Killing the imprint. Bella and Paul story.
It's been three months since Edward left taking his family away with him and leaving me alone in the woods to be found three days later by Sam Uley. I was shocked when he took me into the woods to talk, I can't believe he said everything that I have been thinking since I met him.
He played on all of my insecurities so I would let him go. Well I couldn't at first; I was so lost I didn't know how to live without him. Until I met Jake's pack friend Paul who instead of holding my hand and pitying the leech lover he told me how it was straight out. I will always remember what he said to me that day because it was the day I slapped him in the face and at the same time my life shifted, instead of feeling alone and lost I felt whole again. I knew in that moment that my heart belonged to Paul.
It's been four days since I last saw Jake, he hasn't been here and he won't take my calls. I was getting pissed at him, I couldn't believe after everything I told him that he would go and break me as well. I know what Edward did was wrong and it hurt me more than anyone would ever know. But what Jake did was worse because he fixed me just to brake me again.
I decided to go to his house and find out what the fuck was going on. I arrived at his house and saw him there with Sam, Paul and Jared. I went straight up to him and pushed him.
"So this is the reason you can't call me back? You're busy with all your friends huh? What about me Jake?"
He looked shocked to see me and even more shocked that I had pushed him and was confronting him now. He looked over to the guys' then back down to me.
"Bella you shouldn't be here. We can't be friends anymore."
"You're breaking up with me?"
He laughed and that shocked me. How could he laugh at a moment like this?
"Breaking up with you? Bella how can I break up with you when I never had you?"
"I know that I've been a mess but you were helping me, your my best friend, how can you leave me?"
"Bella you'll be fine just go and find the leeches that you love so much. Tell them to fix you. Edward is a coward for breaking up with you, he should see what he has done to you."
I just looked at him like he was crazy what the hell is wrong with him? He has never spoken to me in this manner.
"Jake what is wrong with you?"
I looked behind him to see the guys still standing there. Just looking.
"Nothing is wrong with me Bella. But what Edward did was disgusting leaving you alone in the woods after breaking up with you."
"You think I don't know that? I know what he did, I was there, and I felt everything like it was a knife to my heart. But that doesn't make you the saint in all this. Yes Edward broke me but what you did is worse. Cause you fixed me just to brake me."
He looked at me with pain in his eyes.
"Bella don't say that, I never meant to hurt you."
"But you did."
He just stared at me; I heard chuckling behind him and looked to see Paul and Jared, laughing at something which for some unknown reason pissed me off more than I was. So I pushed past Jacob stood in front of them and glared at them, which shut them up or so I thought. Paul was the first to speak.
"Yes Bambi what can we do for you?"
That really got to me and I acted on impulse rather than thinking I just acted. I slapped Paul in the face. But that wasn't what was strange. As soon as my hand touched his face it sent shivers down my spine. And the heat, god it was unbelievable.
He looked shocked for a full minute before he snarled at me then launched into a verbal attack on me.
"What the fuck is wrong with you Bambi?"
"I...I...What?" It's all I could master up a few spluttering words.
"I said what the fuck is wrong with you? Who do you think you are coming here having a go at Jake, because he is not what you want him to be. Your knight in shining armor. Then you fucking slap me in the damn face. Who the fuck do you think you are?"
I just looked at him, what he was going on about my knight in shining armor it wasn't like that with Jake and me.
"But it's not like that between me and Jake he knew that, I told him."
"It doesn't matter. Look, the leech left you big damn deal why the fucks are you acting like it's the end of the damn world? There fucking vampires anyway, they can't love anyone there dead."
Did he just say Vampires? How? What? Why? How dare he judge me and my relationship with Edward he knows nothing. That's when I felt it for the first time in a long time, real unadulterated anger coursed through my veins. I felt my fists bull up, tears come to my eyes and I felt myself shaking. How dare someone judge what I had with Edward? That was a real relationship. I loved him and he loved me. I know he did.
