Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis. If I do, then will someone please tell me where I can find my boyfriends? ;-)
Warnings: Um...I took a LOT of liberty with Fuji's past here. According to Konomi-sensei and the manga volumes that end in .5 [i.e.: 40.5, etc] Fuji's father works overseas. I don't remember much about his mother, if she is mentioned. There is also violence against children here. If that upsets you, then please don't continue reading. It's not graphic at all, just mentioning some stuff, but I figure any violence against minors deserves an M-rating.
Explanatory A/N at the bottom. I don't think it has spoilers, so you may read it beforehand, but it's not necessary. Enjoy! ...or...not...
Eyes of Heaven
He's always smiling. A gentle smile on his face, eyes almost completely shut. Kind, soft voice, polite and soft-spoken. A gentle beauty, seemingly drifting from place to place.
He's a genius. He doesn't have to work hard in school- he always gets top scores without paying even half as much attention as his classmates. He's got an innate understanding of the physics of tennis, and that enables him to come up with his famed counters. His very good physical health allows him to execute said counters with careless ease.
He is sadistic. He likes to see others squirm, to see how they react to uncomfortable, awkward situations. He likes to see them suffer.
He is very protective of those he cares about. He will anger easily if someone insults a friend or family member. He will take retribution- and with his brain, it is easy to make it supremely humiliating or painful- but whatever it is, it will certainly be unforgettable.
A smiling, sadistic, over-protective genius who is better not messed with.
That is what people think of me. I know- I hear them, whispering in the hallways, in the courts, in class. Just because my eyes are closed- though not completely; really, could I walk around blind? I just keep the tiniest sliver open, and my lashes hide my eyes- does not mean I am deaf, you know.
Yes, I am protective of those I care about. Who isn't? I'm just forward and daring enough to get revenge on those who have hurt my loved ones. Yes, I am a bit sadistic too- but not really. Inui-juice may taste horrible, but it does no real harm; unless one counts the tastebuds, but that is unimportant. It is not my fault that I am a genius- I was born this way. I understand things very quickly, and because of that grow bored easily. But I do not flaunt my intelligence- I am not that crass, not that arrogant. I know many others struggle to understand the simplest concepts to me- and I help them out when I can. I am always smiling- yes. I suppose I am. But do you not wonder why?
Why do I always smile?
I have other feelings too, you know. Just because I am smiling doesn't mean I am happy. I just do not want to burden others with my feelings. I do not want to bring down someone's day because they saw me being sad, upset, mad, hurt, annoyed, or any other thing.
I remember, when I was little, Yumiko-nee-san had read a book to me, and in it was the phrase: "Do not frown when you are upset or angry- you never know who is falling in love with your smile." While I do not think that people go around falling in love with strangers' smiles, I do think that seeing someone smile lifts your spirits up, even if only the tiniest bit. So I started smiling at everything. At first it was hard, but I did get it. I just had to think of something that made me smile to keep it up.
So it had a very innocent beginning.
But then it became necessary.
Things at home were getting rough. Okaasan and Otousan were arguing more and more. I didn't understand what they were arguing about, but I did catch my name a few times, so I guess it had partially been my fault. So I kept my mask up, to not let them see the hurt I was feeling, the guilt to have caused the fights, and to keep others from knowing things at home were not as good as could be.
One afternoon, when Yumiko-nee-san had club activities, and Okaasan had taken Yuuta out to buy new clothes, I walked out of my room to look for a book I had left in the living room, when Otousan came out of the kitchen, cup of sake hand, and stared at me. I have him a brighter smile than I had had on and said "Ohayo, Otousan! I did not know you were here."
"Syuusuke, what is 4x8?"
"154 divided by 56?"
"What is the square root of 144?"
"Name the seven continents."
"Asia, Africa, Australia, Antartica, Europe, North America, and South America, Otousan."
"...How old are you, Syuusuke?"
"I am 7, Otousan."
