The Star Trek Original Series Uchronia
Author's note: Uchronia means an alternate history or hypothetical or fictional time-period of our world so I haven't used the exact meaning in my title but I thought it was close enough to parallel universe and I was trying to get a title similar to the titles of the Big Bang Theory episodes which I love.
I've given Penny a last name as she hasn't got one in the show (although apparently it is going to be revealed eventually), as obviously the Big Bang Theory gang would know it.
Chapter One - The Fancy Dress Party
"What do you think?" asked Penny as she, Bernadette and Amy came through the door into Leonard and Sheldon's apartment. Leonard, Raj and Howard gaped, open mouthed, speechless at seeing the three young women in Star Trek The Original Series uniforms. It was like a fantasy come true. Amy in particular, was a revelation. The close fitting top and short skirt showed off her figure and her long legs and her hair had been swept up into a bun, which showed off her cheekbones. However, Sheldon was oblivious to this.
"I'm glad to see that you're wearing reasonably accurate copies of Star Trek, The Original Series uniforms," he observed.
"Now, let me see if I can guess who you are," said Leonard. He surveyed the young women. "Amy, you're wearing a blue dress so I'm assuming. …Nurse Chapell?"
"Correct," agreed Amy.
"Bernadette, you're in red. Uhura?"
"Yes," squeaked Bernadette, "Howie asked me to be Lieutenant Uhura."
"Lieutenant Uhura was black," commented Sheldon
"What do you want her to do?" asked Howard aggressively, "Black up?"
Sheldon looked as if he was quite willing to suggest this but Leonard jumped in by saying "And we all know how inappropriate that would be. Penny, let me see, the only other female member of the crew ever regularly seen, Yeoman Janice Rand?"
"Yes, but what did she do?" asked Penny.
"Oh, just a dull routine job, brought the captain log reports and coffee, much like your job in the Cheesecake Factory," Sheldon told her. "So, excellent choice Penny."
"Gee, thanks," she muttered sarcastically.
"And Captain Kirk had the hots for her," added Howard to Raj with a meaningful look at Leonard that he pretended not to notice.
"These dresses are rather short," observed Amy, tugging at hers. "Clearly an attempt to objectify women."
"But your legs do look great," said Leonard warmly. Neither Penny nor Sheldon looked pleased at that.
"That is an inappropriate remark to make to my girlfriend, Leonard," Sheldon told him.
"So who are you all meant to be?" asked Bernadette brightly, trying to change the conversation. "Let me see, Sheldon, you're Mr Spock, aren't you?"
"Well done," said Sheldon approvingly.
"And Nurse Chapell had the hots for him," Leonard informed Penny in a whisper.
Bernadette carried on, "Leonard, who are you supposed to be?"
"Captain Kirk," said Leonard proudly.
"And I'm Sulu," broke in Howard, unable to contain himself any more. " I should really be Scotty because he's the engineer but I'm too young and hip to play him."
Penny choked a little but said nothing. "And Raj is Chekhov," he finished.
"Shouldn't you be Sulu as you're Asian?" asked Sheldon.
Raj scowled. "That's a very racist remark to make. You haven't said Bernadette couldn't be Uhura because she's white and Uhura's black."
"Actually, I just did," Sheldon reminded him.
Well, you look very handsome as Chekhov," said Bernadette, trying to placate Raj. It was Howard's turn to scowl; he hadn't forgotten that Raj had a soft spot for Bernadette.
"You all do," said Penny suddenly realising what Bernadette was trying to do.
"Bet everyone will be jealous of us walking in with three hot chicks," commented Howard. He was trying in his way to be gallant.
"That's right, rub it in, I haven't got a girlfriend," muttered Raj.
"Everyone will be jealous of us walking in with females, period," replied Leonard.
"Hey, is this fancy dress party going to be really lame? There will be alcohol right? You promised me alcohol," said Penny anxiously.
"Relax Penny," Leonard told her, "there will be plenty of booze".
"Thank God for that," breathed Penny who was starting to have serious doubts about the party.
When they arrived at the party, Penny's worst fears were realised. It was only half full but that half was all geeky guys.
"So where are the drinks?" she demanded.
Stuart, the comic bookstore owner, dressed as the Green Lantern, was quietly boasting to a couple of acquaintances.
"See those Star Trek girls, well, I've dated two of them."
"Did anyone ask where the drinks are?" asked Zack, dressed as Superman, looming up with a beer can in each hand.
"Perfect timing," said Penny, grabbing one of them much to Kripke's annoyance as Zack had gone to get himself and Kripke, who was dressed as Batman, both a beer. In fact it annoyed Kripke so much he put into action a little plan that he had been mulling over for the last few days. He slipped over to the punch bowl and filled several glasses with punch. Then he took a small black bottle from his batbelt and added the contents of the bottle to the glasses. Then he put them on a tray and suggested to Stuart that he take them over to the Leonard crowd. Stuart agreed, pleased to have the chance to demonstrate that he knew the girls.
