Chapter 2- Getting To Know You
Mr. and Mrs. Thurston Howell III raised a perfectly coffered eyebrow as they watched Gilligan and the Skipper lead a merry band of travelers through their camp. Mrs. Howell peered at the group, who didn't look too much younger than Mary Ann, through her lorgnette.
"Lovey who are all the riff-raff!" Thurston inquired inquisitively.
"Shu! Thurston be nice. It's been awhile since a good band of riff-raff has visited!" She shushed, going back to examining them carefully through her glasses. Thurston lye back on his makeshift chaise and closed his eyes not wanting to be bothered by all that was wrong with the world.
"Mr. and Mrs. Howell! Mr. and Mrs. Howell!" Gilligan burst. He ran back to them even as the Skipper and the rest of the raggedy bunch had moved on.
"Er...w...w...what!" Mr. Howell grumbled, sitting up and pretending that Gilligan had disturbed him deeply from something of vital importance that he couldn't possibly be pried away from.
"What is it Gilligan my dear?" Lovey asked, ignoring her husband's tantrum.
Gilligan was out of breath now.
"Mr. and Mrs. Howell, Mr. an..."
"Gilligan we know that part."
"Yes my boy we know who we are now will you get to the point?"
"Those guys, they've got a boat!"
"A boat! Oh Thurston isn't that magnificent?"
"Lovey calm down." Thurston warned as Gilligan walked away to rejoin the crowd. "Remember how many other people have come here with a boat!'
"Oh yes you're quite right Thurston, doesn't always end up being some kind of life raft!" She was alarmed at this possibility.
"Yes dear, yes it does!"
"Well that simply won't do!"
"Of course not."
"We'll wait for the Queen Mary!"
"Or..." Lovey could barely say it. "Even the coast guard cutter!"
"Coast guard cutter! War, what is it good for, absolutely nothing!" Joe burst, rushing back over to them, mention of the military often made him unreasonably, militantly angry. Ever since the war in Vietnam had started he didn't want anything to do with the military, plus he was also high as a kite.
"Joe, nobody said anything about war! I apologize for my boyfriend's behavior. He's a bit much. I'm Caroline Brown. Oh my goodness, Thurston Howell III?" Caroline ran after her boyfriend as she rolled her eyes. Once she had stopped running she introduced herself to the multi millionaire, so embarrassed by Joe's behavior.
"Of course it's Thurston Howell!" Charlotte added.
"Of course you'd know him anywhere!" Caroline said to her friend who was quite knowledgeable about finance.
"Well of course. I mean, look here he is now!" Charlotte said, pulling her copy of the latest Wall Street Journal out of her messenger bag.
The Howells leaned over to peer at the girl's paper. Within an instant, Mr. Howell snatched the paper out of Charlotte's hand, startling her, Caroline and Lovey immensely. He began to laugh as if sharing a private joke with himself as he read over the headline.
"Look, it's the wolf of wall street! Dear old me he's done it again! And he's not even there!"
"May I have the paper when you are finished Mr. Howell?" Caroline asked.
"You read the Wall Street Journal?" Thurston was ecstatic.
"I don't read the Wall Street Journal! It's a bloody capitalist newspaper!',exclaimed Charles, who was running over to the group. Gilligan ran over with him and Mahalia walked with the Skipper, wondering why it was again that her girl friends decided to go on spring break with Joe & Charles.
"Well, hello to you too!" Caroline's face was red with embarrassment for the second time in two minutes. When would Charles and Joe ever learn to act like gentlemen ? Charlotte thought the answer to that was never. Caroline knew that too, but wished Joe would grow up.
"Mr. Howell, I don't share Charles's hatred. I rarely read the Wall Street Journal though. I just like to read something different once and awhile."
"I thought you were one of us!" Charles was very upset.
"I don't believe everything you do. You and Joe are extremists!"
"They're freaks if you ask me...trying to undermine everything most people believe in..." Charlotte said. The guys knew she felt this way about them and almost never protested.
"Why don't ya'll take a chill pill!" Mahalia couldn't stand them either, but didn't have the nerve to say anything stronger
"It's my copy...you can just have it Mr. Howell." Charlotte graciously offered.
Lovey smiled, she knew this would win Thurston over forever. She thought Caroline and Charlotte seemed like such nice girls. not at all like those horrid boys. Bloody capitalists? Eeeek! People who talked like that disgusted her. After all, without 'bloody capitalists' around, they wouldn't have the freedom to knock capitalism in the first place. It was too bad they weren't smart enough to realize it. Lovey continued to fan herself, and watched the scene casually, planning on holding all commentary until much, much later, perhaps when she got a chance to have a discussion with these three young ladies...probably about why they were with these hooligans.
"So are there any other people on this island?",Caroline asked the Skipper.
"Yes, there's Ginger Grant, Mary Ann and the Professor. Let's go meet them for dinner. Gilligan prepared some fish, right Gilligan?"
