Thank you to those who have reviewed...and those who haven't...well. You make me sad. NOW ONWARDS!
"It was a minor explosion Steve!" Tony defended as Steve stood at the lab entrance, arms crossed in front of his broad chest and his face the picture of disapproval. Tony and Bruce were standing in front of him, feet shuffling guiltily. Bruce had pushed his goggles up into his hair making the slightly curly brown mass stick in all directions. His shirt was singed in a couple places, and his face was covered in soot except where his goggles had covered. Tonys arms were covered in soot while oil was smudged on his grinning face, hair sticking straight up because he had been running his hands through it while he worked.
"Tony." Steve said firmly. "The entire tower shook."
"What? Really? Jarvis, record that! Bruce, I think we need to-"
"No! Stop. Tell me what on earth you two were doing down here." Steve demanded before they could leap back into the science realm no one else existed in.
"Cap, you won't understand even if we do tell you! We aren't going to kill anyone, so what's the problem?" Tony whined, looking back at the mess of wires on the work table longingly.
"Because Tasha almost shot a wall, Thor was swinging his hammer around to defend against the 'loud attackers who dare rattle our dwellings' , and Loki is having a panic attack." Steve growled, glaring at both scientists. "You should have at least given us warning that you were working with something that might explode."
Both scientists deflated, Bruce more so than Tony.
"My apologies Steve, I really didn't think anything would explode. Is Loki alright?" Bruce asked worriedly, pulling his goggles off his head and tossing them on a bench nearby. Tony rubbed his beard, trying to look like he didn't care.
"Once I convinced Thor we weren't being attacked he started to calm him down, I don't know if it worked though. I rushed down here to make sure the two of you weren't dead!" Tony winced when Steve's voice went up a few octaves.
"Sorry Cap, I'm still not use to having people I need to warn when I blow shit up. Maybe I could get Jarvis to automatically do it..."
"Just...just warn us next time alright? I thought for sure this was the day I was going to come down here to a dead Tony and the Hulk destroying what was left of the lab!" Steve wouldn't admit that while Loki had been gasping on the couch held up by Thor while Clint and Natasha armed themselves, the claws of fear had held a firm grasp on his stomach. He had bolted down the stairs to get to the lab, readying himself for the absolute worst.
"That is never going to happen." Tony scoffed, rolling his eyes. "You worry far too much Cap. But...I suppose the jolly green giant and I can come up for air while everyone calms down. We were due for a food coffee break soon anyway. Its what, nearly lunch time?"
"Try four in the afternoon." Steve deadpanned. "You two would work yourselves to death if I didn't break my way into the lab to get you these days."
"No! You're fucking with me!" Tony exclaimed.
"Language!" Steve snapped, glaring. "There is no need to speak like that! I'm going back upstairs, I expect to see the two of you at seven for dinner. And if come up covered in filth, you won't be sitting at the table."
"Its my table!" protested Tony. One look at Steves expression had him instantly backtracking. "I mean of course Steve, thanks, we won't be late."
With another hard look at the two scientists, Steve started back up the stairs.
"Ok, we need to adjust the-"
"No no no Tony, we need to add-"
"Bruce are you high?! That will definitely go BOOM, and then the Cap will find some way to lock us out of the lab!"
"Not if we-"
Shaking his head, Steve sighed and walked back to the common room, where Loki was hugging his knees while Thor hugged him, and Clint and Natasha were surveying the room with their weapons have raised.
"Everyone relax, Bruce and Tony were just experimenting. Everyone is alive and everything is fine." Steve said softly as he entered the room, smiling at Loki kindly in hopes of getting him to relax.
"Thats what they want you to think..." Clint muttered as he dropped his bow, eyes still flitting around suspiciously. Tasha simply switched the safety on and began cleaning her gun, feet propped up on the coffee table.
Oh home sweet home.
Loki didn't understand it. These were the people who had defeated him? The mortals he had feared would end him when his brother brought him down to earth once more? It didn't seem possible now.
"Clint! I know you finished off my cereal you bastard! Face me like a man bird brain!" Stark hollered at the ceiling, hands on his hips. Barton stuck his head out of a vent, grinning down into the kitchen lazily.
"Wasn't labeled! Make Cap cook you something." the archer said without moving from his spot. Stark looked infuriated.
"Get out of my vents! One of these days I'm going to fill them with...with...with spikes! Or maybe I'll just build a robot to chase you out every time you go up there!"
"Tony, calm down and take a seat, I'm making french toast. And look at it this way, since Clint took your cereal he doesn't get any." the Captain said, raising an eyebrow when Stark opened his mouth again. With a huff the billionaire dropped onto a stool at the kitchen island, still throwing glares at the ceiling. The Captain had turned back to the stove while Banner sat next to Stark, sipping a coffee.
"Don't treat me like a child Steve." he muttered darkly, pulling a mug of the dark beverage towards himself.
"Don't act like one and maybe he won't." Banner said without looking up from his newspaper.
"Science bro, you are suppose to side with me in all- HEY!"
Agent Romanoff had slid into the seat between Loki and Stark, proceeding to then steal his coffee and down the entire thing before giving the Captain a hopeful look. Without so much as looking at her the man picked up the full coffee pot and placed it on the island closest to the only female team member, who poured herself another cup with an expression as close as hers ever got to glee.
Barton dropped down from the ceiling, grabbing two mugs out of the cabinet and filling them both with coffee from pushing one towards Stark. Stark just mumbled darkly into his mug, glaring at everyone now. Barton smirked and hopped up on the counter next to Rogers, who gave him a brief look of disapproval before disregarding him.
