The Cruiserweights

By Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus

Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus: Let's get this out of the way. I love Donkey Kong and Wiggler. I loathe Rosalina, so much that my hate is hotter and colder than anything and everything in the universe. And that's all you need to know. Enjoy the story!


Donkey Kong was looking at his mail in his treehouse, whistling to himself as he spotted something interesting. "Hmmm? Gather around for a special group meeting today!" He shrugged. "Well, I don't have anything going on in my life currently." He then jumped out of his treehouse, heading northward to the Mushroom Kingdom via a green warp pipe located within the Kongo Jungle.

Wiggler yawned as she stretched her front limbs, being on the top of her home in the Maple Treeway, when she grabbed a floating yellow letter from the sky. "Hmm? Special group meeting?" She squealed as she slammed her hands on her face. "Sounds fun! I'm gonna go right away!"

Princess Rosalina sighed of depression as she was in her bedroom, all alone as all the Lumas left her Comet Observatory. She was then hit in the face by a red mailbox, falling off her bed as she rubbed the back of her head with her right hand, seeing the blue letter coming to life as it waddled towards her. Rosalina grabbed it, but she got paper cuts on both of her hands, crying.

Later, at the recently renovated Mario Circuit for the Mario Kart 7 competition, the three individual Cruiserweight characters all gathered, all of them gawking as they looked at each other.

"Ugh! A filler recolor and a generic enemy?" Donkey Kong demoaned, placing his hands on his furry hips.

Wiggler stuck her tongue out as she shook her head. "Gross! An ugly human and a smelly ape that sounds like a stoned dog!"

Rosalina attempted to say something, but she burped loudly, causing her to blush in embarrassment as she folded her arms.

Suddenly, the three all got pinned down by a loud noise, causing all three to cover their ears as they looked up, to see Toadette holding a yellow megaphone.

"Attention, everyone!" Toadette called out as she giggled. "You're here because you are all part of particular groups in Mario Kart 7! For the next two days, you're gonna hang out with each other!" She winked while sticking out her tongue. "Have fun!"

Donkey Kong, Wiggler, and Rosalina all gasped as they got up, with everyone else gasping as well. Donkey Kong and Wiggler started screaming their heads off as they ran around in circles, while Rosalina was unable to say anything, simply speechless.