"HOW DARE YOU. WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? YOU KNOW NOTHING OF MY RELATIONSHIP WITH EDWARD."
"I know enough. He's not here is he? Where is the love of your life huh?"
"Just because he not here doesn't mean he doesn't love me. You know nothing of love."
"And you think you do?"
"I know enough."
"Really? Cause your blind as fuck when it comes to Jacob loving you."
"No, I know how he feels but he also knows how I feel. I told him I could never love another."
"Have you even tried?"
"That's what I thought. You don't even know do you? Don't stop living your life because some dumbass mother fucker left you. Live your life and show him what he is missing. Live your life, be happy. God you haven't even tried to let him go. If you let him go you may find that you will actually find happiness rather then this piss poor excuse of a life you've been living."
I looked at him, he was right, for the past three months all I've done is think about Edward and his family. How they left me. But that's it. I need to show them that I can be something without them. I don't need them in my life to be happy. All this was right. Paul was right. Why couldn't Jake ever say this to me? Why did he have to push me so much into trying to rush something when I needed to heal myself from what I have been through.
"Your right. I can't believe an asshole like you is right."
"Well thank you Miss Bambi."
I looked at him to see him smirking. I just shook my head. I looked over to Jake who seemed as shocked as everybody else that I had actually agreed with him. I thought about everything that I have said and done to Jake and knew what I had to do. He has been a good friend but he deserves so much better than me. He needs someone to love him for whom he is and that can never be me. He will always be my best friend and brother I can't see him as anything else. I looked to Paul and gave him a soft smile which he returned.
"Thank you Paul."
"You're welcome but for what?"
"For telling me exactly what I needed to hear. And I'm sorry about hitting you."
"No sweat Bella, You can't hurt me anyway. And I was just being me."
I nodded to the others and walked back over to Jake.
"Hi so you hit Paul huh?"
I nodded and smiled. I grabbed his face in both my hands and made him look into my eyes.
"Jake you know what has to happen now don't you?"
He shook his head.
"Jake I love you as a friend and a brother, But I can never see us together. I can't I'm sorry."
"Bella how do you know?"
"Because I don't love you like that. You need to move on and find someone else who can make you happy. Love them with everything you have Jake because you never know when you're going to lose it."
"Bella what are you saying?"
"I'm saying goodbye Jacob. I can't be around to mess your life up anymore it's not fair. I can't ask you to fix me because I need to do this myself. I need to do this for myself."
"Bella don't do this please. We can still be friends. I can give you that."
"You can't Jake because you have feelings for me. Please be happy Jake move on find love, but be happy."
I leaned forward and placed a soft kiss to his lips then went to walk away. But he stopped me by grabbing my hand.
" Please don't go Bella don't leave me."
"I have to because you deserve so much more then what I can give you. You will always be the little brother my parents never gave me. I love you Jacob Black."
I pulled my hand away and carried on walking. I heard him crying in the background.
"Bella? Please? Don't do this."
I looked behind me to Sam and asked with my eyes for them to help me. He nodded and went over to Jake and grabbed him. I saw him struggle in his hold but he couldn't get out.
"BELLA? Please don't do this please don't walk away from me. I love you."
"I'm sorry Jacob. "
I got in my truck and drove home. I phoned Billy when I got home to apologize for what I did to Jacob and he said that he didn't blame me. Jacob knew what he was doing. He asked if I was okay and I said that I would be in time. He said that he would always be there if I needed him. I said thank you and goodbye.
End of Flashback.
That was three weeks ago. I haven't seen Jake since and I don't think I should until he is ready to come to me. I can't force myself on him as a friend but he does need to know I will always be here as a friend. I knew what the guys were because of Edward and his family told me all about the Wolves and the treaty they had with them.
I don't think any of them knew that I knew about them. But I wasn't going to tell them until they were ready to come to me and tell me.
