Full Summary: -Son of the Mask crossover- Alvey wasn't the only one born of the mask. Abigail Avery, Alvey's younger sister, was too. Being children with the powers of the God of Mischief is admittedly hard to hide so when the Avenger's assemble it's no surprise they're asked to join. The only problem is Loki isn't too keen on the idea of what he considers his property fighting with the 'heroes'. And if you're wondering . . . yes they have cartoony powers. Now, someone get Fury some damn Advil! –LokixOc-
Alright so I was just sifting through fanfiction when it hit me . . . The Son of the Mask has Loki in it along with a badass baby who kicks some godly butt, so why aren't there any Crossovers between it and the Avengers? Maybe it's because Son of the Mask was a childish film but I personally think that it'd be awesome to read an xover. Well there's that and the fact that it doesn't have a category . . . which is problematic. LoL.
Alright, this will be a funny fanfic but Alvey and Abigail still know when to be serious, like when a pissed off god of mischief is trying to kill you, your new friends, and take over the damn world. That doesn't mean however that they won't have some fun along the way. After all they are hanging out with a group of people who won't have a heart attack if you pull a machine gun out of your jeans or are nonchalantly walking on the ceiling. Ah, life is sweet.
Read This Or Prepare To Be Confused: Alright the Son of the Mask is the sequel to the Mask staring Jim Carrey (Which actually isn't that important). In the movie the Mask is an enchanted mask that contains all of Loki's powers. However in that movie Loki's powers are cartoony whereas in the Avengers they are not. Going on a limb I decided to stick to the Avery siblings having the cartoony powers while Loki does not. Anywho Alvey gets the powers in the movie when his Dad has 'you know what' with his Mom, ultimately creating him. Because of this little Alvey (and in this case Abigail) was born with Loki's cartoony powers. Ok you're probably wondering 'why the heck did Loki have a mask like that?!' Easy, he's the God of Mischief. Yah see the Mask makes people go bananas when they wear it, so you know dumb mortals get their lives ruined by it . . . Mischief! Oh and he didn't know that he could create super babies with it or anything that would be awkward. On a not so relevant note am I the only one who is thinking of the Power Puff Girls right now? I mean you can create super powered children with the Mask (alibi really annoying ones) but yah now . . . sugar, spice, and everything nice . . . lolz.
By the way I think I'm making this a LokixOc and I'm thinking AlveyxDarcy along with Alvey harassing Natasha XP
I moaned into my pillow as the sound of the blaring alarm clock forcibly pulled me from my dreams about semi-automatic guns and puppies.
"And it was just getting to the good part", I whined, mourning the puppies that now had no one to protect them from the ravenous zombies.
Puppies soon forgotten I lay motionless in my queen size bed trying desperately to let sleep reclaim me.
"Nnh", I whinnied when a beam of light slipped past the slit between my curtains, effectively irritating me. Throwing my hand out to the side there was a soft whirling noise for a long moment. When the noise faded I smiled in satisfaction- the room had fallen into darkness yet again.
"Abigail Avery get up right this instant or we'll be late for church"! Lifting my head off the pillow I rolled my eyes at my mom's melodrama.
You see my mom was that kind of person who always had to be on time to everything. It was incredibly annoying, not that I couldn't manage it. Technically I could be dressed and ready in three seconds flat but Mom didn't really like us using our powers, not since that fiasco with SHEILD anyway.
And what a fun experience that had been. . .
I had just turned seventeen, only a year behind Alvey now instead of two. Mom and Dad were out on a dinner date for their Anniversary and the sun was just starting to set. Alvey and I were sitting down watching television when there was a knock on the door.
"Huh, wonder who that could be", mused Alvey never turning his head from the screen.
"The pizza guy"?
This time Alvey did turn, though he only did in order to give me a 'you have got to be kidding me look' instead of looking at the door like I had. "Abby, we didn't order pizza".
I scoffed at him, "Yah, I know, but imagine how sweet it would be to have pizza right now".
"Technically we could just conjure some up with our powers", he pointed out wryly, slightly amused despite himself.
"True . . . but it's more enjoyable when we don't 'conjure it up' for some reason".
