Ah, the bordem. I am thinking this fic will be insane. Why? Because I am bored. This beginning is absolutely pointless so I'll shut up now. First I need a topic..How about Harry Potter? That works. Okay. Now I need a plot.. Okay.Harry gets turned into a chicken by Voldemort. Okay, story BEGIN:

One fine day at Hogwarts, our favorite trio (or perhaps you hate them, I really don't know) was wandering the grounds. They decided to stop at Hagrid's hut. When they arrived they found he wasn't there. "Where'd he go?" Harry asked the air. "Oh, the Forbidden Forest," the air answered. "Thanks!" exclaimed Harry. Hermione and Ron wondered who Harry was talking to. "Is he alright?" Hermione whispered to Ron. "No," Ron answered. "Oh," said Hermione. And so, they headed into the Forbidden Forest, like they weren't supposed to, just because the air said to. "Why are we coming here again?" questioned Hermione. "Because I was told to come here by my friend Air," said Harry. Unbeknownst to Hermione and Ron, air was not air like that which you breathe but Harry's alter-ego/imaginary friend. He got the name, not from the air like that which you breathe, but rather the middle sound in his name, h-AIR-e. "So, lets look for Hagrid then!" exclaimed Harry, a smile on his face. This smile was not shared by his two companions. Just then a large BANG was heard. "WHAT WAS THAT?!" exclaimed Ron, having been thrown into paranoia from actually being in the Forbidden Forest which he had never been in before and was now in for the first time even though the movie says otherwise but THEY ARE WRONG! (and that is NOT a run-on!) They ran to the noise, with Ron screaming for them to leave the entire time. But, when they arrived at the noise's source, they only found Hagrid with a very sore head. "BAKA TREE!" exclaimed Hagrid. "You know Japanese!" exclaimed Hermione. "No, not really, I'm not supposed to know what 'baka' does mean, the author just felt like throwing it in there," explained Hagrid. "Oh," said Hermione. "The author-person must be bored." "Air says we can go now. Air forgets why we wanted to find Hagrid in the first place," Harry informed the group. "Whose Air?" asked Hagrid. "You don't want to know," Ron told him. "But let's get out of here anyway." Just then an evil laugh was heard. "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA! * cough cough * HA-HA- ha!." "'TIS VOLDEMORT!" exclaimed Harry. "'TIS VOLDIEWART!" exclaimed Air. "I HEARD HIM!" exclaimed Hermione. "Who?" asked Harry. "Voldemort or Air?" "Both," whimpered Hermione, very scared.of herself. "I..am...scared!!!!" cried Ron. "THAT IS NOT A SURPRISE MWAHAHAHAAA!" came a sickening voice, which, while dripping with evil, sounded as though its owner seriously needed a cough drop. "Do you have a cold?" asked Hagrid. "NO!" exclaimed Voldemort. "Emphysema? Or maybe laryngitis?" questioned Hagrid. "NOOOO* cough *," cried the villainous villain. "Why are you here? Why can you we only hear? Why can we not see you here? I can only end my sentences in here, see here?" asked Ron. "NOOO! 'TIS THE HERE HERE CURSE!" cried Hermione. "YOU NEXT!" exclaimed Voldemort. "Don't do it Voldie!" cried Air, the invisible voice. "Oh-yo-no!-yo-You-yo-Know-yo-this-yo-is-yo-no-yo-good- yo.."cried Hermione. "Oh-yo! The-yo-EGO-yo-CURSE-yo!" "She always has to talk about herself.I, I, I," tsked Harry. "YOU! MY LAST VICTIM!" said Voldemort, now visible. He pointed his finger at Harry. "It's not nice to point," Harry reminded him. "I NEVER HAD A MOMMY TO TEACH ME THAT!" screamed Voldemort. "WELL NEITHER DID I THANKS TO YOU..VOLDIE!" retaliated Harry. "WAR OF THE WORDS!" cried Voldemort in much exuberance. "NOW, HAIRY that is A-I-R, let me TORTURE YOU!!!!!!" "Please don't kill me," our brave hero whimpered. "MWAHHAHA! * cough * A CONTRIDICTION! Well, POULTRIUS!" Harry went to cry a hurtful remark about Voldemort secretly loving to watch Blue's Clues and that's why he killed Harry (for the baby Harry's PJ's) however all that came out was, "Cluck! CL-CLUCK!" "MWAHA! A CHICKEN! I have turned you into the chicken you are!" "I-yo-,"said Hermione while Ron thought, 'How repetitive is what she's saying here.' "Need-yo-a-yo-countercurse-yo!" "OH NO ME DO YOU HEAR?! THIS IS JUST AWFUL WHAT HAS HAPPENED HERE! NOW SEE HERE! THIS IS BAD YA HEAR?" cried Harry's best friend, Ron. "I DON'T WANT TO BE BEST FRIENDS WITH A CHICKEN, YOU HEAR?" "CLUCK?!" Voldemort got quite a laugh out of this so he turned Hagrid into a drooling, smelly dog. "I name you.Fang." Then he continued by adding. "MWAhAHAhAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!!!!!! * cough cough *MWAH-HA-HA- hhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaa......................."