Another idea I couldn't resist typing up. The beginning is complete and utter bullshit that I made up, but I think it helps explain my story. In this story, Naruto's status as the Kyuubi's container has been kept a secret.
Warning: this story is my perverted side taking over. There will be lemons.
Perverseness. Many think you pick it up though actions and example, and they would be wrong. It is understandable that they would come to that conclusion, after all, parents that act perverted around their kids will cause their kids to become perverts. The only thing is that it's not the behavior, it's the parents.
Perverseness is passed from parent to child. However, perverseness can be diluted. If a perverted woman has a child with a non-perverse man the child will have half of their mother's perverseness. The opposite also holds true.
You may wonder why, then, the entire world hasn't lost perverseness altogether, and then answer is simple, everybody is somewhat perverted. You can deny it for all eternity, but every human to have ever existed has been perverted to a certain degree, else no children would ever be born.
That perverseness is what attracts us to others. Women say that all men are perverted, and they are, but so are the women. In fact, women may be more perverted than men, and they get away with it. Men don't wear lingerie. Men don't flood the Internet with porn. Men don't walk around half naked (usually).
And why do they do this? Because they want attention, they want to be stared at 'perversely', because they are the bigger perverts.
As they want us to, we stare, leer, and make comments, and what do they do when we do this? They become angry, reminded of the perverseness they hate so much, reminded that they're being hypocritical.
So what happens when a women who openly admits to being a pervert has a child with an equally perverted man, having been impregnated by perverted acts?
The bane of women is born. Not a super pervert, no, something considered even worse;
A god of perversion.
When one of the biggest male perverts, Namikaze Minato, had a child with the woman who might have been the biggest pervert in the entire world, Uzumaki Kushina, that god of perversion was released into the world in the form of one Uzumaki Naruto.
Even the toad sage, jiraiya, a self-proclaimed super pervert and author of the Icha-Icha series could not equal the child in pure perverseness. Nor could he match the child's success.
While jiraiya had no problem announcing to the world his status as super pervert, he was discreet while performing any perverted acts.
Naruto, however, was not discreet, and had no issues with walking into the female side of the hot spring, or the woman's changing room. Hell, he had walked right into the lady's room with the confidence he inherited from his parents.
Of course, being a child may be a reason these things were so easy for him. Most women thought he was simply lost, and because he was an orphan they not only believed that he didn't know better, but pitied him.
His perfect innocent act certainly helped.
It wouldn't work for much longer, however, as he was almost a shinobi, an adult in the eyes of the village. Though this came with its own benefits, such as the ability to buy porn, access to the shinobi hot springs, and the ability to legally have sex.
Naruto had recently failed his gennin exam, which meant he would remain a civilian. It had perks, as mentioned earlier, but they wouldn't last forever. They would wear off a long time before his eighteenth birthday.
He was currently dashing through the forest, a large scroll strapped to his back; the scroll of sealing, containing all the village's kinjitsu, or forbidden techniques. It was treason to take it, or it usually was, but tonight it was his test, given to him by the assistant academy instructer, Mizuki.
He was to infiltrate the Hokage tower, grab the scroll, and meet Mizuki at the designated location without being caught, just like a real ninja. If he could do something as advanced as this he would be made a gennin, as there was no reason to waste such talent.
Getting the scroll had been easy, pathetically so. In fact, he didn't even have to sneak around. He had broken in and simply walked to the scroll vault, a large, secure room containing countless scrolls for various jutsu.
It was supposed to be locked, but all he did was kick it. If kicking it causes it to unlock, they may want to rethink village security, it was sad, really sad.
He had grabbed the scroll and walked out calmly. No alarms had gone off upon the scrolls removal, no patrols had passed him, hell, the secretary simply watched as he walked off with such important village property.
He landed in the forest clearing early, something common for him to do. He tried to take as few risks as possible throughout his life, risks could get you killed, after all, and he wasn't going to risk being later and missing his chance to become a ninja. Besides, all proper shinobi were punctual.
Somewhere within Konoha, a silver(white)-haired jounin sneezed all over his mask, making it unwearable. Lucky for that jounin, he had a spare.
Because he was so early (several hours), Naruto decided to do some reading. The grass in the clearing brushed against his black pants, tied to his shins with orange tape, and a slight breeze ruffled his plain white shirt.
The scroll was opened and, imagine his surprise when, the first, and most recent, entry had his name on it.
Curious, he channeled his chakra into it, gaining a small poof of smoke and a piece of paper in return.
'Naruto' It read. 'To the north, within the forest, is our secret home. We have left a more thorough explanation within. Channel chakra into the gate while pressing a bloody palm to it to unlock the property. Ignore the main house, and instead go to the guest home. It is in there that we left the explanation. Remember that we love you.
Screw being a ninja, his parents had left him a house! Then again, the house wasn't going anywhere, and it wouldn't be right to just leave a scroll containing village secrets lying on the forest floor. Damnit! Where was Mizuki? He wanted to be done with this stupid assignment already.
