I thought I'd try my hand at a time turner story, which are some of my favourite stories to read. However, rather than the write an angst filled Hermione-falls-in-love-with-younger-Severus-and-will-he-still-love-her-in-the-future story, I took a VERY LIGHTHEARTED approach.
Severus, in this story, is out of character in that he neither dark nor emotionally repressed, and Hermione has lost her bookish, hand waving, prim know-it-all ways. I did not consider the epilogue in DH at all and of course, I disregarded the chapter where the sexy Potions Master dies; all other characters that JK Rowling killed off in her books are, sadly, still dead when I return our intrepid couple to the present day. Sorry!
The characters are irreverent and fun. There is a light bit of plot, but the point of the story is to have fun reading it. I simply am not fussed with all the minutiae of time travel do's and don'ts. If there are a few anachronisms or I've veered from events as they took place in canon or fanon, then….whoops!
Special thanks to TycheSong, WhisperGypsy, Jamies_Lady, and the woman who gave me virtual grandbabies, xpage394x. Your advice and cheerleading were fantastic! Also thanks to onecelestialbeing, just because.
I do not own the characters created by JK Rowling; that makes me sad.
"Professor Snape," Hermione began with trepidation. "I really don't think this calculation is correct. This rune is not right." She tapped the parchment with her finger. "If you use it, the potion will not be—"
The Potions Master ripped the parchment she was holding from her hand with an angry grunt, giving Hermione a paper cut. "What do you mean, idiot girl?" He scanned the parchment. "I did these calculations and triple checked them. There is nothing wrong with these equations. The potion will work as predicted."
Popping the finger she had been sucking out of her mouth, Hermione growled, "No, it won't!" She snatched the parchment back, giving Severus a paper cut. "You've not considered that the cottonwood powder will react to the mandrake root, and that will cause this," she tapped the parchment again, "to react with the asphodel. The potion will not turn teal as it should."
Severus popped the finger he had been sucking out of his mouth and snarled, "I am Potion Master and you, Miss Granger, are not. I tell you this will work! Now add the ingredients as I have instructed while I finish chopping the dandelion roots."
"Do as I say, Miss Granger," Severus snapped with finality.
Hermione fumed as she added the ingredients. Although she knew that she was required to do as she told at all times by her Master, she was sure that if she felt it was a matter of safety, she could simply refuse to do the work. However, she thought, Professor Snape seems certain and, more often than not, he was right.
She began to stir the potion the requisite number of times when Severus spoke, "Continue stirring while I add the dandelion root, and then stir anti-clockwise for seventy more stirs. We can then cast a stasis charm, and it will be nearly ready."
In years to come, Severus would swear he saw a spectacular geyser erupt from the caldron while Hermione would swear it was flames. Either way, the resulting explosion hurled the couple across the room and slammed them into the walls of the dungeon laboratory.
When they came to, Severus spoke first, "It seems, Miss Granger, I owe you an apology. I may have miscalculated that last line in the potion after all."
Hermione sat up rubbing her head. Her first reaction was You think? but what came out of her mouth was, "Apology accepted, Professor."
The couple stood to assess the damage. Potion dripped from the ceiling, bits of cauldron shrapnel lay on the table, and smoldering bits of parchment were fluttering to the floor. Hermione glanced at her watch. "It's nearly time for dinner. Perhaps we should clean up and then eat. Afterward, we could look at the equation again and see what we can come up with?"
"Excellent idea, Miss Granger." Master and Apprentice began their task.
Hermione had been Severus' apprentice since completing her seventh year once the war was over and repairs to the castle were completed. In an hour-long ceremony, Hermione was bound to Severus as apprentice for four years. It was Severus' duty as Master to provide for his apprentice; a room was made for her in his quarters, and they shared the sitting room and bathroom (and that caused a few embarrassing moments as Severus was not used to needing to lock the door).
The pair got on surprisingly well. Something about Hermione's light-hearted attitude brought out a spirit in Severus he thought long dead.
They often played pranks on one another or together on other people. One of Severus' favourite memories to date took place during Hermione's second year of apprenticeship when the pair got spectacularly smashed, drunkenly wandered to Hogsmeade and proceeded to turn every building hot pink, a colour they both hated. Stumbling back to Hogwarts, the two went back to their quarters and drank some more, both becoming maudlin; Hermione over her defunct love life and Severus over his lack of love life. The pair passed out together in the sitting room only to wake the next day when a very angry Minerva stormed into their rooms and proceeded to scream the place down.
As punishment for their foolish behaviour, the pair had to go back to Hogsmeade, without benefit of a sobering potion, and clean up their mess. Angry shopkeepers would still not let the pair in their establishments at the same time.
Now in the middle of her third year, Hermione was beginning to formalise her final thesis and was preparing for a full year of teaching that would complete her fourth and final year.
Leaving the cauldrons to wash after dinner, they picked up their notes, returned them to their office, and went to their respective bedrooms to change, but quickly returned to the sitting room.
"Hermione!" Each said at the same time.
"Have you—" They stopped. Hermione said, "You first."
"Did you do anything to my bedroom today?"
"I was going to ask you the same question. My room is empty, nothing but boxes in it," Hermione babbled, hands gesturing in the direction of her bedroom.
"I was going to ask when you would have had the time to redecorate mine. It looks like that prat Lockhart redecorated my room!"
"We haven't been out of each other's sight since breakfast. When would I have had the time to do anything?" Hermione's stomach then grumbled loudly. "C'mon. Let's worry about this later and get something to eat."
They left the dungeons and made their way to the Great Hall. Along the way, Severus busied himself taking points off students for being out of uniform. Then he took points when said students gasped indignantly.
Meanwhile, Hermione couldn't help but wonder if the long nights in the dungeon were affecting her eyesight; when had Hogwarts gotten a new influx of students? She passed so many new faces!
Hermione stopped to stare at something, her mouth open in shock. Severus—busy telling off yet another student for being out of uniform—walked right into her just as she turned to call out to him. The impact resulted in both of them tumbling to the ground, Severus landing on top of Hermione with a painful thud.
"Merlin's hairy balls, Hermione," he growled. When he looked down at Hermione, he noticed she was staring at something to her left. Severus followed her line of vision.
"Merlin!" Severus gasped.