For Becky, because she needs inspiring.
Sorry, I haven't updated. But, I just read all the reviews I've got so thank you to each and every one of you who gave me one! Anyway, here we go:
It seemed I was ready, because somehow I didn't feel like doing anything yet. Like going to work, like doing anything; like bothering. I'd lost interest in things that used to motivate me, I had no motivation, I felt so down all the time, I felt distressed. I felt depressed.
I didn't meant to feel it anymore, but that was the problem. I had become intolerant to the drug, I couldn't have any more. It wasn't making any difference. I was still feeling.
And feeling hurt.
Feeling this bad.
Feeling so much pent up anger, pain, unhappiness, helplessness.
I knew it was a stupid thing to do the second I picked up the razor from the cabinet in the bathroom.
But somehow I was,
"Claire? Are you in the bathroom?" Eve said, from outside the door.
"Yeah, sorry, do you need it?" I said, my voice shook slightly.
"Nah, I'm good. Are you alright CB?" she said, and I heard the concern in her voice, the way she spoke I opened my mouth,
"She's fine, probably just staring at herself in the mirror." Shane said, I could hear the snide remarks in his tone.
"I'm fine Eve." I was a mess, restless, sad, unhappy, most likely depressed.I heard their footsteps fade away.
My fate was sealed.
I stared at the pink razor, it had two blades, each one sharp enough to do some damage.
I carefully rubbed it against my wrist.
Nothing happened, except a faint stinging sensation. A stinging sensation that hurt, but somehow drowned everything else out.I dragged it against my skin again, the pain intensified slightly.
No cut had appeared yet, stupid women's razor.
I put the razor back, the only sign on my wrist I'd done anything a faint redness.
I sat on the toilet, the realisation hitting me.
I'd just purposely self harmed.I'd just tried to hurt myself.
I looked at my wrist, and there were two small cuts on my wrist, were I'd dragged it across.
They stung, and they were bleeding slightly.
I stared in fascination at the beads of blood, before taking a piece of toilet roll and holding it to the two oozing cuts.
I'd just self harmed.
And suddenly I felt guilty, and then I felt better, because I didn't feel so bad, and then I smiled.
Because I wasn't feeling so bad anymore- what was wrong with me?
The lab was dark, darker then I'd thought it could be.
And I couldn't find the light switch; damn.
Stumbling around I soon hit a table and tried to find my bearing, having walked downstairs I'd come hit a table, at the bottom of the stairs. I couldn't find a reason in my head why a table was here, and the lights hadn't switched on. Well this was just fine and dand-
"Why is there a cut on your wrist?" He said, my hand already ensnared in his grip.
"What?" I said, trying to see him in the darkness, his pupils were so big I couldn't see his eyes.
"Why have you an intercession upon your wrist Claire? Do not lie, I can smell it, I can feel it." He said, dragging me over the table to stand in front of him.
I could feel his strong grip on my wrist, I could feel how fast my heart was beating.
"Because." I said, my voice sounding sadder then I thought it should. His grip left my wrist and the lights turned on, flickering on. He was stood by the switch, his eyes were dark, his face unsure. It made me sad to think it was him, not Shane that cared.
Sad, but with a strange bubble inside me.
"I felt you cut your wrist Claire, I felt the pain. I felt your body scream out as you did it. Why did you?" He said, standing in front of me, his face mere inches from mine.
"Because it made me feel better." I whispered.
I was crushed to his chest, the smell that was him wafting through my nostrils. Old, masculine, new, chemical Myrnin.
I felt myself lift ads I inhaled his scent, his arms wrapped around me in a protective hug. I hesitantly wrapped mine round him to, I felt him stiffen slightly, before relaxing into it, his head resting on mine.
"Why did you do it Claire?"
"It made me feel less, the drugs don't work anymore." I said, he sighed and pulled back, staring at my face. His eyes were pensive, sad. But still there.
He looked down at me, and then his lips were suddenly on mine and all I felt was surprise…
And then I couldn't fell anything except his lips on mine; bliss.
Voila! It's not that long, but I can't force it to write itself, my inspiration has dried up somewhat; please review!