My name is Anakin Skywalker.
I am the Hero with no fear, the Chosen One, the handsome crusader.
But all of these are just titles, as Padme tells me.
These are the facts everyone else in the galaxy knows.
They do not know that without Qui-gon; I'd still be a slave.
They do not know that I was not merely taught by the man often next to me.
No, he raised me too.
His name was Obi-wan Kenobi.
He was the Negotiator, The flawless gentlemen, the hero of many battles.
But all of these are just titles.
He was also my father, my brother, my best friend.
He gave his life so I could be happy, and I write this to you now, master, so that Luke and Leia will know what happened to their grandfather. I cannot say the words aloud.
Happy birthday, Obi-wan. I miss you.
You look so lost
And something is wrong, I can see it the second you walk into the room, master, with Mace and Yoda behind you.
It's funny, I had just been complaining about you to the Chancellor. By now, the entire universe knows that Darth Maul is back.
I was so angry you had not taken me with you, had not even bothered to tell me that the monster who had taken both of our masters from us had reemerged.
Only later would I know why you did so.
I forgot all of that when you walked in though. Your eyes are dull, you look unsure, almost scared. When the chancellor walked out, I followed him. I smile at Mace when he glares at me.
I don't care that it is confidential. I'm the Chosen one.
You look at me weird when I grab your arm and haul you down next to me protectively. Okay, so it isn't the Jedi way to bear a grudge. But you pretended to be dead. And you didn't tell me.
It took me a minute to remember that I had not spoken to you in a month. Despite that, I'm still worried.
Master, what is wrong?
Adi is dead. Darth Maul has claimed another victim. How could you let this happen, Obi-wan?
She was not my favorite, but she was kind to me when I came to this new and strange place. Adi Gallia was a great Jedi, a compassionate woman, and she is gone.
I don't agree with the Chancellor on this one. Darth Maul is a threat, but we have to respect his judgment.
I can see how much you disagree.
What is this you're talking about? The Jedi have been distracted by war? Well, duh, we are fighting a war where we are out-numbered, out-maneuvered and practically in a billion dollar debt hole.
Yoda is looking at you differently, as if he suspects something. He says that this is personal for you. That your judgment may be clouded by your emotions.
Is that true, master?
I was about to ask you, but you walked away. You eyes are dull now, as if Yoda tore out something with his words.
I followed you, but you did not turn. Master what is wrong?
You look so lost.
I have never seen you this way. I never thought I would. Then again, I also have seen little of you since Adi's funeral.
I went, out of respect and gratitude mostly. Again, she was kind to me.
You looked the same as you did at Qui-gon's funeral.
Your face shut down, the universe locked out of your heart and mind. You drove me insane with that look. It took me a long time to discover you had feelings because of it.
I remember sneaking my way to your side.
"We'll bring him to justice," meaning Darth Maul. You smile sardonically. Your eyes, unusually gray in the red light, flash.
"Revenge is not the Jedi way," even at a funeral, you lecture me. I glare at you from the corner of my eyes. "It isn't revenge. It is justice," I tell you. You look at me, really, for the first time just look at me, and suddenly I am seeing every ounce of weary pain in your eyes.
I find that it scares me more than anything.
I put a hand on your shoulder, but you shake it off. "Justice, Anakin?" You scoff. "No, it won't be justice," you look at the burning kindling that is Master Gallia.
"It will be agonizing, horrible, bloody revenge."
Then you walk away, you leave the room like it had been hurting you.
I see now that everything had been hurting you.
Back then, I only watched you go with shock in my heart and concern in my eyes. Without being there, I felt as if Darth maul were hurting you. Master, tell me what I can do.
That night I went home to Padme, and almost forgot about everything in my love for her.
But you stayed in my mind, Obi-wan, all night.
And I still wonder how you stayed alone in your room all night without going insane earlier.
Something is broken
Please do not do this. Do not block me out. Do not alienate me.
