Author's Note: Hai! ^^ Oh my God I missed it. You guys, I missed YOU! I'm back with this little (lol) one-shot. It's pretty much inspired by Supernatural series (it fucking ruined my life, but I love every single moment of it). So, in this, Alec is an angel (based on Castiel - so for those of you who watch Supernatural, if anything sounds familiar, it's because, well, I freaking love Cas). Magnus is human. Ah, and I might be a little under the influence of this book The Fault in Our Stars by John Green, so please forgive the large amount of okays.Warnings: angst, angst, porn, lots of swearing, extremely angsty Magnus, wing!kink... So, rated M for reasons. Of course, characters belong to Cassandra Clare, Eric Kripke is responsible for my Supernatural obsession. All mistakes are mine (English is not my native language, so bear with me). Enjoy! And please review to tell me what you thought :) (One last thing: for now, this is completed. But I'm aware there are many things left unspoken, so I might or might not write a sequel or something. Tell me if you would like to read one.)
Magnus sat down on a pavement outside a club. He pulled his knees up under his chin, buried his head in his hands, trying to overcome the nausea. Uh, great. Usually, he loved being drunk – that he didn't have to think about his terrible life, that nothing really mattered – if only the side effects weren't so biting. At the thought of tomorrow's hangover alone, he wanted to die then and there.
His life sucked. He was gay – a fag, according to his "friends" at school, and even to some of his teachers. He had a few friends (without quotation marks), to whom he wasn't too close. He was simply afraid of rejection, after all that jazz with his family. Now he lived alone – not good thing in his case. He had money, too much money that he spent on alcohol and occasionally drugs. He was useless, a waste of space. Nobody told him that, nobody had to – he knew it.
He lived from hand to mouth, losing himself in meaningless sex and buzz. Constant noise in his head kept him going. He didn't think about his future, didn't know what he wanted to do in his life, he just assumed that it didn't concern him. After he graduated he would find himself in a pitch-black hole. It was sad that the thing that he hated so much, was the only thing constant in his existence, which organized his life. When he lost it, he would have nothing.
Magnus raised his head, after the first wave of nausea passed just enough. He stood up with difficulty. Stumbling, he started to walk down the street – hoping that his apartment was somewhere in that direction.
It was a middle of the night, so late that almost early, winter was coming. The air was cold, little puffs of steam coming out from Magnus' mouth. It started to drizzle. Magnus turned up the collar of his jacket, and then he wrapped his arms around himself. He started to shiver. In combination with dizziness, it was difficult to walk now.
After a while, he raised his head – simply to check where he was – and frowned. He was standing in some dark, narrow alley, the buildings nearby had smashed windows and seemed abandoned.
Suddenly, something caught his eye. A shadow distorted in one place, as if somebody stood there stuck to the wall. A pile of rubbish was rustled by wind. The only lamp on the street started to flicker.
Magnus should have run. Scrammed off before it was too late.
But what if somebody needed his help? Magnus laughed bitterly inside his head – you don't have a good heart, Bane, you just don't have willingness to live.
Slowly, he moved closer to the figure that started to take shape. It was a boy: young and beautiful. He had dark, ruffled by wind hair, porcelain skin and black clothes. And he was staring at Magnus – fuck, he had the most gorgeous, blue eyes – following Magnus' every move.
"You okay?" Magnus asked, surprised by his own raspy voice. He tried to clear his throat.
The boy looked at him from under his eyelashes, his stare somehow… lazy.
"The question is… are you?"
His voice was so clear, Magnus' headache almost vanished. But no, something like that required defensive attitude. Magnus tensed. "What's wrong with you?" he snapped. "I was trying to be helpful." No, he didn't, really, but the boy didn't need to know that.
The stranger freaking smile – well, it was just a crook of his lips, almost invisible, but Magnus noticed, he was observant. Life taught him that.
"I see." The smile became more visible. "Well then, I am good, thank you." He tilted his head. "Do you need any help?"
The boy looked so naïve, adorable and innocent like that that Magnus had to laugh. It was a bitter sound, and maybe a little insane, but he didn't care. Hell, this boy probably was just a hallucination, a joke by his drunken mind. He was damn too good-looking.
"You have no idea," he managed to utter between his hoarse chuckles. The tears started to prickle in the corners of his eyes. Because of a cold, of course. Of course.
"Okay, Magnus. It's okay."
Magnus didn't have enough time to be surprised – the boy pushed off from the wall, but he didn't use his arms. Two shadows grew behind his back, that soon began to transform into… a pair of fucking wings.
Magnus simply stared, his mouth probably hanging open.
The boy – the creature – stood before him, his wings spread behind his back (those were fucking huge, at least twice as big as their owner each, and pearly white, with droplets of rain hanging in the feathers), looking almost… nervous.
