Okay, I wrote this last year and never posted it, dunno why...Well, this story is pretty strange. If I ever need to go to court, it's reasonable evidence for insanity really. But if you are one of the many people who are amused by insanity, please, indulge yourself. And now, Part II in the Insane Harry Potter Chronicles: Harry Potter and the Attack of the Monkeys.

Harry, finally relieved of being a chicken, was now managing his life again. Day to day going to classes and doing boring homework for hours on end. Yes, life was back to normal…or so he thought…
"Mwheheh…" cackled Voldemort as he looked at his newest project, attack monkeys. Since snakes no longer worked, Harry Potter being a parselmouth and all, he needed something new. Besides, everybody loves monkeys! How can you bear to hurt one, UNTIL THEY'RE TEARING YOU TO PIECES! thought Voldemort. He made an odd attempt at a cackle once more, soundly rather like a giggly schoolgirl. Since his fall from power he'd been having trouble with the whole evil laughing thing.
"Ladedadeda," sang Hermione, for lack of anything better to do or to say. No one cared to listen to her rant about pointless facts unless their lives were in danger anyway. She headed to the Great Hall to meet her friends, Harry and Ron, and do pointless things with magic until Voldemort made yet another attempt on Harry's life. That evil dude could hold quite a grudge. When she arrived, Harry and Ron were already deep into conversation.
"Dude, whatcha wanna do?"
"Dude, I dunno."
"Dude, whatcha wanna do?"
"Dude, I dunno."
"Dude, are we doing anything?"
"Yea, talking."
"Dude, you bored?"
"Dude, yeah."
"Dude…"
Right then Hermione entered the conversation.
"Hi guys."
"Dude, its Hermione."
"Dude…"
"Why are you guys saying dude so much?"
"Better than yo," mumbled Ron.
"Least I didn't sound like a hick," retaliated Hermione.
"Dude…" added Harry.
"What are you? Possessed? The game's over," Ron informed him.
"It was a game? Oh…" Harry seemed awfully disappointed for some random reason. (It's an interactive story! Think of a reason audience!)
Then, they heard a sound. A horrible sound. A sound that was indescribable. It broke windows and cracked stone, it was a sound like "O..OO..OOO…"
"Monkey?" whispered Ginny, who had randomly appeared. Just then, in through the broken windows came MONKEYS! TENS OF MONKEYS… okay okay, tens are too much. ONES OF MONKEYS! Yes, nine monkeys BURST through the windows ravaging the great hall scarily.
"Spooky…" said Ron in a spooky voice very spookily. (Isn't spook a great word? It's like spork and climb written in italics. Climb am I the only person who thinks that looks sooo weird? I realized that while I was bored as normal in English class…well I was bored last year. This year we don't DO English in English class but that incredibly off topic so I'll continue attacking monkeys now…) They killed Ron and killed Hermione and killed Ginny and killed the random idiot standing nearby. Then Harry said,
"Ah. The life attempt. I knew it was coming." (insert laugh here). Then the monkeys killed Harry, but luckily, the friend of the random idiot standing nearby had magical magic stuff and said magically magical words and POOF went the monkeys, bye bye! and POOF went Ron, Hermione, and Harry, and the random idiot nearby. But they didn't go bye bye they came alive!!!! (Ooo magic says the audience!)
"Wow, that hurt," said Ron.
"Dude," said Harry.
"Aren't you going to make the random idiot standing nearby come to life random idiot standing nearby's friend?" asked Hermione of the random idiot standing nearby's friend.
"He was annoying."
Back where Voldemort's secret hideout was, the monkeys appeared.
"Oh damn. Monkeys weren't good enough."
"Ya wanna know why?" said a monkey. "It's because we are nice, fluffy, and edible! We cannot be EVIIIL." Then my psychotic monkey friend appeared and said,
"I CAN!" But that's off-topic.
And so, the moral is, monkeys cannot be evil unless they are psychotic and that the random idiot standing nearby's friend can bring people back to life. THE END.

(And oh yeah, if you do havea friend who is a random idiot and they die and you can bring them back to life, don't let stay dead because you thought they were annoying. Because it's wrong.)