Chapter 10: Sometimes it's so hard to say goodbye
It now has been about 5 minutes and I've been crying the whole time. The only thing I was really glad for right now was that Adriana was there to comfort me. She really didn't need to but that's why she's one of my best friends because she does things without being asked too. I now stopped crying my eyes out and looked around to see if anyone noticed me, luckily though there was really no one in the Café anymore. Adriana now stood up ready to leave, but before she did she reassured me that everything would be okay.
Adriana: "I know I'm not the one wisest person, and that this isn't my place to say this. Loren just always remember that even though life seems to be rough right now everything will work itself out in the end.
Loren: "When exactly will the "end" be for me Adriana, and why can't I be happy for just a day or second."
Adriana: "Loren listen I have to go my Dad is totally bugging me right now, but Loren just remember things will end up being better soon. Just give it time and everything will work out to your benefit trust me. Anyways by Lo see you later love you."
Loren: "Bye Adriana love you too have a good day."
With that Adriana gave me a friendly hug then left the Café. I decided I really needed to think about what I wanted to do next in my life. Should I forgive Eddie, or should I get back together with Tyler." Many questions were running through my mind, but the only place I could actually go to think straight was my "spot."
I now had arrived at my and Loren's "spot." I really needed to think on what I could possibly do to win Loren back. I really needed to do everything in my power now to win back her heart. My life has felt like a complete wreck without her, and after she said what she said at the Café that made me feel worst. I truly never meant to hurt her intentionally, but some things happen for a reason. After sitting in my car and thinking about my mistakes I finally got out. As soon as I got off the car I hit the side door of my car, because I was so mad at myself for the mistakes I had made. Who knew that I could make so many mistakes in one day? I wish I could take back everything that has happened these past few days and just let Loren be in my arms again. I remember the last time I was up here with her we were laughing together. I now smiled at the memory and I also thought about how things change so fast. Just a few months ago I was happily engaged with Chloe, but sooner or later we called off the engagement. Now here I am today being the one to ruin my one shot at true love. I now know not to take anything for granted anymore, because who know how long everything lasts. I now was walking up to the spot in the hills so I could think clearly. Fortunately this time I was actually thinking clearly, not like the last time when I sent Loren that awful text message. The words in that text didn't even sound remotely like me, but they actually were from me this made me feel disgusted with myself. I now took a seat on the ground and just scribbled some words in the dirt. The words that I had drown in the ground were "Loren if you're up here in this very spot right now I'm sorry the pain I have caused you I sent that text out of despite over what happened between you and Tyler please forgive me Loren please." I was going to continue writing but there was no more space to write. I now began to shed a tear or two about how much of a careless person I could be at times. Just as I was about to get my phone out and actually call Loren, I then heard somebody walking up behind me they sounded like they had been crying too. I turn around with my phone in my hand only to see Loren. I now put my phone back in my pocket quickly and then ran over to her.
Eddie: "Loren I'm so glad you're here how did you know I would be up here?"
Loren: "Wow here we go with more lies I clearly remember in the text you sent me that you wanted nothing to do with me."
Eddie: "Loren I just sent that text because my head wasn't in the right place, and I swear if I could go back and change time I would." Loren now looked like she had been crying for several days, and I wish I wouldn't be seeing her like this it hurt me so much.
Loren: "Eddie its fine you said the truth in that text and I now know that I'm worthless to anybody and everybody that I care about. You probably were just my friend for the time being because you felt bad for me. After all Tyler left me my Dad left me, and now you're going to leave me.
Eddie: What Loren had just said made me feel like the most stupid person on earth. How could I be so blind not to see the tremendous hurt I had caused her? I now ran up to Loren and held her by her waist and looked deeply into her eyes. "Loren don't you ever say that again you hear me all those people that left you are stupid, heck I'm even stupider for doing what I did to you but Loren stop blaming yourself for all the pain."
Loren: "I can't help it Eddie it hurts so much that I can't help but blame myself.
Eddie: Loren now began to cry in my chest and I could feel the tears slowly drop on my shirt. Suddenly though she stopped crying and said something to me.
Loren: "I thought you said you wouldn't be there for me when I was hurt."
Eddie: "Like I said before Loren I meant nothing I said in that text. I'm not done with you, and you could always come to me when you need to cry. Most importantly though I want you in my life I need you in my life.
Loren: "Eddie even though I'm still mad at you it's still really hard to not be smiling at what you just said.
Eddie: "Loren when you were at the Café and you were talking to your friend about the hurt I caused you, I honestly felt like the worst person on earth. I never want to hurt you like that again because I now know I don't want to be without you anymore. You know why I feel this way?"
Eddie: "I feel this way because I love you."
I now cupped Loren's face in my hands and leaned forward, and with that I gave Loren a light yet passionate kiss. She didn't seem resistant at first, but as soon as we started kissing for about one minute she seem to be as stiff as a board.
Eddie: I then pulled back and to my surprise she was surprised that I had pulled back. "Loren what's wrong you seem as stiff as a board right now.
Loren: "Eddie I don't think I could do this."
Eddie: Loren then let go of me and crossed her arms. "What do you mean you can't do this, is it the kiss listen Loren I'm sorry if I scared you away but it felt so right.
Loren: "That's what you said last time and then you end up breaking my heart."
Eddie: "That was last time and now were in the present so can you please let that go."
Loren: "Eddie I can't let that go you know the pain you caused me."
Eddie seemed to be a little taken back that I pulled away from him. Honestly the kiss felt so right, but at the same time it felt sort of morally wrong. After Eddie did what he did I think he needs to try something else to win me back. Eddie and I have now been arguing for quite a while now, and then we finally stopped yelling when he asked a serious question.
Eddie: "So what does this mean for us Loren.'?"
Loren: "Eddie it's so hard to say this but I think we should just keep this relationship strictly business. We could be friends too but I'm afraid were that will lead.
Eddie: "What are you trying to say Loren?"
Loren: "What I'm trying to say is that I'm tired of you hurting me and most importantly confusing the hell out of me. I think we should just keep our distance from now on. You could call and text once in a while but that's it, and I mean this Eddie I can't risk getting hurt anymore.
Eddie: "Fine if that's the way you want it then I will willingly agree.
Don't worry guys leddie will be together soon, but I'm not going to make that happen till probably chapter 18. I still want to make a few things happen before they get together. So be patient and keep reading because there's a lot more suprises coming your way.