Magnus grinned. He put a hand to his temple and squeezed. Hard. "I must be really really drunk."
The boy sighed. "You have no faith, Magnus Bane."
"How do you know my name?" That was the real problem there.
"You called, so I came."
"I didn't call for anyone, for fuck's sake." The creature's wings wavered. Was he… pissed? "Who are you?" Magnus asked angrily.
"The name is Alexander, I believe. It sounds like that in human language. But you can call me Alec." The creature – Alec – trailed off for a moment, and he raked his pale fingers through his hair. "And I am an angel." He waited for Magnus' response, it was obvious, anxiety and nervousness all over his posture.
Magnus' shoulder slumped. "Did my mom send you?" he asked quietly.
At that, Alec stepped closer. "No," he said softly. "Why?"
"She used to say…" Magnus bit his lip. " That angels were watching over us." He shook his head. He looked at Alec's sympathetic face, resignation written all over his own.
"I talked to her, yes," Alec said. "She was worried. When I left, I promised her I would take care of you."
Magnus closed his eyes for a moment. A sigh escaped his lips, transforming into a small cloud. "Oh." The thought was… nice. Reassuring. His mommy, even after she'd died, was looking after him. Heaven thought he was important. "Okay," he whispered, "let's go home."
He started walking, without a glance toward the boy – Alec, the angel. He had nothing to lose: tomorrow, he would wake up, cold and alone, without remembering any of this. His brain was being nice to him tonight, it created such warming vision of beautiful boy, who was there to help. To fucking help. Well, too bad it was too late for help, too late for him.
The next morning, Magnus woke up with a headache from hell. Fuck. He didn't even remember how he'd ended up in his bed. Fuck! But not remembering was good. Fuck…
He rolled over onto his back and groaned. Fucking perfect.
He felt a press of cold fingers against his forehead and then, just like that, the headache was gone. So the nausea. And everything bad. His eyes shot open.
There he was – the pale boy, with his big blue eyes and tilted head, staring at Magnus with intense. Nothing extraordinary behind his back. Everything about him screamed, I'm so curious. Humans are such interesting objects.
"What the fuck?!" Magnus yelled and jumped out of the bed, to the opposite side, as far away from the intruder as it was possible.
The boy frowned. "You don't remember me." It wasn't a question, it was a statement.
"Well…" Magnus was speechless. Something started to pound in his head anew. "I remember some ridiculous stuff about you, and it isn't – it can't be – true."
"Alec the angel." The boy pushed his hand toward Magnus and smiled happily.
"Oh my God…"
Alec pouted. "Don't call Dad, it is not necessary."
"Sorry," Magnus said without thinking and then immediately slammed his palm against his mouth. "But can I- can I see them…?" Magnus gestured towards Alec's back.
The boy shook his head, displeased. "No. You had your chance. You don't need more evidence."
After that, they stared at each other for a while: Alec, trying to read Magnus' expression; and Magnus, entirely dumbfounded and at the same time worried about his messy bed-hair and wrinkled T-shirt.
The angel finally broke the silence, "Are you ready?" He was almost glowing. Excitement and joy painting a pink flush on his cheeks.
"For what?" Magnus asked grumpily, trying to fix his hair.
"We are going to spend an entire day together." Alec trailed off. He smiled sheepishly. "Of course if you- if you want to."
Magnus gaped at that. Aww, his little angel was shy…? He actually smirked. "Is it a date?"
"No!" Alec shouted. "No. I mean…" He started muttering something to himself, something that sounded like, I can't. We can't. It is not allowed. He is so handsome, though. At the end of his rambling, his face was flaming. "You can treat it like a, um, lesson."
"Lesson?" Magnus raised one eyebrow. "Are you that good?" He winked.
Alec choked on his own words. "It is not appropriate. Please, Magnus… Just… go out with me."
Magnus chuckled. "Sure thing, lovely. Gimme some time, I need to prepare." And just like that, he vanished into the bathroom.
Alec let out a shuddering breath. The worst part was behind him. Magnus accepted him. Magnus didn't freak out. Of course, his human was exceptional, after all. Alec smiled to himself. He'd observed Magnus, he'd known that Magnus would believe. But then, the human was impossibly unpredictable: he was reckless, frustrating, he swore a lot and was… uh, flirtatious. But he, Alec, could deal with that. The angel lifted up his chin. The worst part was behind him.
Or so he thought.
Magnus selected his clothes carefully. After all, he had one hot angel waiting for him in the living room. Magnus chuckled to himself – of course it was inappropriate, and just couldn't happen, he was a scum after all – but a boy could dream, right? They had one whole day to enjoy themselves.
