A/N: Hello and welcome to an alternate universe where all of the Community characters are reduced to their eleven-year old selves and all just happen to be students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, too. This story is a birthday gift for my beautiful bestest friend, fatty_fat. I hope you enjoy the crossover goodness. I've tried my best to stay true to the canon of both Community and Harry Potter but inconsistencies may/will occur. Enjoy, and please review if you have the time.
Warning: There will be no shipping of any kind in this story. Sorry. But actually I'm not.
Chapter 1: Missive and a Mission
It was just a normal Saturday at the Nadir household. Mr. Nadir was working weekends and Mrs. Nadir had gone to brunch with her friends. Their only child, eleven year-old Abed, was sitting on the living room couch according to ritual, still in his pajamas with his duvet cover wrapped around his shoulders. Enraptured by the latest dubbed episode of Pokémon: Gotta Catch 'em All, he scooped a spoonful of Lucky Charms into his mouth, chewing rhythmically and swallowing before reaching out for his mug of Special Drink. "Looks like Team Rocket's blasting of AGAAAAIN!" he mouthed in unison with the television audio. Grabbing his nearby notebook he jotted down:
Episode 402, "Pika Must Choose"
Minimal character development, no one evolves
Favorite Quote: "Pikachu, that's my hat!" –Ash
Preceding pages were filled with similarly detailed, methodically written notes of Abed's many favorite television shows. Pages in the back of the notebook were reserved for in-depth character analyses and weekly ratings data gleaned from his neighbor's recycled copies of Entertainment Weekly. This was his tenth notebook.
A light tapping sound broke Abed from his TV-viewing reverie. At the window to his left an owl hovered, clutching an envelope in its tiny beak. Abed cocked his head at the sight but immediately opened the sash to allow the bird passage. It promptly deposited the envelope into Abed's outstretched hands and perched on the television to await the recipient's reaction.
443 Skis and Snow Lane
Denver, CO 80201
the envelope read in calligraphy drawn by a slightly palsied hand. It had been sealed with a deep crimson wax monogrammed with the letter "H."
"Epic," Abed whispered to himself as he broke the envelope's seal.
HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY
Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore
(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)
Vice Headmaster: Craig Dumbledean
(Leisel, The Sound of Music, Dumbledean Productions, Youtube Licensing Corp.)
Dear Abed Nadir,
We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.
Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than July 31.
Abed's eyes darted back and forth, the contents of the letter by no means shocking him. He quickly flipped to the supply list.
"Robes, pointed hat, gloves, telescope, Waffling's Magical Theory…I already have half this list!" he exclaimed. Tearing a sheet from his TV-watching notebook, he scribbled "Yes" before hastily folding the note and nestling it gently in the owl's talons.
He offered the owl some of his Special Drink but the owl snobbishly recoiled, twisting its arrogant head and spreading its wings to fly. With a hoot it bounded out the way it had entered, soon lost in the nimbus cloud-filled sky.
Abed stood at the window, pensive, knowing that it would take a lot of planning and a lot of luck to get to Hogwarts sans parent-detection.
He'd get to it right away.
Right after Digimon: Digital Monsters, that is.
A/N: Thanks to the Harry Potter Wiki.