I'm really sorry if you got excited thinking this was another… chapter, I know this isn't a chapter. But, man, you got no idea how surprised I am by the reviews I'm getting. Even though I've now put 'Discontinued' on the summary, I'm still getting reviews every few days asking for more. And I gotta say, I'm really, really flattered and your kind words put a goofy ass smile on my face.
I'm sorry I don't reply to your reviews, most are on anonymous. But I figured I could put this up just to let you know that I'm very thankful to have your support with my cruddy excuse of writing. I'm baffled that you guys like this, I mean, it's kind of a predictable story-line and, well, I dunno, isn't it boring? I feel pretty bored when I write it. And I had started on chapter four. Like, pff, 400 words worth. But I can't get myself motivated to write anymore. I told a friend that I'd try and get back into it for Pewdiecry week in September. And I've sat down and tried to write, but to be honest, I've forgotten the storyline for my own story, ha. I did have an idea of how I wanted to end it and all that, but I don't remember what it was. And the new idea that I came up with for the moment doesn't add up to the timeline of the real Pewdie and Cry meeting and becoming friends in real life.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhh dudes, seriously, like, I feel terrible because I want to finish it just to satisfy you all, I know how it feels to get sucked into a story only to find that it's not finished. It can piss you off. I know it pisses me off. So I understand if you're frustrated with me. I just, kgjasdljdkgh it's hard, man. Writing is hard for me. Once I have an idea and plot I can get pretty into it, but If I don't have that lil' spark or w/e I can't immerse myself into my own writing, and I just end up not liking what I write and I get self-conscious and pick at myself and put myself down. Blahblah, all that. In the end, it's too much effort. And I'm lazy. Shamefully so. While your words of encouragement really do help, it doesn't stop that stupid voice in my head that says this story will be shit if I continue it with half-assed effort.
Plus, I've sort of grown out of the Pewdiecry fandom. While I still love Pewds and Cry, I don't write drabbles for them anymore and I don't go onto my chairmodepewdie tumblr blog anymore either.
It's frustrating, I came on here to tell you all that I am done with this story, but now I feel bad and I want to try and continue, but at the same time I really don't because I barely have time for myself in real life to do other things I wanna do. So I'm all kdfjadjlghkadlfhgkh all over the place.
I don't know, I really don't. I can't exactly finish it by the next chapter, with where I wanted to go, this was originally gonna be at least 15 chapters long all up. And if I half-assed it and rushed it I suppose I could turn it shorter and… perhaps make it… 8… maybe. AGH just thinking about it makes me not want to write it. So much effort, and I got no ideas for how to finish it now since my original idea is gone.
I'm having a huge tug-o-war with myself at the moment. I don't know. That's all I can say. Just, don't get your hopes up is all. I'm not a very reliable person when it comes to writing. I'm big on Supernatural now, so I've been contemplating stories for that fandom, Pewdiecry is hard to write when my thoughts and ideas are on something entirely different.
-le sigh- We'll see.
Honestly though, I can't express enough how much I appreciate the reviews, I read every single one of them, and I'm even grateful for all the Swedish corrections, since I've been using a crappy online translator and I make mistakes with Pewdie's Swedish a lot xD
My recent reviewer, Cryaota made me wanna post this. (Your review was a nice surprise and got me thinking about my story, so thank you. Your words made me giddy ;w;)
I suppose that's all I wanted to say. I don't even know if this was a good thing to do or not, people are probably gonna be annoyed thinking I'd posted a chapter. I'm really sorry again skjasdklghdfklhg
But, yeah, thank you all.