For Better or for Worse
There were always going to be problems. But that was to be expected. For better or for worse right? Dean certainly thought so, and he wasn't going to hold his breath while things actually went well, wondering when it was all going to fall apart.
He was going to enjoy this. Enjoy the look on Sam's face when the younger hunter laughed to his older brother about needing to teach Cas how to tie his own tie as he stepped out of an extra room in the court house. The calm smile the judge gave him as he waited at the front, shifting nervously from foot to foot. The cheesy wedding tune that echoed through the building, empty but for its four occupants.
But most of all he was going to enjoy the happy if questioning look in blue eyes as Cas took his place beside Dean, his whole body going still as if moving would somehow break the spell or at the very least wreak havoc on the neatly knotted tie around his throat.
In fact, Dean wasn't even going to stifle the happy laugh that escaped him when the angel focused so intently on pushing the ring up his finger, the question I'm doing this right, right? Dean, am I doing this right? all but flashing over his head.
And he was definitely going to enjoy the impossibly long kiss that followed- even if there was some breath holding.
For better or for worse.
It was moments like those that he clung tightly too during times like these, when the whole world was doing its utmost to fall apart around them, reaching out to drag them down into the final recesses of a darkness he wasn't sure they'd ever really get away from.
"God damn it Cas, MOVE!"
And again they were running, racing for the metal gate that drew the line between life and death, leaning back against it as it slammed closed behind them, only the inhuman snarls of the Croats and their own labored breathing filling the air around them.
They were only one problem. One Dean knew how to deal with as easily as if you'd asked him to take apart the engine of his Impala.
But the other one… the one that took him so completely off guard every fucking time came again when Cas looked over at him. The distant light of his grace no longer glimmered out from behind endless blue eyes.
Instead there was loss. Pain. Something permanently broken. Even when a smile pulled at the man's lips, connecting just barely with the edges of his eyes as his breath finally came slower now they'd stopped running, could Dean see the shattered edges of the angel he'd once known.
Then he was laughing. It was an equally broken sound, the kind that came from someone who could no longer count the number of times he'd escaped death. The kind that said he no longer knew how hard he was actually trying to…
"Well. That was quite close." Laughter laced the statement.
"Yeah. Gettin' slow Cas." It was a tease, but both men froze for a fraction of a second- a heavy dark sadness pressed into so few words- before Dean shoved his hand in his pocket and pulled out a little orange bottle that clinked with each shift of his fingers, breaking the silence. He cleared his throat and held it out. "Here. Found these on the run. Think they'll work?"
Cas reached out, the scratched metal of his wedding band glinting dully in the evening light. He opened the bottle, shook a few pills into his hand and tossed them down without so much as a moments inspection, the muscles of his throat working easily even without the help of water. Replacing the cap he stuffed the bottle down into his own pocket and grinned up at the hunter, moving forward and sealing his mouth over Dean's in an unintentional mockery of the kind of kiss they'd once shared.
"Thank you Dean. They're perfect." He touched the hunter's face gently and for a moment Dean could see everything they both still clung to. Everything they'd once been. Everything they'd never be again.
Then Cas winked and moved away, leaving the man to stand alone…
For better or for worse.
A/N: Alrighty guys, sorry for the short deviation from Worth but a friend of mine and I were discussing how upsetting it would be not only for Dean to watch Cas fall apart, but to know he was the one supplying the angel's method of escapism.
Enjoy your heartbreak.