This is my second updated fanfiction. I have recently finished watching panty and stocking with garterbelt and it is now one of my favorites. And after a lot of thinking with a friend I decided to give panty and stocking a rule 63 makeover. I'm going to remake the whole series only with a gender bent twist. There will be a few changes but other than that it will be the same plot and hopefully the same story you love. Enjoy.
There lies a city on the fault line between Heaven and Hell, Daten City. Where humans live under the constant threat of attack from evil spirits. Darkness invades people's hearts, and not one person realizes that it is consuming the city. There are those who seek to obliterate these manifestations of human desire with transcendent light. Has the duty of repelling the darkness fallen to the messengers of God or the servants of Satan?
On the outskirts of Daten city there's a church, in front of the church, hopping up and down like a child hopped up on candy is a weird looking green stuff dog thing with oversized zippers for the ears and tail. This is the unlucky Chuck. From the grey rolling clouds comes a bolt of lightning that strikes the poor creature. He lets out a feeble cry as his scorched form falls over on the grass. A small portion of the churches wall opens up and an African-American priestess with an afro, carrying a wooden mallet comes out and hits Chuck on the head. Chuck coughs out a roll of paper and it unravels to reveal the letters 'W.C'.
An alarm sounds off within the church, waking its inhabitants. In a red, yellow, and orange room littered with dirty clothes (and condoms) and food there was two lumps lying under the covers on the bed in the center of the room. A blond bimbo cop jumps up and rushes to put her clothes on. "Goddamit! What the hell is going on!?" From under the covers a blond young man sits up tiredly and runs a hand through his messy hair.
In the room across the hall, even though it was morning, it was still dark inside. The room was neat unlike its counterpart and decorated in all things Goth with grays, blacks, blues, and purples. A bed designed to be a giant bird cage dominated one corner. Its owner slowly sits up, blinks then falls back to sleep. His short dark purple and pink hair splayed out across his pillow.
Waiting in the chapel was the priestess with a stony look on her face. Falling from the ceiling on a red loveseat were the two boys from earlier, one still dressed in all black pajamas and the other with a blanket wrapped around their still naked form, and the stunned half-dressed cop. "Good morning, Boxer." She states. He smirks and waves good bye to the leaving cop. "See ya later." He calls after her. "Any time." She replies dreamily. "Good morning, Sock." "Morning…need sugar…" He pulls out a slice of strawberry short cake and proceeds to take a bite.
She looks at the two fallen angels for a moment before speaking. "We have been blessed with another hint from the great creator. Now stand ready." The two angels ignore her and the paper focusing on eating cake and getting some more sleep. Without breaking her stride, she pulls the long white rope hanging from the ceiling and a large projector screen comes down. "Recently, there have been reports of people being eaten by toilets." Pictures of people being sucked into toilets appeared on the screen.
"Humans are most vulnerable when relieving themselves. It is a terrible deed and it need to be dealt with." You could see Chuck on top of the projector drooling on the screen. "It must be the work of ghost." She looks back at the angels to see them engaged in their own conversation. "-I mean you just gotta love morning wood." "Boxer, you are seriously nasty." "Three twist and a half twist, it's just crazy good."
"I much rather have sugar." Replies Sock. "What about protein?" asked Boxer. "Depends." Boxer shrugs. "But it's good for you. Ain't that right Suspender?" Suspender, unable to contain her anger for the two angels started to yell. "How would I know!? Listen, if you two dimwitted angels want to be here forever your only option is to collect Heaven coins. And the only way to get those is to defeat ghost."
She holds up a black brief case and opens it. Inside were only three shiny gold coins with H's on them. "You are not here to eat sugar or to hump anything with a pulse! The sooner you can get that through your thick skulls, the sooner you can go back to heaven." Chuck jumps down from the screen and lands in front of the two angels. He does a little dance then farts. Boxer steps on him then Sock kicks him onto the alter where he lands with a splat.
"Yeah. We know." Says Sock. "Fuck it, let's roll." Both boys change and head out to the garage where their light blue jeep Speedo was waiting. They peel off down the street with Boxer at the wheel, breaking every speed limit possible. "I've finished snaking the drain ma'am." "Oh, thank you so much. Are you sure you don't want to stay for a glass of tea or lemonade." Ask the thirty something year old in a skimpy nearly see-through robe that almost covered nothing. "A handsome talented man like you shouldn't let yourself get tired out."