I was sitting in my room after a long day at school, it was my last final today so I was happy that, that chapter of my life had gone and I could move forward with the rest of my life. It was one of the lucky ones to be graduating early. I find out next week whether or not I passed my finals. I got my scholarship into Harvard Law School. And I was planning on going down early next week to get a head start on the next chapter of my life.
I asked Charlie whether we could have a goodbye party so I could say goodbye to everyone and he agreed. He asked if he could invite a few people, I knew who he would invite but I said yes anyway. The party was to be held tomorrow night at the local hall.
Jessica, Angela, Ben, Eric and Mike would all be there but they don't graduate for another three weeks. I had chosen my outfit and all my stuff was packed and ready to go. Mum, dad and Phil banded together to buy me a new car one fit for a Law student dad's words.
I was bought out of my thoughts by Charlie coming in the front door.
"Hey Bells, you there?"
"Yeah dad what's up?"
"I got something for you come down here."
"Okay be down in five." I put the book down that I had been looking at and went down stairs to see dad.
"Hey dad what ya got me?"
He gave me a small box, which I opened, and inside was a love heart locket. I picked it up and saw an inscription on it. It read. Isabella Marie Swan, I love you daddy's little girl.
"Dad this is amazing."
"It's just something to remember me by."
"Dad I could never forget you. You're my dad and I love you."
"I love you to Bells always have always will."
We hugged each other and that was the end of it. I went into the freezer and picked out what I was going to cook for tea tonight.
I dug through it to find some of Harry' Fish fry that dad loved so much and reheated it for him. I wasn't all that hungry tonight so I just ate a sandwich. After I was finished I went back upstairs got ready for bed and just laid in bed thinking about everything.
A lot has happened in the past couple of months most of it not good but I have come out of it still alive and a lot stronger than before. I knew that I wouldn't let anyone hurt me again. I would be careful and go into a relationship with certainty of where we both stand first. Edward had taught me that much.
And also to let someone love me for who I am and not what they want me to be. I know now that me and Edward never fit together, he didn't want a girl like me he wanted someone to bow down to him and allow him to be the man in the relationship. I am my own person before anything else and I would always stay true to that from now on.
I was just laying on my bed thinking with my eyes closed, when I heard a noise from my window. I looked over and was shocked at who I saw standing on the tree knocking on my window. I rushed over to it and opened the window.
"Jasper? What the hell are you doing here?"
I just looked at him, what the fuck is he doing here? Why would he come back and not Edward? I was just looking at him with my mouth hanging open. I must have looked ridiculous.
"Bella? Are you going to let me in or are you just going to stand there with your mouth hanging open looking like a fish?"
I shook my head and moved out of the way.
"Come in Jasper."
He climbed in through my window and stood in my room.
"Jasper why are you here?"
"I've wanted to come back for a long time but never had the control to. Bella I wanted to say how sorry I am for trying to kill you at your birthday."
"Jasper its okay, I know that you had the blood lust of all of the others in the room not just yours. I never blamed you for anything and I still don't blame you."
"But if I had never tried to attack you then Edward wouldn't have left you."
"Yes he would of, he didn't love me. He would have used some other excuse to leave me Jasper."
"Bella Edward loves you."
"No he doesn't and please you can't come back into my life after so long of being gone telling me he loves me when I have finally gotten over him and moved on with my life. I start Harvard Law next week. I got a full scholarship. "
"Thank you. Jasper how are the rest of your family?"
"They miss you. They would all like to be a part of your life again."
"Not right now Jasper, I am finally happy but I still hold a lot of anger towards your family. I just need to heal myself completely first."
"Of course I will tell them. We will go at your pace."
"Right, well I'll leave you to rest. Goodnight Bella."
With that he left. I shut the window and laid back on the bed thinking about everything he had said. None of it changes how I feel now. I don't feel the same way about Edward as I used to. There is someone else who hasn't left my thoughts but I have been trying not to think about.