It was a wet October afternoon. The train journey was long and dull. Jeff sat alone, in an empty carriage, looking out of the window at the rain the pattered onto the window. The train passed a field where a group of boys were playing football. His cold eyes glanced over the happy faces before they faded from view. His gaze fell and his mind wandered into the deep depths of his mind that had been held shut for many years.
"Come on, Jeff! Let's play!"
"But Liu… I'm terrible at sport"
"So am I! But we're not out to impress! Come on!"
"Well… alright! But only because you asked!"
A sigh emitted from his throat; A sigh of forgotten regret.
"See, Jeff? You won! You beat the other team!"
"Yes! I knew you could do it!"
Jeff's fists clenched. He looked out of the carriage window again, trying to take his mind off of the painful memories. It was disturbing to him and almost frightening. When he got these memories, it meant the feeling had left him. He took a deep breath. No, the feeling had not left him. He was not left alone with only pain for company. The feeling was simply… resting.
"Damn it…" He muttered. His body was trembling, but he refused to believe it was from emotional agony. Besides, those events had ended and Liu was never going to return, so why cry?
"I love you, Jeff!"
"I love you too, Liu!"
"You're the best brother ever, you know?"
A single tear formed in his dry, dead eyes. It fell onto his lap. However, his facial expression did not change. Well, how could it? It was a permanent smile. He ran his fingers along the cuts in his cheeks. He felt more tears begin to prick.
"No…" Jeff grit his teeth, holding the tears back. He hated being defenceless against such painful thoughts.
"Liu, I'm so cold…"
"Come here, then!"
His breathing was shaky. Another tear escaped and ran down his cheek, just like the rain on the window.
"Stop it…" He growled to himself, wanting the feeling to kick in and stop his agony. But there was nothing. He wandered why it had left him.
When the train stopped, Jeff got out, stepping into the cold. He gave a small shudder and looked up, upon hearing thunder. The train continued its journey as Jeff left the platform. His hood was up, concealing his face as he walked down the dark street. He gulped a little, his chest feeling a little heavy from the experience he had on the train. Not once did he look up.
"Liu, it's raining pretty bad… We shouldn't go outside…"
"Come on, Jeff! It won't hurt!"
Jeff snarled at the returning memories of his childhood.
"Quick, Jeff! Stop being slow!"
"Liu! I'm going to slip…!"
The rain continued to pour, just like it had that day. Jeff remembered that day very accurately. Liu had taken him to the woods in the rain. They had been going up a rather steep hill. Liu was fast, so had no issues with falling. Jeff, however…
"Jeff? Jeff! Jeff! Oh geez… I'm so sorry…!"
…He had fallen from almost the top of the hill. He had slipped and fell, tumbling back down and hitting trees on the way down. The result was a fractured knee and skull. Jeff cringed at the memory. He remembered waking up in hospital afterwards.
"I've been in hospital far too many times…" He muttered to himself. The feeling was still vacant and the memories were still plaguing him. Crossing the street, he saw a small, quiet tavern. Sighing, he entered, dripping wet from the rain. He received a few looks, but ignored them and sat in a dark corner by the counter. Hell, if the feeling wasn't going to drown out his pain, the alcohol surely would. He ordered a few shots, drinking them rather quickly.
"Had a rough time?" The bartender asked, making conversation. Jeff scoffed.
"More so than you can imagine…" He muttered, downing a shot.
"Mind if I ask what your trouble is?" Jeff glanced at the bartender. He was young, possibly 20, so must have been relatively new to serving customers. He couldn't have been much older than Jeff, either way.
"…I lost my brother and now that's all I can think about…"
"Geez… That's really bad… Sorry for your loss…"
"Thanks…" Jeff glanced down into the glass of alcohol he was holding. The liquid glistened in the tavern light.
"I had a brother, too… He died in a fire some years ago…" The bartender muttered.
"That's rough… Mine was murdered…"
"Did they ever catch the killer…?" Jeff stayed silent.
"…No. They did not…"
"Wow… Talk about injustice, am I right?"
"I suppose…" The bartender looked at him.
"Hey, why don't you take your hood down?"
"It wouldn't do me any favours… I'm not exactly… Shall we say, "nice to look at"…"
"I see… My name's Michael, by the way"
"Jeff…" Michael beamed.
