I just couldn't get this right but I hope you like it anyway :)
It was almost dark before Scorpius finally said it. James kept nudging him and smiling encouragingly. So he did for James and, really, that was the only reason.
So when he said: "me and James are fucking," he wasn't expecting much. But he still didn't expect that it would turn out that badly.
"What?" Henry said dumbly.
Scorpius made himself shrug. "Me and James are fucking," he said. But his words sounded distant, even to his own ears. "Just letting you know." You're saying it all wrong, Scorpius told himself angrily. You should have said: me and James are together, we're dating.
When the four boys turned to him, James shrugged also. Beyond the windows of the Hogwarts Express dusk was looming upon them. There was snow atop the far away mountains, bright even in the dark.
"What so – so…" Tony scrunched up his face. "What so you're like – you're like-"
"Like having sex?" put in Brian.
Scorpius suppressed the urge to role his eyes and drawled, "Yeah… that's kind of what fucking is."
Tony scoffed, affronted. Moodily, he asked, "Since when?"
"November, the first time." From the corner of his eye Scorpius could see that James was biting the pad of his thumb, a nervous habit of his. Part of him wished that James would put an arm around him; another part would be mortified if he did.
"Why?" That was Henry.
"What, are you gay?" That was Louis.
"No." Scorpius said, scrambling for the right answer, "I – I dunno. He's a good fuck, I'm a good fuck. We're just… fucking." And occasionally, he thought, we cuddle. Which is also nice.
But then Henry gave a loud bark of laughter. "So," he said, grinning wickedly, and pointed at the two of them, "if you two are fucking who's the – what did you call it Potter? Bottom? – who's the bottom then..?"
Scorpius' stomach dropped as the carriage filled with their laughter.
Turning to Henry, Brian said, "Hey, Potter said he doesn't 'take'." He turned a wide grin on Scorpius. "Which would make you the bitch."
Scorpius' cheeks flamed. He couldn't deny it and so he threw a look at James.
"No!" Tony crowed, stamping his feet on the floor and slapping his palms against his thighs. "Scorpius Malfoy taking it up the arse! God that must be a sight!"
"Leave it out," James snapped angrily.
Wheezy with laughter, the four boys took a moment to regain their breath.
There was a brief pause before: "Virgin then?" asked Louis.
Tony almost fell off his seat laughing.
Scorpius was humiliated. "Well, obviously," he sneered, though they didn't seem to hear him. They weren't even speaking to him. His outrage amounting, Scorpius realised that they were addressing James as though Scorpius wasn't even in the room.
"Did he cry?" Tony asked, clutching his stomach. "Oh, please say he cried," he begged, sniggering.
Scorpius' chest rose and fell rapidly. "Fuck off, Abernathy," he snarled as, at the same time, James turned his face away and said, "that's sick, man."
"So what's Malfoy like in bed then?" Henry asked.
James rolled his eyes irritably. "Better than anyone of you I'm sure."
"Well," Brian grinned, nudging Tony beside him and snickering, "you're not like to find out. None of us are a slut for it like Malfoy."
"Shut your mouth, Thorne," Scorpius snapped, adding, as an afterthought: "if you know what's good for you."
Brian's smile faded. Meeting Scorpius' eyes, he seemed to realise that his words were actually upsetting Scorpius. But Henry and Tony either didn't notice or didn't care.
"Yeah," said Henry, grinning, "but does he ever shut up?"
"Bet he loves the dirty talk!" Tony added before shrieking in a high pitched voice: "oh, make me your bitch, Potter. Make me your bitch!"
Scorpius opened his mouth to retort but his words were drowned by their bellows of laughter.
"Oi, oi Potter," Henry asked, snapping his fingers at James to get his attention. "Is he clingy? Do you cuddle after? Does he cry after and ask if it was good for you?"
"Mate," James said in a voice trembling with suppressed anger, "You want to shut the fuck up?"
"Hey, does he go down on you?" Louis asked, giggling behind his fingers.
"Does he shut up even then?"
"Mate, mate," Tony cried, bouncing on his seat. "If he does can we make that a permanent thing – you gagging him with your cock!" He wrapped both arms around his stomach and shrieked with laughter.
