Description: A comical piece about Ran beating up Heiji. It's meant for laughs XD. Also, this is a one-shot. So don't ask for more chapters. :D

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It was a hot, sunny day. Conan and Ran were visiting Heiji and Kazuha at a park in Osaka. After about 25 seconds of happily exchanging stories, things already began heating up.

"Jeez, Ran, you really need to break up with that Shinichi guy. He doesn't even see you." Kazuha scolded.

"Well, I'm never going to give up on him, and that's that," Ran declared.

Heiji eyed Conan suspiciously, who was turning red at the ears.

"Maybe you could give him a call now," Heiji said, a slight grin forming. "For all you know, he could be cheating on you and be making out with some cute girl."

Ran blushed. "Ok, but you guys stay out of this." She walked away from the group and sat down on a bench.

"Ah-potty! I gotta go!" Conan yelled and ran off. Heiji burst out laughing.

"What's so funny!?" Kazuha complained. "This is a very important moment for Ran! Stop laughing!"

"Oh-uh, I-I was just laughing at the author's clever pun with the word "ran", not at the fact that Conan is actu-"

"Shush!" Kazuha whispered. "All you ever do is talk and laugh! If we stay quiet, we might hear some parts of Ran's conversation! Go sneak up closer to her and tell me what's happening."

Heiji slowly tiptoed over to Ran. After hiding behind a tree for ten seconds, he popped out and positioned himself so that he was sitting behind Ran.

"Shinichi, what are you doing? You didn't come back yet, even after 15 years of episodes, OVAs and movies!"

"Uh..."Conan(Shinichi) stammered. "Well, you see, I went to America for an important case, but the animators were too lazy to pay for the airplane fee to get me back, so, I'm kinda-"

"WELL, I DON'T CARE!" Ran yelled. "I'M SO ANGRY I CAN PUNCH THE NEAREST THING TO ME!"

Which was, unfortunately, Heiji's head.

"GAAAAH!" Heiji yelled. "Way to go all Naruto on me."

Ran glared. "Goodbye, Shinichi. I'll call later." She hung up. "Now, what were you doing behind the bench? You weren't trying to look at anything, right!?" Ran demanded. "And that Naruto reference was horrible! Neji is, like, 9000 times better! You deserve to die!"

"C-c-come on! You got it wrong!" Heiji stammered. "I'll even write a song about this if you don't hurt me!"

Ran put on the worst poker face in history.

"Did you just...I don't believe it. You attempted to quote One Direction." Ran balled up her fists. "For that, YOU ARE GOING TO DIE, AS WILL ALL ONE DIRECTION FANS!"

Heiji's eyes darted from left to right. "Help me, Kazuha!" he squealed. Instead, she stood at a safe distance, giggling and taking a video so that she could post it on Facebook.

"In the name of Neji, prepare to die!" Ran came charging at him. At that moment, Heiji's kendo instincts came in. With Hammerspace on his side, he pulled out a large wooden sword from behind his back and prepared for the fight of his life.

Long story short, Heiji had to be sent to the hospital for cracked ribs, a broken leg and a damaged scrotum.

Ran also burnt a tree in the process.