"Is this alcoholic?" asked Sheldon suspiciously.
"No," lied Stuart who had not quite forgiven Sheldon for ruining his date with Amy and then becoming her boyfriend. Penny who had already picked up a glass, hesitated then drank it down in one go; she didn't want to hurt Stuart's feelings. Raj didn't pick up a glass as he was determined to get drunk as quickly as possible in case any other girls turned up. They all drank some of the punch except for Stuart who didn't like punch. Suddenly, they began to twitch and jerk. Kripke was laughing nearby. Then they all just as suddenly stopped and went rigid. Raj who had been staring in astonishment at their antics, asked anxiously, "What's up with you guys?"
Captain James Tiberius Kirk did not know where he was. Last thing he remembered was he and his landing party beaming up from Scaros V back to the Enterprise. Now he stood facing a crowd of young people all in fancy dress. A young Asian man from the Indian sub-continent dressed weirdly enough as a Star Fleet helm officer asked him, "Leonard, are you ok?" Kirk looked at him in confusion and said nothing.
"Can't you talk?" asked a young thin man dressed as a pirate.
"Can't any of you talk?" asked the young Asian man raising his voice. "Howard? Bernadette?"
"I can talk," said Kirk. "I'm ok."
He wanted to calm down the young Asian man before he called attention to them. To his
Surprise, his voice sounded completely different from normal, younger with a different accent and more nasal. A young stocky dark haired young man dressed all in black, wearing a mask with a yellow bat insignia on his chest and a black cloak, stood laughing nearby.
"Kripke, did you put something in the punch?" called out the young pirate. Kripke, still laughing, nodded.
"But that's really dangerous," fretted the young Asian man.
"Welax Waj, it's just something to relax your inhibitions for a couple of hours. No lasting effects. My buddy who works in phawmaceuticals gave it to me. It's harmless."
"How do you know that for sure?" demanded Raj (so that was the name of the young Asian guy). He swung back to Kirk and the others.
"Can you see ok? Do you even know who you are?"
Kirk looked at the four other people standing nearby who he presumed were the rest of his landing party. There was a tall gangling young man with obviously fake Vulcan ears, a small skinny young man dressed as a science officer, a tiny blonde woman, a taller blonde and a tall, dark haired woman. He did not know who any of them were.
"First Officer Spock," said the tall young man.
"Lieutenant Sulu," said the small thin young man.
"Lieutenant Uhura," said the tiny blonde.
"Nurse Chapell," answered the tall brunette.
"Yeoman Rand," said the taller blonde.
"No, that's the name of your costume," said Raj impatiently. "Your real name?"
Kirk strained to remember how he had been addressed.
"Leonard," he replied eventually. Raj and the pirate turned to the others. "And your real names?" they chorused together. The others looked at each other and Kirk.
"Oh my God, they don't even know their own names!" cried Raj hysterically.
"Calm down Waj," advised Kripke, "They're just pulling your chain."
"That's not funny, guys!" exclaimed Raj.
Kirk decided that he would have come clean. "We do know our names. I am Captain James T Kirk of the Starship Enterprise. This is my first officer Spock, Lieutenant Sulu, Lieutenant Uhura, Nurse Chapell and Yeoman Rand."
"They really do think that they are the Star Trek characters!" said Stuart.
"This is hilarious," said Kripke starting to laugh again.
The tall young man (who was really Spock) asked Raj and Stuart. "Who do you think we are?"
" Leonard Hofstadter, Sheldon Cooper, Howard Wolowitz, Penny Lane, Bernadette Rostenkowski and Amy Farrah-Fowler," replied Raj.
"And what are we doing here?"
"You're at a fancy dress party," was the reply.
"I suggest," said Spock, "that we assume that the effects of this drug will be short-lived and that we will be restored to normality in a few hours or at the worst by tomorrow morning."
"Yeah, my friend said that it only lasts for a few hours," confirmed Kripke.
Raj shrugged. "Ok then but I'll be watching to make sure that they are all right."
"Hey, if they think that they really are the characters from Star Trek The Original Series, we could ask them questions about themselves," suggested Stuart.
"That would be wrong, taking advantage of my friends like that," said Raj severely. Then he giggled. "But it would be fun," he added.
By this time, Zack, Wil Wheaton and Lesley Winkle had joined the group.
"I'm hurt, Sheldon, no one from The Next Generation good enough for you?" Wil joked, his hand on his heart.
"He thinks he really is Spock," Stuart explained to him. Leslie began to laugh.
"Lets hope it's an improvement," she said. "Although how could it fail to be?"