I wrote this for a prompt years back, so the writing style is really flawed but it's betaed by the lovely
What if you'd never have met Brian Kinney? If you would never have had something to do with him? What if he hadn't taken your 17-year-old son with him? Fucked him. You cannot believe you can finally force yourself to speak out these words. Admit that this is what he did. What if he never would have fucked him? Never played such an important part in Justin's life?
He took your son and hurt him. He pretended Justin meant nothing to him, even though he knew he was just fooling himself. Brian took every illusion, ever naïve image of love from your son. He took part of his youth, his freedom, his light heartedness. What would have happened?
Justin wouldn't have gotten bashed on his prom, nearly got killed; he wouldn't have tried desperately to get Brian's attention. He wouldn't have been devastated after Brian pushed him away again; hurt him repeatedly, abandoned him. If it wasn't by Brian, Justin wouldn't have gotten pushed away from someone he loved so much, when he would only have tried to help him, be his backup, build up something with him.
Maybe Justin woundn't have made Craig see red, wouldn't have forsaken his father and maybe would not even have had such a disatrous fight with his family.
These are things that went through your head a long time. Months, years maybe.
And when you think about Brian Kinney today and try to imagine that everything would have happened nevertheless?
Without Brian Justin would maybe have died, without him he wouldn't have found his shelter. Maybe he wouldn't have stood up, from point zero. From nothing. From the ground. If it weren't for him, Justin might have decided, to never stand up again. Wouldn't have had the will to, not have been able to. Maybe he would have ditched his art, not because of a lack of ambition but because of lack of the strength to go on.
Without Brian he wouldn't have survived that his father abandoned him, maybe would have done something stupid, something tragic, when he found out that many people don't accept him for what he is, for his sexual orientation or maybe for his being.
Often, and you can't believe you're saying this; Brian was the one that put some sense in Justin's head. BECAUSE he let him learn, let him crash against a wall. Because he never made it easy for him, to reach under his skin, in his heart and because he showed him indirectly what he can achieve if he never gives up.
And when you look at Brian and he tells you that Justin refused his proposal you feel uncomfortable, almost embarrassed. And you promise yourself you'll ask your son what the fuck happened to his head when he refused this man. This man, who symbolized the world for him and grew to his heart, whether you like it or not. Why did he refuse the man of his dreams after he finally tried to achieve perfection for him?