"FRIENDS!" Loki jumped at his brothers entrance, feeling foolish as he was the only one to do so. Thor happily took the only available seat next to Loki, beaming at the grumpy rest of the team. "Tis a fine morning, is it not?"
"No Thor, it isn't. Because mornings are never 'fine', they are never 'glorious', and damn you for being a morning person. Shut up, hate life, and drink coffee like the rest of us!" Snapped Stark, scowling over the top of his mug. "What is it with blondes and liking mornings? Only adds to the blonde stereotype..."
No one bothered to respond to the cranky genius as Rogers passed out plates then put the gigantic platter of french toast on the counter. The Captain speared six pieces and placed them on his own plate before anyone else had moved, and then the platter was nearly empty in seconds.
Every morning went like this, bar the mornings of mission. Those mornings were even more confusing, as the team would run around half dressed shouting at each other searching for clean pieces of uniform and their favorite weapons.
How were earths mightiest heros so...domesticated?
"Hawkeye, do you have eyes on Widow?"
"Aye Cap, Widow is on the ground fifth avenue, shes faring well but her com got broken. I'll keep an eye on her. We know whose robots these are yet?"
"I hear ya Cap, Jarvis and I agree that we have never seen these before, but they are rather primitive. Whoever we are working with isn't a mastermind. Now if I just..." Steve looked up to see Tony hovering with a robot in his hand, eyes widening when he punched through the robots head and pulled out a little box as the metal shell dropped to the ground. "I should be able to trace the point of operation from the receiver... Do I have permission to go kick some ass?"
"Take Thor with you Iron Man."
"Point Break! Follow me!"
"I am happy to follow you into battle Man of Iron!" Thor bellowed, not bothering to use the coms. The two flying members of the team took off to the south, leaving Steve with only Hawkeye as his eyes in the sky.
"Widow down, I repeat Widow down, I'm heading for her!"
Make that no eyes in the sky.
"Copy that Hawkeye. When you reach her update me." Steve said, turning to watch the Hulk happily bash two robots together. Well at least someone was having fun with this.
The robots were strange, hovering slightly and looking a bit like the eve robot in the Wall-E movie that Tony had made him watch. They weren't difficult to fight, but there was just so many of them! Tossing his shield, Steve lopped off another two robots heads, watching them clatter to the ground in satisfaction as he caught his shield.
It wasn't because he cared. Why would he care what happened to the Avengers? Except his brother. Yes, that was why Loki had started watching the Avengers battles with baited breath in the living room while they were gone. No other reason than concern for his brother, and only that because he owed Thor.
"Jarvis is she ok?" Loki gasped as he watched Natasha get overwhelmed with the robots.
"No need to fret sir, as you can see Master Clint has come to her aid." the robotic replied.
"I was not fretting." sniffed Loki, relaxing back into the couch.
"Of course not sir."
Fantastic, now even the voice in the ceiling was mocking him. Before he could move to shut off the television to prove to Jarvis just how much he didn't care about the team, the image changed to Iron Man plummeting into the ground, landing hard and tumbling down the street ripping up asphalt as he went. Loki shot out of his seat as Captain America sprinted to Tony's side with the Hulk following not far behind, defending his team mates.
"Connecting speakers to the com system within Master Starks suit now."
"Tony! Tony, say something! I can't tell if you're ok in there, and I will rip off the faceplate again! Don't think I wont! Tony!"
"Dammit Cap, don't touch my suit." The God of Mischief collapsed back on the couch. rubbing his face. "Point Break is destroying the control center, I was leading off the guard bots. Ow... I think I might have a bruise or two."
"Tasha and I are ok, if any of you care!" there was an odd rustling sound and a yelp before Natasha came over the coms. "I have a sprained wrist, other then that Clint and I are uninjured beyond a bruise or scrape. The bots are all down, the quinjet is on its way, and the cleanup crews are already showing up."
"I'm never leaving this couch again." Tony groaned, a bag of frozen peas pressed to the purpling side of his face. "And where the hell are my ice packs! I know I bought some, and someone as rich as I am should not be using peas on their abused face!"
"Natasha is using one on her ankle and one on her hip, and Clint has one on his back and one on his shoulder. You only have four Tony, and good luck getting them to trade you." Bruce said, frowning at all of his injured teammates. "I thought today was suppose to be an easy mission, what happened?"
"Oi, Banner, shut up." Tony snapped. "The Hulk was the only one having fun."
"Stark, I'm in too much pain to listen to you bitch right now." groaned Clint. "Can't we just watch a movie with a ton of explosions that go against physics and guns and sexy people while wrapped up in fuzzy blankets and call it a night? Steve, pass me a fuzzy blanket."
Steve barely managed a nod through a yawn and tossed Clint the first blanket his hand found, cocooning himself in the second one with a tired sigh. Clint grumbled about stupid Steve giving him the lame green blanket instead of the cool purple one, but threw the blanket he got over Natasha and himself.
Loki watched with raised eyebrows as the two master assassins on the couch moved closer together, almost cuddling but avoiding each other's injuries. Steve had curled up with the blanket then rolled his eyes and lifted an arm at Tony's pout, the billionaire instantly scrambling under the blanket and curling into Steves side, with a whispered conversation of why are you in my personal space Tony, shut up space heaters don't talk Steve. Thor had fallen asleep in the large chair, leaving Loki sitting on the couch next to Bruce.
"So this is what happens to earths mightiest heros." mused Loki under his breath, forgetting that Bruce could hear him. He jumped when the other man chuckled, shaking his head.
"At this time of night after a day like today, they aren't earths mightiest aren't even geniuses, assassins, soldiers, or gods...or rage monsters. No, by this time we are all so damn tired, we are just people who need some shut eye."
Review? Maybe? Sometimes? This time? PLEASE?