A man was sitting at his desk. He had grey hair and was wearing a business suit. The intercom on his desk had sounded, he clicked the button and responded, "Yes?" The person on the other side replied, "Doctor Clayton Forrester would like to have a word with you." The man buried his face in his hands and was silent for ten seconds, he then replied back, "Send him in." A few seconds later, the doors to the man's office opened, revealing a man in a strange green lab coat. His hair was messed up giving that Albert Einstein style. He was wearing round glasses and had his arms crossed. He walked inside the office, "Evening, Mr. CEO of Gizmonic Institute."
"You can call me, Mr. Hodwood," the man at the desk said. Doctor Forrester sat down in front of him. Mr. Hodwood stared at him, "What the hell are you wearing?" Doctor Forrester looked down at his clothing and made a panicking face, "Oh, this? This is nothing. You see, I celebrate Halloween early and-"
"Never mind that," Hodwood said, "Why did you need to see me?"
"Ah, yes," Doctor Forrester said, "It's about the new janitor here, Joel Robinson. He mainly cleans up the satellite loading bays of the newly finished Satellite of Love. My client Doctor Earhart and I had to stop our daily duty because he spilt his coffee in the main bridge of the satellite. He seems to always cause trouble around us, and I decided to file a complaint."
Mr. Hodwood smiled, "Joel Robinson is a good janitor, I am sorry if he causes any trouble to you. Have you informed to him that he disrupts your work?"
"As a matter a fact I have," Forrester said, "But all he does is says, 'I'm sorry, won't happen again,' and then later he does it again."
"Surely he doesn't do it on purpose," Hodwood pointed out.
"Forgive me," Forrester said, standing up, "It seems I have a break time with my clients. Good day, Hodwood."
"Good day," Hodwood said back just as Forrester was closing the door.
Typical, Forrester thought. He made his way over to newly constructed break room in Gizmonic Institute, where Earhart was waiting. Forrester walked into the room and nodded at Earhart, "How's it going, Larry?" Earhart nodded back, "Good, Clay" There were other people in the room, including Joel Robinson, who was mopping up a spilled drink. Forrester filled a cup with water and stood with Earhart and whispered, "Have you retrieved control of the Satellite of Love?"
Earhart nodded, "Yes, I hacked into the system. We can launch it anytime at all."
Forrester made a silent cackle and whispered, "Time to shoot Joel into space." Forrester turned around and faced Joel, "Ah, Joel Robinson, I have seemed to find a large mess in the main bridge of the Satellite of Love and can't seem to find anyone to clean it, would you do the honors?"
"Oh sure," Joel said, "Lead the way." Earhart and Forrester walked Joel over the Satellite of Love. Earhart, Forrester, and Joel were all looking up at the towering satellite.
"Ain't she something?" Joel said. They continued to walk up to it as they let Joel go inside ahead of them. Forrester and Earhart hurried over to their office and opened up the controls of the satellite.
"Get ready to launch," Forrester ordered to Earhart. Earhart typed the command "launch" into the main controls of the Satellite of Love.
Joel made his way over to the main bridge of the Satellite of Love but couldn't see any mess. He kept looking around with his mop grasped in his hand. As soon as he stood up, he felt a faint shake, like a small earthquake. He decided to leave the ship since there was no mess to be found, but just as he was about to leave the room. But a large violent shake stopped him. Joel was knocked off his feet and landed on his bottom. The shake continued to happen as Joel felt a strange weightlessness, as if he was ascending in the air. This happened for a few more minutes until Joel started float around as if he were in zero gravity. A strange computer generated voice spoke, "Congratulations, test subject, you are now in orbit." Joel kept floating, for some reason it was a wonderful feeling. He was like this for a few minutes until the computer voice announced, "Imported gravity from Earth is now being dispensed." Joel suddenly fell to the floor of the main bridge of the Satellite of Love. He stood up and tried to walk around. He felt like he swallowed huge amounts of Styrofoam. He almost felt as though he was going to vomit. He noticed a large door and standing before it as it turned around was a screen with a lifeless camera in front of it. The camera then turned on and focused at Joel. The screen turned on revealing Doctor Forrester and Doctor Earhart manically laughing. Forrester stopped laughing and explained himself, "Now Joely-Poely. I've been looking around for test subjects for my evil plan, and I feel you are the perfect test subject. You see, I have shot you into space to show you the worst movies of all time. I figured being in space would be the best location to be so that way nobody can find you, unless the Hubble telescope crashes in to the satellite (actually happens in MST Movie) or if a meteor shower occurs. But I assure you, that is highly unlikely.
