Kerosene chapter one

APRIL year 1: Blayre

"I told you I didn't care and you know that it's not true," Mitch explained to me again. Mitch was my boyfriend, and we had never really gotten into a fight before. Maybe argued, but not fighting. And this is really new and I'm not fond of it when it's in an Olive Garden parking lot and he's my ride home.

"So what? He called me a controlling bitch and you sit there and laugh! How supportive is that?" I glared at him, and while he tried to put his hands on my waist and hold me in an I'm-sorry-baby manner, I slipped his hands off.

He stood back at me in shock. "What the hell?"


"You won't even let me touch you, rather talk to you anymore!"

"Get used to it, because that's all you will ever get from me if you don't shape up. And maybe playing footsie with Ally when we were eating was a break, huh?"

"First, Ally was playing with me and I was trying to fend her off. Second, no, I'm not going to shape up. Not ever, ever, ever in my life just so some hormonal bitch can use me to tell all her problems to and expect me to do something about it."

I bit my lip, trying not to cry. Some people in the parking lot stopped what they were doing, witnessing it all go down. I took a deep breath. A tear rolled down my face, letting him win.

"Maybe we should just-"

Mitch cut me off. "Yeah, we should."

"Should what?" I asked, knowing the answer anyways.

"Should be done," He said it slowly and unsure at first. He repeated the concept again, to confirm it. "We are over."



"Don't go," I pleaded. The thundering dark clouds gathered up in the sky, and sprinkles began to come down.

He grabbed his keys out of his pocket. "You're going to need a ride from somebody else."

"But it's 30 miles from my house and there's a storm!" I started to cry a little bit harder, feeling so helpless and numb inside. Right now, I just wanted to be in his arms, and I wished I didn't push him away.

"Should've said less." His chin shook, and he tightened his jaw so it didn't make him look weak.

"Please, Mitch. I'm sorry. Just don't leave without me."

"Um, I don't know."

Ally started jogging out from the restaurant, leaving Ryan lonely and mad that she's not into him, and approaching Mitch. The sprinkles became moderate rain.

"Guys, it's so fuckin' cold out and I have no ride home!" She yelled, her tight white shirt starting to become soaked. Her cheetah pink bra started to show even more, considering she must've taken off her hoodie to attempt to seduce Mitch.

I rolled my eyes at her pathetic attempt.

"Oh, I could take you." Mitch said, smiling, and opening his truck's passenger door.

"What about, um, Bell?" she tossed her long fake blonde extensions back behind her hair, and smiled with her bleached perfect teeth.

"Who?" Mitch and I asked in unison.

"Bell," she looked at me with her icy blue eyes. "You."

"It's Blayre, and put your damn hood on and quit trying to be a slut."

Mitch glared at me. "She isn't coming with. She decided she was going to stay longer and have some fun with her friends."

"Oh. Have fun!" She smiled, giggled, and then hopped in the truck.

Mitch got in, not looking back. He turned on the truck, and blasted his stereo.

I stood back for him to get out. Just when I was going to reach for my phone to call my best friend to pick me up, I looked over to see my horror.

Mitch and Ally were making out. I saw it happened and it killed me slowly…like a bullet easing through my body, cutting and tearing my guts punching holes inside me, and nobody really knowing why. Like when you get pushed off of a cliff; you're taken by shock, and you lost air with the impact…and you're falling…and falling…and you're helpless.

That's what it feels like to be treated like 5 minutes after a long break up and having a retarded, fake, slutty chick kiss and steal your spot in your boyfriend's heart.

I pulled out my iPhone, about to call my best friend Jasmine to pick me up, when I heard Ryan shout out to me from is Ford F-150 behind me.

"Blayre, get your ass out of the rain and I'll take you home!" He yelled.

I smiled, knowing how Ryan was such a good guy, and a loyal friend to Mitch. "Sure," I walked over to the passenger side, and climbed on up. "Thanks, Ryan. I owe you one."

"No, Mitch is an ass. He knew Ally and I had nothing in common, he made me go on a date with her and he completely went on basically two dates at once." He tensed his jaw, and pulled out of his parking spot, driving up to the stop sign to exit onto the road.

"I wish I would've said I was busy last week, because, if I did, I wouldn't be single and I wouldn't feel so helpless and lonely right now." I said.

"Blayre, don't take this the wrong way, but I'm always there for you; a shoulder to cry on. I've listened to all the crap he's said and I wish he would've stayed away from Ally. Ally's just a slut, and she's a player, and she's fake. She's been texting him 24/7 for the past two weeks, and it's amazing how he lied to you. Don't feel bad." He turned on the radio, listening to some old rock music.

"I knew what he was doing with Ally." I bit my lip, trying not to cry my head off like a baby and soaked in what Ryan said. It's pure truth. I should accept that Mitch and I are done, but I don't want to. I can't, anyways. It's Mitch; I promised almost my life to him. And he did the same. And now it went to hell.

"Ok, so why did you still date him then?" he asked.

"Because I didn't know better," I looked at the stormy sky, feeling the same pain as the weather. "I thought we would never end so quickly, and he would be over me that quickly."

"Well now you know."

"I know."

"You're strong if you're not crying like a baby."

"I know."

"You don't need him."

"I know."

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know, maybe everything." I sighed, and changed the channel.

I heard a song that sounded so true and so true right now. I cranked it up.

"The things we said that never would

Happen, just happened…

The looks and the love we shared

Just left, kinda like you…

Just like you!"

A tear rolled down my face, and I secretly hoped Mitch cried at some point too, and would be driving away with a tramp giving him a headache, and me on his mind and slowly giving him a stroke.

Just like he's doing to me.