He put on his favourite rainbow pants and blue cashmere cardigan - the colour reminded him of Alec's eyes. He smiled at that thought and nuzzled his cheek against the soft material. Then he applied some make-up: just subtle eye-liner, strawberry lip gloss… He left his hair down, it seemed too much trouble to arrange them in spikes today, but he did add some glitter. It would do.
When he stepped out of the bathroom, his place looked different. It was still his apartment, but it was… cleaner. It almost sparkled and Alec managed to accomplish that in… half an hour? Wow.
"Angel mojo, huh?"
Alec just shrugged. "Can we go now?" He then turned to glance at Magnus and immediately went dumbstruck. Mesmerized by his human, he couldn't move, couldn't blink. It seemed like he had to use all his will to stop himself from touching the material of Magnus' pants – wanting to feel it under his fingertips, to test how it felt.
"You look, um, nice," the angel finally spluttered out.
Magnus grinned. "Thank you, lovely. Just one more thing, I need to feed my cat."
"You have a cat? I haven't seen him before."
Magnus didn't look surprised by Alec's weird response, which implied that Alec'd been here before or was some kind of a creepy stalker. "Yes, well, he likes to hide." Magnus went to the kitchen to fill his cat's bowl and Alec followed him.
At the smell of his food, the animal appeared.
"This is Chairman Meow," Magnus announced. "Meow, meet Alexander."
The cat was petite, white with brown stripes. He lazily came up to Alec and nuzzled against his leg.
"He likes me." Alec sounded amazed. His eyes were huge and wide, and he totally didn't know what to do.
"Well, it's a good thing, isn't it?" Magnus smiled, took Alec's hand and guided him to Chairman's fur. Together they stroked the cat, once, twice.
"Yeah," Alec stammered out. "It's just… usually animals do not trust supernatural creatures."
Magnus didn't let go of Alec's hand yet. "I guess Meow is unique, then."
"That he is," Alec murmured.
They stood up then, leaving the cat flattened on the floor.
"Ready to go, angel?" It was Magnus who said that this time. Alec nodded and they left the apartment.
It turned out it was still pretty early – Magnus had no idea how came he'd woken up at such time, perhaps the angel's electrifying presence had such an effect on him.
Alec invited him to grab some hot chocolate, but in order to get some, they had to walk first. They headed for the park - there weren't many people and the weather was fantastic. It was cold, but beautiful. It snowed a little during the night, and now the thin layer of white powdery snow covered the ground. Everything sparkled in the pale sun, and the air felt refreshing. Magnus didn't remember when was the last time he just walked for pleasure. Now he breathed. And he was sober, for the first time after very, very long time. It was almost dizzying.
After a while, Magus' cheeks and the top of his nose were already reddened, and he nearly didn't feel the tips of his fingers. He blew on his numb hands, and then stuffed them into the pockets of his jacket. It didn't help much, though.
Alec glanced at him. "Do you want my gloves? I don't need them, anyway…" He pushed his hand toward Magnus, as if waiting for the boy to tear the gloves off Alec's palms.
"Or we could just hold hands," Magnus said casually, not looking at the angel.
"Um, I don't know…"
"Come on, it's just holding hands! Like friends?" Magnus then looked at Alec, his eyes so full of hope that the boy couldn't refuse. He accepted Magnus offer, and immediately felt warmer – he didn't usually feel a temperature , but the actual human touch was noticeable for him.
They walked like that, comfortable in each other's company. It felt right. It felt good. After a moment, Magnus started to swing their intertwined hands between them, and Alec actually laughed – short, adorable laugh, that crinkled his nose and lit up his eyes.
Finally, they reached their destination. It was a small café, and Magnus knew the place, even if he'd never been there before – he preferred other kind of… locals.
Alec ordered them two cups of hot chocolate, totally oblivious of the waitress making cow eyes at him. Magnus chuckled and Alec send him an inquiring look. The human just shook his head.
They settled themselves at one of the tables. Alec, instead of drinking his chocolate, eyed Magnus with interest. The teenager blew onto his share and took a gulp – aware of Alec's stare at him. Then he licked his lips. Come on, just a little fun!
"Aren't you gonna drink yours?" Magnus asked after a while.
"No. I don't digest human food. I ordered it for the sake of appearances only. Or for you, if you want it."
Magnus laughed. "Nah, I'm good, thank you."
Alec stared at him, again, with that cute little tilt of his head. "You are welcome," he said slowly.
They went silent, for just a moment, until Alec spoke up, "So, how is school?"
Magus glared at him. "You kidding, right? Tell me you're kidding."
"I apologize. I should not have asked. I know anyway, but I just wanted you to tell me."
"What do you mean: you know anyway?"
Alec leant forward. "I observe."
„Well, that explains everything," Magnus said bitterly.
"Are you angry? Why are you angry?"