"No thank you, ma'am. I have some other appointments to get to. Thanks for the offer though." The young plumber waves goodbye and heads to his van when he is suddenly hit by a speeding blue jeep. He lands face first on the grass and doesn't get up. "Hey Boxer, I think you hit something." Boxer Jumps out of Speedo and walks up to the downed plumber. "This must be the dipshit ghost rigging all the toilets to eat people. Sock walks up next to Boxer and stares at the plumber. "Maybe." "All right, you fucker!" He reaches into his pants and pulls out his boxers. They flash a bright blue light before turning into a hand gun.
"Feeling lucky punk?" Boxer turns the man over and sticks the gun in his face. "Well? Do ya?" "Does he?" Ask Sock. Fed up with the lack of response, Boxer starts to shoot him, the bullets bouncing harmlessly off his head. "Ow ow ow!" "Tch! Guess not." "We got the wrong guy Boxer." "Could you please stop!?" asked the plumber. "It hurts." Boxer studies the guys face before putting down the gun. "Now that I take a good look at him, he's pretty cute."(Just for shits and giggles, when I was brainstorming this, my friend thought that boxer should be bisexual. I agreed. By the way, he is always top.) "Yeah, he's a stud." Interjected the lady in the skimpy robe. Boxer smiled crookedly, a string of drool leaking from the corner of his mouth before he wipes it away with the back of his hand.
"Here. Hold these." Boxer hands his Boxers to Sock and before the poor plumber could even blink he was taken to a love motel to be screwed thirty six ways to Sunday by a horny Boxer. Not that he would mind anyway. By the time Boxer was through with him he could barely remember his own name. It was now night fall and Boxer and Sock were back at the Church to give their report to Suspender. "Guess I got lucky." laughed Boxer. "But he wasn't the one." replied Sock. "He was the one. A really good one." "You and your nympho tendencies." "Whatever. The only reason you're so uptight is because you haven't gotten laid." "Shut the hell up, you stupid asswhipes! Start preforming your duties!"
They ignore her as usual to finish their conversation. Suspender grabs Chuck in a fit of rage and starts choking him in a one handed grip. "Damn it! You know what, forget it! Let's eat dinner." Tonight Suspender made curry, a favorite of the boys. "Ugh! I'm stuffed. That was awesome." Complemented Boxer. "Yeah Suspender. Your curry is the best." She laughed at the boys complements. "That's right! I'm the best cook in this goddamned world!" "What's for dessert?" Asked Sock excitedly. "Cake, Tarts, Ice cream, Cookies!?" Boxer stood up from the table and started up the stairs. "Who cares? I'm going to use the crapper." "The toilets going to eat you." called Sock.
"Yeah right." he mutters and slams the door. He seats himself on the pot and prepares to relive himself while Sock talks loudly about some sort of cake that can make your tongue change colors. There was a loud splash and gurgle that instantly set Boxer on alert. That wasn't me. This time the gurgle comes louder and the toilet begins to swell and shake. More of those wet gurgling sounds follow and the toilet sakes as a loud booming sound resonate through the pipes. Then suddenly I was sucked down into the pot. I struggled to pull myself up, to hold onto something to keep me up but the force was too strong.
"Sock!" The force grows stronger. Hey, Sock! Sock!" "Shut up Boxer! Servers you right for being a pig! I hope you crap out all of your organs!" I didn't hear him due to the fact that I was already sucked into the toilet. The sound of growling and shouting could be heard along with the sound of fighting from inside the toilet. Suddenly a geyser of crap burst from the pot flooding the bathroom and flowing out into the hall. A pissed Boxer walks out covered in the foul smelling substance muttering to himself. "Found it...I found it."
Stocking and Suspender come upstairs to see what all the commotion was about when they were hit by a foul smelling odor. "Ewww! What is that smell!? And what is that you're covered in!?" Exclaimed Sock, both him and Suspender covering their noses. "And what did you find?" Asked Suspender. Outside of the church, around the city, the man hole covers burst open as nasty brown sludge exploded from them. The nasty substance all came together and congealed into a giant nasty looking monster made entirely of crap. "What is that thing!?" someone called out." "I don't know but whatever it is it stinks." A flood of crap washed through the streets of the city washing away the citizens who were unlucky enough to get in its path.
