XO: The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual

CONGRATULATIONS!

You are now the proud owner of an XO unit!

Follow the guidelines in this manual and your XO will give you decades of quality performance.

INSTALLATION

Your XO should arrive fully assembled and charged. Please check that you have all her accessories (see below) and that you have been issued with the correct edition of the XO unit.

XO (copyright McElroy/McCune, 2006)

TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS

Name: Kate McGregor

Nickname: XO

Rank: Lieutenant Commander

Warship: HMAS Hammersley

Country: Australia

Parents: Mr and Mrs McGregor

Height: 5'7"

Weight: insufficient data/none of your business

Hair Color: Black

Eyes: Brown

OPERATING PROCEDURE

Your XO unit has been designed to be user-friendly and proficient. Her controls are voice activated. Please state your commands clearly in English.

Remember that your XO unit is not only aesthetically pleasing but has multiple functions:

Drive and determination:

Your XO unit is one driven and determined unit. XO has not a problem standing up to anyone, even the FLYNN unit, to get what she wants.

Combat:

Your XO is trained in the basics of hand to hand combat and weaponry as is any Naval officer. She is very, very capable of verbal sparring though. She can try to stop an uneven fight, put you in your place or make you feel two inches tall if you irritate her. Just ask the FLYNN unit.

COMPATIBILITY WITH OTHER MODELS

You will find that your XO is compatible with most other humans. Your XO can also be paired up with the CHARGE unit (only after a break up with the FLYNN unit).

The maintenance of a FLYNN unit as an attachment to a XO unit is generally not problematic after the first few hours. The XO and FLYNN models have three modes of interaction:

(a) Business

(b) Friendly

(c) Romantic

WARNING: It is essential that both the XO and FLYNN units be set to the same interaction mode. If the FLYNN model is set to "Business" while the XO model is set to "Romantic", you will have an irritated Vulcan and a very messy break-up.

ACCESSORIES

The items with which your XO comes equipped depend on which edition of the communication officer you have purchased.

XO: Wears standard Navy DPNU's.

Both editions are equipped with bras, underwear, pistols and radios.

CLEANING

Your new XO unit prefers water baths with scented oils added. She also requires special body and face moisturizers and makeup. Hey, she might be a Naval Officer but she still likes to feel like a woman and look nice.

LUBRICATION

To ensure that your XO remains in good working order, moving parts should be lubricated regularly.

RECHARGING

After long periods of use, your XO's energy levels may become depleted. Use the following procedures to recharge your human:

Food:

Your XO unit likes to eat well balanced meals to keep her energy up and her weight down. She also likes traditional dishes. Make sure that there is chocolate available or there will be hell to pay.

Drink:

If your XO's energy is almost spent, give her plenty of water or coffee to drink.

Sleep

Your XO needs a solid six hours of sleep to function but can do on three hours if she can make it up later.

REPROGRAMMING

The XO unit can be upgraded to include updates on the Naval regulations and procedures.

SECURITY

Thanks to the popularity of the XO unit, it essential that you observe the following security procedures for the safekeeping of your communication officer:

* Have your XO micro-chipped. Any SWAIN unit would gladly do this.

* Do not leave your XO unattended in public.

* Do not lend your XO to anyone (e.g. Rick Gallagher, Jim Roth)

ADDITIONAL INFO

For questions or concerns not addressed in this guide, please feel free to contact us at mailing address:

NAVCOM

PO BOX 1701

CAIRNS, QLD

THE END

Thanks for reading!