"No, Alexander, I'm not angry." Magnus sighed. The boy was too adorable. "I don't remember how to be angry. For much of a time, I don't feel anything."
"This is not a good way out. You know it."
Magnus looked him in the eye. "I know. But somehow, I don't care."
Alec didn't respond to that. After a while, he asked, gesturing at Magnus' almost finished cup, "Is it good?"
Alec smiled. "Does it make you happy?"
Magnus paused. He looked at the angel's warm smile, his perfect lips curved gracefully, at fucking dimples in his cheeks. And he answered, "Yes. It does."
Alec leant back against his chair, an expression of triumph all over his face. His smile, if possible, grew even wider. His eyes said, I knew it.
"Do you want to go to the movies?" Magnus asked later.
Alec blushed furiously. He knew that humans tended to do it on dates. But it wasn't a date, no. Nonetheless, he would like to see a movie. It had been a long time since he had an occasion. So he nodded. Today was about Magnus, and Magnus looked pretty excited.
They chose a movie with angels as minor characters and Alec snorted from time to time at its absurdity. He was watching attentively though, fascinated and mesmerized. He was leaning forward, eyes glowing. Sometimes, he murmured a few words under his breath, things that sounded like, Oh, for the love of Dad! It was pretty hilarious to Magnus, who, instead of watching a movie, chose to observe the angel.
Alec caught him once. "Magnus? Are you bored?"
"No," the human whispered back. "I just feel really, really cosy…"
The corners of Alec's lips lifted. "Do you want a Coke? I could bring you-"
"No, Alexander." Magnus grabbed Alec's elbow when the boy already started to get up. "I just need a pillow. Come on, lend me your shoulder."
"Please, angel?" He was so warm and comfortable… And he knew, just knew, that Alec's smell would lull him to sleep without nightmares for once.
"Okay," Alec murmured.
Soon, Magnus began to snore softly. His breath caressed the skin of Alec's neck. The angel could have easily peeked into Magnus' head and seen his dreams, but he didn't want to appear a voyeur. He knew, though, that those were pleasant visions, and that was enough.
After two hours, they left the building – Magnus wonderfully relaxed. He hadn't felt that good in a long, long time.
Meanwhile, the snow melted. It'd started raining again, and soon the human and the angel were soaked. Alec insisted on taking a cab, claiming he was worried for Magnus' well-being, but the human refused. After regaining the ability to breathe again, he didn't want to let it go just yet. Besides, Alec looked cute like that: wet, lost puppy. Magnus started laughing. He was… mmm, happy.
When they finally reached Magnus' apartment, the teenager's teeth were chattering. The angel shook his head. "Let me dry you off."
They stood in the middle of the living room, a small puddle already creating under their feet.
"It's not fun at all." Magnus pouted.
"I am obliged to take care of you." Alec put a hand on Magnus' shoulder and a pleasant warmth began to flow between them. "I cannot let you catch a cold."
"Alright, mom." Magnus rolled his eyes. A second later he was dry, but… "What about you?" He gestured toward still soaked angel.
Alec actually blushed. "Um, can I- can I use your bathroom? It is complicated in my case. My wings…"
Magnus' eyes widened. "Of course! I'm sorry, I didn't know…"
"It is okay, just…"
Without another word, Magnus showed Alec the way, gave him a fresh towel and offered a pair of sweatpants to change. But Alec said he would manage to dry his own clothes.
"Do you need any help?"
"No, thank you, Magnus." Alec's face was soft.
Magnus could feel his cheeks starting to heat up. Oh hell… "Okay. Take your time, I'll cook something. I'm starving. I know you don't eat, but hope you don't mind…"
"Magnus," Alec stopped him. "Just go away," he said playfully and closed the bathroom door.
Magnus started to prepare the food, absent-mindedly. His thoughts were racing. He couldn't stop thinking about the angel in his bathroom, fucking naked. Suddenly, he heard a noise coming from said room.
"Alexander?!" He rushed there. "Are you okay?"
"Yes," came muffled voice. "The space is… surprisingly small."
Oh fuck. He must have spread his wings. Magnus felt heat starting to pool near his abdomen. "It has to be difficult to groom your own wings. You sure you don't need any help?"
"No!" the angel yelled, startling Magnus. "No. I will manage. Just, uh, sorry if I knock something down."
"Don't worry about it." Magnus' voice was hoarse, his throat tighten. Why did Alec not want him to touch his wings? Were they… sensitive? Magnus shivered. "Okay, I'm going away now! Good luck." And he came back to the kitchen.
Magnus nearly burned the pasta, he was so distracted. Finally, Alec appeared on the doorstep: his hair still slightly damp, his wings (unfortunately…) invisible. He wore his own clothes, to Magnus' disappointment. It would look wonderful on him.
"You good?" Magnus asked, glancing up from his meal, trying not to stare.