"How could they send you on a mission now?" I demand of you angrily, as if you're supposed to know. "Darth Maul is out looking for you as we speak!" You look at me with eyes that somehow seem shadowy.
"Anakin," only you could joke at that moment. "I believe it has something to do with the spectacular fact that I'm a Jedi," you say dryly.
I hated your sarcasm then. I long for your humor now.
I am silent, because I don't know what to say. You never did listen to me.
"How is Ahsoka?" You ask, stuffing your feet into worn, red-splotched boots. I did not know where the red was from then.
I wish I had.
I might have saved you.
"Perky. Cheeky. Independent. Selfless," I name off. "Same as ever then?" I nod with a small smile. "Same as ever," I agree.
You look up, ready to go, and even though your eyes have always been color changing, they are one color now.
Black. Like a starless, lightless night.
"You look tired," I lie. You smirk disgustingly. "We're all tired," so? You're more tired.
I never realized just how tired you were. I see now, though, master. And it breaks my heart that I never saw it before.
You stand, your muscles trembling. You have not even been back two days yet. I grab your arm, helping you up. There have been way too many moments like this lately.
Master, what has this war done to us?
"When you get back, wanna go to Dex's?" I need to figure out what is wrong with you.
"I can't, Anakin," You reply, walking past me. I stop, staring. You have never turned down the few invitations I have given for a break.
Usually your answer is a small grin and a sparkle in your eye. I'm used to you saying, "oh, but wouldn't it hurt your reputation to be seen with an old bore like me?"
I'm used to answering, "Your anything but boring master, and I might as well deal with your oldness."
But no, you said no.
Master, what has this monster done to you?
"Why?" I finally splutter. You do not look back as you call "Spend your time with someone else this time, Anakin. I would not be very fun company right now." That hurt me more than it hurt you.
I swiveled into your doorway, watching your back recede. Weren't we a team?
"Why are you doing this!?" I call after him. You do not answer, nor look back. But I know anyway.
Something is broken in you, something deep and important. How do I fix it? Tell me.
Do not turn me away, master. Do not turn me down. Talk to me. Do not make a bigger space between us than there already is.
Do not hurt me this way.
Please, let me fix whatever is broken.
"I'm worried about him"
You're the master when I see you again.
I see you as a holo-graph among the other council members as I give a report next to Ahsoka.
They all cast conspicuous, concerned glances at you every once in awhile.
Your eyes are sunken in, you've gotten slimmer.
Master, what's wrong?
When we return to the temple, Ahsoka grabs my arm. "Did you see him?" Even my apprentice knows you well enough to see the inner brokenness.
She knows something is wrong. So do I.
"Yes," I reply. She nods. "What's wrong?" She asks me, as if I'm supposed to know. I realize that I am supposed to know.
But I don't.
"I'm going to find out, Snips," I say to her, resolutely. She looks at me for a moment, her young eyes suddenly holding hundreds of thousands of secrets and mature deities.
Master, what has this war done to her?
"Good, I'm worried about him," she walks away without another word.
I began my search.
I turned a corner and was stopped by master Yoda.
He's worried about you, Obi-wan. He says you've been quiet lately. He made me promise to see what was going on.
I rounded the corner and Bant stopped me.
She's worried, too. She made me promise to see you.
I ran a little down the hall.
Windu stopped me.
He's concerned, as well. He says that you're under a lot of stress.
I make my third promise.
He walked away, and Garen was there.
He asked me if I had done anything new with my hair.
When I told him no, he only smiled and told me to take care of you.
Master, we're all so worried.
Finally, I made my way to your quarters.
You are at your desk, staring at a picture of Darth Maul as if in a trance. My heart ached.
"Master!" You do not turn. Your eyes are dark as coals. "Hello, Anakin," something is so wrong. I stayed back.
I'm afraid, master. I'm afraid of you. For you. With you.
I see red on your arm.
"How did you get hurt?"
