Trying to get back in the game after months long writer's block. I'm a bit rusty, so tell me in which ways if you have the time.
Five Times Steve shocked someone else on the team.
Pepper Potts couldn't have been five feet outside the diner when a ketchup-soaked French fry dropped from Clint's mouth and into his mouth, and then he squeaked, "Ohmygod."
Natasha took a bite of her chicken salad and looked up at her two lunch-mates sitting at the table of the crowded diner. Clint's eyes were wide and his jaw dropped, while Steve looked confused, and mildly panicked.
"What?" she asked with a full mouth. And after chewing a swallowing, asked again, "What's the matter?"
"Her ass." Clint muttered, "Pepp—Pepper's ass. Blood and guts was checking it out. With his eyes."
Steve's eyes went wide, he looked down, and he tried to dig into his food, which he'd previously only picked at, trying to pretend nothing had happened.
Natasha's eyebrows rose and she looked between the two in surprise. Pepper Potts had been at SHIELD headquarters across the street for a meeting, and had dropped in to say hello. Natasha made some small talk, Clint made some good natured complements about the minidress she wore and Steve was, as usual, quiet and polite when spoken to.
"Did you?" Natasha asked.
"I most certainly did not!" Steve said indignantly.
"He was eyeballing it!" Clint said, and whipped his head to look Natasha in the eye, "Right when she turned around. He looked at it. He eye-hugged it! All the way until she left out the door. And then he smiled!"
"I wasn't eyeballing it!" Steve defended himself.
"Why'd you put the emphasis on the 'it', Steven?" Natasha asked.
Steve looked at her for a moment, and seemed like he was trying to think his way out of this one before he gave up and hung his head, and with a sigh, he said in resignation,
"They were her legs."
"Augh!" Clint sounded, "That's even worse!"
"How?" Natasha asked, "How is it worse?"
"There's two of them? I don't know! That's not the issue!" Clint said, pounding the table with his fist to punctuate his outrage, "The issue is…. Stevie boy was looking at a woman, like a grown man looks at a woman. I am deeply upset by this."
Natasha nodded, unable to conjure as much investment in the situation as Clint was.
"So all this time, your good old fashioned, clean-cut, wholesome, all-American dorkyness was a, a deceptive façade?" Clint demanded, "You're a dirty pervert, like the rest of us?"
"Look, Barton. I like legs. I like legs very much." Steve said, "I, however, understand that those legs carry human beings. I respect the women to whom those legs are attached, and so I don't wolf-whistle and I don't indulge in making lewd comments, because I don't want them to feel disrespected, as I mean no disrespect."
"She has a boyfriend." Clint growled, "You know, Tony?"
Steve furrowed his eyebrows."
"He's her boyfriend. He doesn't own her."
Clint stared at Steve blankly for a moment, and then he got up, pulled his jacket off the back of his chair and walked away without uttering a word.
"He's going to tell Tony, isn't he?"
"No, he won't." Natasha said as she took a drink of water, "Even if he did, Stark would probably take it as a complement."
Steve thought for a moment before he said,
"I should talk to Clint."
"You should take a class on being subtle, too. You're an Agent of SHIELD, now, Steven. You can't be getting caught looking at a woman's legs."