"Yes, thank you." Alec sat across from him. It was a little awkward at first, with Magnus eating and Alec watching him (that damn cute head tilted), but soon they settled for smoothly-flowing conversation. Magnus asked him how it felt to fly.
"Absolutely amazing." The angel's face assumed a dreamy expression. "It cannot be described. Some people think that we don't have free will, but when I fly, I feel free. I can touch freedom."
Magnus' face put him off his stroke. It was almost pained. "Why are you here?"
Alec froze and then slowly examined Magnus. His human's tone alarmed him: it was quiet, somewhat desperate, afraid. "What exactly do you want to know? It is a long, long story. After all, I am old." Alec tried to smile. Ha waved aside Magnus' questioning gaze.
A moment later Magnus' face smoothened. "Why me?" he asked in the same quiet voice.
"Oh. You called." Alec caressed the back of Magnus' hand, and then, embarrassed, hid his own hand under the table. "We, angels, all have our humans in charge. You could call us guardians."
"Does every human have his guardian?" Magnus interrupted.
"It used to be like that. But there are too many people now, and we… don't exactly reproduce." Alec flushed. "So now every angel has a few humans under his wings. Literally."
Magnus smiled at that and Alec's blush deepened.
"So I look after my people. I observe, learn, I am always close. I help them meet their fate, for example, find the love of their life –"
"You've been doing a shitty work so far." Magnus winced. "No offence."
" – But I cannot interfere. I cannot intervene, unless they want me to. And I, certainly, cannot change the way you think of yourself. Those are your decisions to make." Those were harsh words, but Alec's expression was gentle. "But you called. In fact, you cried for me so desperately, that I rushed as fast as I could. And here I am."
"I…" Magnus hesitated. "I don't remember calling for you."
Alec frowned. "You might have been drunk then. But I couldn't tell that. I observe people, but you are so complicated creatures that I am still so confused…" He trailed off, deep into his own thoughts. He mumbled something to himself – he tended to do that a lot, and then he looked strictly at Magnus. "Anyway, your plea was clear, there was no mistake."
"What is this day supposed to teach me? That I will miss you after you are gone? Hm?"
Alec looked… almost disappointed. "No… I thought…"
"Nah. I'm just kidding." Magnus made an unspecified gesture with his hand. "I get it – I'm wasting my life, the world is beautiful, do something with yourself. Yeah. Sure."
"No. Yes. I mean…" Alec sighed. He looked sincerely troubled. "You are so smart, Magnus. I know it, believe me. No, I will not stop. You could have everything you want, just believe it. You are so beautiful, inside and out…" Alec went silent then. He looked at his lap, his cheeks pink, his forehead wrinkled. "I should get back, Magnus," he finally said, without looking up.
Magnus let out a shuddering breath. "Don't go yet." It wasn't a desperate plea, in fact it was so soft and shy, but with so much force that Alec couldn't have refused.
In silence, they moved to the couch. Magnus sat with his back to the armrest, so he faced Alec. The angel wrapped a blanket around him and delicately patted his head. His human looked so small and vulnerable… If Alec could, he would cry. He sat opposite Magnus.
"Tell me about your friends," he spoke up softly.
Magnus looked at him. "Not so much to tell," he paused, but Alec didn't interrupted. "Well, there's Aline. She understands me, if you know what I mean." Alec nodded, as if he really understood that Aline was a lesbian and bullied because of it. Maybe he did understand. "We are not very much alike, she's rather quiet, but we are on the same side of a barricade."
"Why do you sound as you were at war?" Alec whispered.
"Because I am, kind of. I have to fight."
Alec frowned. "It should not be like that."
"I'm glad you think that. But it is." Magnus shrugged. He took a deep breath. "So, there's also Simon. He's a geek, a little boring, but easy to talk to."
Alec's face lit up. "I know Simon! He is Clary's."
"What do you mean?"
"Clary is Simon's guardian. She is a mate of Jace's, my brother. Well, we are all technically brothers and sister – and no, Magnus, it is not considered as incest – but we create smaller families. It is easier to live like that. When we are young, we have our own guardians, who take care of us until we are ready." There was joy in Alec's voice, love in his eyes. "I am pretty new at this. I hoped I was doing good. But… You don't think so."
"No, Alexander." Magnus shook his head. "Like you said, it's my own fault."
"We are not talking about 'fault' here. You cannot think like that. As if it is too late…"
"It isn't," Magnus interrupted, surprised by a confidence in his own voice. "I know it isn't. Thanks to you."
"Oh. Well. I'm not sure what I did right, but I'm glad it worked." Alec smiled happily, and Magnus mirrored his expression.
"I solemnly swear I will try to live a better life." It was a weird oath: spoken in dark, in hushed soft voices, without pathos.