You stare at me blankly, and then look down at your arms. You pull up your sleeves. There are cuts.
Dozens of cuts on both arms. Zigzagging, intertwining, spelled into words and then scribbled out in dried blood.
My heart ran out of my chest. I ran to you.
"Who did this to you?" I demand, taking a blood-soaked arm and bandaging its naked, shredded skin. You stay silent, shocked and befuddled.
Then I catch a glimpse of your saber.
It has blood on the hilt.
"No!" I snatch the weapon, and when I ignite it, blood seeps up through the cracks between the blade and metal.
You gasp, and I can see that you could not remember ever having done this to yourself.
Having stooped so low.
"Master…." I fling the blasted thing down. You stare at me with shame and shock.
"Obi-wan, what have you done?"
You blink, and then look away. Whatever was broken, you did not see.
But you cannot hide even this pain from me.
"How could you do this to yourself?" I scream. You sigh. "I don't know."
"What's wrong with you?" I add. "I don't know, Anakin. I don't."
Things start to improve
After that, you stopped blocking me out so much. I think the horror hit you hard.
We went on more missions.
We became the trio of three that the universe loved.
It was paradise, just you, me and Ahsoka. Spreading peace and creativity throughout the galaxy. Annoying Dooku, being heroes.
For awhile, you even forgot about Maul.
You laughed sometimes. You joked with me. You fought beside me.
We were best friends.
I miss you so much, Obi-wan.
One night I remember curling up beside you on the ground.
Thunder boomed in the sky, spelling out our future. Rain poured unto our tent, making little indents.
"Do you miss Qui-gon?"
"Every second of every day," you were honest for the first time in a long time.
"What do you miss most about him?"
You closed your eyes, master. A tear came out anyway.
I wiped it away, master. It is okay. I wiped it away. It is gone now. All the pain is gone. It will not hurt you.
"I miss how he looked at things. He made me think it was all beautiful and wonderful. Everything was made of light, even the dark."
I kept wiping them away.
I had not seen you cry since….
I had never seen you cry.
I hug you. I kiss away your tears. I stroke your hair.
You laugh and tell me not to make such a fuss.
I keep doing it anyway.
You let me, and I think for that moment, at least, you knew that I loved you.
I would later learn that you loved me too.
Your love for me saved everyone but you
That next week, the force rippled with danger.
You felt it too, and I found out from Padme that Darth Maul was back.
I did not tell you.
No one did.
You found out anyway, somehow. Yoda ordered you not to go.
He sent me instead.
"I don't like this," You said. "I'll be okay," I assured you. "Qui-gon said that too."
I only smiled sadly and left.
I think you disobeyed the first order of your life when you stowed away on my ship.
Stupid master, what have you done?
I was in the middle of the fight when you showed up.
Savage Oppress was behind me. Darth Maul had cornered me.
I had been knocked down, and I could not get back up in time.
"This is another death Kenobi will have to live with!" I gritted my teeth.
Death was upon me.
So were you.
You jumped down from the ceiling and landed over me, blocking both lightsabers with one.
Obi-wan, what have you done?
"You won't take someone else from me," I heard the rage in your voice.
I handed you my saber and struggled to rise.
You fought with both yours and mine. You cut down Savage easily. Now it was just you and your old enemy.
I had never seen you fight so hard, so powerfully, so strong. I was proud to have been your student, watching the warrior before me.
But you were not strong enough.
I screamed when he stabbed you. It went right through your stomach and appeared on the other side.
"No! Obi-wan, no!"
You looked up at him, holding the weapon in your stomach. Suddenly, you yanked it out.
You had purposefully sacrificed yourself for me.
You grabbed Darth Maul, who had turned around, and put his own lightsaber to his neck.
"If I die, then you're going with me."
His head tumbled to the floor, separated from his body. And you caught my eyes before you toppled down.
It was a part of your plan, I realized.
You knew you could not defeat him alone. You knew I could not.