The knocking on the door increased in volume and I jumped slightly. "You might want to get that", he deadpanned running a hand through his shaggy blond hair.
"Yah, yah", I muttered rolling my eyes.
Slowly slipping from my comfortable place on the couch I grumpily walked to the source of the banging.
When I finally managed to swing the door open I was rendered speechless. A tall man wearing all black and a badass trench coat was standing in my doorway. Oh and he was bald . . . and wearing an eye patch. Cool.
"My god . . . Alvey we're being attacked by a bald pirate"!
In an instant Alvey was by my side, needing to see this for himself. What mature young adults we are. "Cool! Hey, where's your parrot? The best pirates always have parrots; you are a good pirate aren't you"?
The man, who had tried to speak to us quite a few times already, was quickly losing his patients, apparent by the deepening scowl on his face.
"First off I'm not a god damn pirate. My name is Nick Fury and I am the Director of the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division or SHEILD for short. And second I'm not here to 'attack you' that is, of course, if you come quietly".
The two of us simply stared at the man for a moment in wonder. "Wait, so let me get this straight . . . you're a government agent, like, from the FBI or something", asked Alvey giving him a once over.
Fury's lips curved upwards ever so slightly at the question, "Or something".
"Ok then", I said giving the man a strange look. "I think we'll just be going inside now . . .".
I went to close the door only to have Fury catch it before I could close it even half way. It was in that moment that I decided Nice Fury meant business, not that I was particularly worried- after all my brother and I were blessed (or cursed depending on your opinion) with the powers of mischief. No way was some wannabe pirate taking us to Super Jail, or wherever the hell Patchy worked.
"I'm afraid that's not an option". And with that said a shit load of people in black suits came out from random bushes and black vans.
That's not creepy at allllll.
"The hell, are you trying to kidnap us", my brother demanded sounding completely affronted. I silently agreed with him, we were way too cool to be kidnapped, and by a pirate no less.
"No, this is perfectly legal. Kidnapping on the other hand is not", Fury said matter of factly. "Now, you have two options. Either come with me nicely or we'll make you".
"Is that so", I asked narrowing my eyes.
My brother, who now saw the threat that this man possessed, stepped in front of me protectively. "Look buddy I don't know what you want with us but we're nothing special so-".
"-We both know that's a lie Alvey", he interrupted. "You and your sister are two of the few extraordinary people in this world that managed to catch SHEILD's attention and once you're on our radar there's nowhere to hide. I personally would like to believe that you and your sister are friendly but SHEILD won't take any chances. So I'll tell you one last time. Come with us. Now".
Alvey and I looked at each other from the corner of our eyes and grimaced. Looks like our parents weren't lying when they said we needed to be more discrete with our powers.
Suddenly a brilliant idea popped into my head- well I thought it was brilliant at least . . .
"Huh, well, you got us. I guess there's nothing we can do but go with you. . .but I expect ice cream, pistachio is my preferred choice, Alvey likes chocolate though . . .", I rambled only to trail off when I saw the look I was receiving from the pirate. Fury was scowling at me so intensely that I was sure that if he had heat vision I'd be nothing but a pile of dust on the floor.
"Fine, you'll get your damn ice-cream, just come quietly".
"What! Abigail you can't be serious, this guy's a nut . . . and a pirate, you know we're not supposed to trust pirates"!
This time Fury rolled his good eye at us, fed up with the pirate jokes.
"Are you coming or not", he finally snapped.
"Don't worry, we're coming No-beard". The nickname got me a breathy half chuckle from Alvey who started to reluctantly follow me outside the house. When we made it down the stairs I tugged on my brothers sleeve discreetly, "Psst, Alvey, what do you say we do a tribute to our old friend Stanley"?
At the mention of Stanley a mischievous smile spread across his face, instantly knowing where I was headed.
For those of you who have never heard of Stanley Ipkiss, he was, in fact, the last one to wear the mask before our father found it. When we met Stanley he was egger to talk about his experience as The Mask after we told him we were born with its powers. Needless to say he shared a lot of hilarious stories with us. A few of his better stories even gave my brother and I a few ideas, like the one we were about to perform.