Alec stood up, Magnus followed him – the blanket still around him like a cape.
"I really need to go now," Alec said. "I will return in six months from now, to check on you." He smiled, showing his dimples. "We will spend one more day together, okay?"
Alec continued, "But you must promise me something. Live your life, Magnus Bane. Do not try to call for me, for I will not show earlier than planned." Magnus winced. Was he so obvious? Fuck. Alec added softly, "Get ready to welcome love. My intuition is telling me that it is close. Believe me. Keep your eyes open."
As if trying to mock Alec, Magnus closed his eyes. He felt something soft against his cheek, almost like… a feather. He leant into the touch and purred. Alec caressed his cheekbone, eye-lid, and finally his bottom lip. Magnus' lips parted, he sighed.
The air trembled. Magnus opened his eyes. He was alone.
The first thing in the morning, Magnus went shopping and bought a calendar. He marked the date of Alec return. Next, he went to school, with his resolution to try – for Alec. It was only one last year till graduation. He could do it.
It was a month later when Magnus did it for a first time. He started to pray. Dear Alec, oh, this is fucking ridiculous. Today I got an A for my English essay, fuck, I sound like a fucking kid. I'm doing well, I don't drink anymore. How are you? Fuck. I'm fucking insane.
He started doing it every night. It was a kind of diary to him, and he knew Alec was listening. Sometimes it was long, long confession until he fell asleep, and other times only few sentences.
Hi, Alec. Today a boy, Will, asked me out. I'm sure you know it, you observe after all, but I wanted to tell you. He has black hair and blue eyes, I think it's my favourite combination. He's nice.
Alec. I remember what you told me about love. It didn't work out with Will. *sigh*
Spring came. He had so much work to do. Simon helped him with Math. Magnus didn't have life beyond school. Not long after, he started to feel tired.
One day, at the end of his "pray", he added I love you. It happened almost imperceptibly, casually and sounded entirely natural.
It was getting harder and harder to focus. Once, he almost broke down and went to the bar. He stopped at the very last moment. The bouncer sent him a seductive glance, recognizing him, but when Magnus looked up at the sky, the man's expression turned into disgust. Other time he bought two bottles of vodka, only to pour them out later into the sink, sobbing. He was pathetic.
Soon, he began to think that meeting Alec was just another hallucination. He almost didn't remember that day. He only had this feeling that if he failed, someone would be terribly disappointed. So he kept going.
At the end, his prayers were short and simple, I miss you. I love you.
The graduation was in a week. Magnus received a credit for every class, some of them with difficulty. Sometimes he just regretted not having anyone to watch him getting his diploma. Simon forced him to find university that he would like to apply. He complied. University of California sounded great. He thought that sunny weather would be good for him. He didn't like snow, it reminded him of something painful, though he wasn't sure of what exactly.
Magnus was going home with his diploma under his arm and his head raised. Despite everything he was… satisfied. And alone. Everybody went to a party. He, for once, was invited, but just didn't feel like participating.
He still couldn't throw away one image form his head: blue eyes staring at him during the graduation ceremony in the lecture theater. They were painfully familiar. Maybe they belonged to Will? No, Will was a year younger, he hadn't been there.
Today, if he still believed it, was the day Alec would return. So it was just his imagination, playing tricks on him.
It was getting dark, when he finally reached his apartment. He still liked to walk. He unlocked the door.
Alexander was standing in his entrance hall. As soon as Magnus' eyes widened in recognition, Alec pressed his lips against his human's. They both were perfectly still for a moment, shocked, but then something clicked. Their lips started moving in frantic pace: tongues, teeth and saliva. All Magnus could feel was heat and… something heavy leaving his chest.
He stepped back. Alec was there.
"You lied to me," Magnus spoke up. "You said I would fall in love –"
"And you did, didn't you?" Alec chimed in. "That is not exactly what I had in mind, but I am glad." He was fucking smiling. Little, crooked smile.
"Are you pleased with me?" Magnus said, his voice neutral. "Did I do well?"
Alec frowned. "I didn't wish for that to happen, Magnus. I wanted you to be happy. I want it now. I could not come earlier, you know it. You are my assignment, my responsibility. I cannot allow myself to fuck it up."
"Well, it's too late!" Magnus screamed. "I am your fucking assignment?!" Oh, he was angry.
And then, Alec's face broke. He was devastated. It was clear now, that for him the time apart from Magnus was equally hard. He was torn between loyalty towards his Father and his own desires. "I am so sorry, Magnus." Angels couldn't cry, but nevertheless, a strangled sob escaped Alec's lips. He said in a small voice, "I missed you. I love you."
That was it. Magnus lose it.
