Disclaimer: Not my characters, no matter how much I want Bart to exist and be my best friend.
Author's Note: I've been calling this pairing Ice Cream on account of my headcanon. So I decided to turn that headcanon into a story. Anyone is free to suggest a better name for this pairing, but until I get one, Ice Cream it is.
Meeting Klarion the Witch Boy in real life was nothing like seeing a picture of him in a file. For one thing, he was a bit taller than Bart had expected. For another, no photograph could capture the feline grace with which the young witch moved. Bart seemed to be watching Klarion walk towards him in slow motion. Of course, everything he saw always seemed to be in slow motion. It was a side effect of the speed. But this was like movie slow motion.
Klarion stopped, his head tilted thoughtfully to the side, and it took Bart a moment to realize that he was probably waiting for the answer to a question Bart had been too distracted to hear. (He really should know better than to fall for the villain. Being distracted in the middle of a confrontation was totally mode.)
"What was that?" Bart asked, forcibly reminding himself to keep his words from sliding together.
"I said, who are you?" Klarion repeated. "I wanted the other speedster. Is he coming?"
"Sorry, it's just me," Bart told him, summoning a smile that felt fake even to him.
It was hard to breathe with Klarion staring at him like that.
"Why?" the witch boy asked, the beginnings of a pout forming at the edge of his lips. "You're not who I wanted."
"I'm from the future," Bart told him. "I've read about this night. The way the history books tell it, Wally comes like you wanted him to, but brings Zatanna as backup. Something happens, and you end up blowing up half the city. I'm not letting that happen, so I intercepted your letter and came instead."
Klarion considered the story, and Bart held his breath, hoping that he hadn't made a mistake. Hoping that, by trying to change the past, he wouldn't inadvertently cause it.
"Pleaseworkpleaseworkpleasewo rk," he whispered under his breath, his lips moving so swiftly that anyone watching (i.e. Klarion) would see no movement at all.
Klarion glared at Teekl, and Bart breathed a tiny sigh of relief. It was really hard to focus with those black eyes staring at him.
"Teekl, I told you to give it to Kid Flash," he snapped.
The meow the familiar let out was filled with indignation, and it didn't take a genius to work out that Teekl was unamused.
"I don't care that he's a speedster!" Klarion growled. "That shouldn't stop you! You could have at least mentioned it so I could give you another letter to deliver properly!"
Teekl mewled again, and Klarion pouted and crossed his arms over his chest as she jumped onto his shoulders and curled around his neck.
Bart was judged that this would be a good time to act.
He pounced on the witch boy and threw his arms around the kid's lanky frame.
"Hey! Has anyone ever told you that you're adorable?" he asked.
It was only partly an act.
Klarion sputtered and tried to throw him off.
"What are you trying to do?!"
Bart tried his own variation on Klarion's pout.
"Can't I hug you?"
"Just stop touching me!" Klarion ordered.
Bart only clung tighter, using his superspeed to avoid Klarion's attempts to knock him off and Teekl's sharp claws.
"You know," he remarked. "Since you're not going to be blowing up anything tonight, do you want to go get ice cream or something?"
"Ice cream?" Klarion repeated, momentarily halting his attempts to throw Bart off.
"You know what ice cream it, right?" Bart asked. "Cold, sweet, delicious snack?"
"I've never heard of it," Klarion admitted.
Bart's mouth fell open.
"Seriously?! That's it! We're going and getting ice cream!" he decided. "Come on! It'll be totally crash!"
Instead of waiting for an answer, he grabbed the witch boy's hand and dragged him, and Teekl, along to the nearest ice cream parlor.
"Two ice cream sundaes with extra hot fudge!" he requested of the startled woman behind the counter.
She hurried to acquiesce.
"I don't have time for this," Klarion muttered.
"There's always time for ice cream," Bart replied.
"That'll be ten dollars," the woman said, placing two huge sundaes on the counter.
Bart reached for his wallet, only to realize he was still in costume. He could run home and grab it, but he didn't want to leave Klarion.
"Hey, Witch Boy, I'm broke. You wouldn't happen to have any money on you, would you?"
Klarion rolled his eyes and snapped his fingers. A crisp ten dollar bill appeared on the counter. The woman glared at it suspiciously, but didn't refuse it.
Bart picked up the sundaes and pulled Klarion over to a table by the front window.
He sat down and started eating, trying to savor each bite, but knowing that it still wouldn't last very long.
After a few moments, and half his sundae, he noticed Klarion was only standing there watching him.
"Sit down and eat," Bart suggested, through his full mouth. "It's really good."
He pushed the second sundae farther across the table.
Klarion finally sat down and scooped out a spoonful of ice cream. Hesitantly, he raised it to his lips.
Bart leaned forward in anticipation. Klarion slowly opened his mouth and licked the frozen treat from the spoon. Seconds ticked past. A smile spread across the witch boy's face, before he dipped the spoon back for more.
"This is good," he admitted.
He dipped his spoon into his own bowl, only for it to clink against the bottom. Bart frowned at the now-empty bowl.
"Awww, I want more," he whined.
Klarion held out his spoon, piled high with the delicious treat. Bart gasped in delight and leaned forward to taste it.
Only for the delicious ice cream to be pulled out of his reach as Klarion triumphantly crammed it into his own mouth, then held up the empty spoon tauntingly out of reach.
"No way you're getting any of my ice cream," he taunted.
"Oh?" Bart retorted, taking up the challenge.
The witch boy snapped his fingers, and an energy field grew up around his bowl. Bart knew better than to try and vibrate through it.
So he went for a more creative method. He grabbed Klarion's tie, pulled the startled witch boy forward, and smashed their lips together. Before the lord of chaos knew what was happening, Bart had his tongue inside the raven-haired witch's mouth and was savoring the taste of ice cream and Klarion. He wasn't quite sure when it changed from him playfully stealing ice cream, to a sloppy, openmouthed kiss, but he really wasn't complaining.
After what seemed like an eternity, they broke apart, gasping for breath. Klarion's dark eyes were staring directly into Bart's golden ones, both of them completely entranced.
For once, Bart found himself completely speechless. Making out with Klarion the Witch Boy was not something he'd expected to be doing today. Then again, he hadn't even expected he'd be taking the guy out for ice cream. Talk about a crazy day.
"You taste good," Bart remarked, still a little dazed.
His words seemed to jolt Klarion out of his trance. The lord of chaos grinned mischievously.
"So do you."
With that, he leaned forward, planted a kiss on the tip of Bart's nose, and vanished into thin air.
Bart sighed, starting to wonder who exactly had been playing who. Oh, well. He'd kissed Klarion. That just made the whole trip out here worth it.
And, hey! Klarion had left his ice cream!
He should have known that was too good to be true. Seconds before his fingers touched the bowl, it too vanished, much to Bart's annoyance.
He was less annoyed when he saw the note burned into the table under where the bowl had been.
We should do this again sometime.