So many fetishes, so little time.
These fetishes weren't going as planned. Maybe this list wasn't the best one to go by. Dan didn't think people actually had Hirsutophilia - a fetish revolving around armpit hair. But maybe Dan should pick one that is more relevant to Phil. Podophilia - the foot fetish. Phil liked socks, so Phil probably liked feet too.
It didn't work. Last night in bed when Dan tried to lick Phil's toes... Phil had kicked him right in the mouth. Time to move on to a less dangerous fetish.
Okay well, aren't all fetishes dangerous? Pyrolagnia - getting aroused while watching fire. Fire wasn't the safest fetish, but it probably floated someone's boat. Dan lit the fire place and him and Phil had sit on the couch staring at it for 2 hours. Neither of them were aroused.
Finally, Dan had found a nice fetish... or as nice as fetishes can get. Plushophilia - the fetish of being aroused by stuffed toys. Phil had lots of little plush animals. Maybe his little stuffed lions turned him on?
Another negative. Phil did not want his lions in bed with them.
There were many more fetishes and kinks after that. All of which either made Phil laugh or made Phil sleep on the couch.
Oculolinctus - the fetish of licking their partner's eyeball: You can just imagine how that one had worked out.
Vorarephilia - Fantasies about being swallowed alive: Dan had made a blanket fort, placed Phil in the center, jumped on top of Phil and all of the blankets, and then started to make gulping noises.
Robotism - wanting robots involved in sex play: He had made robot noises while they were having sex.
Autonephioplia - the fetish of wearing diapers: Phil had openly laughed when Dan had come into the room, wearing nothing but an adult diaper. Dan had offered one to Phil too, but he had declined.
Dan didn't know where else to turn to, the list was dwindling down.
Agalmatophilia - being aroused to Statues/manikins: He was resorting to fetishes that made no sense and Phil wasn't attracted to any of them.
Chrysophilia - being attracted to gold or gold colored objects: And even if Dan's favorite color was gold, that didn't mean it was a good fetish. Dan had dressed himself in all plastic, gold jewelry that he had gotten at the dollar store. Phil had been the wrong a-word. Amused not aroused.
Forniphilia - turning a human being into a piece of furniture: Dan had told Phil that he was a chair and that Phil had to sit on him.
By this point, Dan was almost entirely out of ideas. Phil hadn't reacted positively to any of the many fetishes. So Dan had come to the conclusion, he should just ask Phil what his fetishes are.
He came to find Phil, yet again, sitting on the couch in the living room.
"Phil, what are your fetishes? Your kinks?"
Phil looked at him and sat there silently for a moment. Then Phil started to laugh again. He started to laugh harder than he had in the past two weeks of Dan's fetish mission.
"You're my fetish, Dan. Your personality, your eyes, your smile. You're all I need."
Later that night when Dan had promised to stop trying to find different kinks and both had set off to bed, Dan looked at the last kink on his list before deleting the file.
Zwischenstufe - being attracted to a person of the same sex.
Yup, he and Phil were both really gay. That was their only fetish from that list. But... Dan had never actually tried out bondage.