He clung to Alec and started planting kisses on his angel: the top of his head, his forehead, his cheeks, his lips… Their second kiss was slower, calmer… They tasted each other, licking lovingly, tongues dancing slowly, almost shyly. Magnus moved to Alec's neck. He left a mark there and it felt damn amazing.
He led them to the bedroom, their hands clasped together. In the doorway, Magnus began to undress his angel, sensing his uncertainty.
"Do you want to fuck me?" he murmured heated words against Alec's ear.
The angel shivered and gulped. "I can't…" He bucked his hips involuntarily. "We shouldn't… It's forbidden…"
"Do you want to?" This time Magnus tugged on Alec's earlobe and bit down pretty hard, accenting his words.
Alec moaned and held onto Magnus' waist. "I don't want to stop," he said quietly. He breathed against the human's neck. "I want to make love to you…"
Magnus lied down on the bed, pulling the angel on top of him. He got rid of Alec's shirt, and Alec did the same for him, his hands shaking.
The angel's fingers on his skin felt amazing, almost unimaginable. Chill against hot. Pale against tan. Alec bent forward and planted a kiss on Magnus' chest, right there where his heart drummed feverishly.
Magnus closed his eyes. Alec left a path of open-mouthed wet kisses on his torso, stomach and abdomen. He stopped at the waistband of Magnus' pants and breathed onto the material. Magnus was painfully hard by then, and he bit his lip, clenched his hands, trying desperately not to roll his hips into Alec's face.
It was obvious that Alec was new to all of this. Maybe he observed (that little filthy perv), but he didn't have any practice. So Magnus easily flipped them over and turned his attention to Alec's pink nipples. He licked one and caressed the other, until Alec arched into his touch.
"Magnus…" the angel sighed.
Magnus hands were on the zipper of Alec's pants. He looked into the boy's eyes, once again asking for permission. Alec simply nodded. He knew it was an act of rebellion. He didn't care.
Alec's pants landed on the floor, so his boxers and socks and the rest of Magnus' clothes. They were skin to skin now. The human rolled his hips experimentally and the angel fucking mewled.
Magnus was panting. It felt amazing, he couldn't believe it – he needed to press harder onto Alec's hips, probably leaving bruises, just to check if Alec was really there.
It was as if Alec read his mind. "I am here, Magnus," he reassured. "I am here." He clung to the human's forearms, but had to let go when Magnus lowered himself and gave Alec's cock a first lick.
"Oh!" Alec screamed, shocked, and threw back his head.
Magnus, satisfied with that reaction, sucked onto Alec's head, still tasting, not fully taking.
"Magnus!" Alec's eyes were wide, blue irises almost completely absorbed by pupils. He was looking down at his human lover, his one hand tangled into the black locks and the other fisted onto the pillow.
He looked beautiful like that: sprawled on Magnus' bed, flushed and open, trusting and giving himself. It was then when Magnus took him all. Alec screamed, his eyes rolled back his head. Magnus began to bob his head up and down, matching the rhythm of Alec's shallow thrusts.
"M-Magnus, ah, I don't know…" the angel was breathless.
Magnus let go of him, he didn't want it to end yet, and licked his lips. "Wait for me, angel." He grabbed the bottle of lube from his bedside drawer and handed it to Alec. They rolled over, so the angel was again on top of him.
"Hurry up, please," Magnus rasped.
Alec looked at his hands unsure, his head titled to the side.
Magnus nearly rolled his eyes. "Come on, I'll show you." He squeezed the large amount of lube onto Alec's fingers and guided them to his own entrance. "Slowly," he pointed out. "One at the time."
Alec started pushing and Magnus winced slightly. Uh, it'd been a while.
"Are you okay?" The angel immediately stopped, but didn't withdraw. "I don't want to hurt you."
"You are not hurting me," Magnus tried to smile. "Just be gentle."
Alec nodded. "Of course." His face was serious.
Soon, Magnus was moaning when Alec's three fingers were deep inside him, brushing against his prostate.
"Ah, angel! I need you inside me!"
Alec complied. He withdrew his hand and waited till Magnus' palm coaxed his cock with lube. He positioned himself and studied Magnus' face. It was impatient, greedy, and… full of love.
Alec pushed inside, slowly and gently, as Magnus had told him. It was extremely difficult to hold back, but his lover's comfort was more important. The angel was astonished when Magnus pulled him closer and crossed his legs behind Alec's back.
"Make love to me, Alexander," he murmured.
Alec started moving and, oh, it was incredible. Magnus' rocking hips helped him find a perfect rhythm, and he felt blissful.
Alec couldn't stop himself – to ease the tension he freed his wings. They spread behind his back and the tips touched the ceiling.
Magnus suddenly stopped moving. "Oh. Fuck," he whispered.
At once, Alec felt ashamed. He exposed himself so stupidly, he was probably a freak in Magnus' eyes, an ugly creature. He started to withdraw his wings, but Magnus' hands in his feathers stopped him.
