Author's Note: I decided to write this one-shot after watching an episode of The Annoying Orange.
Regina's in Town, so We're Leaving!
One sunny day in Denver, Colorado, a group of young people was sitting down at a table in the Beilschmidt family's restaurant, Whatever. They were eating, some of them—particularly Alfred F. Kirkland-Jones—were talking with their mouths full, which irritated some of the others.
Arthur Kirkland-Jones, one of Alfred's brothers, slammed his hands down on the table and glared at the teen. "Alfred Fucking Kirkland-Jones, will you stop talking with your mouth full? You're getting food everywhere, you bloody dolt!"
Alfred loudly slurped his Coca-Cola while he spoke to his eldest brother. "Oh, sorry, Iggy-brows. And my middle name is Foster, not Fucking."
"Will you just shut up?" Arthur said and slapped his forehead.
"What a comfy chair," Ivan Braginski said with a smile. What he was sitting on, however, was Matthew Kirkland-Jones, Alfred's second older brother by one year.
"Help meeeeee…" Matthew said quietly.
"Ivan, get off my big bro, yo!" Alfred yelled at the Russian.
Ivan was confused. Gilbert, the youngest Beilschmidt sibling, tried pointing it out to Ivan.
"Ivan, Matthew's sitting in that chair," Gilbert said, pointing at the suffering second Kirkland-Jones brother. "You're sitting on him. Get off him."
However, Ivan wasn't listening to Gilbert. Instead, he was hitting on another teen, Toris Lorinaitis, who was trying to have fun with his boyfriend, Feliks Łukasiewicz. Finally, it was the eldest Beilschmidt sibling, Liesel, who spoke up.
"Ivan Braginski, get the hell off Matthew right now, and stop harassing poor Toris, you big butt!" Liesel exclaimed, glaring at Ivan.
Ivan then saw Matthew struggling to get out from under him and got up. "Sorry, Matthew." Then he turned towards Liesel, looking a little insulted. "I'm not a butt."
"Like, yeah, you are, dummyhead," Feliks said and started cracking up. "Hey, Liet, doesn't Ivan look like a total butt? Bwahahahahahahaha! Oh, my ribs!" He literally fell out of his chair and started rolling around on the carpeted floor of the non-smoking area of the restaurant, out of breath from laughing so hard. Tears came out of his eyes, but he still kept on rolling and laughing.
Toris tried helping Feliks off the floor and back into his chair. "Feliks, calm down. It's just Big Butt Braginski." He flinched when Ivan glared daggers at him and said, "Kolkolkolkolkolkolkol" repeatedly.
Ludwig Beilschmidt, the middle Beilschmidt sibling, started getting angry and jumped out of his chair, then started yelling at everybody. "You dummkopfs! Stop this shit right now!" With that, everyone stopped what he or she was doing. Ludwig then turned towards François Bonnefoy, who was sitting naked at the table, much to everyone's chagrin (including Duke Togo's). "And you, François, put your fucking clothes back on! You're getting Gilbo to do it, too!" He gestured towards Gilbert, who was now sitting in his shirt and underwear.
François sighed sadly. "Okay. Gilbo, you should put your pants, socks, and shoes back on, too."
"Alright," said Gilbert. He did as he was told and put his clothes back on, just like François.
Just as François and Gilbert finished getting re-dressed, Lovino Vargas, the eldest of the three Vargas sibs, rushed in.
"Ciao, Lovi," Feliciano, the middle Vargas brother, said cheerily.
"What's up, fratello?" the youngest Vargas brother, Savio, asked with a big grin. He ran up to Lovino and grabbed onto his arm.
"Guys, you've gotta get to Hotel Rinnegan right away!" Lovino said excitedly. "It looks like there's something big going on, because they're bringing out the big guns in terms of decorations! Come on!" He ran back out, Savio still glued to his arm.
Everyone else—except for Duke Togo, that is—looked at one another, wondering what could possibly cause great excitement at the hotel just a few blocks down. Usually, the owners of Hotel Rinnegan—Minato and Kushina Uzumaki—only brought out lavish decorations for holidays or if a major VIP or celebrity was to arrive in town and chose their hotel to stay in during their visit.