Scorpius snapped, grabbing a book from the seat beside him and hurling it at Tony's head. The boy ducked and yelled back, "that could have killed me, you fag!"
Henry snorted. "Potter, could you please control your woman?"
"Who the fuck are you calling woman, Zane!?" Scorpius snarled.
Henry met his gaze coolly. "You on your period or something? Jesus, sit down you're embarrassing yourself."
Scorpius had his wand out. "I swear to god, Zane, I will-"
"Oi Potter, could you shut this bitch up? Christ, doesn't she know her place?" Tony cackled.
Scorpius saw red and suddenly, without uttering a curse or even moving his wand, a jet of light erupted from the end and burnt through the floor of the carriage. The railway tracks rattled by underneath, cold wintery air whistling up through the hole he had made. Scorpius leapt back, eyes wide.
It was several moments before he felt James take him gently by the arm. Then James addressed their friends, who were staring up at Scorpius from the seats opposite. "I think that's your cue to leave," he told them.
Scorpius blinked dazedly and shook his head to clear it. He shrugged James off. "Oh no," he sneered, "don't leave on my account." He brushed past James, stepping over the hole he had blasted in the floor, and flung open their compartment door.
He strode down the corridor with purpose, furiously checking each carriage in a way that must have seemed manic to the occupants. Six doors down Scorpius came upon a carriage that was full with Gryffindor girls from both his year and James'.
He slid the door open and they turned to him, some – who were his friends – greeted him cheerfully. But he spoke over them, so red with anger he barely knew what he was saying before he said it. "Henry thinks you're desperate, he's bragging about it right now – six doors up."
A blonde girl stared at him but Scorpius had already turned to a girl whom he had known for years, who had written him the letter back in September to tell him that James was gay. "Tony thinks your sister is fitter than you, Kel. Sorry." He turned to two brunettes by the window. "And Sophie, Louis hates your blow jobs. He's told us all how bad you are at them. Olivia…" But here Scorpius hesitated. He couldn't think of a single bad thing Brian had actually said about his girlfriend.
The first girl, Louise, stood up and pushed past him. Kelly and Sophie followed. Olivia was still looking at him, her eyes pleading with him to tell her what he had to say yet begging him not to.
"Brian said – you pull some stupid lovey-dovey face when you're t- fucking."
She was already on her feet. As she stormed past him, into the corridor, he called after her, "he was laughing about it – just a moment ago."
He followed after them slowly, watching as the four girls entered the compartment that he had just left. He heard raised voices and the sound of somebody being slapped.
Moments later they barged past him, their Gryffindor robes billowing and their hair flying.
Scorpius' heart was hammering but as he rounded the threshold his guilt suddenly erupted into triumph.
Brian was cradling his head in his hands; Louis was still rubbing his cheek. Henry and Tony were speechless.
Scorpius felt James' eyes on him, who still stood by the door. Ignoring him, Scorpius smirked gleefully and said, "Now you can leave."
He was vaguely aware of James pinching the bridge of his nose. His main focus was on the four other boys, however, who were turning to him with ugly expressions.
Brian leapt to his feet, breathless. "Yeah!?" he panted. "Good. I think I know a few people who would love to hear how you've turned faggot."
"Oh really?" Scorpius said. He was confident that this game was one only a Slytherin could play, and he'd never felt less like a Gryffindor than now. "So you're going to screw James over like that?" He cast James a fleeting glance. "What's he done to you?"
James spoke up in a flat, unreadable tone. "Mention me and him and I wouldn't bother coming back."
Brian, Henry, Louis and Tony seethed. They looked from Scorpius to each other, teeth clenched. Then Henry shoved past him, pushing Scorpius into James' chest as he went. Louis and Tony followed and then Brian, who had begun to cry.
When they were gone Scorpius suddenly felt empty. He collapsed into the nearest seat and dropped his forehead into his palm. James gingerly took the one beside him.
"You okay?" James whispered, nudging him.
Scorpius felt a lump rise in his throat and looked quickly at the ceiling to blink back tears.
There was a length of silence. Then James said musingly, "You know that was kind of hot…" He leant closer to Scorpius and lowered his voice. "I mean, you thought we were never gonna get a room to ourselves." The tip of one finger trailed over Scorpius' collarbone.
