What Do You Want?

"Hey, Alfred?"

"It's Arthur..."

"... What are you doing?"

"Nothing, really."

"Because it looks to me like you're staring at that thingermabobber."

"Yes, right..."

"... There are better things to stare at on this ship. Me, for instance!"

"Sorry, did you say something?"

"... Nevermind."



"Are you happy here?"


"Are you... happy? You know, here. With me. On this ship."

"Of course. I mean- yes, of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know... It just must seem weird to you. Being-being human and all."

"Well, you're human, too."

"Yes, but, you know, I'm used to all of this."

"Oh, no. I'm fine. Trust me."


"Uh huh?"

"Is there something wrong?"

"No, no, there's nothing wrong."

"Really? Because it seems like there's something wrong."

"Why would you assume that?"

"Well, you never leave the kitchen. You're always standing there. What are you trying to accomplish?"

"Oh, nothing. Just a human thing. Like repeating ourselves. You know."

"Ohhh... Right."



"Why are you standing there? It's terribly inconveniencing..."

"Sorry. I can move if you want."

"What does it matter what I want... Nothing I want matters."

"Oh, right, then."

"It's not all right... It's terrible..."


"You think the human-man's alright?"

"His name is Arthur, Zaphod. Arthur."

"Yeah, sure, Trill, but he's kind of freaking me out."

"He said it's just a human thing."

"Ford, you were around humans for fifteen years. Do they normally just stare at things?"

"Well, he's staring at a spaceship thing, so it's hard to say."

"Oh, why bother... Speculation is useless..."

"I think maybe he would have liked to stayed on Earth..."

"Oh, don't say that. He seriously has a thing for you. He was talking about you when I was telling him the world was going to end..."


"You know I can hear you guys."

"Oh, sorry, Arthur!"

"Oh, yeah, Alfred! Didn't mean to leave you out of the picture or anything, haha!"

"Yes, he did..."

"Erm, Alfie, buddy... You've been staring at that thingermabobber for a long time. Is there anything in particular you want? Because it can make anything!"

"Anything but what I want."

"What is it that you want?"

Arthur glanced up from the device that Tricia had first showed him, the one that could make any food that you craved. He looked at his four friends (one girlfriend, one best friend, one out-to-lunch President, one depressed android), resisting the urge to have a mental breakdown then and there.

He didn't regret his decision to join Tricia on the Heart of Gold.


"I just want a cup of tea! Is that so much to ask?" He sighed and put his head in his hands, rubbing his forehead.

The perks of living in space?

It didn't involve a good cup of tea.

I just watched the movie a few days ago... Fell in love with it. On Chapter Seven of the actual book at the moment. In love with it as well.

The only annoyance I've had is that Arthur just leaves Earth and his tea behind! His tea! He loves his tea! How could he- /sighs No spoilers on the book, please, but, that was my reaction after the movie. xD

Feedback would be lovely. First venture into the Universe. Thank you.