The group arrived at Hotel Rinnegan about fifteen minutes later. They saw that the Uzumaki's did indeed bring out the big guns with decorating, just as Lovino told them. There were Welcome banners almost everywhere on the outside, and garland from Christmas was the predominant kind of decoration on the inside. They also saw that they were not the only ones there; as it turns out, Yugi Mouto and his friends were there as well. Gingka Hagane and his Beyblader friends were also at Hotel Rinnegan. Even Minato and Kushina's son, Naruto's, friends showed up!
Naruto's friend, Ino Yamanaka, went up to the young comedian. "What's going on, Naruto?"
"Oh, I heard my parents say that some A-list actress is gonna be staying here," Naruto replied. "I didn't catch her name, though."
"It's not Yukie Fujikaze, is it?" Naruto's best friend, Sasuke Uchiha, asked.
"No, Little Sasu, unfortunately, it's not Yukie Fujikaze," Kushina answered. She didn't look too happy.
"Mrs. Uzumaki, why aren't you excited?" Sakura Haruno asked.
"Yeah," said Téa Gardner. "An A-list actress is staying at your family's hotel. That should be great news!"
"Is she hot?" Joey Wheeler asked.
"Yes, and no," Minato replied.
"You don't think she's prettier than me, do you, Minato?" Kushina asked her husband.
"No, I don't, honest," Minato answered truthfully.
"Am I the only one who thinks Mina here's not making any sense?" Yu Tendo asked.
"Listen, Yu, nobody calls me Mina," Minato hissed at the annoying boy. "Nobody! I'm not a girl! Do I make myself clear?" He got in Yu's face as he said this.
"Y-Y-Yes, s-s-s-s-s-sir," Yu stammered.
Everybody laughed at Yu being scared of Minato.
"I'm confused," Gingka said when everyone stopped laughing at Yu. "Uh…who is this A-list actress who's staying here, anyway? And why are you guys acting like you can't stand her? It's not Kristen Stewart, is it?"
"Oh, HELL no!" said Minato.
"I wouldn't put her on the A-list," Sasuke's older brother, Itachi, said. He then went back to tuning his electric guitar.
"Yeah," Sasuke's little sister, Hayate, added. "She's more like a D-list actress. Kristen Stewart sucks!"
"Well, then, who is it?" asked an anxious Lovino.
"I'd rather not tell you," said Minato.
"Whyyyyy?" François whined.
"Let's just say you won't like who it is," said Kushina.
"Oh, come on, Mom, Dad!" Naruto pleaded with his parents. "Pleeeeeaaaaaaaaasssssse?" He gave Minato and Kushina the puppy eyes.
"Trust me, Naru, you guys won't like it," Minato said warningly.
Just then, Mizuki came in, carrying some kind of big sign. "Here you go, Minato." He set the sign up on an easel. It was actually a framed poster advertising a new movie, which Naruto and the others found out once the sheet covering said poster was removed. On the poster was the A-list actress who would be staying at Hotel Rinnegan: Regina Mills. The poster showed Regina with her nose upturned, looking away from the camera to one side, hands on her hips, eyes closed. She looked very, very snobby, and that is because she was, indeed, a snobby woman.
Everyone screamed as soon as they saw the poster; more specifically, they screamed at Regina.
"That's who's staying here?!" Masamune Kadoya exclaimed with tears welling up in his eyes. "That bitch Regina Mills?!"
"I told you that you wouldn't like who it was," said Minato.
Naruto turned to his parents. "Mom, Dad, how could you let that bitch stay here? She treats just about everyone like dirt when she's off the set!"
"I heard she even treats her son's nanny, Emma, like trash," Ino said.
"Come to think of it, I heard that her son and her dad are the only people she's nice to off the set," said Yugi.
"Sorry, Naru, but it's for business," Kushina explained. "We don't have to like her, but the hotel makes a lot of money whenever celebrities stay here."
"I'm not gonna stick around here," Ludwig decided. "If she sees us here, she'll decide take whatever problems she's always having out on us!" Everyone agreed with him.
"Hey, why don't we take my family's private plane, and go to Europe?" Lovino suggested.
"That sounds like a great idea, Little Tomato!" Antonio said excitedly, using the nickname he gave Lovino at one point during their early childhood.
Lovino turned beet red at the nickname his cousin used. "Don't call me that, Tony, you bastard! I hate that nickname!"
Once everybody agreed to the trip to Europe, they all argued for twenty minutes about where to go in Europe. Finally, they all agreed on a lengthy trip to the countries of their ancestors, starting with Italy. Yao and Kiku Honda were excited about visiting Europe, as they had never been there before.