"What the hell do you want me on here for?" Joel asked. Doctor Forrester gave his maniacal smile, "Goodbye, Joel. I hope you like it here." The screen was turned off. Until it turned back on immediately after, "Oh yes, Joel. Your movie today is The Green Slime, a science fiction schlock that frankly makes me want to take a crowbar to the director's head." The screen turned off again with a loud siren following it and a screen below it saying, "MOVIE SIGN".
"You have movie sign, enter tunnel," computer voice said. Joel turned around and saw a strange tunnel. He proceeded inside and began to slide down. It was like those slides that you head down on at playgrounds. But this one was more extreme. There were sharp turns and many jumps until Joel flew out the end of it like a cannon ball and landed in what seemed to be a cinema theater, but there was only one row. He sat in the second to last row as the movie began. The Green Slime appeared in large green letters on the screen. Joel didn't know what to make of this movie, so he decided to do what he called riffing. He mocked the movie in anyway he could. He then decided to get up and leave the theater after a while. It wasn't very fun to riff on a movie without having a friend with you. He was good at making inventions so he figured he could build some friends. He looked around the large ship to find many spare parts lying around such as an old gumball machine, the face guard of a hockey mask, a black tube, a bowling pin, and many other stuff. He started to make his first friend, which he called Cambot. What he tried to do was give that boring camera in the main bridge artificial intelligence. That way he knows a friend is watching him. After he was finished with this, he decided to make something out of the old gumball machine. He added a small little device below it which he called the hover skirt, which would make the bot able to move around. He set op the circuit board which he put in the coin slot's location and then slapped the robot.
"Ow!" The robot yelped, "Jeez, what the hell was that for?" Joel grinned, "Hello, there, little buddy. Welcome to the Satellite of Love." The robot moved a little, "Aw damn, I thought we were going to be in Vegas."
Joel smiled. This is perfect, he thought. Making robot friends that can also riff on movies with you, if he was going to be on here for the rest of his life then so be it.
"So what's your name?" the bot asked. Joel stood up, "Well, I'm Joel Robinson, I'll be your friend from now on."
"Well, do I have a name?"
"Sure, I'll call you Servo," Joel said.
"No," Servo said, "I got a better idea. How about calling me Tom Servo. You see, it has a good ring to it."
"Fair enough," Joel said, "You are Tom Servo."
"Perfect," Tom said, "TOM SERVO! What a cool guy!" Joel chuckled and went on to the next robot that he built. It was made out of many random pieces, the face guard of a hockey mask, ping pong balls for eyes, and a bowling pin chain sawed down the middle for a snout. He tapped the hockey mask bot. It started to squirm, "Hey that hurt!" He then looked around and then looked at Cambot, "Hello world! How are you!"
"Hello, there buddy," Joel said, "I think I'm going to call you Crow."
"Crow?" Crow said, "What for?"
"It stands for Cybernetic Remotely Operated Woman."
Crow had an incredulous look on his face, "A woman! I'm a woman!"
"Well," Joel said, "I couldn't find any boy parts for you so you're a hermaphrobot.
"Oh my God!" Crow shrieked. He continued, "Oh well, I won't let that get in the way. I'll be walking down the streets and people will say, 'Hey look, it's Crow. He's a wisecracker!'"
Joel went over to the next robot that he built using pieces of metal, black tubes to keep it powered, and a fluorescent light for its eye, "Hello, Gypsy. The robot looked up, "Hello Joel Robinson." Joel was surprised, it (or she) all ready knew his name. The movie sign buzzer sounded, and Joel grabbed both Crow and Tom, "WE GOT MOVIE SIGN!" He turned to Gypsy, "Check the ship's engines and systems, its what you're programmed to do." They all entered the tunnel and into the theater. They sat on the last three seats and enjoyed the movie.
"The Green Slime?" Tom said, "The Green Slime is what I cough up after listening to Robert Smith."
Joel thought that his days, weeks, months, or hell, even years on the Satellite of Love wouldn't be so bad.
In the not too distant future
Next Sunday A.D.
There was a guy named Joel
Not too different from you or me
He worked at Gizmonic Institute
Just another face in a red jump suit
He did a good job cleaning up the place
But his bosses didn't like him so they shot him into space
We're sending him cheesy movies
The worst we could find (la la la!)
He'll have to sit and watch them all and we'll monitor his mind (la la la!)
Now keep in mind Joel can't control where the movies begin or end (la la la!)
Because he used the extra parts to make his robot friends!
ROBOT ROLL CALL!
Cambot! (Pan left)
Gypsy! (Hi girl!)
Tom Servo! (What a cool guy!)
Croooow! (He's a wisecracker)
If you're wondering how he eats and breathes and other science facts (la la la!)
Keep to yourself its just a show
I should really just relax!
For Mystery Science Theater 3000!