Scorpius felt a huge surge of anger. Slapping James' hand away he leapt to his feet and snapped, "For god's sake, James, could you just leave off!" He threw himself into the seat opposite and glared out of the window. But as the train rattled along the tracks his anger faded as quickly as it had risen.
"I can't do it," he whispered.
"Scor…" James said. "They were just messing… you know."
"Why do you keep calling me 'Scor'?" Scorpius snapped. "What even is that?"
James scoffed. "I don't know," he muttered. "I liked it? Christ, Malfoy, relax."
Scorpius let his head drop back against the wall behind him and he took a long, deep breath. He knew this was a mistake. A mistake he had made half a hundred times, over and over again in James' arms.
James was speaking but Scorpius wasn't really listening. The lump had got stuck in his throat and there were tears prickling behind his closed eyes.
"It'll be fine," he heard James say; "things can go back to normal."
"Like how things were before this," Scorpius gestured between them, eyes still closed, "ever happened."
"No, well not that normal-" James started to say.
Scorpius' heart was pounding. He shook his head and heard James trail off uncertainly. When he opened his eyes he was unable to look at James and instead stared hard out of the window. "Yes," he said softly. "Things can go back to normal, how it should be-"
He felt James shift, sitting forward abruptly and cutting him off to say, "Are you breaking up with me?"
Scorpius fist slammed into the seat beside him and he was on his feet. "I can't break up you, Potter, if we were never together! Fuck! I'm not your – damn – girlfriend!"
The following morning, after spending an uncomfortable night on a sofa in the Common Room, Scorpius went down to the Great Hall for his breakfast. Though James wasn't there he saw Louis, Henry, Tony and Brian sitting together towards one end of the table. Henry looked up, spotted him and nudged Louis. Heart pounding, Scorpius started to approach them. He wanted an apology but he knew that they deserved one just as much. However, he had no sooner slid into his seat then the four of them stood up and left.
Scorpius scoffed. So they'd left their pancakes, he thought, that was their loss. They couldn't stay mad at him for ever. He reached for his own plate and, as he did so, caught the eye of Albus Potter. Albus stood up. His friends did also. Their bench scraped along the floor as they left the Gryffindor table.
Scorpius rolled his eyes. This was so stupid. It had nothing to do with Albus and his bloody friends. He reached for the lemon and sugar and for a jug of pumpkin juice to fill his goblet. He wished James would come down already.
Further along the table a group of Fourth Years were muttering and pointing at him. Scorpius glowered at them. Someone accidently bumped into his back as they and their friends hurried past him. Scowling after them as well, Scorpius saw that they were leaving too. As he turned back to his breakfast he saw that the Fourth Years were grabbing their book bags and leaving their own plates half-finished. Scrambling to their feet they strutted past him, giggling.
He furrowed his brow, his pancake sitting on his plate, forgotten. As he looked from left to right he saw Gryffindors from every year leave their breakfast, pick up their bags and leave the table. Less than two minutes after Louis, Henry, Tony and Brian had left the hall the whole of Gryffindor table was empty – except for him.
He glanced over his shoulder. The other houses were nudging each other and laughing at him, the least popular boy in the whole school.
Things didn't get better but (at first) it was still (kind of) okay. Even though James was his only friend. Even though that friendship was just a tiny bit ruined. Even though, in those first few weeks, Scorpius spent a lot of time wishing that James would grab him and kiss him and beg for him back. He could do it in front of the whole school for all that Scorpius cared… But Scorpius had hurt James' pride. It would have been kinder to punch a Gryffindor in face.
Even the melting snows of February couldn't thaw Louis, Henry, Tony and Brian's anger towards him, however. Tony would still snap at Scorpius on a daily basis and Louis and Henry pretended that he didn't exist. Even Brian refused to speak to him. Their dormitory was unbearable and so Scorpius went back to Jasmine, his girlfriend from last year. That was when James started to pull away. Scorpius didn't bother to tell him that he hadn't so much as put a hand up her skirt.
Towards the end of February he started to spend more and more of his time with a boy called Nero Dolohov, a Slytherin from his own year. Dolohov was a bit of a loner but he welcomed company now and then. His obsession with the Dark Arts, whilst unnerving, passed the time.
His relationship with Dolohov was the final straw for James. By the end of March they didn't even speak.