"The only countries we're not going to are Ukraine, Russia, and Belarus, aru," Yao announced.
"Oh, man! No fair!" the Braginski siblings groaned.
Arthur sighed irritably. "We'll go to those places next time, you big babies. Okay?"
"Fine," the Braginski's said and pouted.
Half an hour later, everybody met up at the airport, where the Vargas family's private plane was. The Vargas brothers decided to show them the plane. The others were impressed by how it looked…until Yu had to open his stupid mouth and kill the excitement, as usual.
"Why is there an Italian flag painted on one side?" Yu asked in an annoyed voice. "I don't like that flag. It sucks."
"Because we're Italian," Lovino answered, ready to murder Yu for saying that his ancestors' flag sucked. "We think it's cool."
"And it is," Tristan Taylor said, smiling.
As if on cue, Mai Valentine made it, a bunch of suitcases and duffel bags in tow. More than she could carry, in fact!
"What's this, Mai?" Joey asked. "We're going on a short trip, a few weeks to be exact! Who are you, Lady Gaga?"
"I happen to dress based on what country I'm in," Mai replied indignantly.
"But in all the tournaments I've seen you enter, you wear the same outfit," Tsubasa said.
"You'd like to think that, wouldn't you?" Mai retorted. "But this is what I looked like in that tournament I Germany." She showed Tsubasa a photo of herself wearing short shorts and a white T-shirt that said "ICH LIEBE BERLIN" in big, bold, black letters.
"Uh, Mai…that's just a T-shirt that says 'I Love Berlin' on it," said Joey.
"Well, I do!" said Mai. She turned towards Liesel, Ludwig, and Gilbert. "Don't you three love Berlin?"
"Yeah, but we don't go around flaunting that on T-shirts," said Ludwig.
"Well, we can't stick around here," said Alfred. "Let's get on the plane." And together, everybody started to board the plane.
As they were boarding, Kiku noticed that Feliciano was wearing a pilot's hat. "Oh, so you're flying." He didn't sound too happy at the possibility of his reckless driver friend flying a plane.
"I'm surprised you're even willing to fly the plane after what happened last time," Madoka said to Feliciano. "Lovino told me about it."
"I'm not flying the plane," Feliciano explained, much to Kiku's relief. "I just think this hat looks shizzy."
"So who is flying the plane?" Ludwig asked.
"Al's grandpa said he'd do it," said Feliciano.
"Indiana Jones?" Gilbert asked enthusiastically. He grinned and hugged his teddy bear, Prussia, tightly. "Awesome!"
Just then, the Kirkland-Jones brothers' grandfather, Henry "Indiana" Jones, walked onto the plane. "Alright, everyone, take your seats; we'll be taking off shortly."
"Hey, Grandpa!" Alfred exclaimed excitedly. He grinned at the elderly man with the fedora on his head.
"Hey, Al," said Indiana.
"Ya wanna do something when we get to Italy?" Alfred asked his grandfather.
"Sure," said Indiana. "Now, sit down, and I'll fly us the hell out of here. I don't want to be near Regina Mills, either."
After everyone took their seats, Ludwig's girlfriend and Feliks' older sister, Krysia, looked around the plane, and then spoke to Ludwig, who had Gilbert in his lap. "You know what would make this flight more enjoyable, Lui? If the both of us were sitting together."
Ludwig smiled and turned to speak to Krysia. "Yeah, that would be great." Then he got an idea and spoke to his cousin, Roderich Edelstein, a.k.a. "The Playboy of Denver". Roderich was sitting right next to Krysia. "Hey, Roddy, switch seats with me. I wanna sit next to Krysia."
Roderich turned to look at Ludwig and rolled his eyes. "No way. This seat is next to the emergency exit. Someone responsible needs to sit here, and that's not you, you German moron."
"Scheβe," Ludwig groaned in disappointment. Then he turned towards Arthur, who was sitting right next to him and talking to his magical friend, Flying Mint Bunny. "Arthur, why don't you switch seats with Krysia, so she and I can sit together?"
"Sorry, Krysia's chair doesn't recline, and I have a feeling I'll get nervous during the flight," Arthur said politely. Then he went back to his conversation with Flying Mint Bunny.
