plan thingy. Someone who tried for something more than once clearly had a destiny.

He kept petting his ear as his eyes took in his small, sad ball of a body. "Want some hot tea and the first aid kit, Brain? Troz. It might make the owies go away." The first aid kit really was a magical box of magic.

Brain didn't respond for a moment, quietly wondering how Pinky had known. He was a bumbling imbecile, after all. "Y-yes," he agreed. Hot tea would be lovely and while the first aid kit wouldn't necessarily be able to do anything for his bruises, perhaps having a little bandage on his tail would help the stinging there.

"'Kay. I'll be right back!" he promised, spinning away to leave the cage. Since their escapes became nightly, Pinky had discovered the magical machine in the kitchen area that made water hot. It was perfect for tea and he'd been waiting to make a cup for Brain to actually drink (as he'd accidentally spilled the first one he'd tried to make him all over him in his excitement to show him that he'd made tea).

He made it just the way his mother taught him! Oh, wait... she hadn't... but that was beside the point. The point was that he knew how to make tea the right way! No sugar, but honey and a little bit of kiwi (though the kiwi looked an awful lot like a lemon. Maybe he was supposed to use lemons...). Filling up a little thimble with the steeped tea, Pinky's tongue poked out and his brow furrowed in concentration as he carried the cup and walked at the same time. One never really knew how hard it was to walk with hot beverages until they tried it.

"Here, Brain! Tea!" he chirped, carefully approaching the bed.

Brain sat up slowly, looking at the thimble with some apprehension. Even if it was just hot, discolored water, it would be something hot against his throat and he could take a few sips to soothe. And then he'd never allow Pinky to make tea again. He reached out without bothering to thank him, cupping the thimble. Their fingers brushed and he thought nothing of it, lifting the thimble to his lips cautiously. He blew carefully at the steam and took a hesitant sip.

His eyes sprang wide the moment the taste coated his tongue. Honey, lemon, and magic. The fanciful notion was clearly a product of too much time around his sidekick, but for the moment it seemed like a decent excuse. This was simply the greatest tea he'd ever had. Not that he'd had much, but his own cuppas hadn't ended up being this delicious. So magic it was. "This is excellent," he murmured, voice already a little less raspy. He took another sip with a pleased hum.

Pinky clasped his hands together and held them to his cheek. Oh, it was working already! Brain looked and sounded much less sad and achy breaky! Right, the first aid kit. The blue-eyed mouse scanned the cage for it, eventually finding it stashed under their bed. They'd only used it a couple of times so far, but they were both getting better at bandaids. Though, neither of them had ever gotten as beat up before.

Popping open the box, he held up a few of the contents. He found a bandaid, but did Brain need anything else? "What do I use for your owies, Brain?" he asked from where he sat with the kit on the floor.

"Nothing can be used for bruises but time, Pinky." Nothing but sleep and a warm bath when he awakened the following morning. "Just get a bit of the antiseptic and a bandaid for where that brute defiled my tail." The tea warmed his belly and soothed his throat. So much so that even though his body was still a large ache, he felt better and in charge again. For a mouse who was plotting to take over the world, feeling in charge was very important.

"'Kay!" With the tube of cream in one arm and the bandaid in the other, Pinky went to sit beside him on the bed. Poor crookedy tail. It was already all bendy breaky like a straw without a home and now it had mean scratches on it. The taller mouse pouted and poked it lightly. "Sad tail," he murmured, then brightened. He had bandaids, it would get better soon. "Don't worry, Brain, I'll fix it up all better! Zort!"

His tail twitched away at the touch, but he tried to settle. It was just that the breaks had sensitized the appendage; he didn't like anyone to touch it lest it hurt further. At least he was aware that his sidekick wouldn't injure it on purpose. Foolish and bumbling, he was, but Pinky was also loyal and sweet. The sweetness was on the uncomfortable side and The Brain wasn't always sure if he could trust the bright eyes, but he would give him the benefit of the doubt now. He'd called out to him while he'd been getting kicked by that rat.