"On the count of three", he asked eagerly.
I smiled devilishly back at my older brother but quickly replaced it with an innocent look when Fury glanced back at us suspiciously.
"One . . .
Two . . .
Simultaneously snapping our fingers we flamboyantly exclaimed, "Hit it"!
The headlights from the creepy vans, our house, and the small lights trailing our walkway were suddenly ablaze and shinning on the two of us. By the time Fury turned around we were wearing wavy blue flamingo shirts, puffy white pants, a black hat that had dangly ornaments jingling as we moved, and a pair of colorful maracas in hand.
A beat of silence and then, to my giddy excitement, catchy Spanish music started to play from each van's radio.
Exchanging one last glance the two of us started to dance to the beet while the SHEILD agents stood frozen looking at us in awe and utter confusion. Even Fury was staring at us, alibi with more of an angry look than the others, but frozen none the less.
Although that soon ended, for the moment we took out our maracas and started to dance more vigorously he quickly snapped out of it.
"Well don't just stand there gawking like a bunch of star struck teenagers, do something"!
And do something they did. The now angry and befuddled agents all drew there weapons, including a peeved Fury.
Smiling and secretly feeling incredibly ridiculous we started to shake our shoulders to the beat. . . as did a SHEILD agent (who I later learned to be Agent Coulson –ha). Coulson looked at his shoulders in confusion for a moment before shaking it off and lifted his gun back towards us.
But then we started to sing . . .
"They call me Cuban Pete. I'm the king of the rumba beat.
When I play the maracas I go chick-chicky-boom, chick-chicky boom", on the last line we shook our hips as did several of the agents who were starting to feel the beat.
"Yessir, I'm Cuban Pete. I'm the craze of my native street.
When I start to dance, everything goes chick-chicky-boom, chick-chicky boom."
No longer needing the maracas we tossed them aside coincidently shattering old Mrs. Robinson's window.
. . . Oops.
"The senoritas they sing and they swing with terampero-
It's very nice, so full of spice.
And when they dance in they bring a happy ring that era keros-
Singin' a song, all the daylong".
Dancing our way over to our old teeter totter we made our way up its side and slid back down, the agents trailing us with their guns the whole time. But we could see the uncertainty on their faces. They couldn't hold out for much longer, even Fury had to fight the beat, noticeable by the way he was grinding his teeth.
"So if you like the beat, take a lesson from Cuban Pete
And I'll teach you to chick-chicky-boom, chick-chicky-boom."
At this part I walked over to Agent Coulson while Alvey approached a woman who I later learned to be Agent Maria Hill.
Waving our fingers in front of each agents face we were filled with a great amusement when Agent Hill started singing, looking all the while like a confused puppy.
"He's really a modest guy, although he's the hottest guy
In Havana, in havana."!
By the time she was done singing her line Agent Hill was smiling broadly at my brother, Coulson doing the same with me.
With a mischievous gleam in my eyes I grabbed Coulson. pulling him into a dance, Alvey doing the same with Hill.
At this point all the agents, including Fury, were dancing with smiles on their faces.
Well technically Fury's expression was more like a mix between a grin and a grimace.
The spotlights suddenly shifted to three agents . . .
"It's very nice, so full of spice", sang the three men, hanging off each other's shoulders, acting as if they were in a drunken stupor they were so happy.
Oh this was too fun . . .
After a few beats we started to sing again.
"Si, sinorita I know that you would like to chicky-boom-chick
It's very nice, so full of spice.
I'll place my hand on your hip, and if you will just give me your hand
Then we shall try - just you and I. I-yi-yi!
And just like that we spun our partners out of our arms and continued to dance on our own.
"So if you like the beat, take a lesson from Cuban Pete
And I'll teach you chick-chicky-boom, chick-chicky-boom, chick-chicky-boom"!
Suddenly we were in a conga line with Fury a few people behind us looking like he was having the time of his life . . . it was creepy.
Once we got a good amount of agents in the line we started to do a new dance, one where we snapped our fingers and shook our arms back and forth with the hypnotized agents. This lasted a good thirty seconds before we exclaimed-
"Shake Your Booty, Daddy, Wow!" (Heh heh, booty)
"See yah Fury"!