"Aw, man," Ludwig groaned. Finally, he was able to get a bunch of people to rotate seats so that two empty seats were available to him and Krysia. Unfortunately, the seats weren't right next to each other; they were across the aisle from each other.
"Oh, darn it," Krysia said.
"Well, I lucked out, dude!" Alfred declared happily. He had his arm wrapped around Liesel, who lovingly leaned her head onto his chest; Alfred and Liesel were dating, much to Ludwig's annoyance.
"Lise, I forbid you to date that stupid American," Ludwig told his sister while keeping a hold on Gilbert so he would run around on the plane.
Liesel turned to her younger brother and rolled her eyes at him. "Please, LuLu, we're all Americans, dummy."
"Touché," Ludwig said. He had no comeback to Liesel's words at all. Gilbert just laughed at him.
Ivan's little sister, Natalia—who was acting as stewardess—came out with meals for everybody on the plane. She also gave the group each a pair of headphones so they could watch an in-flight movie; since the Vargas family owned the plane, the headphones was free.
After distributing the headphones, Natalia made an announcement:
"Okay, everyone, in a few moments, we're going to watch the movie Santa Lucia, starring Alessio Vargas," Natalia said. "Enjoy." After making the announcement, she sat down next to Ivan, putting his arm around her. This made Ivan very uncomfortable.
"Help meeeeee," Ivan said, turning towards Toris and his little brothers, Eduard and Raivis, for help.
"No way," the Lorinaitis brothers said. They then continued to watch the movie.
Yu decided to get up from the movie. "Well, I'm bored. I'm gonna check out the cockpit." He left to bother Indiana.
Tsubasa tried to stop Yu from going to the cockpit due to knowing what the obnoxious blond was up to. "You know, you're gonna get yourself thrown off the plane."
Yu laughed at Tsubasa. "Ha-ha! Yeah, right! Stupid Tsubasa."
Tsubasa just let Yu go, then muttered under his breath. "Don't say I didn't warn you."
Meanwhile, Indiana was flying the plane, but was rudely interrupted by Yu, who threw the door open.
"HIIIIIIIIII, INDYYYYYYYY!" Yu shouted at the top of his lungs.
Indiana jumped and thought he was going to have a heart attack. "Hey! What's the big idea, Yu?"
"I just wanted to check out the cockpit," said Yu. He looked at all the buttons and levers. "How do all these things work?"
"Just go back to your seat," Indiana said tiredly. He massaged his temples. "Great. Now you gave me a headache. I hope you're happy."
"Sorry," Yu said, not really meaning it.
Indiana sighed and got up from the pilot seat. "I'm going to get a couple aspirin and lie down for a bit. I put the plane on Autopilot. Now, just go back to your seat, and don't touch anything!"
"Uhhhhh, sure," said Yu. He ran out of the cockpit and watched as Indy left to go get some aspirin and lie down. After making sure Indy wasn't looking, Yu snuck back into the cockpit and played with some of the buttons there. Then, without realizing it, he switched off the Autopilot. "Uh…oops."
Suddenly, the plane was out of control! This scared everybody on board, even Ivan and Natalia, who were never fazed by anything. The plane was shaking violently, causing everyone and everything to fall and shake. Someone's suitcase—most likely Mai's—fell out of one of the overhead compartments and hit Indy on the head, knocking him out cold.
"Grandpa!" Matthew exclaimed.
"Oh no, Grandpa's dead!" Alfred said, about to cry.
"No, he's not dead, you dolt!" said Arthur. "He's just knocked out! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"
Ivan's big sister, Katyusha, struggled to get out of her seat. "What's going on? What happened?"
Yu came out of the cockpit. "Uh, I think I pressed the wrong button. Sorry, guys."
"Why the hell were you pressing buttons at all?" Gingka exploded at Yu.
"Well, Indy wouldn't show me, so I decided to try the buttons out for myself," Yu replied as if he were just talking about the weather.
Joey grabbed Yu by the front of his shirt. "You little bastard! You've killed us all!"
Lovino turned to Feliciano, who was holding on to his seat for dear life. "Feli, you need to take control of the plane, fratellino!"
Feliciano didn't look too happy at the prospect of actually flying the plane. "Do I have to, Lovi? Can't I just finish watching Santa Lucia?"
"No, we're going to die if you don't fly the damn plane, you dummkopf!" Ludwig yelled as he held on to both Krysia and Gilbert, who were screaming for their lives.