"Nice to meet you, Jeff. Even with these depressing circumstances" Jeff simply huffed an agreement, downing another shot. There was more silence, while he continued drinking the alcohol. He felt it slowly begin to invade his system. He felt disorientated and his mind went into a blissful numbing sensation.
"Seeing my brother die was like getting shot in the head… painful and bloody…" He mumbled, not making any sense of the words that tumbled from his mouth.
"Isn't it obvious? I killed him…" Michael looked sadly at him.
"Hey, don't blame yourself…" He said. He quickly talked to a man on the other side of the bar counter, asking him if he would cover for him. Michael walked out from behind the counter and sat beside Jeff. "Why blame yourself…? It wasn't your fault…"
"…I've been feeling like this all day…" Jeff admitted. Michael's tone sounded just like Liu's; So gentle and kind. Jeff noticed he even looked like Liu. Was this life's way of torturing him?
"…You're so much like him…"
"Yes… But you are not my brother…"
"Would it be good if I was…?" Jeff hesitated. What kind of question was that? Besides, would it be good if Michael was Liu? No. He would have killed Michael, just like he had Liu. But wouldn't it be amazing to know that Liu was alive?
"…I don't know, Michael… I really don't know… Can we get out of here…?" Michael smiled gently.
"Sure, Jeff" Michael led him outside, back into the cold air. Jeff shivered and they walked to a motel on the far side of the street.
"I have a room here. It's kind of like renting a place…" Michael told him. Jeff simply nodded, hands in pockets, quite wasted. When they entered the motel, Michael talked to the receptionist and received a key. He took Jeff up a few flights of stairs before opening a room door.
"Nice…" Jeff murmured. The room had crème walls and a red carpet. The future in the room matched them theme. There was a balcony, which was blocked out by red curtains.
"It's nothing major, but it's quite nice" Michael smiled, sitting on his bed. Jeff sat beside him, quietly, thinking. Suddenly, he found Michael pinning him to the bed.
"W-what the hell?!" Jeff exclaimed, eyes widening. Michael smirked.
"Let's see what's under that hood of yours" He purred, sitting Jeff up slightly and removing his hood. Michael's smirk merely widened at the sight. "Got a few scars, I see!" He laughed loudly, kissing Jeff roughly. Jeff struggled, growling. He managed to push Michael away.
"What do you want?!" Jeff snarled. His mind began to numb again, but this time, it was painful.
"You, clearly" Michael straddled Jeff forcefully, kissing him again. Who in their right mind would kiss him? Jeff could only wander. Michael moved slightly and began to take off Jeff's hoodie. Suddenly, Jeff began to laugh. Michael frowned. "What's so funny, Jeff?"
"Why are you doing this?" Jeff gave a cold smirk.
"Oh, well I'm into this sort of thing, I'm afraid." Micheal grinned. "I've done it to women, but you're the first guy"
"Oh really? How sick and twisted of you" Jeff's voice was almost song-like. Then, the feeling, which had slowly begun to return, exploded. Jeff's knife was in his hand and he had cut Michael fatally, a fresh wound on him going from naval to chin. Michael choked on blood, red liquid also gushing from the gash. Michael collapsed off the bed and Jeff got up, smoothing down his clothes.
"W-who are you…?" Michael squirmed weakly.
"Me? I'm a serial killer" Jeff lifted his foot and crushed Michael's head with one swift stamp of his boot. "Go to sleep, Michael…"
The night air was just as cold as the air of the day. Jeff had long since left the motel, and was walking on the outskirts of town. The feeling had returned to him, and he was much calmer then before. Leaving town, he wandered in the dark to where he originally planned to go. Clicking his tongue, he silently cursed himself for getting so easily sidetracked, and getting involved with a rapist.
After a while of walking, Jeff came to a graveyard, just outside of a village. He entered, quietly shutting the gate behind him. He looked around at the tomb stones, reading the names. He stopped at the graves he was meant to visit. There lay his parents, dead and buried.
"Hey Mom… Hey Dad…" He muttered, looking down at the graves. He pulled two flowers from his pocket and laid them in front of the graves. He didn't say another word, just simply looked at the grave stones. Then, he quietly walked away from them, then stopped again at another grave.
"Liu…" Jeff was about to sit down by the grave, when he saw the gaping hole where the body should have been buried. He glanced down it and saw pure darkness. The body had been taken. Jeff's eyes widened in shock and anger. Someone had dug up his brother. By the hole, was a simple piece of paper. Jeff snatched it up from the ground. It held only two words.