Police came from all over and completely surrounded the ghost. "Freeze! Don't move." The police released fire on the ghost who simply just washed them away in a nasty smelling flood of shit. "Holy shit! What the fuck are we going to do!?" Suspender cleared her throat at the police chiefs tone. "Sorry miss priestess, but what is that thing!?" "What you are looking at is a ghost. The spirits off all the plumbers who died from the stench of all the clogged toilets they've fixed some how came together and formed this monovalent ghost who is bent on drowning the city in its own waste." "Please tell me that you can do something like pray to take care of that thing." Suspender smirks. "Why would I do that when we have god's messengers to help us. Come forward Angels, Boxer and Sock!"
Boxer, still covered coated in crap, and Sock walk out from behind Suspender and approach the ghost. "You mean that thing covered in shit and that Goth boy next to it that obviously has mommy issues." Both angels stop a few feet away from the ghost. "Time to flush this thing down the toilet." Boxer seethed. "One that was cheesy and two you smell like shit." "Okay how about this, I buy you a cake from that fancy bakery you love so much if you don't say anything from now till this is over." "If what I'm saying right now doesn't count then it's a deal." "Then lets make this fucking fucker pay for covering me in this fucking shit."
Raising their right hands their halos appear and travel downwards, transforming them back into their angel forms. Boxer was in a pure white tunic that wrapped around his right shoulder leaving his left shoulder and chest exposed. A gold belt was wrapped around his waist with little red hearts on either side of his hips. He had on white fingerless gloves and gold bracelets on his arms and gold roman sandals with little wings on them. Stocking was in a white vest with light blue vertical stripes and a pair of white shorts. A silver belt with ribbons looped around hung down from the sides from the little blue hearts around his waist. He had on white fingerless arm warmers with silver bracelets on his wrist and forearms. Silver roman sandals peaked out from under his knee length socks. Everyone stared awestruck at the two angels, unable to look away from them and the heavenly light they generated.
Speaking simultaneously, they spoke their mantra. "O wicked spirit born of a lost soul in limbo…" Boxer puts his hands on his face and slowly runs them down the length of his body till he gets to his waist, where he slips his hands under his tunic then hooks his thumbs under the elastic waistband of his boxers and pulls them down slowly. Sock puts his hands on his head and slowly moves them down his sides to his right leg, which he lifts and begins to slowly slide his sock off. "Receive judgment from the garb of the holy virgin; Cleansed of worldly impurities; Return to heaven and earth." Both pulled of their articles of clothing the rest of the way off and held them up. "Repent!"
With a bright flash of bluish white light Boxers boxers and Socks sock transformed. Twirling his boxers on his finger, Boxer is left holding his trusty hand gun Elastic. Running his hand along the length of his sock, Sock is left with his katana Stripe. Boxer holds up his gun and fires one shot at the ghost. The bullet pierces its head leaving a giant hole where its face used to be. Stocking holds up his katana and brings it down forcefully sending slice after slice through the unfortunate ghost. The ghost gives one final groan before exploding leaving behind no trace. Everyone cheers loudly at the sight of the destroyed ghost while Boxer and Sock stood there back in their normal clothes. From the sky fell a single gold heaven coin.
Suspender stepped forward and picked it up. "Good work angels you got a heaven coin." Boxer sighed and put his hands behind his head. "All that work for one coin." "I guess so." Replied Suspender ."Now be grateful and quit your bitching." A deep gong from the churches bell tower rings out over the city, signaling that the ghost has been vanquished. "Let's go Boxer. I need sugar and that cake isn't going to buy itself." Boxer grabs a random cop and begins to drag her along. "Yeah yeah. Hey look, I found a tasty little treat for me to." Suspender, Boxer, and Sock begin to head home to the church leaving the police and other citizens behind to deal with the piles of crap left by the ghost. "You know you still have a punishment to face." Says Suspender. "No thanks. Me and this little lady have some business to take care of." "You're a dog Boxer." Sighs Sock.