And just like that we jumped into the air with a "Meep Meep", and were suddenly gone in a cloud of dust.
The SHEILD agents blinked.
"Aw hell no"!
I chuckled fondly at the memory. That was probably one of the craziest things either of us have ever done, not to say it wasn't enjoyable, because it was extremely enjoyable.
Rolling my eyes I sped downstairs, simultaneously changing my outfit into a skirt and button up blouse so I can look 'nice' for church.
Jumping in surprise she turned on her heal to see me standing there with a halo alight on my head and a slight breeze playing with my long blond hair. Frowning at me she shook the wooden spoon she was holding in my direction in reprehend.
"You know you're not supposed to use your powers Abby".
And like that the halo was gone and I was sulking over to my chair.
"Yah I know but it's not like anyone can see us, besides I'm old enough to make my own decisions, I'm nineteen".
Mom perused her lips stubbornly. "You may be nineteen but you and your brother still live under my roof and while you do so you'll follow my rules".
I sighed heavily, "Mom you realize the only reason we're still living here is because you refused to let us move out right"?
Frowning slightly she crossed her arms in denial. "Yes but that's only because you had to go and get the government angry with you. I'm not willing to let either of you out of my sight as long as SHEILD's after you"!
"Mom it's been two years! If they still wanted to kidnap us don't you think they would have already"?
"She has a point you know", piped in my Dad who I only know realized was sitting at the table with my brother.
"Tim", protested my Mother. "You're supposed to be on my side"!
"Well she does have a point", he muttered to himself.
Biting her lip and studying the floor tile she shook her head tiredly. "I suppose it wouldn't hurt to use your powers at home, as long as you don't overdo it".
"Yes"! Pumping my arm back I started to shuffle dance, balloons and confetti raining around me as I did so. "Go Abigail, it's your birthday, uh huh, alright"!
I flinched when my father cleared his throat rather loudly, getting my attention. I turned my attention back to my mom who was glaring at me.
Coughing nervously into my hand I coyly slunk into a chair at the table. "I mean . . . alright! I'll be super responsible and stuff . . .".
Rolling her eyes Mom went back to making breakfast.
Twiddling my thumbs I looked around for a moment when my eyes landed on the box of Captain Crunch on the table. Furrowing my brows I debated grabbing it when I decided to just go for it. When I moved to pull it towards me however I found it being tugged in the other direction. Looking up my eyes caught my brothers and before anyone knew what was happening only Alvey and my eyes were visible as everything else went black (like in dramatic stare offs in the movies).
Cowboy music randomly started to play in the background and in the time it took our parents to blink our kitchen was suddenly filled with sand and everyone was wearing clothing from the old west.
Alvey and I were wearing cowboy garb, my outfit being black, his being brown, while my mother was dressed like a show girl, and my father a bartender.
Pulling a silver pistol from my pocket with my spare hand I asked in a manly voice, "You feeling lucky punk?", and spit a mouthful of tobacco into a pot.
Alvey narrowed his eyes at me in response biting down hard on the piece of straw in his mouth. Without responding he flicked it to the ground just as a tumble weed rolled between us. In a flash we fired off our guns . . . only to have bang sings come out the end.
My parents groaned in annoyance and just like that everything was back to normal, cereal magically filling each of our bowls. "Do you two always have to be so dramatic", Dad asked in exasperation.
"Yes", we answered in union.
"What happened to being responsible with your powers", muttered Mom irritably.
I simply shrugged my shoulders and started to eat my cereal. As soon as I swallowed my first bight however I was annoyed to find someone ringing the doorbell. "Ug, why do people have to bother us so early in the morning", I whined.
Trudging over to the door I swung it open and had a serious case of dashavoo . . .
"Aaaah!? Code Pirate! I repeat Code Pirate"!
Like last time Alvey came rushing loyally to my side. Narrowing our eyes we drew around ten guns from our pocket and aimed them at Fury.
"What do you want Patchy", I demanded worried as hell. I really didn't want to move again . . .
Fury scowled at me darkly, "Put the guns down kids".
I lifted an eyebrow at him, "And why should we"?