No, Darth Maul had to have been beaten by trickery. You fooled him into thinking he won, so he would let his guard down.
Then you killed him with his own weapon.
But you had to die. You knew that if you didn't make it look convincing, he would win and kill you.
Then I'd be masterless; and look for revenge.
That would destroy me from the inside out.
Then Darth Maul would kill me, and leave Ahsoka without guidance and revenge-stricken.
It would go on and on throughout the rest of our lineage.
You stopped that. You saved me.
I scramble over to you, sobbing.
I catch you in my arms and hold you, sobbing.
"Master. Master. Master, don't go," I pleaded in between sobs.
You touch my cheek. "Tears? No, Ani, don't cry," You smile, and some of the old, forgotten light returned to your eyes.
You look happy.
"Don't you see, Anakin? I'm free," you laugh harshly. "I did everything I wanted. There is no reason for me to continue living," I struggle up. "I won't give up," you never taught me too.
You close your eyes, breathing harsh and unsteady.
I stash you aboard the ship, desperate to get back to Courascant. Bant would save you.
I was young, and foolish, and naïve.
If only I would have seen.
I hold onto you the whole way there, kissing your face, stroking your hair.
Trying to convince myself I was not saying goodbye by doing so.
I talk to you about old memories. I try to make you laugh. I beg you to stay alive.
I never thought to say 'I love you' before it was too late. Before you died.
Goodbye, Obi-wan. we love you
I do not remember how we spent the rest of our time.
That ship was so cold; you were so cold.
Why did you never open your eyes when I begged, master?
I was so desperate. So alone.
I am better now though.
When we got to the temple, your pulse was small.
You chest moved slowly, barely breathing.
I was already carrying a corpse.
Bant gasped when she saw you.
She rushed you in the med ward.
She also told me to wait outside, like every other time.
But somehow I knew it was too late.
I stayed in the waiting room, silently. I wanted to die, too.
Please, master, I wanted to go with you.
"Master Kenobi?" Ahsoka came. At the sound of your name, my heart broke.
"He's dying," I accepted it now.
She nodded and sat beside me, cradling my hands in hers.
Her love and understanding has helped me through, Obi-wan.
Because without you, what am I supposed to do?
We're a team. The Team.
You're my other half, and you were dying.
What do you do when one-half of your heart dies and leaves you incomplete?
Soon, your impending death rattled the force.
Garen came, and sat beside us.
Yoda came, and his eyes were sad.
Windu came, and I found out he had a heart when he knelt in front of me and put a hand on my knee.
"I'm so sorry."
I cried, Obi-wan.
Bant came back out, and said she couldn't watch. One of your old teachers came too.
She brought the whole class, master. They cried.
We all were crying, as you were dying.
Quin-lan came, isn't that weird? You said he drove you nuts.
But he was staring at the door as if it held the universe's end written on its frame.
I swear the entire temple was there, waiting for your life to end.
Or for it to continue.
Only Ahsoka and I knew the truth.
Master, why did you have to go?
I heard one last word, before you vanished from us forever.
It was whispered between our bond, clear as daylight.
"I love you, Anakin. We'll meet again someday."
And then the universe crashed around me.
I screamed when you died.
Several others did too.
Windu bowed his head. Yoda dropped to one knee. Bant fainted. Garen cried out. Quin-lan punched the wall. Your teachers stopped breathing. The younglings started sobbing. Ahsoka clung to me.
In the end, Obi-wan, it was I who did nothing.
It was I who stood up and caught Bant.
It was I who called Windu to stand.
It was I who raised Yoda back up.
It was I who comforted Garen.
It was I who took Quin-lan's fist from the wall.
It was I who reminded your teachers to breathe.
It was I who ordered the younglings to dry their tears.
It was I who told Ahsoka to let go of me.
In the end, master, it was I who stood up and took your place.
I am your legacy. Your apprentice. Your ever loyal companion.
