I know I've been gone for so long. I didn't know it would take me this long. When I say RL got in the way I truly mean it. I'm sorry for taking so long but I'm back on the horse and I don't plan to let it throw me again.
There are a few of you reading this that know there wasn't a day I didn't talk about this fic or how annoyed I was at myself and life for not writing sooner. There's an even smaller amount of you that know how much I love this story and never doubted for a second that I wouldn't come back. Thank you for believing in me.
There are two of you who pushed me to post this as soon as possible. For one of you, this story brought me to you and for the other I knew you before you became a fan. Also, muahahahahaha I turned you into the dark side aka fanfiction ;)
Without further ado, here's the continuation of You Drive Me Wild.
P.S. This was supposed to be longer but I decided to cut it just as a way to ease everyone back in.
Frédéric Chopin- Prelude in E-Minor
Jessica asked me what it's like to have your heart broken, at the time I didn't have an answer because she caught me off guard.
But after thinking about it I now have an answer.
This is it.
Being heartbroken is something surreal. Something that you think isn't happening to you but guess what? It is. You hope against hope that what's happening, isn't happening to you. It's a dream. It's not you. It's happening to someone else.
In a split second you tell yourself, 'no this is not me. I'm dreaming. Oh wait, it is for me. It is me. No, don't go. Don't leave.' As this is happening you want to stretch out your hand and clasp on to their t-shirt and stop them.
Desperately, you tell yourself this isn't real.
That the pain you're feeling isn't real. It's not possible. It's not real.
You tell yourself that it's just an argument. They're confused. They're having a bad day. You'll get through this.
You'll get through this and everything will be back to where it was before. Happy and carefree and perfect because you love each other.
But he's walking away from you.
You feel cold.
You feel so so so so cold.
As if you're used to nothing but eighty-degree weather and you move to a place where the highest temperature is twenty degrees.
In my case, he's walking away.
His tall figure is walking away from me into this fog. Into this black and gray fog that you know is full of poison and dread and evil because you're not part of it.
You yell his name over and over but he doesn't listen or ignores you. It's worse if he ignores you and keeps walking. Keeps walking into the fog. Away from you.
You want to run after him, tell him not to go. Tell him that you hate him for leaving but you love him so, so much t's ripping you apart. Like a thousand tiny knives coming from all directions and sinking into you.
It's always the papercut that hurts more than a regular kitchen knife cut.
The tiny pinpricks hit you more than if you'd cut your finger chopping a million heads of lettuce.
It hurts like you couldn't believe.
Like you could never get up.
Like you could never move on.
Like you could never imagine a world without him next to you.
It hurts Jessica.
It hurts so much.
It hurts so much you just want to go away and cry but you can't because the tears are trapped and welled up in your eyes and the cries are jammed against your throat and it creates a different kind of pain.
A different kind of emotional choking.
Getting your heart broken hurts. It hurts so much.
But what hurts the most is if you're the reason he walked away into that poisonous fog.
This might be the effect but you are the cause.
You caused this.
And by you I mean me, Jessica.
I caused this.
Like I said up top, this was part of a larger chapter and I decided to break it away as a stand-one. The rest of the chapter is to follow. It's good to be back (: Thank you to those who haven't left and to those who still have a bit of love for this passion project of mine. I love you all for it x