Rule #186: Do not allow Wally to try to get drunk.
"Come on, Wally. Just one more drink." Jason spoke as he handed the beer can to Wally, who was slightly wobbling in his chair.
They were back in Vegas, but this time it was only Wally, Roy, Jason, and their inter-dimensional friend, Clark Kent. Along with Clark, Wally had invited Raquel's body guard, Sheamus, his good friend, Zack Ryder, a cat named Gazpacho, Gunther the Penguin from Santa's workshop, and Vigilante. In the course of less than an hour, the group had lost Gazpacho to a betting table, Gunther had become a millionaire playing Blackjack, Zack Ryder tried to become a stripper, and Clark was almost abducted by a couple of fan girls.
Right now they were in a quiet corner of the club they were in, Jason, Sheamus, Wally and Roy submerged in a drinking contest. Sheamus was winning; of course he is, he's Irish!; Jason was in close second, Roy had given up after throwing up, and now Wally was trying to down his beer.
"Is this even legal, fella?" Sheamus asked, not slurring the slightest bit after ten beers.
Jason shrugged, only for Wally to grab the beer can and rapidly chug it down. "For Mother Russia!" He giggled wildly, his legs swinging as he lost his balance and ended up falling on his head.
Jason only shook his head as he grabbed another beer, while Sheamus looked at him as if he were crazy. "You gonna drink that or not?" Jason glared, ignoring Sheamus' worry.
The Irishman shrugged and decided to heck with it, Wally was a superhero, he could take care of himself. "Bottoms up." He raised his can, only for it to be slapped away by a pissed of Wally.
"And what do you think your doing?" The ginger slurred, glaring at the older red head.
"I think I'm enjoyin' me beer, fella." Sheamus answered slowly, eyeing Wally with caution.
Wally only glared at him then looked away, spitting on the floor. "You stupid Irish and your beer obsession! Do you not know one American dies every year because of a Teddy Bear attack?" He slurred, now back in Sheamus' face, making him feel uncomfortable.
"Uh... Fella, what do teddy bears have ta do with the Irish?"
"Everything! It's always the Irish! With their wee happy Leprechauns and their fancy days for drinking all you want! It's all propaganda!" Then Wally over the table, bumping his head once more.
Sheamus looked at Jason with worried eyes, while the younger man only shrugged, and suddenly Wally jumped up, eyes wide and crazy. "BOOYAKA BOOYAKA 619! ALTO! PORQUE ME DUELE LA ALMA! Y DEJE MI CARTERA EN TIJUANA!" He sang out Rey Mysterio's theme song, making Sheamus jump back in shock.
"CORRELE! CORRELE! ANDALE! YA LLEGO REY MYSTERIO! VATO CABRON DE SAN DIEGO!" He sang out loudly, starting to jump away from his two friends and towards the cat Gazpacho, who was sitting next to Gunther, wearing a dress.
Sheamus looked from Wally back to Jason, then asked, "Since when does he know Spanish?"
Jason shrugged, then suddenly Wally was back, yelling out loudly, "WELL, IT'S THE BIG SHOW!"
Sheamus sighed and passed a hand through his hair, and said, "We're never takin' him to Vegas again."
Rule #187: No airhorns, bicycle horns, or vuvuzuelas. Especially no vuvuzuelas.
"Stop the noise! Stop the noise!" Wally and Robin yelled out in unison as they ran all around the cave, their plan having backfired on them.
They had tried to turn on all of the noise things in the cave they had so they could piss off Batman, but he had turned their plan against them, and now they were locked inside the cave, all of the noises piercing their sense.
"We're going to die!"
Rule #188: Dog food is called dog food for a reason. Why would you even try to eat it?
"Robin?" M'gann asked as she stepped into the kitchen, only to find the youngest member of the team on all fours on the floor, his head in a dog bowl.
Said boy looked up now, his mouth full of dog food. "Ruff?" He asked, eyes wide behind his sunglasses.
"What are you doing, Robin?" She asked, somewhat scared.
Robin blinked, once, twice, then he went back to eating, shaking an imaginary tail.
Right then Jason walked into the kitchen, beer can in one hand and a collar in the other. "Come on, Robin. Time to get you back to the Doctor."
Robin's eyes widened once more, then before any of the normal people could react, Robin was running over Jason and out of the kitchen, going to hide from Jason and the doctor.
"What's wrong with Robin?"
"Oh, the usual. The Joker sprayed him with something that made him think he's a dog."
"My God, you Bat people are weird."
Rule #189: No more shipping League Members. It is not fun, and it could be hurtful when you are wrong.
"Okay, till now we have Vigilante with Shining Knight, Green Arrow with Black Canary, Billy with that girl... Uh, Sasha I think's her name, and Batman with Wonder Woman. Anything else?" Wally asked, looking over his notes.
The rest of the team was gathered in front of him, all of them looking at him intently. "I believe we should pair up Batman with Superman. I mean, Wonder Woman's pretty mean sometimes, and Supes needs to relieve some of the sexual tension." Robin spoke up, making the attention turn to him.
Wally nodded, then said, "True, but if we do that, what would happen to Lois? No, Batsy has to be with Diana, and then she'll be less mean."
The boy nodded, then Jason said, "I for one think that Roy, Artemis, and Kaldur have to either admit their feelings for each other, or annul this marriage."
The three people he spoke about glared at him, but M'gann squealed, "Oh! I think they're the cutest couple that ever lived! And, if we're talking about inter-team dating, I think Zatanna and Robin would just be precious!"
Wally rolled his eyes at this, then said, "We're talking about the League members, Megs, not ourselves... Now, what do you think about Hawkgirl and John Stewart and Hawkman with Guy? I mean, they'd made a good one."
Rule #190: Land dwellers eat fish. This does not mean you can attack them. You know who you are.
Wally glared at the waiter that was standing in front of the lobster tank, taking one out so that it would be eaten. He breathed in and out, trying to calm down.
"Okay, one... Two..." He moved his hands to his button up shirt, gripping it tightly. "THREE!" He yelled, then ripped the shirt open to reveal a suit that looked a lot like Aquaman's, but in red and yellow.
"Hand over the lobster, you cretin!" He yelled, standing up on the table and gaining the attention of everyone in the restaurant.
Everything was silent as the waiter stared at him, then sighed and said, "I am sorry sir, but you will have to be leaving."
"Not until you give me my fish friend back!" Then Wally was lunging at the waiter, making him drop the lobster.
Once he had gotten up from the shocked man, he kicked the aquarium, yelling out, "Be free brethren! Be free!"
Yeah... Don't ask... Also, I have a new poll on my profile, so go check it out and vote.