And I hope you're proud of me.
I learn how you did what you did
I hated you so much.
I've told you that more than I've ever told you anything else.
I'm here to tell you that I love you now.
Because I see how hard it was for you after Qui-gon died.
I realize how much you must have loved me, to keep going as you did.
I did not shed a tear until two days later, when I went to tell Satine.
I once heard her say she loved you.
But when she learned of your death, she only nodded and said she loved the man. Not the Jedi.
There is no limit on love, Obi-wan. I know you loved her all the way.
Yet she only loved you half way. You deserved so much more.
When she said that, I left, crying.
Because I realized that I had never told you I loved you either.
Maybe that is why it took you being on your death-bed to tell me.
My love for Padme kept me going.
My dedication to your Jedi Order kept me sane.
My affection for Ahsoka kept me grounded.
My memories of you kept me smiling.
I took care of others during their grief, when I should have been taking care of me.
You taught me too well, Obi-wan.
I love you so much, Obi-wan.
I miss you so much, Obi-wan.
During your funeral, Ahsoka buried her head in my chest. I watched you float away in hidden flames and misery.
I wonder if Qui-gon appeared to you.
As you appeared to me.
Suddenly, you were there, a ghost smiling at me from the other side of your body.
It was just like you to come to your own funeral.
I gape and look around. No one saw you there, though.
Blink. Blink. A tear runs down my cheek.
You smile at me fondly, as if I'm the very essence of your galaxy.
I guess I was.
Then there's Qui-gon next to you. And Siri Tachi and a thousand other people you never told me about.
I can see they love you.
I see your eyes shine.
You're happy, master. You're free from this cruel place that hurt you so much.
And that is all that matters to me.
Woo, hoo, Obi-wan is dead, let's have a party! Siri shouts.
The other ghosts vanish. But you remain.
Where we are mourning, you're celebrating.
I will celebrate with you, my teacher.
I will celebrate your freedom, forever more.
I'm so proud of you, Anakin.
Goodbye, my oldest friend.
You laugh and wink at me.
Goodbye? I think not. I'll always be here. Always. Death does not break the bond.
Even now, I still feel you in my heart.
I smile. Despite the tears of everyone else. I smile at you.
I Love you, Obi-wan.
Your gone, Obi-wan. But not really.
I love you, Anakin. I have a party to attend too.
So do I.
The Chosen One
It's been four years since you died, master.
The Clone War is over.
Ahsoka is a knight.
The Code has been changed. Jedi have been married. Children have been born.
Padme is the Chancellor.
Luke and Leia are three year olds.
I have taken your place as a council member.
Palpatine was a Sith, he tried to turn me into a second Dooku.
But before I struck the blade that would destroy the Order, I thought of you.
And I knew what to do.
Now he is dead. The Separatists have once more joined with the Republic.
Peace has been restored.
Just like you always wanted.
I still miss you, Obi-wan. very much. But I never cry.
Because your happy, and I know this to be true.
I'll see you again someday anyway.
Today is the four-year anniversary since the end of the wars.
I get a parade in my honor. Yoda says it gets to my head.
I know you would be proud.
Now, I put my pen down, having written the story of your death.
Having written the story of the real father of the Chosen one.
I go on to my future now.
The future you sacrificed yourself to help me create.
Thank you, Obi-wan.
If you were here, you would laugh to see me parading on top of statues in the streets.
Now Ahsoka and her apprentice laugh with me.
So it will be until I join you in the one true freedom.
I wish you happy birthday, master.
And I want you to tell Qui-gon that he was right. The prophecy was true.
I am the Chosen One.
But only because of you.
Eh, just something I thought up after the first episode in season five. I think it is one of my best poems ever. I'm sorry about the present and past tense confusion. I'm used to writing in past tense, so using present tense was really hard. I did my best. How was it? If you liked this story, check out the start of my series, Jedi legends; The Dawn of Conclusion