Ok, so let's try this again. Wanted to make some changes to I removed the other Beauty and Beast stories. No worries, they will be added once I reach that point.
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You like to read my story – I like to read your reviews. So I write chapters and you write reviews. Sounds like a deal to me.

Hope you enjoy Chapter 1. Birgitta

I own nothing. All rights belong to CW


Despite time lapsed and frequency, I can remember every single time I've felt her touch. Clearly, I can relive the memory and evoke the sensation her touch set off. The touches were all innocent, friendly, and with no intimate intention. Still, it didn't matter. Perhaps, it's because of the experimental drugs they injected into me making everything heightened. Or, maybe, it is because it is her.

9 years ago, when our paths first crossed and I first saw her, I had felt it. It cannot be explained properly. It was as if a permanent link was established and from that very moment, there has always been an uncontrollable pull towards her. And, no matter what my mind would reason, or JT, the gravitation has proven inevitable; I had to be where she was. I began to follow her, watch over her, and ensure myself of her safety. Sleep and eating proved difficult unless I knew that she was safe.

I shared none of this with JT. He would not approve. He would not understand. For him, as long as I was safe and not on Muirfield's radar, all was well and fine. But, it wasn't. I was neither well nor fine. I needed more. I needed her.

Throughout the years, I followed her advancements and I took pride in her achievements. She was alive because of me. Because of my rescue, she was able to carry on with life and make a difference. The realization felt good so I started to venture out. I was a Doctor and I should share my expertise with those in need. Muirfield had taken my humanity and turned me into this 'thing' but they had not wiped away the ability of the man. I could still make a difference. I had with Catherine so why not with others?

Then, that night came when all changed. JT would say for the worse, and perhaps I might have too in the beginning, but it is really the night when I regained my wish for truly living. Before that night, I was mostly just going through the motions and crossing of days on a wall calendar. It wasn't until she found me and realized who I was that waking up to a new morning would fill me with excitement. She made me happy to be alive. She made me begin to hope again, dream, and wish for more, for better, and for a future… with her.

It didn't happen overnight; me allowing her in and she lowering her wall. The obstacles were many and they were hard to maneuver around. She was adamant about her mother and she kept pushing my button, setting off the Beast. Yet, she didn't run. I can't understand why she hasn't run and how I haven't scared her off. When I change, when the Beast comes out, I am ugly, terrifying, and a menace. I had believed myself to be uncontrollable in this state. Yet, somehow, she is able to calm me and bring me back. Even as a Beast, she affects me.

"Daydreaming again?"

Even though I had heard JT come home, the Beast part of me is always alert and focused even when I am not, I had chosen not to go below to greet him. Communication and interaction has been tense between us lately. It used to be just the two of us. Despite of Muirfield, things used to be uncomplicated and straightforward. Now, there is Catherine and with every day she possesses an ever greater part of my mind. JT doesn't approve. He argues that it is dangerous, for all parties and I agree. Nonetheless, I can't comply with his advice and expel her from my life. What kind of life would it be if she was not in it?

"Have you worked on the cure today?"

'The cure', I mull, glancing over at the lab. It's been collecting dust lately. There was a time when I had worked frantically, back when I still had hope that my condition could be reversed. But now, after so many years of disappointments and failed results, the fire has gone out in me. It frustrates and angers JT, I can understand why, yet I can't get myself to restart.

"You know…" JT says as he heads towards the stairs. Hearing unusual tolerance in his voice, I look up. "…if I were you, I'd stop daydreaming about her and focus on lab work. 'Cause if you were to found a cure, those fantasies might actually become reality."

JT leaves me with my thoughts which I appreciate. He has made a solid point. Without a cure, without ridding myself of this poison inside of me, there is no chance of ever becoming more with Catherine. I am a Beast and she is a Beauty, and as long as that remains, my daydreams of the two of us will stay just that; dreams and fantasies. If I am to make her mine, in real life and in the flesh, I have to rid myself of the Beast and become just man. It is the only way.

Determined, I rise from my stool and head over to my laboratory. I have regained the drive to find a cure. This time, there is a prize to be won and it's a real Beauty.

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