"But I'm still haunted by the memories from last time!" a now crying Feliciano said.
"What happened last time?" Gingka asked.
"He crashed a plane in a video game," Madoka explained to Gingka.
"That was a video game! This is real life!' said Gingka.
Liesel had to hold on to the seats as she made her way to Feliciano. "Please, Feli, you're the only one out of all of us who has had any flight experience at all. You have to fly the plane. If it would make you feel any better, Lui can be your co-pilot."
"Really?" a now cheery Feliciano asked with a huge smile. "Grazie!"
Feliciano and Ludwig then got out of their seats and made their way to the cockpit.
"Remember, with the power of friendship, anything is possible," Téa called after them.
"Shut up with the 'power of friendship' thing already, Téa," said an irate Joey. "It's annoying."
In the cockpit, Feliciano sat down in the pilot seat, while Ludwig sat down in the co-pilot seat.
"Okay, let's land this thingy!" said Feliciano.
Ludwig gave Feliciano a weird look. "Thingy?" Then he shook his head and tried to get back to what they had to do. "Alright, we're going to have to turn this plane around and head back to Denver. That's the only safe route we have."
"Okay," Feliciano said in a perky manner. "Anything you say!" He grabbed hold of the steering wheel, then began piloting. Everyone screamed because it turned out that Feliciano was also a reckless pilot.
"Now, just be careful—AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Ludwig exclaimed.
The plane sped toward Hotel Rinnegan.
"Feliciano Vargas, be careful!" Ludwig screamed. "You might hit someone—Noooooooo, the hotel!"
Everybody continued screaming for their lives as the plane neared the hotel.
Meanwhile, in Hotel Rinnegan, Regina Mills arrived, snobby as ever. Poor Minato and Kushina were at the entrance as well, ready to greet the actress.
"Welcome to our hotel, Miss Mills," Kushina greeted with fake enthusiasm that sounded very real. "We're so happy that you're staying here."
"Yeah, yeah," Regina said in a bored voice. "Just have someone take my stuff up to a room if that's not too much to ask."
"Not a problem," Minato said through a forced grin. He was about to summon a bellboy, when Iruka Umino, the doorman, spoke up.
"Can I just say one thing?" Iruka asked.
"What is it?" asked Minato.
Iruka pointed to the Vargas' plane just outside the front window. "Airplane!"
Everybody, Regina included, screamed and attempted to get out of the way. After the plane crashed into the hotel, Minato, Kushina, and Iruka emerged unscathed, while Regina got injured by the wing of the plane.
"Call an ambulance!" Iruka said when he saw Regina. The lobby desk clerk dialed 911 right away and explained that they needed an ambulance at Hotel Rinnegan.
A bunch of ambulances arrived and transported Regina and the passengers of the Vargas family plane to Denver General Hospital, where they were examined. While there, Lovino offered to pay for the damage done to the hotel, and Regina angrily declared that she would never again do business with Hotel Rinnegan. The latter came as a relief to the Uzumaki family, due to Regina treating them like trash from the moment she arrived in Colorado.
The pals also agreed that Feliciano was not allowed to fly a plane anymore, and they would take a vacation around Europe next time.
Author's Note: fratello- brother (Italian)
ICH LIEBE BERLIN- I LOVE BERLIN (German)
Scheβe - Shit (German)
fratellino- little brother (Italian)
Grazie! - Thank you! (Italian)
P.S.: For those of you who don't know:
Yu, Masamune, Madoka, Tsubasa, and Gingka are from Beyblade
Liesel Beilschmidt, Krysia Łukasiewicz, and Hayate Uchiha are OCs of mine.
Ludwig, Feliks, Ivan, Katyusha, Natalia, Gilbert, Alfred, Arthur, Matthew, Toris, Raivis, Eduard, François, Lovino, Savio, Feliciano, Antonio, Flying Mint Bunny, Yao, Kiku, etc. are from Hetalia- Axis Powers.
Regina Mills and Emma are from Once Upon a Time.
Iruka, Minato, Sasuke, Itachi, Ino, Sakura, Naruto, Mizuki, and Kushina are from Naruto.
Yugi, Joey, Tristan, Mai, and Téa are from Yu-Gi-Oh.
Duke Togo is from Golgo 13.
Indiana Jones is from, well, Indiana Jones.