Otousan continued studying me. I was getting excited. Otousan never asked about how my day went, or how was school. He wasn't here often, but when he was, he usually talked with Yumiko-nee-san or Yuuta. I was glad I had his attention. And he was seeing how much I knew! I was so glad I knew all that he had asked me. I would not want to dissappoint him.
He walked forward until he was right in front of me. He kept staring at my eyes. I thought maybe he liked them. People were always telling me how beautiful my eyes were, how enchanting- and how unusual. Yumiko-nee-san and Yuuta both had brown eyes. I liked their eyes, but people always exclaimed over my eyes. I tried not to blink, so that he could stare as much as he wanted.
Suddenly, he drew a hand back and smacked it across my face, throwing me to the floor. I just missed the table to the side of the sofa.
"It is not natural for a boy so young to know so much. Yumiko and Yuuta are normal children. Not even Yumiko knows as much as you do! And those eyes! No son of mine has colored eyes! My eyes are brown, your Kaasan's eyes are brown. Yumiko and Yuuta have brown eyes. Why do you have blue? WHO IS YOUR FATHER?"
"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" He smacked me again, and, having just gotten up, I fell once more- this time not missing the corner of the table, and hitting my back as I went down. This time I stayed down, staring at Otousan with wide eyes. I had never seen him so angry.
"I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR EYES!"
"H-hai, Otousan." I quickly closed my eyes tightly.
"I said not to call me that. I am not your Otousan."
I heard him walk away, back into the kitchen. Once I heard the slam of the bottle of sake hitting the table, I quickly got up, grabbed my book, and ran to my room, closing the door after me. I was worried, scared, confused- why did Otousan hate my eyes so much? Did he think they were ugly? Were all those people wrong?
Going to a mirror of Yumiko-nee-san's that I had picked up the other day, I looked at myself. My right cheek was bright red from the slaps, but if I pretended to be asleep when Okaasan came home, hopefully it would be gone by tomorrow morning.
Next I looked at my eyes. What was wrong with them? I didn't see anything different from usual. Maybe Otousan had met an annoying person at work today who had blue eyes and I reminded him of that person. Yes, that must be it.
Conclusion reached, I put down the mirror and hurried to finish my homework before Okaasan and Yuuta and Yumiko-nee-san came back so I could be in bed with the lights off.
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSS
The next morning, my cheek was still a bit red, but not as much as it was last night. I hoped Okaasan wouldn't notice. When I got to the table, Yumiko-nee-san and Okaasan were deep in conversation, and didn't notice me. I breathed a sigh of relief, until Yuuta asked "Nii-san, why is your cheek so red?"
Both Okaasan and Yumiko-nee-san turned and looked at me. I smiled.
"Saa...Yuuta, my cheek is red because it wants a kiss from you." I leaned closer to Yuuta. "Won't you give me a kiss?"
"Nii-san! Get away!" he pushed me off.
Okaasan and Yumiko-nee-san laughted and said how cute we were, forgetting about my cheek. I sighed. Escaped.
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSS
Two weeks later, I was at home alone with Otousan again, and I hadn't seen him since that last time. I wandered around, hoping to find him, so we could spend some time together. I found him in the kitchen, once again drinking sake. His face was red, but he didn't look sick. Maybe he was too hot? I pulled up a chair and sat down, smiling at him.
"Otousan, want to play a game?"
He looked up, stared at my eyes again, and got up and came around the table.
This time I got a sprained wrist and some bruises in my stomach and back. The bruises I could hide, but I would have to be careful of my wrist. I told Okaasan that I feel down while chasing a butterfly. She wrapped my wrist and gave it a kiss to make it feel better.
I half-closed my eyes to keep people from looking at them.
Everytime we were alone together, I would anger Otousan somehow, and he would give me a lesson. It got harder and harder to explain away my bruises and sprained wrists and ankles.
My eyes slid shut another milimeter after every time.
Four months after the first time Otousan slapped me, my eyes were as they are now- almost fully closed. As it happened gradually, people didn't really notice.
It was also the time I was home sick, and Okaasan had to run a few errands, and Yumiko-nee-san and Yuuta were at school. Otousan came home in the middle of the day, and he smelled very much like sake. Maybe someone had spilled a bottle on him and he came home to change?