Dolohov sloshed vodka into Scorpius' goblet, spilling it over his fingers. He didn't apologise and Scorpius sucked on his thumb and shuddered at the taste. They were watching a potion simmer. Scorpius had stopped asking what Dolohov's potions did. This particular one was by the request of Rosier and Mulciber. Scorpius didn't even want to know.
Three goblets later Dolohov broke the sleepy silence that had fallen. "Rosier says you're gay."
Scorpius threw Dolohov a look. "What does Rosier know?"
Dolohov shrugged. He often spewed hate against Rosier and Mulciber, who were in the year above him and treated him like a slave.
Scorpius drank from his goblet and dropped his head back against the wall.
"It's okay," Dolohov said. "I think it's… interesting."
From under his half-closed eyes Scorpius slid him a curious look.
His back hit the floor and his goblet, empty now, skittered across the stone slabs.
Dolohov's lips were all over him, so furiously Scorpius couldn't keep up. His tongue was too thick in Scorpius' mouth and his fingers pressed bruises into his arms. He mashed their lips together till Scorpius couldn't even breathe under the onslaught.
He tore his head away.
Dolohov was undeterred. He marked Scorpius a thousand times along the column of his throat. He was crushing Scorpius into the floor with his weight. He was a lot taller than Scorpius and he was broader and stronger and everything. It was fucking intimidating.
But it had been months, Scorpius told himself, and he just wanted someone to get him off, that was all. If Dolohov could just- just slow down though, Scorpius thought. Dolohov kept rutting his hips into Scorpius'. His dry thrusts were rough and quick. Then he was shoving Scorpius' robes out of the way, fumbling with flies. He yanked Scorpius' school trousers down.
"Wait-" Scorpius tried to say but Dolohov swallowed his words, pushing his tongue straight into Scorpius' mouth. A sudden feeling of repulsion overwhelmed him.
"Relax," Dolohov murmured.
Scorpius pulled back. "Get off-"
"Come on, man," Dolohov said. His slick black hair drooped in front of his face. He leant in once more but Scorpius pushed him back. "You let Potter fuck you."
Scorpius gaped. "I – I what!?"
"Just relax, man…" Dolohov said, prying Scorpius' fingers off him.
Scorpius shoved him back, his nose wrinkling up in disgust. "Fucking get off," he said impatiently, trying to sit up.
Dolohov's hand closed around his elbow, jerking him back.
Dolohov's other hand wrapped around Scorpius' wrist. He crawled closer, shucking Scorpius trousers further down his legs so that Scorpius was naked and his legs were trapped and Dolohov was in between them.
Scorpius' stomach lurched. "I said get off," he said. "Stop it, alright!"
"Just – fucking relax," Dolohov muttered irritably. He shoved Scorpius into the floor and thrust a hand down his own trousers.
Scorpius pushed back as hard as could but he couldn't- couldn't even fucking budge him. "I said stop!" he screamed. Looking down he saw Dolohov's cock bursting out his fist. "GET OFF ME!"
Dolohov's hand covered his mouth. "Shut up."
Scorpius' eyes widened. He thought he was going to be sick. He was barely managing to hold him back, let alone actually fight him off. Dolohov was this close – Scorpius could feel it. He was screaming behind Dolohov's sweaty palm, barely able to strain and twist away from his incessant pushing. He wasn't even trying to use lube. God, he really was going to be sick.
When Dolohov finally had him pinned, both wrists pressed into the ground beside his head, his legs trapped by his own trousers, and Scorpius knew that there was nothing he could do, he had the sudden urge to scream for James. Then he saw Dolohov's wand in his backpocket. He tore his hand free, grabbed it, stuck in in Dolohov's side and shouted, "impedimenta!"
The curse wrenched Dolohov away from him, propelling him into a desk. There was a deafening clang as it slid into the one behind. Quickly, Scorpius scrambled back to his feet, tugging his trousers up with shaking fingers.
For several long moments only the sound of their quick breaths filled the room.
"God, Malfoy – what's your problem?"
"ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE!?" Scorpius bellowed.