Fury made a motion with his hand, his eyes never leaving mine, and what happened next had me smiling broadly at him, ill intents forgotten. "Because I brought ice cream". And so he did. A nervous looking agent handed him a tub of chocolate and pistachio ice cream along with two spoons.
Flipping the guns around my fingers I shoved them back into the infinite void that is my pockets. "Ah, why didn't you say so", I gushed happy to have the frozen treat. Putting my arm around his shoulder I led him inside past my smiling brother and into the kitchen.
My parents looked at us with worried expressions. "So . . . this is the pirate you're always talking about huh", my dad asked.
Fury's eye twitched and before he could shoot him my mom smacked him across the head with the spoon, satisfying his urge to kill for the time being. "Tim"!
Breathing deeply Fury set the ice cream on the table, shrugging out of my grip, and turned to address my parents. "I need to have a word with your children, if you would please give us a moment".
Instantly my parents tensed and moved to stand by us. "What! No way am I leaving you alone with my babies after what happened last time", my mom argued.
"Mrs. I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation. We're short on time, and if I recall correctly your 'babies' can take care of themselves just fine, which is why I'm here actually".
My parents were still reluctant so picking up the pistachio ice cream I stated, "Don't worry guys we'll be ok".
With forlorn expressions they left us in the presence of the Director.
"So . . . what's up", my brother asked lamely, eyeing the chocolate ice cream suspiciously.
Fury sighed and motioned towards the frozen treat, "It's not poisoned you know . . . besides your sister seems perfectly content with hers".
"Tastes fine to me", I said shrugging. "Pretty sure there's no drugs in it either".
"Right . . .". Reluctantly my brother sat down and began to eat his ice cream as well.
Taking on a more serious tone Fury began, "At five hundred hours our HQ was attacked by the Asgardian god Loki". Hearing the name the two of us perked up, our interest peeked. "When inside he stole an object called the Tesseract". At the mention of the 'Tesseract' Fury threw two files on the table. I eagerly picked mine up and opened it to see a picture of both the Tesseract and Loki, the creator of the Mask . . . My father told us that we had Loki's powers, or at least a cartoony version of them. When Alvey was a baby Loki supposedly tried to get him to go with him to Asgard to be his apprentice and son. Of course Alvey chose our parents, loving them despite the mischief he made for our father as an infant.
"His intensions are unknown other than the fact that he isn't here on the behalf of friendship. A war is imminent and we need to be prepared. So the question is will you willing join SHEILD in stopping him"?
Taking one last bite of my ice cream I put the spoon into the carton and leaned back in my chair. I glanced at my brother and I knew we were thinking the same thing.
The last time my brother faced off with Loki he beat him-as a baby- but in retrospect Loki had probably gone easy on him. After all what was the point of having a dead apprentice, or one that simply resents you for beating the crap out of him?
Unfortunately we would be targets whether we went with Fury or not, for all we know Loki could be looking for us at this very moment. But Fury didn't know that and I intended to keep it that way. If he knew the connection we had with the god he may suspect us of being allies and that didn't bode well with me, not at all.
Besides I didn't want the world to be taken over! If that happened, well . . . I don't have the best imagination but I do know that it wouldn't be a good thing.
So my answer can only be -"Alright, I'm in".
Fury nodded and eyed my brother wearily. "And you"?
Licking his lips Alvey glanced at me and then back again. "If Abigail is going then so am I".
Fury nodded again, his lips curving up at the sides. "Pack your belongings and say your goodbyes. I expect you to meet me out front in twenty".
With that said Fury left with a swish of his stylish trench coat.
Alvey and I wasted no time running into the other room to find our parents. They both immediately shot to their feet when they saw us and pulled us into a tight hug. "What happened?! They're not trying to take you away again are they"?
Pulling back Alvey chose to fill them in, not mentioning the part about Loki trying to take over the world- after all there was no need to worry them. "Are you sure this is a good idea, last time we saw Loki he tried to take you away Alvey", stressed our Dad, worry lines forming on his forehead.
"I'm sure, just promise me to stay inside. I don't want anything to happen to you while we're away", he affirmed, clutching our Mom's hand.