"Were you injured?" he asked, only thinking of his cagemate's possibly harm then.

"My ear hurts," Pinky replied easily, the thing kept twitching as if he didn't know whether he wanted it up or down. It stung when it was up and stung when it was down too. "The meany mous- umm... rat scratched it. He should really trim his nails. Poit." He rubbed the antiseptic over the bends of Brain's tail, getting every last bit of it, then started to wrap the bandaid around it. "Oh. And he pushed my face on the floor and sat on me." His nose scrunched and wiggled, testing. "He was very rude. He didn't have to push me or grab so hard." Were he any other mouse, more than just his ear would've been hurting, but he was gifted with high pain tolerance. Or perhaps cursed, one never could tell, and certainly he couldn't ever hope to.

Brain sighed, gesturing for him to lower his head. And when he just gave that blank smile, the smaller mouse tugged him down to study the back of his ear. Red scratches stood out angrily against his white fur and the little megalomaniac felt... bad for not asking sooner. But he quickly buried the twinge of guilt, reassuring himself that his own injuries were far worse. He shouldn't be expected to ask.

But he did take the antiseptic and pour a small amount into his hand. He gently rubbed it into Pinky's ear, scowling. "Whenever you're injured, you need to inform me from now on," he instructed. "I need to make sure that you're available to assist me in world domination at all times."

"It's only my ear, Brain." Pinky didn't know how that would stop him from helping. "You can always count on me to help! Narf! Even if I had a real bad tummy ache." He would've nodded to affirm it, but he kept his head down until Brain was done.

"Ears are important things, Pinky. But I appreciate the offered sacrifice." He'd seen the fool gobble enough cheese to turn himself into a small watermelon; he doubted Pinky could even get a stomachache. Satisfied with what aide he'd been able to offer, Brain released his ear and allowed him to straighten again. "The scratches require air or I would bandage it, but it should stop stinging soon."

"'Kay." He believed him without question, smiling brightly at his kind, generous friend. He didn't know anyone who would ever be so nice as to help an owie feel better. "Does your tail feel better yet? And the rest of you?"

Surprisingly, yes. He gave a small, testing twitch of his tail. He hadn't yet lost dexterity in it as he would after the next two breaks. There were only three kinks in the appendage now. Nodding, he lifted his gaze to his sidekick's. "I do, Pinky. Thank you." It was the first time he'd said the words, the first time he hadn't dismissed them as unnecessary. "But I'll feel even better after some sleep. You should sleep as well for we have a busy night tomorrow."

"Why, Brain? What're we gonna do tomorrow night?" he asked, moving the first aid stuff from the bed so he could get under the covers.

"The same thing we do every night, Pinky." Except they'd manage it tomorrow night; he was certain of it. "Try to take over the world!" He set aside his empty thimble, the tea pleasantly filling his belly and warming him from the inside out as he rolled back onto his side. He rested his cheek against the pillow, sighing quietly as his eyes closed.

"Naaaaaaarf," Pinky purred, snuggling on his side too, arms and legs tucked in close as he watched Brain for a few moments. He did look much better, and he hadn't even needed any get-better kisses. Oh! How could he forget that? Those were very important to the healing process! Crucial! But now Brain was all sleepy, so he supposed he could give him one tomorrow if he still hurt. He just couldn't forget again. Easy enough. Closing his eyes, he rubbed his face against his pillow and settled for the night. "Goodnight, Brain."

"Goodnight, Pinky."

They're still so little! I just can't even stand it, so cute

But so worrying. This is only the first out of the attacks the poor boys suffer...

Anyway, the two kids at the beginning, Sweet Potato (Sweetie) and Yam, are (c) Skimmingsurfaces and myself~

Pinky and the Brain (c) Warner Bros and such

The rats belong to no one because they suck and Steph and I want no part in owning them XD