It was about fifteen agonizing minutes later that he was joined in the clearing. Though, this person wasn't Mizuki.
"Iruka-Sensei!" He exclaimed " What are you doing here? Did Mizuki send you in his place?"
"What?" Questioned the confused academy teacher. "Why would Mizuki be meeting you out here, after you had stolen the scroll of sealing?"
Beginning to question his orders, Naruto answered. " because it's an extra exam to see if I'm fit to be a shinobi."
Iruka's eyes widened as the realization hit him, hard. In fact, it hit him in the form of several shiruken lodged into his side, barely missing vital organs. Whoever had thrown them either had pathetic aim, or weren't looking to end his life.
Mizuki crouched on a nearby branch, his outstretched hand identifying him as the assailant.
"You weren't supposed to find him before me, Iruka." He said.
"Mizuki, why?" Asked the wounded instructor.
"Why? Why?" He sneered. " For power of course! Why else?"
"Naruto," Pleaded Iruka. "Take the scroll and run, don't let him get it!"
"He won't leave." Spoke Mizuki confidently. " Not if he wants to hear the S-rank secret about himself."
Secret? What secret? What about him could be so important as to be labeled an S-rank secret?
"What secret?" Questioned Naruto. Mizuki gave him a vicious smirk.
"The fact that, thirteen years ago, you, Uzumaki Naruto, attacked Konoha, as the Kyuubi no Kitsune!" Shouted the assistant instructor malice and venom dripping off every word.
"You are the reason so many people died, you are why the yondaime is no longer with us! You are a demon, and I will rid Konoha of you for once and for all!"
With that he let loose a giant shiruken he had on his back. It tore through the air, spinning madly. As it neared Naruto time slowed to a crawl, and then stopped altogether.
Use my power, master! Survive to claim what your parents left you, what's rightfully yours!
He could feel a burning deep within him. It was building up, begging to be unleashed upon his enemies. He could feel malice and bloodlust, but instinctively knew that it was directed only toward those who would stand against him.
"take it, take my power!"
Narrowing his blue eyes he spoke back in his mind.
"Give it to me." The second he spoke that simple sentence time reverted to normal. He barely got a chance to hear Iruka's warning before power, raw and uncontrolled, spilled forth from his body, blasting away the shiruken and setting trees ablaze.
It felt incredible, this power flowing through his body, overflowing around him, he felt he could take on the world, like he was invincible. Forcing his thoughts away from the power rush, he turned his head to see Mizuki, still crouched on the branch, hanging on for dear life.
It didn't take more than a thought for the energy around him to converge upon the traitor, burning the flesh from his bones, and leaving naught but a pile of slowly diminishing ash.
Smirking slightly, he commanded the power to dissipate, having no need for it. He turned to Iruka, who had watched with wide eyes.
"Some night, eh, Iruka-Sensei?" He commented casually. Iruka could only stare, unable to understand what had just happened. One second a giant shiruken was hurling toward the blond boy, the next second the shiruken is blasted back, the trees caught on fire, which had mysteriously stopped, and his traitorous assistant had been reduced to ash.
Naruto sighed. He had broken his sensei, great. Any other thoughts were interrupted be the Hokage's arrival, with him several ANBU.
"Naruto, what happened?" asked Konoha's leader.
"What happened here, or do you want the full story?" replied Naruto, one eyebrow raised and a smirk on his face.
"Full story, please." clarified Sarutobi, currently repressing the sweat-drop that was threatening to form.
And so, with amazing attention to detail the story was told, by the end of which the old Kage had his face firmly planted within his hand.
"Thank you, Naruto, though I could have gone without knowing every detail of all my female ANBU's underwear, and the fact that not only was my secretary going commando, but was masturbating at the time you walked out with the scroll.
The sweat-drops on each and every one of the ANBU were extremely visible, as were the blushes on the women, which could be seen over their masks.
"I try my best to be as accurate as possible, Hokage-Sama." said a grinning Naruto.
Said Kage cleared his throat. "Yes, very good, anyway, for your service to the leaf, I promote you, Uzumaki Naruto, to the rank of gennin, congratulations." following his announcement he handed Naruto a headband, the fabric long and black.
The headband was on Naruto almost instantly, hung loosely around his neck.
He gave Hiruzen a smirk. "Thanks, old man." The sweat-drops reformed above the ANBU. Who could possibly be so nonchalant about disrespecting one of the most powerful shinobi in the world? Apparently Naruto could.
"Hey, old man, I've got some business to take care of, I might be missing for a few days, just wanted to let you know." With that said, he turned and began walking randomly to the north (Left of the Hokage monument.).
"Ah, o-okay." What business could Naruto need to take care of? Hiruzen thought back on Naruto's activities. Soon afterwards he decided that he didn't really want to know what the god of perversion was doing, after all, he was now a legal adult.
All shinobi in the clearing felt a shiver run down their spines when they realized that, especially the female ANBU, who had come to realize that the blond pervert had managed to see their panties when they were all dressed in the standard ANBU uniform. How was that possible?