Dolohov huffed. "Rosier said you and Potter-"
This time the curse picked Dolohov off his feet and slammed him into the opposite wall. Slashing Dolohov's wand through the air, Scorpius threw the desks to the side, advancing upon the half-conscious boy. "Potter and I are friends," he spat. "And you have the ugliest cock I've ever seen." He kicked his limp dick, turned, grabbed his robe and his own wand and stormed towards the door.
Looking behind him as he exited he didn't see that was someone was stood right outside the door and collided with them. Heart racing, he leapt back and his stomach dropped as a familiar laugh echoed down the empty corridors.
Rosier appeared from behind Mulciber's back. He stepped forward and gripped Scorpius' arm before the younger boy could retreat. "We were all ready for a show," he leered.
Before Scorpius could lift his wand Mulciber grabbed his wrist and twisted. His wand clattered to the floor.
"Fuck you – fuck off, fucking let me go," Scorpius snarled.
Rosier yanked him close. "This pathetic excuse for a Pureblood would be anyone's bitch," he sneered in disgust. "If I wanted to I could make him mine."
Scorpius' eyes widened.
"If I wanted to," Rosier said. He tilted his head and said thoughtfully, with a smile on his face as though he had just had a great idea, "But first I think I'd make Potter watch."
He pushed Scorpius away and brushed past him. Mulciber did the same. Scorpius leapt for his wand and ran in the opposite direction. He could still hear their laughter well after he had rounded the corner.
He was still panting when he reached the Gryffindor Common Room. Climbing through the portrait hole he saw that the common room was packed, even at this late hour. Only a couple of people glanced over as he entered. James, Tony, Brian, Henry and Louis were sat in armchairs around the fire. Legs still shaking, Scorpius went to their dormitory, threw the door open and slammed the lock in place.
Finally he dropped to the floor, covering his face, dry sobs racking his shoulders. Part of him hoped that someone would come in and see him there and ask him what was wrong.
But they didn't.
Rosier and Mulciber had been bullying and threatening him since they were children. Only now that he had been with James did the threats become sexually implicit. Yet no one ever called James a bitch.
He stopped seeing Dolohov after that night but resentment further tainted his relationship with James and their friends.
Then, one day, several weeks later, he got into a huge fight with Brian.
"Of course I'm fucking in love with James!" he screamed. What a fucking idiot.
Brian scoffed but Rose, who was the only other person there, covered her mouth and got teary. As soon as they were finished with their group work she disappeared before he could stop her.
He didn't see her or James for the rest of the afternoon. Every moment that James was there, telling him he loved him back was like a fucking knife in the heart. As he ate dinner than evening, watching Tony, Brian, Henry and Louis moodily, Rose fell into the seat opposite him.
His heart dropped. He waited a moment for her to speak before realising that whatever she had to say must be bad or she wouldn't be waiting so long.
"You told him didn't you?" Scorpius asked resignedly. He glanced up at her and, to his horror, saw tears fill her eyes. His chest constricted painfully and he buried his face in his hands. "Oh God," he moaned. "He thinks I'm a freak. Some infatuated, immature – stupid quee-"
"James is in St Mungo's."
Scorpius trailed off. Slowly he raised his head. "What?"
Rose wiped a tear from her cheek with the flat of her palm. In a frantic voice she began, "He was attacked."
"What?" Scorpius' voice rose.
Rose sobbed and covered her mouth quickly. She pulled her hand back and choked out, "he should- should be... okay-"
Scorpius' palm hit the table. "He should be okay?"
Someone called Rose's name and Scorpius looked past her. Lily and Albus were peering into the Great Hall from the Entrance Hall. Louis, Hugo and Lucy Weasley were with them.
Rose turned back to him. "I have to go," she said. "I'll owl you okay. Let you know what's happening."
"But-" Scorpius protested, half-standing.
"I'm sorry!" she cried and leapt to her feet, running to join her family.
Scorpius sank back into his seat, numb. He didn't understand. How- He stared hard at the table, blindly shaking his head.
He should be okay.
Only should be.
No, no, no, Scorpius thought. This wasn't happening. What was he supposed to do?
He didn't realise that someone had fallen into the seat beside him until Brian gripped his shoulders and he started. "Hey," he heard the boy say quietly and gently. "He's gonna be fine, Mal."
Hot tears spilled from his eyes filled as Brian pulled him into a hug. "He'll be okay, I promise."