Author's Note: Hi everyone, this is my first fic...I hope you like it. Reviews would be lovely, too!
I really hope that no one else has done this story before.
*note*: diary entries and flashbacks are in italics
I don't own Doctor Who, or David Tennant, which makes me quite sad.
"Rose Tyler." Those were my last two words to you, and I hate myself for that. Of all the things in the whole bloody universe that I wanted to tell you in that moment, I get cut off at "Rose Tyler." I will never forgive myself for that, for letting you get taken away from me like that. So I guess that's partly why I'm writing in this diary, wellllll Time Lords don't keep diaries. Letters. I'll call this my collection of letters for you, Rose Tyler. I'll tell you all about the adventures that we could have (should have) had.
The Time Lord, with the universes' most ancient and sad eyes, closed the tattered, old journal that he had picked up one day in London, while Rose was visiting her mother. He hadn't wanted her to see that he had bought the journal, but she had found it. The Doctor opened the journal to the very last page, where Rose had glued a picture of the two of them together that she had taken while they were visiting New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New York. She was smiling that cheeky smile of hers and he looked genuinely happy for the first time in a few decades. He closed the book again, and studied it more. He remembered the day he bought it very clearly.
The Doctor had spotted the beaten up, old notebook on a table in the back of a second hand bookstore. Its cover was black, and on the front, inscribed in gold, was "Thoughts." Rose had laughed at him as he picked it up curiously. "The Diary of a Time Lord, sounds like a bloody sitcom!" she mocked him, smiling and sticking out her tongue playfully at him. His first thought when he had seen it was to get it for Rose as a Christmas present, which was fast approaching. But seeing as she had already seen it, and thought that it was funny, he had rejected the idea.
"Oi! Time Lords don't keep diaries."
"Sure, sure," Rose smirked. He smiled too, teasing her back.
"Watch it Miss Tyler," He warned her as he wiggled his eyebrows at her. He walked to the front of the store quickly and paid the cashier, somewhat hoping that Rose hadn't see him buy the book. Hiding the book in his jacket pocket, he walked towards the back of the store again, relieved to find her still standing there.
"Oi, where did you go?" She looked genuinely curious, her head tilted a little to the side, and he couldn't help but notice that little glint in her eyes.
"Thought I heard something." He grabbed her hand and started to lead her back towards the TARDIS, and she followed, as she always did.
It seemed like it had been years since Rose's days in the TARDIS, when in reality, she had been in here a few hours ago. Rose Tyler and the Doctor, in the TARDIS, that's how it was supposed to be. She was different than his other companions. He was different this time too, less cold, and closed off as his previous regeneration had been. He was more like her, more friendly and cheeky, and without her there, it already felt like he wasn't himself anymore. He started to cry, a lot. About her, mostly, he cried because he was angry at himself. How could he have not told her how he felt before? How could he have traveled for nearly two years with her, and never told her? Why did he have to leave it to this day, the second he faded away from her, forever? Why couldn't he have been brave? For once in his entire life, why couldn't he have been brave? Rose Tyler was special, and he knew that, more so than she did. She had saved him, and he had failed to save her this time, he had failed her in so many ways. He pulled out his journal again, to write an apology letter to Rose, when a woman with bright red hair, appeared in her wedding dress.