There's always been that line, the one that has been so easy to cross. It was a small, etch-less boundary that he never understood the true meaning of until now, or times just like this. It was a scratch in eternity that Matt Donovan was sure he would be teetering on forever. He wasn't entirely positive if he crossed it at the church that day, but he was fairly confident that he came close.
Matt hissed as Jeremy helped peal off the worn bandage. "I should have done it." Came the boy's quiet statement. Matt looked up at his friend, the boy he considered a little brother. There was so much of his sister in him, and Matt wasn't sure if that was why he became so close with the other Gilbert, or if it was just because he was human, and someone that Matt had known his whole life. "No, Jer. It's fine. Elena would have never done it, if you offered." Matt sighed, watching as Jeremy pressed some rubbing alcohol into a cotton ball. They both knew he was right. Elena was on the brink of death in that church, but she would never have drank from her brother.
"Still, man.." Jeremy sighed. His eyes were dark and stormy. He was fighting, pleading with himself not to ask the question that they both knew would be brought up some time that night. "If you got something to say, just say it." Matt's deep voice came out as a grunt. Jeremy held the soft cotton to the tender skin for a few moments. "Why, Matt. Why would you offer your blood when Elena could have killed you." Jeremy let Matt take his time to think of the question while keeping himself busy, screwing the cap back on the bottle and searching for the new bandage. Matt rubbed his lips together.
Was he supposed to tell Jeremy, Elena's brother, that it was because he was in love with her, that he would always be? Was it as simple as saying it's what a friend would do for another newly turned vampire friend? Nothing about it was normal, but the conversation was light, despite the situation. Matt feared that they were growing far too used to things like this.
Elena was in love with someone else. That much he always knew. There was always something in the way, blocking their future, keeping him at a distance. That cold wall wasn't in her eyes anymore, not when he looked at her now. Though he was sure his eyes never changed, his heart never did either. It was redundant, and pathetic, and made him a horrible person, but as far as Matt was concerned, you didn't chose who you loved. That was why he forgave Elena, why he knew Caroline forgave him, even though he didn't deserve it. Just because the one you want doesn't want you, it doesn't make it any easier to let them go.
"She saved my life, I call it even." Matt smiled. They both knew that wasn't the truth, not the whole truth. Matt appreciated what Elena did, sacrificed herself. She did what she thought was right, and Matt was doing exactly the same thing. He wouldn't be here without her, and though he was ready to give up, if Elena Gilbert thought he was worth it, than he had to, too. She meant so much to him. Too much.
Matt looked up at Jeremy, a knowing smile on his lips. "Thank you." Jeremy whispered. "You saved her life. Well... you saved her." Matt smiled at that. Elena hadn't thanked him yet, but there wasn't any time. He wasn't sure if she ever would, but knowing that she was okay, that she would wake up tomorrow, it was enough for him. "Hey, I'm gonna get going." Matt started, standing up. He still felt a little dizzy, but nothing he couldn't handle. "You sure?" The quarterback nodded. He didn't want to be there when Elena got back, and he didn't want to face the reality that she probably wouldn't. "See you Jer. Thank, for.. this." Matt drew attention to his freshly bandaged neck with a sheepish and drowsy smile. Jeremy Gilbert nodded and watched him walk away.
Matt knew that he was stupid for still harboring all those feelings for his ex girlfriend, that so much had happened since the start of eleventh grade until now, and there was no way they would ever find their way back to each other. Elena was a vampire, she would live forever, and one day, later on in her endless life, she wouldn't even remember who Matt Donovan was. But for Matt, she'd always be his highlight. Because Elena was the one, she was who he wanted to spend his life balancing on that line for, and everybody knew it.