"You're worrying about us", Mom asked, exasperated.
"Of course, Loki might target you because of previous relations . . . besides you two can't take a bullet like we can", I explained.
"I suppose that makes sense ", she muttered recalling the time I accidently shot Alvey had been shot it the forehead.
Licking my lips nervously I quickly stated what I felt I needed to, "Mom, Dad, I need you to give me the Mask, if Loki still wants it I don't want him hurting you to get it".
"But what if he's able to get it from you", asked Dad worriedly.
I shook my head and smiled, "Nothing, the Mask has no effect on him. Remember the Mask grants others Loki's powers. It's of no use to him other than to create mischief among the mortals but with the new threat of children being made of the Mask he more than likely wants it back".
My parents nodded slowly deciding that I was right. Dad came back a minute later with the Mask rapped in a piece of cloth. "Keep good care of it Abby", he said handing it to me.
After receiving the Mask Alvey and I went our separate ways to collect what we'd need for our stay with SHEILD. I personally stuffed a few outfits, toiletries, my phone, and a notebook into my school bag, dumping out all of my collage papers. Lucky for both Alvey and I we finished collage when we were eighteen so we didn't have to worry about missing school while we were away. Sometimes I loved being a child genius, another perk of being born of the Mask I suppose.
Speaking of which, I picked the cloth covered item up from my dresser and slipped it into one of my infinite pockets. As far as I knew Loki couldn't take it or anything else from it so I was safe for now.
Magic is so cool.
Slinging the bag onto my shoulder I went downstairs to meet my family. We exchanged teary goodbyes, us promising to call them after everything was all over.
When we finally reached the creepy car (not a van this time) our spirits were low. It didn't help that we had to endure a car ride with Fury.
After we got in the back seat of the car we were each handed a digital file.
"What's this for, I thought we already saw the files", Alvey asked.
"The paper files you saw contained the rundown of the incident, this on the other hand contains information on the people you will be working with along with more about Loki and the Tesseract".
Nodding in understanding I opened it up eagerly. My eyes widened considerably at the names inside. "We get to work with Tony Stark, Captain America, and Bruce Banner"?!
Fury frowned at us, "You've heard of Banner"?
I looked at Fury as if he was insane, "Of course I've heard of Bruce Banner, what are you crazy"? At the mention of the word 'crazy' several birds flew around Fury's head and a Coo Coo clock chimed in the background. "I studied his work on anti-electronic collisions in college. It's weird, I'd assumed you'd know that since you apparently stalk us and all".
Fury scowled and swatted at the birds until they vanished in a burst of feathers. "Let's get one thing straight, as long as you are staying with SHEILD I don't want any funny business- understood"?
"I make no promises", I replied honestly. Alvey, who had been watching us go back and forth chose this moment to clear his throat, gaining both Fury and my attention.
"So, where are we going"? Fury, who had been glaring at me, turned to my brother with a slightly nicer expression.
"We're headed to the Helicarrier. We'll need to stop at an undisclosed location and take a plane to get there".
"Ok I have no-o idea what a Helicarrier is . . .but it sounds awesome", I exclaimed rainbow glitter exploding in every direction for no reason other than I wanted to piss Fury off.
The other people in the car (being Fury, my brother, and the driver) all blinked, glitter falling from there lashes as they did so. I smiled over at Fury who I now realized had his mouth open at the time and was currently spiting in an attempt to get the glitter out of his mouth.
Meanwhile my brother, who had a good deal of glitter up his nose, suddenly sniffed and drew in several quick breaths.
Fury's eyes widened, "Don't. You. Dare".
But alas, it was too late.
My brother sneezed and the car promptly flew ten feet into the air, the glitter suspended in the air as gravity momentarily turned its back on us.
With a thug the car hit the road several moments later and the driver had to swerve to avoid crashing. When the car was finally going in a straight line again everything was quite.
That is of course until Alvey and I burst out laughing.
Fury scowled at us again, releasing his death grip on the seat. "And Coulson complained about recruiting Stark".
Well there's chapter one for yah. BTW I think I'm in love with that Cuban Pete scene . . . lol!