He came to my room, and seemed surprised to see me in bed, sitting up and reading a book Yumiko-nee-san had lent me.
"W-wh-what, you-re t-too go-ood for school now?"
"I'm sick. Okaasan told me to stay home."
"You don't loo-loo-look sick too-hic-me."
"Okaasan gave me medicine. I feel loads better now."
He took another step into my room, and seemed to stumble on thin air. "Otousan!"
This time it was not just his fists and whatever I fell against- once I fell down, he kicked me. On my stomach, my back, my head- whatever part of me he could reach. I started coughing up blood, and I curled up tighter, hoping to protect my stomach.
A bit later, I heard the door to my room slam open, and then screaming and yelling. Realizing I was no longer receiving blows, I cracked my eyes open the tiniest bit and looked up. Okaasan? When had she gotten here? She was screaming at Otousan, who was screaming back and pointing at me. It was my fault, after all. All their fights.
Otousan turned and drew back his leg to kick me again, but Okaasan grabbed my desk lamp and hit Otousan on the head with it. He fell down and didn't get up. Okaasan dropped the lamp and ran to me.
"Oh, Syuusuke. Syuusuke, Syuusuke, Syuusuke. Oh sweetheart, I'm so, so sorry. Come on, come with 'Kaasan. We'll go to the hospital and make it all better." I felt Okaasan pick me up and carry me down the stairs.
We never went back home. Okaasan took me to the hospital, and from there she called Yumiko-nee-san's school and asked for her to come to the phone. She told Yumiko-nee-san that something had come up, and could she please go pick Yuuta up from school and head to the hospital? She was not to stop home to drop off anything- straight from school they were to come here. After that, Okaasan made a lot more calls and got things arranged.
When I was discharged two days later, we went to a house in Tokyo. Our new house, Okaasan said. When Yuuta asked where Otousan was, Okaasan would get this odd look in her face, and tell Yuuta that he was busy.
But apparently Yuuta had understood more from the fights than we thought. He blamed me for us moving away from Otousan- and he never called me nii-san again. He began using Aniki. It hurt a lot at first, but I took it in stride, I took it as part of my punishment for being born with blue eyes. It still hurts, everytime I hear it, but not as bad as back then. I doubt Yuuta even remembers why he started using it- after all, he was just 6.
Now I keep my eyes closed practically all the time- and it's gotten so that people are intimidated by my open eyes. They shrink back in fear and shy away from me. And that hurts. They just throw back in my face what Otousan had said all those years ago- my blue eyes are Not Right. They are something to be ashamed of. Even Eiji, my best friend, tells me to 'not scare him like that' when I open my eyes.
So I keep them closed and a smile on my face, so that they would not see how hurt I feel, so that they would not feel bad for making someone's eyes fill with tears at their callous commentaries and actions.
At night, when I finally open my eyes wide and stare at the sky, I just wish for someone to tell me my eyes are beautiful again.
A/N: Um...this was supposed to have been a 100-200 little blurb on how Fuji did have emotions and was not just a sadistic genius- Fanfic Lover (Guest) , your review inspired this, in a way. I mean, I'd always though to Fuji as being more than people generally portrayed him to be, but when I saw Fanfic Lover's review, well, it reminded me that people *did* forget Fuji can have emotions other than 'sadistic grin/smile,' 'amusement,' and 'anger', and it just pushed and pushed until I had to write it down or go crazy. ...and...there's more. Maybe. Possibly. If people want it. I could totally end it here, and leave this as a angst one-shot. I really like my last line, btw. ^-^ It's sad, yeah, but I love it! ...ahem!...oke, oke. Um, yeah, I got in the back of my mind a faint outline of a plot. You know, Fuji finding someone who not only doesn't mind his eyes, but actually loves them. And no, it won't be Tezuka. While I like Perfect just fine, well...that's just it. It's Perfect. ...that, and I'm too scared I'll make Tezuka a horrible ooc, so yeah...ah, I already know who it'll be if I do continue. So...input, anyone?