"A professor! What's he a professor of?" Caroline hoped he was a professor of the Social Sciences. It would be fun to talk to one. She hated science,math, logical and quantitative things.
Charlotte, on that same token, always got into fights with philosophy professors and hoped he wasn't that either.
"Oh the Professor's real smart! He's all sorts of things!" Gilligan babled ignorantly, he'd never really noticed what type of professor the professor was.
"Ginger Grant, the movie star! She's a better looking redhead than Lulu", said Charles. Mahalia raised an eyebrow. This comment certainly brought some jealousy to the forefront. But she carefully tucked it away, hoping no one would notice that this pained her a little.
Caroline felt like bursting out into "To Sir With Love", but didn't. She loved that movie.
Mahalia loved it too. She had a crush on Sidney Poitier.
Caroline didn't care about Ginger. She would have preferred if Judy Garland or Julie Andrews were on the island. The group went to dinner, where they thought some perfectly cooked fish would be there, but cooking was not a strength of Gilligan's.
"Mary Ann, Professor, Ginger, They're some people here, with a boat!", Gilligan exclaimed.
"A boat, oh how wonderful!",exclaimed Mary Ann. After just getting over the food poisoning they'd all had, Mary Ann was thinking that they could use a good type of excitement, and a bunch of people around her age with a boat certainly qualified as that!
"Oh, a boat! California here I come!",exclaimed Ginger emerging from her hut.
"Right back where I started from." Gilligan laughed, humming this to himself under his breath.
"A boat, that's wonderful. I can't wait to go back to my students and research!" Burst the Professor.
"Go back?!" Cried Joe, "We're never going back! I'm king of this island!"
"No your not, I am!" Gilligan cried. "Why else would they call it Gilligan's Island?!"
"Gilligan." The Skipper cautioned. "No one calls it that."
"Well fine then, the Skipper's in charge here..."
"Don't worry about it mate, he's just bloody off his rocker that's all. He'll be fine when the mary jane wears off and he comes back down to earth."
"Mary Jane?" Gilligan questioned. "He's wearing tennis shoes!"
"Not that kind of Mary Jane old chap!" Charles laughed, and then refocused his attention on Ginger Grant.
"Hello I'm Caroline Brown." Caroline shook Ginger, Mary Ann and the Professor's hands.
"Nice to meet you, Caroline." I'm Dr. Roy Hinkley. Could you do me a favor and call me Dr. Hinkley? I worked so hard to get that title, so I'd appreciate it."
"He's a professor and he works hard for a title? If I'm a professor I'll really go to work to end the arrogance on campus",declared Charlotte. That's certainly not she would feel about the situation if she were The Professor. Despite being the ardent conservative in the situation, she'd be one of those Professors who go casual and ask their students to call them by their first names only...like they do in California or at Wellesley
"I'm Caroline Brown and I approve this message."
Everyone looked at her confused.
"Sorry I'm just so excited for campaign season to begin! This is my friend Charlotte, my friend Mahalia and my boyfriend Joe and his friend Charles",Caroline explained. She thought the introductions should've been given at the beginning. Here everyone was talking amongst themselves without introductions. The other castaways must have not enjoyed the small talk among the college students, she thought.
So, we're having fish for dinner?",asked Caroline.
"Fish man, like my favorite band, Country Joe And The Fish! Give me a F... he continued to spell out Fish and was about to launch into the the anti-Vietnam war song, when Caroline nudged him in the ribs. All she wanted to do was talk with Mrs. Howell and the Professor and have dinner. She was hungry.
"Yes it's high time we have dinner. I'll go get the Muscato",said Lovey.
"Mrs. Howell, is it sweet or semi-sweet?",asked Caroline who had some sweet Muscato the other day when her aunt took her out to dinner and the theatre and fell in love with it.
"It's sweet,dear. Do you like sweet Muscato?"
"Very much, Mrs. Howell. I also like Riesling."
"Oh me too, White wine tastes much better than Red."
"I agree, Mrs. Howell. It's all I've liked since I've turned 21." Caroline replied. She went off to dinner thinking she may soon have another grandmotherly figure/friend, A relationship she had with many church friends.
"Good heavens, what is that?!" Mrs. Howell burst. She and the girls looked up into the trees above them.
Joe was standing, wearing just his pants, up in a tree and was preparing to start swinging from tree to tree. He was singing about his long beautiful hair.
"Joe, be careful!, remember you aren't Tarzan!" Caroline warned, afraid for his safety.
Charlotte rolled her eyes and Mrs. Howell was appalled.
"He's obviously a Yale man!" Mr. Howell exclaimed.
"There he goes...Joe of the Jungle." Charlotte commented as Joe made his way through the canopy of trees above and into the jungle.
"Dinner time!" Gilligan called from a distance.
"Oh great, a dinner made by Gilligan." Mr. Howell bristled. "I'd rather be a Yale man...yucko!"