Alec's wings were fucking huge. And perfectly white, at the right angle nearly silver. Almost glowing. Magnus couldn't resist – he had to touch them. He probably should have asked for permission, but he was completely hypnotized. He buried his fingers into soft feathers: they were amazing, breathtaking.
"So beautiful…" he whispered in awe.
Alec's reaction startled him – the angel moaned. At first, Magnus thought he was in pain, so he eased his grip, but then Alec breathed, "Don't stop…"
Oh, so angel's wings were extremely sensitive… Magnus rushed to try that newly gained knowledge. He caressed, petted, squeezed and grabbed, as Alec once again started moving inside him. He freaking pulsed around Magnus. The angel's eyes were closed, his hair plastered to his forehead, sweat in his brow. He was biting his lip and moaning shamelessly through his teeth. He looked so perfectly human right there and then.
"I love you, Alexander," Magnus said.
Alec's eyes snapped open. His wings fluttered with every thrust, and Magnus actually could feel wind onto his body. It caused chills to run down his spine. It felt electrifying, he could sense Alec's grace flowing through him, embracing his soul. When he touched the angel's shoulder blades, where the wings met skin, his fingers tingled. And then, Alec freed himself from Magnus' hands. His wings went around the human's frame: he wrapped one of them around Magnus, giving him a shelter; and with the second he lifted Magnus' hips for the better angle.
Magnus cried out when Alec hit his prostate. The angel leant down for a kiss.
"I got you." Alec's voice was clear. His tongue flickered, tracing the arch of his human's upper lip. "I am here, Magnus."
Magnus didn't dare to doubt it then. When Alec's feather rubbed against Magnus' cock – accidently or not – the human came.
The angel, witnessing such beautiful act, followed after a few deep, hard, possessive thrusts.
They lied down on the bed, exhausted and panting. Alec cleaned them up with a wave of his hand, and Magnus' let out a tired chuckle.
Magnus curled into Alec's side, placing his head onto his angel's shoulder. Alec didn't hide his wings yet – he wrapped them protectively around Magnus, keeping him warm.
The human felt safe. Loved and content. He planted one last kiss under Alec's chin. He could feel that the angel was smiling against the top of his head.
When Magnus woke up, it was still dark. Well, grey. The bed was cold, an empty space beside him.
A single white feather rested on the pillow. It was a little crumpled, yet soft.
That bastard promised him a day. He didn't get that much.
It was well past midday when the shrieking sound of a doorbell woke him up again. Well, he was guessing by the already high-standing sun that laughed at his misery. He buried his face into the pillows (which still fucking smelled like him), but the doorbell wouldn't stop ringing.
At the end, he put on some sweatpants and didn't bother about his hair. Fuck it. He unlocked the door. He had to take a double look, because the boy in front of him looked so miserable.
It was Alec, but he looked somehow younger, more vulnerable. His hair was rumpled, there were dark shadows under his eyes, he was visibly shaking. Was he cold?
"I am sorry, I didn't know where to go." His voice was small.
Magnus immediately invited him inside by stepping back. His facial expression was unmistakable, What happened?
Alec hung his head. "My Dad kicked me out."
Magnus face went blank. What?
"I have fallen," Alec added quietly.
Magnus hugged the former angel tightly, let him put his head on the taller man's shoulder. Had he planned to be angry with him? How could he now? The boy had lost everything because of him. "I guess God hates fags after all?"
Alec pushed him away. "What? No! Don't you dare think like that ever again!" He was a powerful angel for a while, scowling at Magnus. "He created me like that. He knew from the beginning. It is not that." Alec took Magnus' hand hesitantly. "We are not supposed to get close to humans in our charge. Especially fall in love with them." He smiled weakly and shook his head at Magnus' tortured face. "Please don't blame yourself, I know you're doing it right now. It was my choice. Yesterday I was aware of my actions. It is my choice, Magnus. I love you."
Magnus gasped. They would have so much to sort out. First of all, Alec lost his entire family, Jace and Clary…
"Stop, Magnus." Alec's voice snapped him out of his dark thoughts. "I trust you. I guess it is your turn to save me now. Will you take me in?"
The kiss was Magnus' answer. Alec tasted even more intense right now, but he was still Magnus' Alec.
The former angel rested his forehead against his human's, trying to catch his breath. "You know, I think Dad did us a favour. And he is perfectly aware of it."
Magnus grinned. The smile didn't reach his eyes, but they would work on that. "I guess now you have to learn how to be human. How about I will show you the wonders of a shower, first? You sucked at it last time I checked. What do you say, angel?" He winked, and Alec flushed beautifully.
They had so much more to learn, a long way before them. But at the end they would be okay.